》1987《

*Tommy*

A few months had passed after my honeymoon and once I got back was when Vince and Mick told me about what Nikki did to Mallory a few nights before the wedding, including how she almost even killed herself.

I was already pissed with him shooting up at my wedding. He was so fucked up that day.

What he did to MJ, though, was a new low, even for him. I was a little upset no one told me or Heather sooner, but I understood why. Their intentions were good, but MJ is still our friend, too, and we're all just glad it wasn't any worse than a few bruises from being grabbed too hard.

At first, I was thinking it was because he couldn't to see someone else happy.

Now though, I think its all becoming something else for him. He's been worrying the hell out of us all. Every night is one party after the other, spending a thousand dollars a day on heroin.

I guess if you've got a big hole in your heart, you gotta fill it with something....

The rest of the year and holidays came and went in a blink of an eye, it was a surprise that it was already January, soon to be February.

MJ has been living with Mick since the incident and looking to move out of the state somewhere else, all depending on her choice of medical college, since she's considering going back starting next year.

She also decided to legally change her name to Mallory Joan Smith, so that she could start fresh with a new name, no Sixx or Bennett. She was still under Sixx for a good while, and Vince and I offered to let her use  Wharton or Bass, Mick offering his real last name, Deal, but she decided on something simple, plain and average, that won't bring any attention to avoid any future paparazzi run ins, and just disappear from the public.

So far, one school in New York City seems promising to her. She's managed to get her transcripts and some paperwork and mailed them over, now she's just waiting on a call.

Her only problem right now, though, is her relapse... Its like she's always snorting a line wherever she goes now, even before bed, smoking a pack a day, popping a bunch of different pills every day, and I can swear sometimes, just sometimes, see her staring up at skyscrapers or at bridges or even sharp stuff in the kitchen for a little too long.....

She's broken.... And I wish there was a way I could help her.... If we can't help Nikki, at least help her....

Both of them are just in a dark fucking place...

.... The sad thing is, I think Nikki liked it in his.....

MJ's gonna keep working at the strip club and as our backup singer on tour until then to have some money saved up, making her final tour in the fall with us.

MJ was also actually once offered a recording contract by some company since they heard her singing on stage and loved it, but she turned them down, considering she was done with the music scene once she finishes the last tour, and dead set on a future in medicine.

Right now we were at Mick's place relaxing since we'll be on tour soon, MJ cooking lunch for us.

I sat on the couch with Heather, Vince on one of the armchairs taking a nap while Mick strummed his guitar on another chair, when the phone rang, waking Vince up with a snort and making me laugh.

Mick went to get up when MJ walked in from the kitchen, drying her hands with a towel.

"Don't worry, I got it," she said, walking over and picking the phone up from the receiver as Mick settled back down with a sigh.

"Mars Residence..... Yeah, that's me, how can I help you?" she asked, her fingers playing with the phone chord.

She was quiet as then her body went stiff.

"O-Oh... I see...." she said, looking shocked as she listened.

Vince, Heather and I looked at each other questionably.

"I-I'm not sure... We'll see... Okay, thank you for your call..." MJ said in a blank voice, and quietly hung up the phone, looking shocked and in thought.

"What's wrong?" Vince asked her as I lowered the TV volume.

She took a shaky breath. "Umm... My father... H-He ummm.... He passed away..." she said.

My eyes went wide, and Vince looked equally shocked.

"Wait, are you serious?" I asked.

"How?" Mick asked.

"A-A massive stroke, I don't know," she said, looking more as if trying to make some sense out of it than hurting, let alone even a little sad.

"Jesus Christ... MJ, we're so sorry...." Vince said.

"Is there anything we can do for you, Mal? Anything you need?" Heather asked her.

She sighed as if thinking. She looked somewhat calm, not even sad. Just shocked.

"I... I just... I need to lie down... Just for a little bit.... Thank you, guys," she said somewhat blankly, excusing herself before quietly heading upstairs, her hand to her temple.

"She seemed.... Neutral," Heather said, looking at Mick with concern.

"Her parents made her miserable since Day 1, even came as far as to actually force her to divorce Nikki when they were still married. Its only fair she feels conflicted about something like this," Mick explained.

"Should we go check on her?" I asked.

"Let's give her some space for now, just to gather her thoughts... Then we can talk to her and see what she's going to do," Mick said. "Despite the circumstances, she still lost a parent."

We nodded, knowing he was right.

*Mallory*

I looked out my window as I breathed in smoke from my cigarette, then blew it out into the warm air outside.

These past 2, almost 3, years have been hell, facing a lot of heartbreak and loss.

Yet when I face this kind of loss, the loss of a parent.... Why can't I feel anything?

I feel shocked, I admit, but... I don't even feel a little sad.... Let alone sorry....

Maybe I just cried myself dry after everything...

Then again, both my mother and father did whatever it took to control me ever since the day I was born, made my life a living hell everyday.

What to wear. What to study. What to eat. What to drink. What medication to take if I was sick. Who I should be friends with. Who I should have a relationship with. What my chores were. What I did wrong even if it was right.

Hell, even how much I should weight!!

If I refused, it was mostly met with abuse, mostly verbal, at times physical from my father.

I never really had a say in anything with them. I was practically their doll. The kind of doll that a spoiled toddler would fuck up with permanent marker scribbles, chopped up hair and maybe even had a missing leg.

It was a miracle they even allowed me to study medicine, since I wanted to. They wanted me to study law instead.

After a while I hear a knock at the door.

"MJ? Its me, Vince," He said. "Is it okay to come in?"

I put out my cigarette on the nearby ashtray.

"Yeah.... Come in," I said, and he slowly opens the door while I close the window.

"Hey," he said. "Just wanted to check on you. You okay?"

I sighed. "Is it bad if I say I actually am?"

He shrugged. "I guess it depends."

He has a point.

I sat at the foot of the bed, letting him sit next to me.

"I don't know, is like... This is the first time in a long time I've actually felt calm... Like, really calm..." I said. "I can't feel anything over my own father's death, not even an ounce of sadness, yet..... Yet, I was a complete disaster with Razzle and Dottie... Is that normal?"

He was quiet as he thought about it. "I guess... I mean, you felt with Razzle and Dottie because they took care of you and loved you, and you loved them back... From what I know about your parents, they just cared about your brain, and it didn't sound like they loved you like they should have."

I sighed as I laid back on my bed, staring at the ceiling as Vince laid back next to me.

"Do you know what you're going to do?" he asked.

"What? You mean the funeral?" I asked, looking over.

"Are you going?" He asked.

I sighed, but then shook my head. "Honestly... I don't want to go... There's really no point."

He pursed his lips. "But... He is still your dad..."

"No.... Ever since I met Nikki and Tommy at the diner that night, Mick has been more a father to me than the man that just died," I admitted. "At least Mick actually gives a shit about me... When I was in this coma a few years back for a whole month and a half, my dad didn't even come visit me until the day i was actually discharged.... Not even a single call...."

He frowned in shock. "Seriously?"

"Yeah... I won't give any details as to what happened, why I was in a coma, but the fact that I was on life support... Doctors were even close to pulling the plug on me.... Probably paralyzed for life or brain damaged if I did somehow make it.... Even then he didn't care enough to stop by not even once...." I sighed. "Had I not made it, he probably would have never even gone to my funeral, so why should I care to go to his own anyway? For his own satisfaction beyond the grave?"

He was quiet as if thinking, when he spoke.

"Well, you could also go I guess for closure," Vince said.

I looked over at him. "Closure?"

"Yeah. Like, a final goodbye," he said. "Think.... You don't have to face him anymore, ever again. Yeah, you're mom is still around, but this is now less of a hold on you. Now you can probably even let go of this for good, before you start over somewhere."

I thought about it. "I guess you're right..."

He smiled as I sighed.

"I just didn't think I'd ever be back in Tuscon for anything anymore, aside for my final Mötley tour," I said. "Hell, I barely even spent more than a whole day when we toured there, Nikki made sure we left right after the shows there, put my parents on a ban list and everything."

"Oh yeah," he said, as if remembering.

"Well..... I'm probably never coming back to Arizona anyway once I get the call from New York..." I said, thinking about it. "I might as well face the music."

"I wish I could come with you, but we'll be touring and its not exactly easy to backup the lead singer for the start of a tour," he said.

"No, it... Its alright," I said. "I can go on my own."

"You don't have to," He said with a slight frown. "I'm sure Sharise or Heather would want to join you," he said.'

"Maybe Heather... Sharise has to stay with Skylar, and I don't want to expose my goddaughter to the bigger mess that is my past life," I said.

He nodded as we pulled each other into a hug.

"I know you didn't have a good relationship with him, but none the less, I'm sorry for your loss," he said.

"Thank you, Vince," I smiled at him.

He smiled as I took a deep breath.

"I should finish up with lunch since its almost done," I said.

"Let's go," he said as we got up and exit the room.

Let's hope going to this funeral does help me one way or another.

~~~~~

So, a little update on life so far:

I had taken up a seasonal job, on top of my regular job, so I'm going to be pretty busy from here on out.

Updates will be really slow, depending, since I'll be pretty much working most days from morning to night, so I'm just going to try my best at drafting any story currently in the works, this one included.

Also, thank you all for the feedback on this story so far! It means a lot! 🤘🏻🖤🌻

🎧Currently in Sapph's playlist:

Blessthefall "You Wear a Crown, But You're No King"

♡~ sapphire.