I... genuinely hate my own nationality. I recently watched Emirichu's Asian/American identity crisis video and after finishing it I kind of realised what was going on in my head.

I know this is probably going to sound stupid, but to me, all being American means is that I get to hate myself a little more every time I learn some new awful thing Americans have done. Which is fairly often because we're basically a society of angry raccoons living in a dumpster fire.

Even though people are really nice to me and will probably tell me not to worry about it if I bring this up, I don't feel like I deserve it, if that makes sense. Because I'm still American. Because Americans are awful and in my mind that makes me awful just by association. So why should anyone be nice to me in the first place?

Believe me, I've tried to shake this mentality too because I know it isn't healthy. But I've told myself I'm a nice person who shouldn't worry about things people with basically no relation to me as far as I know did over a hundred times and never believed it once. Other people have told me the same thing and I still never believed it then either.

I don't hear it.

I truly believe with every fibre of my being that my nationality makes me a terrible human being. And I'm still trying, I still attempt to be a nice person to basically everyone I interact with. But I can't shake that parasitic feeling of self-loathing and I don't know if I ever will.

So take this as a little PSA from me to everyone who takes the time to read this:

Don't be racist, sexist, or whatever.

Be kind to others unconditionally, and be kind to the environment.

Be a society your descendants can look back on and be proud of originating from.

Don't let future generations end up like me. Because we probably don't need more living blobs of anxiety and self-loathing.

We need more people who have the passion and motivation to be the change they wish to see in the world.