*Mallory*

It wasn't long until we were all finally able to go home.

I was still on bedrest until my stitches fully healed, but was allowed to walk around only a little bit. Jasper was also thankfully healthy and well, and very curious about the world around him.

When it came to the media, Nikki and I had made the decision to keep Jasper away from it completely. If we ever wanted pictures or videos of him released to the public that it would be on our terms and our terms only.

Lexie, Ceci and Tom were all also staying over to help us take care of Jasper for a while. Once I'm able to go back to work and Nikki has to tour, Ceci and Tom were gonna come back to stay with us a few months to help around.

Considering he's still very little, Nikki and I decided to wait until Jasper is more or less a year old before we finally take him on any
tour.

Ceci and Lexie were out running some errands while Tom was taking a nap in the guest room.

I rested on the couch, breast feeding Jasper as Nikki was fixing up a song near me with a guitar on his lap, Jack watching over me and Jasper like a hawk.

Ever since Jack first met Jasper, he's practically been glued to our side, even staying close to Jasper's crib at night, and alerting us if he's even moving at all.

In other words, Jack has woken us up more than Jasper has at this point....

I watched as my son suckled softly from me, relaxed in my arms. His tiny fist clung to my shirt.

To think... Had the universe been against us... Had Jasper not made it like Razzle Jr. or Angel...... I most likely would have been sitting here, mourning the loss of another child, all the grief and pain making me think God only knows what....

Yet here we are.... The last bit of hope I thought I was going to lose ended up making it into my arms and making me feel whole...

Words can't begin to describe how grateful  and happy I am for these little seven pounds I had bled and cried for, who was able to bring into this world despite everything.

My thoughts were pulled as I felt Jasper struggle closer to me and laughed softly.

"Your son acts like we don't feed him enough," I chuckled softly as I looked down at Jasper, who hungrily ate, getting as much milk as we could. "He has a big appetite."

Nikki looked up from the paper, his glasses on.

He doesn't think so, but I think he looks cute in his glasses. Hehe.

"Or he's into boobs like his old man is," he smirked jokingly.

I scoffed and gave him a look. "Real charming, Nikki," I said as he gave me a cheeky grin.

I rolled my eyes with a small smirk as I watched Nikki pondering a bit. 

"What are you brainstorming over there?" I asked curiously.

He chuckled as he looked back up at me.

"Its a song I was working on for a while now," he said. "The rhythm and melody for it are set but I've been kind of working on the lyrics a bit. Its a short song, but I think it'll work for this next album."

"Is it ready?" I asked him as Jasper then pulled away, meaning he was done eating.

He looked over the sheet before he snapped his fingers and quickly jotted something down.

"It is now," he smiled as I pulled my shirt back up and cleaned Jasper up before resting him over my shoulder to burp him. 

"That's great, babe," I smiled at him. "Think we can hear it?"

"Absolutely. I did write it for you and Jasper," he smiled.

My eyes widen. "You wrote us a song?"

"Why wouldn't I?" he asked. "I've practically written you so many songs at this point, what's one more? Justwith an extra love now. Its guess its a bit of a lullaby, though."

I couldn't help but smile at him as then then a loud burp came out of my baby, spooking me.

"Oh!" I scoffed as Nikki burst out laughing, and then I couldn't help but laugh, too.

"Definitely like his old man now," he said, laughing.

I rolled my eyes. "Great, now I have triple the burps to put up with. You, Tommy, and now our child," I said with a head shake. "Something tells me I didn't think this through."

"Hey, you love my burps," he said, scooching over to lean next to us and kissing my cheek.

"Uh-uh, yeah... Whatever helps you sleep at night, babe," I scoffed with an eyeroll as we pecked each other's lips. "Play us the song, I want to hear it."

"Hehe, alright, let me grab the guitar," he said, getting up and walking to where he put the guitar before sitting close to us as I settled myself on the couch, Jasper resting in my arms.

"This one's for you and Mommy, little man," Nikki smiled down at Jasper as he looked curiously up at his father.

(Video: Mötley Crüe "Rocketship")

I watched as Nikki strummed the guitar a little before he started to sing.

fly to the moon
we'll take my rocketship
it's outta sight
oh so outta sight
leave your headed
check into this time
check your mind
let your sparkle shine

I couldn't  help but smile as Nikki sung the song.

Nikki's always had a deep but soothing voice when he sang. I always found it comforting.

pass the sun
say goodbye to everyone
we'll fall in love
as we pass the sun
hang from a star
forget just who we are
it's outta sight
oh so outta sight
from the moon
to the stars
to the sun
baby I'm in love

He took a deep breath before looking at us, and then laughing softly. "I guess my lullaby worked..."

I looked down and sure enough, Jasper was sound asleep in my arms, looking peaceful and happy.

I smiled down as Nikki carefully looked over, Jack quietly peering in and sniffing Jasper's little foot before sitting down and wagging his tail contenly.

"I loved it," I said to him.

He smiled as we shared a kiss before admiring our sleeping little boy.

"How could our parents never appreciate  something  like  this?" he sighed, softly  stroking Jasper's cheek with his knuckle.

I sighed. "I wish I knew.... At least we never have to be like them...." I said. "You and I may not really know what true love from a real parent feels like, but doesn't mean we have to deprive our own kids from it like we were."

"Very true," he nodded. "I know for the life of me my son won't ever have to worry about his father never being there and questioning why, just like I had to..."

I pursed my lips and reached up, resting my hand on his cheek.

He closed his eyes and leaned against my palm, placing his hand over mine while wrapping his arm around me.

I smiled as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Come on... Let's put him to bed so we can eat something," I said. "You must be hungry, too."

He smiled as he chuckled softly, opening his eyes. "Yeah... Come on..."

We carefully got up and headed upstairs to our bedroom where we had the crib.

I gently laid Jasper down as Nikki turned on the little animal farm mobile Heather got us and let it play the soft little nursery rhymes it played.

Jack then entered the room and sat nearby the crib, watching as we put Jasper to sleep.

We stood as we saw Jasper settle and fidget in his sleep before going still once he was comfortable.

I then looked over and Nikki before leaning closer and wrapping my arm around his torso, kissing the center  of his chest before resting my head against it.

He then wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head as we looked at our son.

"If either of us is getting out of this.... It has to be my baby..."

I let out a quiet breath as the words I told Mick that day played in my head.

I don't regret the choice I made. I was willing to give my life for my son if it ever came to it.

Honestly.... I still would....

"I have a confession to make to you..." I said in a whisper, thinking it was best I tell him.

He looked over at me. "Yeah?"

I sighed as I held onto the rails of the crib.

"When Jasper was born... Before the operation... Remember when I talked with Mick?" I asked.

He furrowed his brows, but nodded.

"I told him that.... That C-sections can lead to risks where... Where either the mother or the baby might not survive in some cases...." I explained.

He frowned as I took a deep breath and continued.

"I asked Mick to promise that... If it ever came to it... It has to be our baby who made it," I admitted.

His eyes widen in shock. "Mal...."

"I was scared and knew the chances, I told Mick it had to be our baby, I was willing to make that choice," I said quietly as he then held my shoulders in his hands.

"I am not losong you both, I would have never made that choice," he said sternly, his voice still in a whisper.

"That's why I asked Mick.... You were already scared out of your mind, Nikki, I didn't want to scare you even more," I explained. "Jasper surviving over me would have been a better bet for you and him....."

"But then Jasper would have been left without a mother," He said with a frown.

"He would have still have you," I said, my hands on his face.

He pursed his lips, looking down. "But I wouldn't have had you anymore...."

I looked at him sadly.

"Mal... I need you in my life..." I said. "Baby, I am complete shit without you, you know that..."

"Nikki...." I said softly.

"And Jasper.... Jasper needs both of us...." I said. "It can't  be me or you, we're a team here...."

I sniffled as I felt my eyes watering.

"And a life without either or both of you..... I might as well not be here either," I said.

"Babe..." I mumured as we then pulled each other into a hug, his face in my shoulders as I clung to him.

"I'm sorry for the choice I made.... I don't  regret it, though... I'd give even my life for him, and also you," I said.

He pulled back a little and smiled.

"I would, too...." he said.

We smiled as he then pulled me into his arms and lifted me off the ground.

I then felt pressure against my wound and groaned  in pain, making him quickly put me down and steady nyself

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," he said, making sure I wa ssteady. "Stitches. I forgot."

I giggled softly and felt the pain passing  a bit. "Its okay...."

We then looked over, seeing Jasper was still asleep.

"Let's  get some rest," he said, helping me to the bed. "Jack, you know the drill."

Jack panted softly as he walked over to the side of the crib, peering in and wagging his tail quietly as he watched Jasper sleep.

I smiled as Nikki helped lie me down in bed, tucking me in before going around and laying down next to me, carefully holding me close to him as we got comfortable.

I looked up as he took his glasses off and put them on the nightstand.

"Nikki..." I asked.

"Hmm?" he asked.

"I know it sounds scary, but... Do you think maybe.... Maybe one day we'll be able to have more kids?" I asked. "Not now, of course."

He pouted his lip as he thought about it a bit.

"I would like to have more kids.... But we gotta be careful if we do ever plan to have kids again...." he said.

I nodded, knowing he was right.

"You're right.... I hope next time we as lucky as we are now, though , and Jasper get to have a little brother or sister," I said.

He scoffed. "A brother... I'll go ape shit if I ever have a daughter, I told you. No one's messing with my little girl," he murmured sternly, making me giggle and pull him closer into a hug. "No dating, ever, and she can wear those turtlenecks, too, even to prom."

I couldn't  help but laugh quietly at him, softly smacking his thigh as he smirked playfully at me, burying his face into my shoulder as he hugged me close.

"Nikki Sixx, if we do ever have a daughter, you better take it easy on the poor girl," I said. "You and the boys especially. "

"Hmph," he pouted, pulling me close to him.

"I love your crazy ass," I said.

"I love you, too," he said, kissing my cheek as we curled closer and soon we were asleep.

Life is so good right now...

~~~~~

Yay, finally got a chapter up! 🌻

Still working on drafting and stuff, but managed to complete this chapter so I decided to just publish it for you guys. I do plan to end this at 100 chapters, so fingers crossed that I'm somehow able to! 🤞🏻

Next chapter might be a bit of a time skip, but we'll see. 🤷🏻‍♀️

🎹 Currently in Sapph's playlist:

Stromae "Alors on Danse"
(Translation: Then We Dance)

♡~ sapphire.