Sam's room was half empty. Maddie had been over there a lot since the sleepover at Kate's the week before and it seemed Sam's parents' divorce was a lot more imminent than she'd let on, and her mother was currently in the process of moving Sam to Sunnyvale.

The blonde girl was currently folding clothes on her bed, packing them into a box, while Maddie lied face down on the carpeted floor. "You know, Maddie. While I appreciate the company, you know you can't hang out here forever,"

"Of course not," Maddie rolled onto her back. "I have a shift in twenty minutes. Speaking of which, can I get a ride?"

Sam finished with a pair of jeans, dumping them in the box. "Sure. It'll give me time away from my mom talking about how this will be a 'fresh start from people who are confusing me,'"

It was no secret that Sam's mother didn't approve of her relationship with Deena in the slightest. She made Sam feel like crap about it a lot. Sam put her shoes on and the two girls went downstairs to where Ms. Frasier was packing pots and pans into a box. "Hey, Mom. Can we borrow the car for a bit?"

Sam's mother looked up, examining Maddie. Maddie knew that Ms. Frasier was at least a little suspicious the two of them were together, but eventually nodded. "Be back before five,"

Sam kissed her mom on the cheek and grabbed the keys off the counter, the two girls retreating outside until they were safely on their way to Shadyside mall. "Your mom scares me," Maddie shuddered.

"She scares me," Sam admitted. "We don't even have to move, I don't get it. Dad's gone, I don't see why we can't stay here,"

"I know," Maddie said, understanding. "At least you're only half an hour away, we can still hang out,"

"If you and Simon get over yourselves and finally make out," Sam rolled her eyes. "Seriously, you left a sock at Kate's house and me and Simon were there yesterday and he couldn't stop staring at it like if he looked hard enough, you would appear,"

Maddie bit her lip, looking out the window as the houses went by. "I don't think I can face him. I mean, who the fuck does that? I had a panic attack in front of him, kissed him and then all but threw him out of my house,"

"Well, when you put it like that," Sam turned into the parking lot. "But trust me, Simon likes you. If you just talked to him, sounds crazy, I know, maybe the two of you would be able to get over this fight,"

"We're not fighting," Maddie argued as Sam pulled into a parking spot. It was nearly noon, the sun high over them as Maddie took off her sweater. The outside heat was a stark contrast to the air conditioning of Sam's car. Sam was pretty much planning on hanging out with Maddie until her shift ended at four, the two girls going into the mall. "We're just not exactly talking. You and Deena are fighting,"

Sam pushed Maddie as they walked. Maddie made sure she did everything she needed to, but she stopped when she went for her badge. "Shit. I left my name tag on my sweater in your car,"

"I'll run back and grab it for you," Sam offered. Maddie shot her a grateful look as she sat down at the counter. For a noon on a Wednesday, the mall was fairly populated. It was mostly teens and kids, relishing in their free time for the last month before school started again.

But none of those people would be buying flowers, so she figured it would be pretty quiet, leaving her a lot of time to sort out and her and Sam's respective drama.

Sam was right. She and Simon were sort of fighting. They hadn't spoken since the kiss almost three weeks ago, and their friends were sick of it. Maddie didn't know what she should say to him. "Sorry I kissed you then kicked you out of my house," didn't really seem to cut it.

"Hey, loser," Maddie spun around slowly to face the front of the store. Heather was leaning against the arched frame, two slushies in her hand. "Don't you normally work closing?"

Heather and Maddie were friendly acquaintances. They would sometimes go to parties together, and after Maddie got the job at at mall, sometimes they would hang out before or after their shifts, Heather working at B. Dalton's, the bookstore across from the florist. "Usually," she agreed. "Though my dad moved out and my brothers started working the day shift again so there needs to be someone there weekday evenings to look after my siblings,"

"Holy shit are everyone's parents getting divorced?" Heather rolled her eyes. "My dad moved out yesterday too," she handed one of the slushies to Maddie. "To shitty dads,"

"To shitty dads," she tapped her drink against Heather's, taking a sip.

"What are we toasting to?"

No. Literally the one person Maddie didn't want to talk to. Simon Kalivoda was standing there, hands shoved into his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels awkwardly. "Nothing," Maddie shook her head.

Heather looked between the two of them, trying to gauge the situation. "Well, I'm gonna go. But I'll see you later, Maddie?"

Maddie nodded as Heather left, leaving her and Simon alone. Hurry up, Sam, Maddie urged. Simon avoided eye contact. "I'm sorry,"

The straw fell out of her mouth, rolling around the cup for a second before slowing to a stop. "Why... why are you sorry?"

"Because I completely crossed the line," he said, regret shining in his eyes. "You were upset and I took advantage of you, and I'm a shitty person, but you mean a whole lot to me, Mads. I'm so sorry,"

Maddie let out a breath. "I'm sorry. I'm just not the best at dealing with my emotions. And I freaked out after... it happened,"

Simon waved her off. "No, it's okay. But, are we good?" he had a small hopeful smile on his face that Maddie knew she wouldn't be able to resist saying yes to. She nodded and his face broke out on that grin she missed so much. He pulled her into him, lifting her slightly, even though she was taller than him. "I'm so glad, Maddie. I've missed you,"

"I've missed you too, Simon,"

They both had a whole lot they wanted to say to each other, but neither knew where the line was. Being with Simon was like taking a pair of glasses off. When he wasn't there, she knew exactly what she wanted from him, what she wanted to say to him, what she was comfortable with. But the moment he stepped into the room, everything became blurry and she could t make sense of it. She did know that she needed to do something though. "I'll try,"

"Try what?" Simon asked, not being able to take his eyes off her. He'd spent pretty much every waking moment thinking about her since the kiss, not wanting the taste of her watermelon chapstick to ever fade, missing her so much more once it had.

"I'll try to be more open with you," she said. "It's not fair that we're doing what we do and I decide when we stop. That the second I feel like we're getting too serious, I end it," she reached out and took his hand, him threading his fingers in with hers. "Because while, yeah, we sleep together. You're my friend, Simon. And friends are honest with each other,"

Simon smiled. "There is nothing you could ever say that would make me leave you,"

Maddie flushed, squeezing his hand. Simon squeezed back, and of course Sam decided that was the moment she should return. "Hey, sorry," she handed Maddie her name tag, that she clipped onto the front of her top. "Hey, Simon,"

"I should get going," Simon smiled at her and Sam before turning and walking down the hallway, doing a little skip that neither girl saw as he turned the corner. He'd gotten his girl back.

"So... holding hands?" Sam smirked.

"So... you and Deena?" Maddie asked innocently taking a sip of her slushie. Sam's smile dropped and she shuffled her feet. "Hey, Sam. You okay?"

"Is it bad I'm..." she bit her lip. Maddie saw tears pooling in her eyes and put her drink on a shelf behind her, pulling Sam into a hug. "I'm kind of relieved I'm moving,"

Maddie pulled away just enough to be able to see Sam's face, her eyes were rimmed with red and a few tears had managed to slip down her cheeks. "Why's that?"

Sam choked down a sob and Maddie pulled her closer. She held the blonde girl close, Sam shaking in her arms. "I love Deena. And, I mean, I shouldn't, right?"

Maddie stroked her hair, closing her head eyes as she squeezed her friend. "Why not?"

"Because... she's a girl," Sam sounded uncertain, like when you try to convince a child that you're a mermaid. She looked like she knew it was fake, but almost like she wanted to believe it anyway. "My mom says it's wrong. That Deena got in my head and confused me,"

"Sam," Maddie said sternly, making sure Sam was looking directly in her eyes. "There is nothing wrong with you loving Deena,"

Sam averted her eyes. "I just think that maybe Sunnyvale could be good for me. I'll join their cheer squad, maybe get a... boyfriend. Find friends who aren't doing drugs,"

Maddie pulled away. "We don't do them. We sell them. To get out of this shitty town. Because, Sam, sometimes when your parents get divorced, you don't get the option to go live in a fancy new house with a fancy new life," Hurt flashed in Sam's eyes. "Some of us, we'll have to stay here unless we get ourselves out,"

She walked away into the backroom of the store, leaving Sam standing near the doorway. She didn't mean it. She loved Maddie, just like she loved Deena and Simon and Kate. But they wouldn't be the ones she'd be living with until she went to college. Her mom was.

And if she didn't want her life to be a living hell for the next few years, she had to leave Shadyside behind. And everyone she loved with it.

────────── ⋆˚✿˖° author's note
okay. the thing is. 🧍‍♀️do i agree w how sam handled her move to sunnyvale? no. would i do the exact same thing? yes, so truly who am i to judge

also the people saying deena is annoying are the same people who are like "give us more complex female characters!!!1!!1!" like bestie you got one, her name is deena johnson. you did not appreciate her. #justicefordeena don't worry i understand her <3333