Aries: Throws on a pair of 16746284D glasses and throws legs over Cancer

Taurus: On the ceiling like a sloth watching from above

Gemini: *Popcorn box magically appears in hand* I'm usually in the middle of it all...

Cancer: Whacks Aries for invading personal space then sees Aries' puppy dog eyes and dies

Leo: Shines like Jesus Christ with a halo on top of head and stands on a podium, accepting award for doing nothing

Virgo: Lectures Scorpio about their... love for being evil by laughing evilly and rubbing hands together

Libra: Wheels in a buffet and says "just robbed the fuck out of our local food store, first to rat me out gets backhanded by a sumo wrestler"

Scorpio: Laughs evilly while rubbing hands together

Sagittarius: Smack dead asleep with a bottle of Jack Daniels in hand slouched over Pisces

Capricorn: Creates the drama and then sits back and watches masterpiece unfold

Aquarius: Sits with Capricorn and approves of Capricorn's masterpiece while plotting to bow and arrow their shit out

Pisces: Smiles innocently chopping off Sagittarius' hair in chunks paying -468384 attention to drama