"Dr. Phoenix, what can you tell me about reconstructive neuro floor?"

The corners of my vision darken ever so slightly, and I feel the muscles in my legs grow weak with every passing second.

"Dr. Phoenix?"

"Huh?"

Mark Sloan stands in front of the group of interns, along with the chief. "What can you tell me about reconstructive neuro floor?"

"Harvest bone from the skull, and you can create a new base for the eye socket." I blurt out mechanically, so to speak.

"Dr. Bailey. . .Dr. Phoenix will be scrubbing in on the Jane Doe case." The plastics surgeon announces to her. "Come on. I'll show you how to do it without breaking the bone graft into a million pieces."

"Congratulations, Dr. Phoenix."

Chief Webber wishes me with a sickening sympathetic smile, most likely pitying me after the month I've had.

I stand by Jane Doe's bed while Alex remains on her other side. She flips through the three pictures of computer-animated faces, deciding which to choose for her permanent look.

"Have you chosen a face?"

"Not yet." She shakes her head softly. "I was hoping I'd see one of them and. . .I don't know, recognize myself or something, but. . .I don't recognize any of these women."

Her gaze almost instinctively shifts to Alex.

"What if I choose the wrong one? What if my husband or boyfriend or-or whoever's baby this is shows up tomorrow with a picture of what I'm supposed to look like, but it's too late? I'll be stuck with the wrong face for the rest of my life."

Alex lifts up the bedside mirror. "That would suck, but if you don't pick one. . .this is gonna be your face the rest of your life."

I isolate myself in the room behind the nurses' station, reading through article after article about the surgery.

But someone else's presence disrupts my thought process.

"Derek, I know you're watching me."

"And hello to you, too."

The head of neurosurgery steps into the room, a tired smile on his face as he lets his hands rest on my shoulders.

"Don't you think you should be preparing for your board interview instead of stalking your girlfriend?" I mumble into the back of my hand.

"I am." His nose tickles the arch of my ear as he breathes deeply. "How are you feeling today? Any sort of pain?"

"I'm absolutely fine." I assure him for what feels like the fifth time this morning.

He extends his arms to either side of me. "Calvarium bone harvest?"

"Yeah, Sloan's letting me do one on his Jane Doe." My neck and head lean into his touch. "I'm sure I'm gonna feel a lot better afterwards."

"Sloan's gonna let you do a harvest? By yourself?"

"All by myself. Which is why I need to go back to studying."

"Alright, alright, I'll stop distracting you."

Derek leaves with a few pecks to the sides of my head and neck, his fingers brushing through some strands of my hair.

After reading through the procedure numerous times, I move to an empty lab room to practice on dummies.

"Hey, what do you think of a robotics lab as a goal for the hospital?"

"I think it's a good idea, actually."

"You're harvesting." He glances down at the mannequin head. "Looks good."

My chin tilts up at the surprising compliment. "You really think so?"

"Mm-hmm. But you don't have to do it, you know. I talk to Mark and —"

"Woah, woah, woah. You talked to Mark?"

"Yes, I talked to Mark." Derek sets aside the file tucked under his arm. "Lev, this is a complex procedure."

"You just said it looks good."

"I know I did, but when has Mark Sloan allowed his interns to do anything? Let alone harvest a bone graft by themselves?"

"Well, he's trying to prove he's worthy to be chief by teaching."

"By teaching you. You almost died, so the chief is going to be watching you very closely. Mark is gaining points by —"

"Using the girl who's one step closer to dying."

"If it goes well, he gets the credit." Red flushes his puffed cheeks. "But if it goes poorly. . .he gets the save."

"And you're using me to one-up your ex-best friend." A scoff slips from my parted lips.

He furrows his brows. "I want to protect you, Leven."

I force myself to look away. "Don't let the door hit your arrogant ass on the way out."

Meredith and Cristina pick up lunch for themselves and me before visiting me in the lab room. I continue to practice the bone graft while we talk.

Soon, it's time for Jane Doe's surgery. Alex's already in the O.R. with her while Mark and I scrub in together.

"Have you been practicing?" He ties the knot to the lower strap of his mask. "The chief will be watching today, you know."

"Sure yeah."

"Sure, what?"

"Dr. Sloan, I don't like being used, you know. Especially at what some may say is my weakest point." My lips tighten.

"What, did Derek say I'm using you?" He questions rather sarcastically. "You do this procedure, and you do it well. . .everyone's going to start looking at you like a surgeon again."

"You know, I expected more from you." I toss the sponge into the bin below. "Derek isn't the one who knows you're a good person with an honest heart."

"Well, it looks like you're the only one who thinks that."

"Don't make me regret it."

A crowd of doctors — including the chief, my friends, and Derek — watch from the overhead gallery. Alex monitors the baby, Mark stands next to me. . .and I prepare for the bone graft.

"Ready?"

"Hammer and osteotome."

"Use the curved osteotome to gently elevate the external table."

"I got it."

Calm and collectively, I remove the piece of bone and place it into the metal bowl held by one of the scrub nurses.

"I wasn't using you, Leven."

"What else made you think I'd be able to harvest a bone graft myself?"

"People see you as Lennox's little girl. It's time they saw you as Leven Phoenix."

Back at my apartment, Derek lets himself inside with his copy of the key — something I felt necessary to give to him proceeding the drowning incident.

"Are we in that awkward phase where we're not talking? Because I was thinking about ordering a pizza and didn't know if you wanted something else."

He hangs his coat up on the stand beside the door before placing his briefcase on the armchair. I move aside on the couch, crossing my legs together.

"Pizza's good." The attending slips out of his button down and sits next to me, immediately pulling me into his chest. "You. . .were amazing today."

"A part of me wants to believe Mark was using me. . .but he might have been genuine with his actions." My warm breath brushes against the crook of his neck.

"So you think he's a good person?"

"I really do, yeah."

He strokes the top of my head soothingly. "You always see the good in people. Even when they don't deserve it."

"How did your interview go?" I look up at him.

"Not great. . .it wasn't great." He tilts his head to the side, leaning against me. "I was distracted the entire day."

"I'm sure you did better than you think."

"Always looking at the bright side, aren't you?"

"Aren't you glad you have a cheesy, optimistic girlfriend?"

"Speaking of cheesy. . ."

"Pizza's on the way."