TW // attempted self-harm!

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You and your friends were on the train back to Hogwarts. You were sitting beside the window, staring outside with your chin rested on your palm.

Harry, who was beside you, was looking down at the floor, Hermione was reading a newspaper while Ron was reading a book. You glanced at the newspaper she was reading and there you found a picture of your father and your family's picture. You sighed and looked back at the view.

Hermione was glancing at you worriedly and you didn't notice. You were too busy. You were looking outside but it felt like you were looking at the place where your father died.

That event kept replaying and replaying on your mind.

"Anything from the trolley?" You heard the Trolley witch asked. Harry and Ron quickly stood up and purchased their candies. Hermione sighed and sat down beside you, taking Harry's seat. "Are you alright?"

You didn't want to talk. You were afraid that if you utter a word, you would break down into tears. For weeks you have been crying and you were tired. But you still wanted to let it out.

You shrugged and looked at her while giving her a fake smile. "I'm... fine." You managed to say. Sometimes you feel numb, angry, or down. You've never left your room after the incident. Your mum tried to talk to you, even your sister did, but you remained quiet.

Hermione noticed you so she changed the subject as Harry and Ron sat back to their seats. "This is horrible! How can the Ministry not know who conjured it? Wasn't there any security...?" She asked in frustration, referring to the mayhem at the World Cup and the Dark Mark.

"Loads, according to Dad," Ron spoke up. "That's what worries them so much. It happened right under their noses."

You looked at Harry who was scratching his scar. "It's hurting again, isn't it?" You asked with no emotion, too tired to give one. Harry looked at you confusingly. "Your scar."

"I'm fine." Harry smiled.

Hermione leaned closer to Harry with a serious face while you tied your hair into a ponytail. "You know Sirius will want to hear about this. What you saw at the World Cup and the dream? You have to tell him."

You didn't bother to ask them what his dream was about because they already told you about it earlier.

Harry started writing a letter to Sirius. After placing his godfather's name, he let Hedwig flew to find Sirius with the letter he made.

Harry sighed and looked at you but your eyes are on the window. "Lots of people came to the funeral." He spoke causing you to look at him. "(Y/n), I really am sorry for your father."

"It's fine Harry." You smiled, fake again. "You guys attended and it was fine."

"Was it the Killing Curse that killed your father?" Ron asked.

You nodded and felt the urge to cry again but you controlled yourself. You clenched your fist and took a deep trembling breath. "I..." You shut your eyes closed and finally tears flow down. "It should have been me. I really miss him."

Hermione pulled you to her arms and hugged you while you sobbed on her chest.

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"Well, now that we're all settled in and sorted, I'd like to make an announcement," Dumbledore spoke until Filch came out running towards Dumbledore. Students looked at him weirdly and some snickered on the way he runs.

"This castle will not only be your home this year but home to some very special guests as well. You see, Hogwarts has been chosen--" Dumbledore was stopped when Filch whispered something to him.

Some students snickered, mostly the first-year students. "Tell them to wait," Dumbledore whispered back causing Filch to ran back to the door.

"So," Dumbledore continued his speech. "Hogwarts has been chosen to host a legendary event: The Triwizard Tournament."

Fred and George glanced at each other. "Brilliant."

"For those of you who do not know, the Triwizard Tournament brings together three schools for a series of magical contests. From each school, a single student is selected to compete. Now let me be clear. If chosen, you stand alone. And trust me when I say, these contests are not for the faint-hearted. But more of that later."

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "For now, please join me in welcoming the lovely ladies of the Beauxbatons Academy of Magic and their headmistress, Madam Maxime!"

All students' attention was caught by the ladies from Beauxbatons as they sway their hips. Boys started to stare at them while girls rolled their eyes.

You looked at Draco Malfoy who was staring at you instead of the girls. You blinked in surprise and gave him a small smile before looking back at the girls.

"Bloody hell." Ron muttered.

Then the girls showed butterflies as they sighed. Megan leaned close to Luna and smiled. "It looks like they farted butterflies."

"Blimey!" Seamus whispered to Ron. "That's one big woman!" He whispered as the headmistress walked.

Once the girls were done, everyone clapped and the boys started whistling. You looked quietly clapped as you looked down while Draco looked at your worriedly.

"And now our friends from the North! Please greet the product sons of Durmstrang Institute and their high master, Igor Karkaroff!" Dumbledore introduced.

Durmstrang boys started marching and performing. Girls started swooning and staring while you just sighed and looked down at your hands, looking at the bracelet that Draco gave you in your first year. Draco's eyes observed the Durmstrang boys, checking the students who were looking or glancing at you.

"Blimey, it's him! It's Viktor Krum!" Ron exclaimed. Hermione looked up to see Viktor and you glanced up in curiosity.

After those performances, Dumbledore has announced everyone to eat. You wanted to eat but you didn't feel like you're hungry so you just played with your food with your fork. You looked at Hagrid who accidentally stabbed Professor Flictwick's hand with a fork. Flitwick removed the fork and slapped Hagrid's arm. "You idiot!" You heard him exclaimed.

You watched as men and Filch started placing something on the front. Dumbledore stepped forward once again. "Your attention, please!" Dumbledore yelled causing the students to be quiet. "I'd like to say a few words."

He paused and placed a hand on the thing they just placed in the front. "Eternal Glory! That's what awaits the student who wins The Triwizard Tournament. But to do this, that student must survive three tasks. Three extremely dangerous tasks."

"Wicked!" You heard Fred and George whispered.

"For this reason, the Ministry has seen fit to impose a new rule. To explain all this, we have the Head of the Department of International Magical Co-operation, Mr. Bartemius Crouch."

Barty Crouch Sr. stood up until you noticed a man. You were about to ask Hermione who it was but a rumble of thunder and lightning occurred causing all students to jump in surprise and some screamed.

It started raining inside the Great Hall but the man stopped it when he pointed his wand and cast a spell. He appeared to be missing an eye and was replaced by an artificial one.

"Bloody hell!" Ron exclaimed. "It's Mad-Eye Moody!"

"Alastor Moody? The Auror?" You asked.

"Auror?" Dean asked

"Dark-wizard catcher," Ron answered. "Half the cells in Azkaban have filled thanks to him. He's supposed to be mad as a hatter, though, these days."

You stared at Moody as he looked around the Great Hall and glanced at Harry. He and Dumbledore shook hands. Moody started to drink something and you eyed him suspiciously.

"What's that he's drinking, do you suppose?" Seamus asked, glancing at Harry.

"I don't know, but I don't think it's pumpkin juice," Harry answered, still looking at Moody.

"After due consideration, the Ministry has concluded that for their own safety." Barty Crouch announced. "No student under the age of 18 shall be allowed to put forth their name for the Triwizard Tournament. This decision is final."

Students started yelling and complaining.

"That's rubbish!" Fred and George yelled.

"You don't know what you're doing!"

Dumbledore noticed the noises and stepped forward. "Silence!" He yelled.

"They're not too happy about that, then," Hermione whispered to you.

Dumbledore started to show the Goblet of Fire. "The Goblet of Fire. Anyone wishing to submit themselves to the tournament need only write their name upon a piece of parchment and throw it in the flame before this hour on Thursday night. Do not do so lightly! If chosen, there's no turning back. As from this moment, the Triwizard Tournament has begun."

Once dinner was done, students came back to their dormitories. You stopped in your tracks and tapped Hermione's shoulder. "Hey, I have to go to the lavatory."

"Do you want me to wait for you?" Hermione asked. You shook your head. "I'll be fine." Hermione hesitated at first but just nodded.

You walked away, unknowingly being spotted by a certain Slytherin boy. You finally reached Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. You entered the bathroom and heard Myrtle's bored moans could be heard. You immediately shut the door.

Sliding down the door, you finally gave in and cried. You hugged your knees and clutched your chest in pain. Myrtle heard your sobs causing her to look at you and came floating down from the ceiling to your side.

"(Y/n)?" She asked. "You're Harry's friend, right?"

You looked up to her, surprise that she could still remember you. "Hello, Myrtle."

"Are you alright?"

You shook your head and sobbed harder. "No, Myrtle. I was weak. I couldn't save him." You gasped for air as you clutched your fists around your necktie.

"Is there anything I could do to help you?" She asked worriedly.

You shook your head once again and smiled sadly at her. "No, thanks. Being alone is what I need right now."

Myrtle hesitated but sighed and nodded. She floated away and you collapsed to the ground, crawled into a corner, sobbing loudly. You took out a blade from your pocket and rolled up your sleeve. Your hands shakily leaned into your skin until you shut your eyes close and threw the blade away.

If only a snap of your fingers could bring him back to life.

Myrtle spotted the blade and gasped. She quickly looked at you and noticed that you didn't attempt to hurt yourself. You leaned your head on the wall behind you and shut your eyes, tears still flowing on your cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, dad..." You whispered, crying harder.

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09.24.2021 edit #1: previously, there was a self-harm scene but I decided to remove it because even if there is a trigger warning, some of you might still attempt to read the part and end up being triggered. Also, please don't harm yourselves. Remember that there are still people who care about you 🤍