⇢ six - pushing people away ⇠

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ELLIE HAD SPENT THE NIGHT AT HER PARENTS HOUSE, SPENDING SOME time with her mom and siblings before her father's funeral. The blonde woke up the following morning, feeling numb as she tried to force herself to get ready for the funeral.

The eldest Kazansky daughter stood in front of her mirror, buttoning up her white Navy uniform. Ellie sighed, raising her hands to pull her hair back into a bun, but she let out a deep breath, sudden tears filling her eyes as she sat down on the bed.

Ellie couldn't do this. The blonde felt the tears streaming down her face as she doubled over, her body racking with sobs she tried to keep in.

Her mother came to check on her, entering the bedroom, seeing her daughter hunched over and her body shaking. She sighed and approached Ellie, crouching down in front of her, placing her hand on her face.

Ellie felt her mother's soft hand, leaning into her touch as she looked up at her. Her mom pulled her in for a tight hug, holding back her own sobs as she held her daughter close.

"I- I didn't get to say goodbye, momma," Ellie sobbed, wrapping her arms around her mother. "I- I wasn't here."

"I know, sweetie, it's okay," her mother replied softly, but Ellie could hear her voice break. "Come on, let's finish getting you ready."

Ellie nodded and pulled away from the hug, wiping her nose as she got back to her feet. Her mother stood behind her, gently pulling her hair back into a bun. The blonde's eyes landed on herself in the mirror before she looked at her mother, who only smiled sadly and ran her hands up and down her arms to try to comfort her.

They soon made it to the cemetery and Ellie walked with her brother and sister, following after their mother. Everyone was already there waiting for them and Ellie's eyes landed on her team, giving them each a weak smile as she walked past them.

Ellie stood silently by her mother as they began to play Taps on the trumpet. The blonde felt the tears in her eyes as they landed on her father's casket and she immediately had to look away, covering her mouth to suppress a sob.

Cyclone walked up to them, carrying an American flag. He folded it as Ellie heard the guns going off before he handed it to Ellie's mother and saluted.

Cyclone then stood in front of Ellie, his eyes landing on her as a sympathetic expression crossed his face. Ellie only nodded and gave him a small smile, her eyes gazing over to where Maverick was standing.

Maverick walked up to the casket, placing her father's wings on top. Then he clenched his hands into a fist, slamming it on the wings, engraving them into the casket before he saluted, tears falling down his face.

Ellie's bottom lip trembled, feeling a familiar pair of eyes on her. She already knew who it was, but she couldn't bring herself to look at him.

After the funeral, Ellie stood alone for a while. The blonde couldn't believe this was happening, why couldn't she have been there to say goodbye to her father.

She was quickly snapped out of her thoughts when she heard footsteps approaching, so she turned and saw a few of her team members walking up to her.

Natasha was the first to hug her. "I'm so sorry, El."

Ellie nodded and hugged her back. "Thank you."

In all honesty, as much as she loved her team, she really wanted to be left alone. She didn't want to hug or be around anyone at the moment, but she kept quiet.

Bob, Daniel, and Coyote were the next ones to hug her, holding her tightly in their arms. Ellie forced a smile before she quickly pulled away from the hug, she didn't mean to, but all three understood and didn't take it to heart.

Jake then walked up to her, but he stood there for a moment, trying to find the right words to say. Ellie wanted to laugh at how lost at thought he looked, knowing that was definitely a first for him, but she kept her face straight.

So all that Jake did was pull her in for a tight hug. Ellie was surprised at the sudden contact, knowing he never was the one to hug people, so she hugged him back. Tears filled her eyes once more, feeling Jake's hand gently rubbing up and down her back.

They both pulled away and Jake left, walking after the others and leaving her alone with Bradley. As much as Ellie loved Bradley, she didn't want to be with him right now. She already had enough with the interactions with the others.

Bradley noticed her demeanor towards him and he understood better than anyone. He remembered how he acted towards Ellie when his mother died. So all that he did was walk up to her, press a quick kiss to her head and then walked away.

It had been hours since her dad's funeral and Ellie sat alone at the bar in the Hard Deck. She held her phone in her hands, seeing all the missed calls she had from her mother and siblings.

The blonde groaned quietly and placed her phone face-down on the bar, running her hands over her face. This always happened when Ellie lost someone, she would always push people away. It was a pretty bad habit of hers, but she couldn't help it. Ellie had done it since she was little and it grew with her.

Penny walked up to her on the other side of the bar. "Ellie?"

The blonde refrained herself from rolling her eyes, she just wanted to be left alone. "Yeah?"

"You want anything?" Penny asked.

It was almost like Penny knew what she needed. Ellie finally managed a small smile as she nodded. "A shot of tequila, please."

Penny nodded. "Coming right up."

Ellie gave her another smile and Penny quickly poured her a shot before sliding it over to her. The blonde grabbed it and raised it to her lips, throwing her head back as the alcohol entered her mouth.

Ellie's face scrunched up as she coughed, the tequila burning as it traveled down her throat. The blonde let out a quiet whoo and slid the glass back over to Penny, who took it and filled her another shot.

Then Ellie heard footsteps, "Ellie."

It was Maverick. The blonde turned in her chair, sending him a small smile as he joined her at the bar. "You here to reprimand me for drinking?"

"No," Maverick replied. "I'm here to drink, too."

Ellie hummed and nodded, taking the shot from Penny's hand and throwing her head back, drinking the liquid.

Maverick took a beer bottle from Penny, his eyes landing on Ellie again. "How are you holding up?"

"Well, this is one way," Ellie replied, gesturing toward the shot glass. "But other than that, not the best."

"Your mother's worried about you," Maverick told her.

"When is she not worried about me?" Ellie asked.

"Ellie," Maverick warned.

"Sorry, I know," Ellie sighed. "I'll call her back later."

Maverick nodded. "Good."

"You know, Cyclone's probably gonna ground us both from the mission," Ellie pointed out.

"You gonna let him do that to you?" Maverick asked, but he felt like he already knew the answer to that question.

Ellie shook her head. "No, dad would still want me to do this mission. So I'm gonna do it... for him."

"That's good, Ellie," Maverick nodded. "But listen, if you do need to talk or anything like that, I'm here for you. Don't hesitate to call me."

"You don't need to worry about me or protect me now that he's gone," Ellie replied sharply without meaning to, she didn't even know where that came from. "I'm not your kid, Mav."

"I know," Maverick replied. "I just wanted to let you know."

Ellie felt bad, she didn't mean to snap at Maverick, but that was another bad habit of hers whenever she was sad or upset. Maverick stood from his seat, placing money on the table for Penny before he looked at Ellie again.

He moved closer to her, placing his hand on the back of her head before he pressed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. Ellie looked up at him, smiling softly as he left the bar.

Ellie sat at the bar alone for quite a while, she had taken a break from the shots for a moment when she heard more footsteps approaching.

"Now what's a pretty lady like you doing here alone at the bar?" a man asked as he walked up to her.

Ellie glanced over at him, he was an older man, who was not attractive in the slightest. "Just clearing my head, sir."

"Oh, please, don't call me sir," he replied as he took a seat next to her.

"Listen, you seem like a kind man and all, but I really want to be alone right now," Ellie told him.

"Oh, come on now, don't be like that," the man said. "Why don't you come on home with me?"

Ellie rolled her eyes. "No, thanks."

The man chuckled. "Come on, how long since it's been?"

Ellie scoffed as she looked at him. "Excuse me?"

"We could have so much fun," the man kept trying.

"No," Ellie replied firmly. "Now leave me alone."

The man suddenly grabbed her wrist and she snapped her head toward him, trying to shake herself free. Suddenly, someone had clapped their hand on the man's shoulder.

"I think she told you to leave her alone."

Ellie had never felt such relief hearing Bradley's voice. The blonde's eyes landed on him, smiling softly as he came to her defense.

"And who the hell are you?" the man asked.

Bradley smirked. "Her boyfriend."

Ellie almost choked on her own spit when she heard his answer, but she quickly composed herself and her eyes landed on the man before she sent him a smug smile.

"Well, maybe she's here to just get away from you," the man said.

Bradley's grip tightened on the man's shoulder, pulling him out of the seat before he shoved him away. "Get out."

The man scoffed and backed off, not really wanting to fight someone twice his size as he turned on his heel and made his way toward the door. Ellie just chuckled to herself, turning back in her seat as Bradley sat in the chair next to hers.

"Thank you for that," Ellie said.

"No problem," Bradley replied.

"How'd you know I was here?" Ellie asked.

"Maverick," Bradley replied. "I was looking all over for you. I even called you multiple times."

Ellie nodded and lifted her phone from the bar, showing that it was turned off. Bradley sighed and nodded, placing his arms on the bar and leaning forward.

"What were you and Mav arguing about before I came in the room yesterday?" Ellie asked, looking back at him.

"We weren't arguing," Bradley replied.

Ellie raised a brow. "Stop lying. I heard you yelling at him."

Bradley sighed. "I figured out why he pulled my papers."

"Why?" Ellie asked.

"He said that I wasn't ready," Bradley answered.

Ellie sucked her teeth, nodding slightly as she met Bradley's eyes. "Do you believe that you're ready?"

Bradley looked away and stayed silent for a moment. "I don't know."

Ellie let out a breath, hoping she wasn't about to say the wrong words. "Are you upset with him because you think he's right?"

Bradley didn't respond as he looked down and Ellie nodded at his silence, believing she had her answer.

Penny then slid over another shot and Ellie grabbed it, throwing her head back as the alcohol entered her mouth. The blonde coughed slightly, wiping her lips as she looked back over at Bradley.

"How many have you had?" Bradley asked.

"Three," Ellie replied, she could already feel herself getting a bit tipsy.

"Damn, you should slow down," Bradley chuckled as he took the shot glass from her.

"No, Brad," Ellie whined, dragging out his name as she tried reaching for it.

"Just for a while, Ells," Bradley reassured her.

Ellie fake pouted and crossed her arms. "Fine."

After about three or four more shots, Ellie was now fully drunk. Bradley only had a beer, knowing he had to be sober so he could take her home.

This was one of the only ways Ellie could get her mind off of things. And after the last couple of days she's had, the blonde felt like she deserved it.

Ellie suddenly stood from her chair and Bradley had to reach over and grab her arms to keep her from falling. He got to his feet, keeping his arms around her.

"I wanna dance," Ellie slurred, pulling on Bradley's arm.

"Are you sure you can dance like this?" Bradley asked.

"Of course, I can," Ellie laughed and then hiccuped, pulling him into the open space.

"You really sure?" Bradley asked again. "I don't want you slipping and falling on your ass."

"Bradley, just shut up and dance with me," Ellie smiled.

Bradley smiled back at her, tightly holding onto her. Ellie pressed her body against his, keeping herself steady as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer began to play on the jukebox and Ellie immediately smiled. "I love this song."

"You always have," Bradley replied, his hands firmly on her waist as they slowly began to dance.

Ellie smiled softly at him, her eyes staring into his. She had never felt so vulnerable like this in front of him, but she liked it for some reason. A sudden wave of confidence came over her and she began to lean toward him. She knew if she hadn't been this drunk, she definitely wouldn't be doing this.

Ellie's lips parted as she got closer to his face, her arms tightening slightly around his neck as he leaned closer to her. Their faces were now inches away from each others, both of them waiting for the other to make the next move.

The blonde had begun to get impatient, so she quickly pressed her lips to his. Ellie felt a weird sensation throughout her body, almost like fireworks were being set off. She had waited so long to kiss him, it felt almost... Fearless.

      Bradley knew he shouldn't be kissing her when she was like this, but he kissed her back nonetheless, absolutely enjoying the way their lips moved together in sync. He tasted the tequila that was left on her lips, then he rested his hand on her face.

      But he knew he had to stop this before it was taken a step further. Bradley would never take advantage of her when she was as drunk as she was.

      He slowly pulled away from the kiss and Ellie did the same, her eyes slowly opening up as she looked at him. She smiled softly, resting her head on his chest as they continued to slow dance.

      Bradley had waited for so long to finally kiss her, but he had wished they kissed under better circumstances. He was pretty sure Ellie didn't actually want to kiss him and she only did because of the alcohol that was in her system. That made him a little upset and disappointed, but he didn't show it.

      Bradley has his arm firmly wrapped around Ellie's waist as he helped her walk to his car. The blonde didn't want to keep walking, she was tired and just wanted to sleep. If she was allowed to, she would be dropped to the ground right then and there to sleep.

      "Okay, one last step," Bradley said as they made it down the stairs of the bar.

      Ellie groaned and whined, "Why can't I just sleep?"

      "You'll be able to when we get to my place, okay?" Bradley reassured her.

      Once they made it to his car, Bradley opened the back door and helped Ellie into the backseat. The blonde groaned quietly and flopped onto her back, sleepiness starting to take over as Bradley got into the driver's seat and began to drive to his place.

      As he pulled into the driveway, Ellie woke up and shot up in the seat, a wave of nausea hitting her. After Bradley had unlocked the door to his house, he came back and got Ellie out of the car.

      The blonde rushed past him and into his house, running towards the bathroom. Bradley quickly followed after her, grabbing her hair and holding it back as she began to throw up into the toilet.

      Bradley had his other hand on Ellie's back, gently rubbing small circles with his thumb as she finished up. The blonde groaned, flushing the toilet as she sat down against the wall.

      She had only sobered up a little bit and she held her head in her hands. "Never, ever, ever, ever let me drink again."

      Bradley chuckled. "I cannot make that promise."

      Ellie scoffed playfully and lifted her head, her eyes landing on Bradley, who was sitting across from her. "Thank you."

      "For what?" Bradley asked.

      "For tonight," Ellie replied. "I just had to get my mind off of everything."

      "You're welcome," Bradley smiled. "We all deserve a break every once in a while."

      Ellie nodded her head in agreement, her face scrunching up as the vomit taste landed on her tastebuds. "You have a toothbrush I can borrow?"

      "Yeah," Bradley replied as he got to his feet. "In the third drawer. I'll bring you an extra pair of clothes, too."

      "Thanks," Ellie replied, slowly getting to her feet.

      She wobbled a little bit, but she was able to steady herself as she leaned against the counter and pulled the drawer open, grabbing one of Bradley's extra toothbrushes.

      Bradley returned with a shirt and a pair of sweatpants, handing them to her and shutting the bathroom door to give her her privacy.

      Ellie quickly brushed her teeth and changed, leaving the bathroom and seeing Bradley lying in his bed on his phone. The blonde made to leave, but his voice stopped her.

      "Where are you going?"

      "The guest bedroom," Ellie replied. "I didn't know if you were comfortable sharing a bed."

      "It's fine," Bradley said as he tapped the space next to him. "Come on."

      Ellie nodded and made her way to his bed, climbing into it and covering herself with the blanket. The blonde knew she was still a little bit tipsy with the remaining alcohol in her blood, so she kept her distance.

      What she didn't expect was Bradley wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him. Ellie's breath hitched in her throat as she slightly turned her head, quickly noticing how close his face was to hers.

      "Goodnight, Ellie," Bradley spoke low, but soft.

      Ellie smiled softly. "Goodnight, Bradley.