chapter forty , Sex Fixes Everything...I Think

a/n : *CONTENT WARNING* sexual content is shown in this chapter! skip if you're uncomfortable

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Flashback.

Buck hadn't been answering Emery's calls since he got back home from the hospital. Even though she wanted to be there for every step of his recovery, she knew how exhausting it was on Buck's body and mental health.

But one thing about Emery...

When she set her mind to something, she never let it go. And her mind was dead set on Evan Buckley.

The door opens, revealing the curly-haired girl. Emery brushes past Buck and enters his place.

Buck lets out a small breath and he hangs his head low. "What are you doing here, Em?"

"I ran out of food." Emery opens the fridge and grabs the cheese and lunch meat. "And you know. Cooking is just—"

"You suck at it."

Emery raises her brows. "Yeah, basically."

"And I forget to take care of my basic needs." Emery purses her lips as she makes her sandwich. "Except for my hygiene. I always care for my hygiene."

"And apparently, you don't care for either."

Emery turns to him, with her sandwich. Buck was already staring at her, a look of annoyance across his face. He had evident eye bags that were never there. His eyes were dull, which Emery understood. He didn't feel like having anyone around him.

Emery could never take a hint though. She takes a bite out of her sandwich. "Also, I figured you and I could go for a walk."

Buck deadpans, "You're being funny."

Emery pulls her brows together. "Being funny...?" She then shifts her eyes to the cast and she raises her brows. "Ohhhhh because you're on crutches. You can still walk."

"I use crutches—"

"I know, I just said that." She shakes her head. "It's still walking!" Emery says with a mouthful of sandwich. She grabs a caprisun and shakes it, asking if she can have it. Buck motions his head, telling her to go for it.

Buck makes his way over to the girl. "Look, Emerson. I appreciate you being here. But I would really like to be alone right now."

Emery hums, "I don't care." She drinks her caprisun. "I'm staying."

"Why?"

She turns back to Buck, her brown eyes meeting his. "Simple. Because you need this."

Buck shakes his head and opens his mouth to object. Emery then holds her pointer up. "You may not want to admit it, but you do."

"Oh, and you know this because you know me so well?" Buck rolls his eyes, looking away from her. His voice was sharp. Emery finishes her caprisun. She knew that Buck was trying to push her away. He's done it with everyone, even Maddie. Which is why Emery was here now.

Let's just call Emerson the secret weapon.

Emery rounds the counter and stands in front of Buck, so he doesn't look away from her. "Yeah, I do know you." She places her hands on her hips. "I know you pretty well, Evan."

Guilt rises in Buck and his face begins to heat up.

"And I'm not just saying that because of your dick being inside me."

Buck blinks as Emery walks back into the kitchen. He should be surprised she said that. But he really wasn't. If anything, he laughed. It caused a smile to form on Emery's lips.

"So, we can either sit here and talk about our feelings. Or we could go for a walk." Emery tilts her head. "We can take our time, there's no rush."

Buck swallows the lump in his throat. "I...didn't want you to see me like this."

Emery's eyes soften and she sets her sandwich down. "Evan..." she rounds the counter once again and grabs his arm. "You actually think that you being on crutches would drive me away from you?" She softly chuckles.

"You can't get rid of me that easy." Emery gives his arm a small squeeze. "Couldn't get rid of me when I absolutely hated you. Can't get rid of me now."

Buck's chest warms, and even though Emery knew it was going to be a struggle going through each step of the healing process with Buck; she still decided to stick by him. And he couldn't stop himself from falling for her even harder.

"Okay, Emi." Buck lets out a small breath. Emery raises her brows, "Okay...?"

"Okay, let's go for a walk."

Present.

Buck hadn't shown up to her house.

Normally, he would let himself in, make himself something to eat, and they would both go on a walk and debrief about each other's weeks. But he was nowhere to be found. So, Emery was nervously pacing her apartment, thinking about the worst-case scenarios. Before she could fall off the deep end, Emery's reasonable side started talking.

Call him.

She softly hums. Emery quickly pulls out her phone after complimenting how smart she is. She presses his caller ID and places it against her ear.

Buck normally answers Emery on the third ring, but this time it was the fifth. Something was definitely wrong.

"Hello?"

"You're avoiding me."

A small chuckle comes from Buck, "That's not true, Emi."

Emery tilts her head. "Then why aren't you here right now?"

"Here? Like your house?"

Emery makes a small 'mmhmm'.

"Well, I'm eating cereal, right now. I didn't think I had to come over for that."

"Our walks?" Emery tries to jog his memory.

Buck blinks, "Oh, I didn't think skipping one day would be a big deal. I mean, don't you hate the walks, anyway?"

Emery gnaws on her lower lip. She has told Buck many times how stupid it was to walk and how it wasn't helping. But to be honest, she was lying. It gave her a routine again. It helped her in more ways than Buck realized. Emery couldn't say that over the phone. She wanted Buck to know that she meant it.

"Can you...come over?"

Buck's chest tightens, "Listen, Emery. I don't think today's such a good day for a walk. I'm just not feeling it." He hated saying "no" to her."

"Evan..."

Buck closes his mouth from Emery's soft but firm voice. "I need you to come over."

Buck didn't know why (he knew why). But his stomach began to tighten hearing Emery say that she needed him to come over. She needed him.

"Okay, I'll be there in 30 minutes."

Emery smiles softly, "Sounds good."

As soon as the call ended, Emery let out a small breath and set her phone on the table. Emery still hasn't told Buck about her meeting with Bobby. She promised herself she would warn Buck the next time she saw him. She wasn't going to let him get blindsided. The least she could do was warn him. Especially after giving Bobby the go-ahead. Emery hasn't talked to Bobby since that night. Even though Emery had so much guilt over deciding Buck's own future, Emery was more pissed about Bobby pushing her towards that decision.

30 minutes went by just like that.

A knock was heard at her door and Emery's heart jumped. She walks over to the door and pulls open the door, "Hi." She smiles, her eyes twinkling.

Buck pulls his brows together from the smile across her face. It wasn't one of those smiles that you formed to get people to leave you alone. It was a genuine smile. Her curly hair was hanging down past her shoulders, she was wearing a large t-shirt that went past her thighs.

"Hi...?"

Emery takes a step aside, opening the door wider. Buck takes a step inside and his jaw drops. "Holy shit, Emi!"

"I know!"

Buck walks around the now very clean house. Before Emery's house wasn't the neatest, and just from it being dirty Buck knew that Emery wasn't okay. But now, everything was back to the way it was. The apartment was practically shining. But there were a few things that were different. He saw more family pictures on Emery's wall and the pictures of Helena that used to be in Emery's room were sitting on a shelf. Buck didn't mention it, but Emery could tell he noticed.

"What made you clean?" Buck asks, his eyes still looking around the apartment.

"You did."

Buck stops and turns to her. Emery then moves her head from side to side. "Well, your walks." She bites the inside of her cheek. "They helped me have something to look forward to. I was able to create a day around the walks and I just...felt like me again."

"You did that for me, Evan." Emery takes a small step towards him. She then winces, "Well, your walks did."

"Too late. You already said that I did it for you." Buck clicks his tongue. Emery rolls her eyes playfully. "Yeah, well, if you tell anyone I'll deny it. And who do you think they'll believe?"

Buck frowns, "You make a good point."

Emery then hums, "I always do."

Buck begins to laugh, which causes Emery to soon join in. As Buck's laughter quiets down, he refocuses on Emery's eyes and his heart jumps into his throat. Silence settles into the room and Emery's stomach twists. Buck's face begins to grow hot. He then clears his throat and looks at his shoes, "I-I should—"

"Stay."

Buck freezes. Did he really hear her right? He couldn't have. I mean, Emery wants him to stay...with her?

Buck looks back at Emery and she raises her brows. Emery shrugs a small shoulder, a smile ghosting her lips. "Stay." Her voice was softer than before, but it still had a sureness to it.

Buck's jaw goes slack and his heartbeat begins to pound through his ears. Was this really happening? Buck takes a step closer to Emery, his chest tightening with the feeling of lust and affection for the girl. Honestly, the energy that was coming off of Buck was so much more than lust and affection. And Emery could feel that from the way he cupped her face.

His storm-blue eyes observe every inch of her face. He leans forward, his forehead now pressed against hers. Emery's eyes fall shut, and her round button nose brushes against his sharp-edged one. Buck's breathing heavies, he reaches down and his hand lightly brushes against hers and a chill rushes down Emery's spine. Her pointer finger twitches around his and she flutters her eyes open, looking across his content face.

He looks so relaxed being near her. It caused Emery's stomach to flutter. Like he could feel her soft gaze, he opened his eyes and met her dark ones. Emery parts her lips, her chest heaving.

"Evan..." she softly breathes against his lips. Buck traces her plump lower lip with his thumb and her breathing hitches. The first time Emery and Buck had kissed it was filled with lust, regret, and drunken animosity. But now, Buck wanted to do this right. For the both of them.

He places his other hand on her face while slightly pulling the corner of her lower lip down. Buck leans down and closes the space between them. Fireworks erupt between their lips and Emery's body felt like it was melting. She gingerly kisses him back, her eyes immediately falling shut.

His hands slowly trail down her neck, then her arms, and they interlock around her wrists. Emery raises her hands and cups both sides of his neck, she lightly pulls Buck down closer to her. The soft and warming kiss begins to grow more passionate. Emery's breathing begins to fall ragged and she quickly realizes this kiss is beginning to turn into something more. And her need to feel Buck's hands on her becomes far more intense.

Buck takes a step forward and Emery takes a step back until her back meets the dark oak door. Emery softly gasps and her core begins to heat up. Buck slides his hands under her shirt. He slightly pulls his lips from hers. "Your dad..."

Emery shakes her head, "Not home."

That was all he needed to hear. Buck grips the ends of Emery's shirt and lifts it. Emery raises her arms and Buck drops her shirt to the ground. Buck stares at Emery's face before looking across her body. Her breasts were spilling over the top of her scarlet red bralette. "Shit, Emi..." he sucks in a sharp breath, his jeans tightening.

Emery softly laughs watching Buck take in her body. Buck cups her neck and presses his forehead against hers. "You're so...I've missed you so much."

Emery inhales a shaky breath and her nose brushes against his. She softly smiles and bites her lower lip. "I've missed you too," She whispers, her eyes flitting to his lips before looking back into his eyes. Emery has missed the way he made her feel. She cups his face and Buck closes his eyes, feeling her touch. "so much." Emery hastily connects their lips once again and Buck stumbles back from the heavy impact of the kiss. Buck hooks his arms underneath Emery's legs and picks her up. Emery locks her ankles around Buck's waist.

Buck walks Emery over to her room, pushes the door open, and steps inside. He closes the door with his foot. Buck sets Emery on the bed and she sits on the edge of it. Emery sits on the bed and watches Buck kick off his shoes. Buck walks over to Emery. Her hands reach for the belt and she begins to unbuckle it.

Buck's throat tightens, "Emi—"

"I want to take care of you." Emery breathes. "Can I?"

Buck sucks in a breath and groans from the release he needed. He reaches forward and his fingers wrap around her chin, slightly lifting her head. Buck's breathing heavies from the hungry look in Emery's brown eyes. He wasn't going to deny her the need to pleasure him. He wanted to make Emery feel good so bad. He's missed his hands on her, it's all he fantasizes about since they stopped seeing each other.

But, with the way she was looking at him...

Buck would let Emery do whatever she wanted.

"Of course, you can, Emi."

Emery's breathing hitches. She stands up and desperately presses her lips against Buck's. He grips her waist and lightly squeezes. Emery swipes her tongue against Buck's lower lip and he parts his lips, allowing her tongue to slip into his mouth. They both stay like that for a moment, both still wanting to be as close to one another as possible. It's been so long since they've been together. But this felt different.

They both knew that.

"You have always taken care of me," Emery whispers against Buck's lips. "Sit down and let me take care of you." She cups his face, her thumb tracing his lower lip. Buck's stomach tightens as painfully as his cock. He eagerly sits on the edge of the bed. Emery falls to her knees and finishes undoing Buck's belt.

Buck's breathing was now ragged and his cheeks were red. Once his pants were unzipped and unbuckled; Emery dipped her hand into Buck's boxers and he groaned. Her hand wraps around his stiff cock and Buck groans.

"Shit—"

"I know, I know..." Emery moves her hand up and down his already hard dick. She runs her thumb across his tip and a strained moan comes from Buck's lips. Emery's touch was gentle almost like she didn't want to hurt him. She twists her wrist up and down his shaft, listening to the moans coming from Buck's mouth. Buck's breathing heavies, Emery's warm hand not letting up on his hard dick.

Sex with Emery was something Buck had thought about often, especially since they had stopped seeing each other. But as every day went on, he had forgotten what it was like being with her. And the only way Buck could get through the fantasies he had about Emery every so often was with his hand. But right now, feeling Emery jerk him off...

She was 1000 times better than his own hand.

"Evan, you're so amazing...giving yourself to me like this." She softly breathes, her own breathing becoming quick.

Buck looks across Emery's face, his face is flushed and his brain is jumbled. "I was always willing to give myself to you." He takes in a small breath. "That will never change."

Emery's heart jumps from the warm look Buck had for her. She pulls her hand from his boxers and begins to pull his jeans down. Buck aids Emery in pulling his pants off. Once he's completely out of his pants and boxers, Emery leans forward and wraps her lips around Buck's tip. As soon as he felt Emery's mouth on him, he could've sworn he was going to cum right then and there. He fists the silk sheets underneath him.
Emery's stomach clenches from the lewd noises coming from Buck. She moves her head up and down while her tongue swirls around his shaft.

"Emi—you're the only one who can make me feel like this." Buck's breathing quickens. Emery didn't ask for it, but Buck knew that she always appreciated words of praise.

Emery hums against his dick, which causes Buck's legs to tense. "I'm so close." His stomach begins to tighten.

Emery hollows her cheeks, sucking him more into her mouth, until he hits the back of her throat. A gasp comes from Buck's lips, and he then groans. "Emerson—so fucking good."

Emery's heart begins to pound through her ears and her stomach clenches. The strained mewls rippling from Buck's chest began to shake Emery's own body. She raises a hand and takes care of the rest of Buck's cock that wasn't in her mouth. She runs her tongue across his tip and cups his balls. "Fuck Emi, just like that..." Buck's moans grow, and his hand flies over Emery's and it causes her heart to jump.

Emery continues to work on Buck like the expert she was. She swallows Buck a few extra times to the point his breathing quickens and he begins to tighten. "Shit, shit--"

Emery shifts her eyes up and watches as Buck squeezes his eyes shut and his jaw goes slack. He squeezes Emery's hand as his body convulsed. A strained moan comes from Buck and he releases, the warm liquid spilling down Emery's throat. Emery continues to lick and suck Buck, guiding him through his orgasm. Buck began to shake from the amount of work Emery was putting into him.

Finally, Emery took Buck out of her mouth and wiped the corner of her lips with her thumb. She looks at Buck through her lashes and his blue glistening eyes stay on her. He softly curses, "Fuck, you're amazing." Buck grabs Emery's arm and gently pulls her up, so her lips can press against his. Emery slips her tongue into Buck's mouth, allowing him to taste himself. He softly moans, which lights a fire in him once again. Emery stands up between Buck's legs and he leaves open-mouthed kisses across her stomach. A chill rushes down her spine and her stomach twists. Emery tilts her head to the ceiling and her breathing heavies. "Evan..." one of her hands tangles into his hair. Buck begins to pull her shorts down, his kisses trailing down.

Emery's back straightens and she sucks in a small breath. "Wait, wait..."

Buck pulls his lips from her skin and lifts his head, to stare up at her. "What do you want, Emi?"

Emery softly moans from the velvet slick tone coating Buck's voice. Blood rushes through her ears and she feels like her legs are going to collapse underneath her. "I can't wait anymore." she breathes. "I need you inside of me."

A smile finds Buck's face and Emery chuckles. She leans forward and kisses him. The impact of the kiss was rough enough to force Buck to fall back against the mattress. Emery hovers over him, her hand firmly pressed beside his head. She straddles his waist, her lips trailing down his neck. Buck grips her thighs and tilts his head against the mattress.

Emery slowly begins to roll her hips against Buck's needing friction. The pads of his fingers dig into the flesh of her thighs which causes a small cry to escape her lips. "H-Harder please." She moans, her head tilted to the ceiling. Buck complies and digs his fingers deeper into her thighs. Emery moans louder, which causes blood to rush to Buck's cock, his erection now pressed against her clothed pussy. "You're so beautiful, Emerson." He breathes.

Emery looks down at Buck and her face grows hot. Her stomach begins to tighten not only thinking about what's to come soon but for what the future holds for her and Buck. Would this end in them being together?

"Evan, I want you." Emery moans. "And not just right now."

Buck's jaw goes slack, he sees the cloudy look of admiration in Emery's blown pupils. He grips the waistband of Emery's shorts. "I feel the same way, I do."

Emery lets out a breath of relief. She leans down and kisses him, her breathing becomes shaky when Buck slowly pulls her shorts down. Emery pulls her lips from Buck's and stands up from the bed. She takes the rest of her clothes off and Buck follows suit. As soon as they were both out of their clothes, Buck pulled her close once again. Emery lets out a squeal as she falls forward and Buck wraps his arms around her. She laughs as Buck kisses her lips.

Buck takes his arms from around Emery and cups her face. Emery kisses him back, her smile never going away. "I have to tell you something." She whispers on his lips. Buck pulls his brows together. "Uh oh—"

"No, stop." Emery sits up, straddling his waist. "I just wanted to tell you. That I'm not on the pill right now."

Buck frowns, "Okay, I'll pull out." He grips her waist.

"Evan—"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." Buck laughs as he runs his thumbs over her skin. "But I don't have any condoms on me."

"What?" Emery tilts her head.

Buck bunches his shoulders. "I haven't had sex since you, Princess."

Emery's core heats up. God, she's missed hearing him call her that. "Well, luckily for you. I'm always prepared." She stands up and opens one drawer. Buck sits up on his elbows and watches as Emery grabs a box of condoms.

"Why the hell do you have condoms? Were you having sex with someone?"

Emery hums, "Evan, no. I'm Emerson Sharpe. I'm just always prepared." She opens the box and grabs one of the packages. Emery walks back over to Buck, noticing his suspicious squinted eyes. She couldn't help but laugh at his jealousy of a non-existent person.

"The last time I had sex was with you, pretty boy." Emery stands at the edge of the bed, staring down at Buck. He looks at her, his gaze now soft. "Oh."

"Aw, who's my insecure, golden retriever?" Emery mocks him in a deep voice. Buck rolls his eyes, "You're so funny..."

Before she could even register anything, Buck grips her wrist and pulls her forward. Emery yelps as her chest collides with Buck's. She grunts but softly chuckles. "Now, where were we?" Emery holds up the condom between her fingers. She sits up and straddles his waist once again.

Buck licks his lips, anticipating being inside of Emery once again. Without breaking eye contact, Emery rips open the condom package with her teeth. She pulls the condom out of its package and slides it onto Buck's erect dick. He softly gasps and tilts his head back.

Emery watches as Buck relishes the feeling of her hand being on him. She grips his shaft and Buck moans. "Emi..." he raises a hand and grips her forearm, just needing to be near her.

A heat blooms through Emery and she lifts herself and hovers over Buck's cock. She runs the tip of Buck's cock over her slit. Emery's eyes flutter and she softly gasps, "Oh, fuck."

Buck groans through his teeth. "God, you still love teasing me, don't you, Princess?"

Emery chuckles and looks down at Buck. "Duh, but at the end of the day, I'll always give you what you want..." she leans down and kisses him passionately. Buck moans into her mouth. She finally slides onto Buck's dick. Both of their moans fill the hot room.

Emery sucks in a sharp breath, "Are you okay?" She looks down at him.

Buck softly laughs, "I'm great."

Emery's chest warms. Buck touches her thighs, "You can keep going."

Emery nods her head, she slowly lifts herself before lowering back down on Buck's dick. She steadily moves up and down, getting into the motions once again. Emery's hands fly over to Buck's, wanting to be connected to him in any way possible. Buck arches his back, his moans increasing in volume. His moans forced Emery's moans to be dragged out of her.

Emery and Buck both knew that this was so much more different than any other time they'd had sex. It was slow and sensual, they both wanted the other to know how important this was to them. They wanted to stay in this moment forever. With the entire world shut out. It was just them.

Emery grinds harder down on Buck's cock, her mind becoming jumbled with only the boy's needs in mind. "Evan, you're so big." She moans.

Buck softly laughs, "Tell me something I don't know."

Emery interlocks her hand with Buck's and pins it above his head. "I can see the cockiness hasn't gone away." Her breathing heavies, her eyes examining his face of pleasure.

Buck couldn't help but do the same thing. A ferocious feeling suddenly rose in him. "Come here." His voice was breathless but you could hear the force behind it. Emery's walls clench around his cock. God, he's so fucking hot.

Emery leans down and Buck smashes his lips onto hers. She continues to move on his pulsing cock. Her moans increase she kisses the crook of Buck's neck. "Oh, fuck..." her moans hit his ear which causes him to get closer to his orgasm. Her voice was music to his ears, no matter what tone she was using. Buck raises a hand and touches her upper back. "You're fucking amazing, Emi. Please go faster."

Emery sits up, with her stomach tightening. She keeps a hand beside Buck's head and her movements quicken. Buck felt like he needed added pressure from Emerson. So, without a second thought, he grips one of Emery's wrists and lifts it up, her palm now around his throat.

Emery's stomach tightens more than before from the image of her hand around Buck's throat that would now be engraved in her brain forever. "Evan, you're so fucking hot like this..." she rocks her hips harder against his.

Buck tilts his head back, "Oh, god..." his moans grow louder and Emery felt herself approaching her orgasm quickly. Buck moves his hips in sync with Emery's allowing him to hit deeper inside of her. He brushes her G-spot and Emery practically screams.

"Shit!"

"You're okay, you're okay." Buck coaxes her toward the orgasm that was rushing towards her. "Fuck, Emi, you're so close. I can feel it—"

"I am, I am." Emery pants. It takes all her strength to open her eyes and stare at Buck's pleasure-filled face. His jaw was slacked and his eyes were shut. "You're close too."

Buck forces his eyes open and meets Emery's gaze. His chest blooms with an electric feeling. "Yes, god yes." He raises a hand and rubs her throbbing clit. "Come on, Princess..." he softly assures her.

Emery's eyes begin to flutter shut as she's pushed over the edge. Her spine goes rigid and a familiar electric feeling rushes through her body. She arches her back and exhales a louder moan. "Evan!" The coil that was tight in her stomach snapped and her cunt sucks Buck's cock more into her. Even though, she was riding her orgasm; Emery still moved up and down on Buck to help him reach his orgasm.

Listening to Emery's moans, watching her ride her high, and the feeling of her sucking his cock deeper into her; causes his orgasm to explode within his body. His hips still and his eyes squeeze shut tighter than before. Buck's fingers halt from rubbing Emery's clit and he moans, riding one of the greatest orgasms of his life. Emery begins to laugh as she watches Buck enjoy his euphoric orgasm. "Emerson Sharpe, you have done it again."

Buck let out a breathless laugh, his body twitching as he still tried to recover. Emery pulls herself off of Buck and he groans softly. Buck sits up and pulls the condom off. He ties it and throws it in the trashcan beside Emery's bed. Buck lays back down next to Emery and stares at the side of her face. She then looks at him and smiles. Despite both of them being sweaty and their hair being disheveled and frizzy, they still found the other irresistible. Emery leans forward and kisses his lips.

Buck kisses Emery back, his heart once again beginning to ram against his ribcage. She slightly pulls her lips away from his and whispers, "I'm gonna take a shower." She stands up and walks over to her bathroom.

Buck lets out a content sigh, "Okay." He looks at the ceiling.

A comfortable silence fills the room as Emery turns the shower in the bathroom.

"Evan..."

Buck pulls his brows together from the sultry voice. He props himself up on his elbows and sees Emery leaning against the doorframe of her bathroom. Buck keeps his eyes on Emery's lust-filled ones. Even though he could see the wanton look in her eyes, he was still confused about what she was asking.

Emery arches a brow and motions her head towards the bathroom. Buck looks at the bathroom and then back at Emery's hot and bothered expression. A crease forms between his brows. She couldn't have been wanting to...

"Wait, you want to...in the shower?" Buck asks.

Emery softly hums and nods her head.

"But, what about your rule?" Buck stands up.

Emery hangs her head low and laughs. "After everything we've been through, you still think I'm playing by the rules?" She quirks a brow and walks into the bathroom, not closing the door behind her.

Buck felt his dick grow hard again just from the words Emery had spoken. And the way she looked at him...

Yeah, Buck could go for another round.

And another round became three more rounds.

☆

"You know what I've always wondered..."

Buck traces Emery's soft brown luminous skin with his thumb. He chuckles softly. Emery had a white linen sheet over her chest and Buck had one around his waist.

Emery turns her head, meeting Buck's gleaming blue eyes. She raises her brows, "What?"

"Why you've never taught me Spanish."

Emery snorts, "What?" Amusement dances around her voice.

"You know Spanish, right?" Buck lightly grips her thigh and pulls it over his legs.

Emery pokes her tongue into her cheek and nods. "Yes..." she hums. "And I also know sign language." She holds a pointer finger up. Buck chuckles and looks away from her.

"And I've been learning some French too..." Emery tilts her head to the weird.

Buck looks back at her, "And I'm just now learning about this?"

Emery nods her head, "Yeah, you are. Because I am just full of surprises."

Buck continues to run his fingers over her skin and he's mesmerized by her body, her mind, her beauty. "Would you teach me?"

Emery bites the inside of her cheek. "Only for something in return."

Buck looks at her with a brow raised. "Seriously?"

Emery rolls her eyes, "No. Not seriously." She then purses her lips. "But, I wouldn't mind you giving me something."

Buck hums, pretending to think hard. "How about...you teach me Spanish and I will teach you how to cook?"

Emery's smile grows, "Oh, thank god. I thought you were gonna offer me something like sex."

Buck then laughs, "But I could offer you that all the time."

"I know. Which is why I'm glad you said cooking." She leans forward and presses her lips against his.

Buck softly moans and kisses her back, his hand cupping the back of her neck. His breathing heavies, "You really wanna go another round?"

"Can't I just kiss you without chasing after sex?" Emery whispers on his lips. Buck raises his brows and Emery frowns. "I mean, I wouldn't mind going another round."

Buck laughs and so does Emery. She lays back down and looks at Buck. Emery's laughter quiets and her nose brushes against the side of his face. She smiles softly and couldn't stop the giggles from escaping her lips. Buck turns to her; his nose brushing against hers. "What?" His voice was soft.

Emery bites her lower lip and chuckles. "I'm just...happy."

Buck's heart jumps into his throat and a smile forms on his lips. In all honesty, there was a point in time when Buck didn't think he would ever see Emery smile again. It made his heart so elated to see her genuinely smiling with him. He cups the side of her neck and softly presses his lips against hers. Emery gingerly kisses him back and he cups the side of her neck. Buck pulls his lips away from hers and their foreheads press together. "I'm happy too."

Emery pulls her face back and snorts. "I would hope so." She tilts her head. "The way you were begging me to put my nails in you."

"Can you blame me? I've missed these nails." He wraps his fingers around her wrist and kisses her knuckles. Emery keeps her eyes on the side of Buck's face. She watches him examine her hand. Her heart started to pound against her ribcage, thinking. There was so much she wanted to tell him. And Emery didn't want another second to pass without Buck knowing her true feelings.

"Evan..." she softly speaks. Buck meets her eyes, "Yeah?"

Emery swipes her tongue across her lower lip. "I...I wanted to tell you, that I—"

Buck's phone vibrates and he groans. "I'm sorry."

Emery shakes her head. "You're phone has been ringing all night and you've ignored it." She holds a hand up. "You should see what's going on."

Buck gives her a grateful smile. He gives her a chaste kiss, which causes a smile to spread on her lips. Chaste gave off normal. Domestic. She wanted her and Buck to be a normal domestic couple. And Buck wanted it too, right?

Emery smiles and looks at Buck. She then pulls her brows together when she sees Buck's hardened expression. "Hey, what's wrong?" She gently touches his arm.

"It's...Bobby."

Emery tenses, "What—is he okay?" Her panic rises.

"No, yeah. He's fine." Buck gently grabs her hand. Emery exhales a small breath of relief. "It's just...he's been calling me, but...I can't talk to him right now he rubs his face. "He doesn't want me back at the station."

Emery's heart drops into her stomach. "Oh..."

Oh, shit.

"I just don't understand." Buck shakes his head. "My doctors said I was cleared. "They said it's safe for me to go back—why can't he understand that?"

Emery bites the inside of her cheek. "I...need to tell you something."

Buck forces his eyes away from the phone and makes eye contact with Emery's shaky eyes. "Em? What's wrong?"

"I..." she inhales a shaky breath. "Bobby...he asked me about...you."

Buck pulls his brows together. "What—what do you mean?"

"He asked me if you should come back to the 118."

Buck raises his brows, "Hold on, so, Bobby not only knows that I've been cleared but he heard your side and still won't let me come back?" He then lets out a breath of disbelief and looks away from her. Emery stays silent but she keeps her eyes on the side of Buck's face. As time goes on and the room stays silent, Buck's face drops and he keeps his eyes on the wall. Even though it was silent, Buck could feel a heavy guilt hanging in the air and it wasn't his.

"Unless...you didn't tell Bobby to bring me back."

Emery's shoulders slightly sag. "Evan..."

He turns to his shaky blue eyes on her guilt-ridden brown ones. "You told him not to clear me?"

"I told him that he should just be careful," Emery says. "To...to really think about if he feels safe with you coming back."

Buck pulls his hand away from Emery's and her chest tightens.

"I can't believe this..." Buck pulls the sheet off of him and grabs his boxers. He slips them on and Emery's breathing halts for a moment. "Evan, wait—"

"Why would you do that? The doctors did clear me."

"I know that—I know." Emery grabs her bra and clips it on. "But, for some reason when he asked me...I just couldn't say yes."

"Why not?!"

Emery lightly jumps from the sudden yelling. Buck lets out a sharp breath. Even though he has some anger and feels betrayed in this situation, that isn't going to stop how he feels about Emery. He was still crazy about her. And the way she flinched when he raised his voice hurt him. Buck grabs Emery's underwear and holds it out to her. Emery looks at him for a moment and her eyes soften. She grabs the panties from his hand and slips them on. "I wanted to say yes. But I didn't..." she trails off her words and shakes her head, not able to say the words out loud.

I didn't want to lose anyone else.

What could she possibly say that wouldn't go in one ear and out the other? Buck was angry right now and he wasn't going to listen to her. What could she fucking say?

Buck felt like he had been hit by a truck. He has never in his life felt betrayed until this moment. "How could you do that? You know how much being a firefighter means to me—you know—"

"And I also know that you wouldn't have taken your health into account, so I did it for you." Emery couldn't tell Buck that Bobby guilted her into this decision. She was a Co-Captain. And Co-Captains have to be on the same page. She couldn't let anyone know that she was pissed at Bobby.

"Why are you even speaking for me? Like we're in a relationship—we're not together!" Buck snaps.

Emery closes her mouth. Buck didn't mean it. He just needed her to understand how betrayed he felt.

"I was only trying to help—"

"Yeah, well, you didn't help me, Emerson." Buck scoffs. "You only..." Buck looks away from her, not able to finish his sentence but Emery knows what he is going to say. You only made things worse.

Emery watches as he pinches the bridge of his nose. Her body tenses and she shakes her head.

"Can we please talk?" Emery softly speaks. She knew what he was thinking. He was shutting down. Emery didn't want this conversation to end without him knowing how she felt. But her brain was shaking and she couldn't form any words.

"I think I'm done talking to you." Buck rubs his face. Emery's brows pinch together and her chest begins to tighten. Buck finishes putting his clothes on. "I need to get out of here."

"What...? Evan, please..." Emery slips her shirt on and follows him through her house to the door. He puts his shoes on and grabs the doorknob.

Emery's breathing hitches, "N-No!" She grabs Buck's hand that is over the door handle. Buck keeps his eyes on the door, not even bothering to look at her. Emery inhales a shaky breath. "I want you to stay so we can talk about this."

Buck stops and keeps his eyes on the door. Emery inhales a shaky breath, "Don't go."

Don't leave me.

Buck swallows the lump in his throat from the shakiness in Emery's tone. He knew she had his intentions in mind when she talked to Bobby. But he was angry right now. And if he stayed. He would've said something he would most definitely regret later. But the thing that Buck didn't know was that he was definitely going to regret leaving later.

Buck shakes his head and his hand tightens around the doorknob. Emery pulls her brows together. He's not going to stay.

Emerson hated being right.

Buck pulls the door open and walks out of the apartment, leaving Emery alone.

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authors note.

And so the angst begins...

The trial is going to HURTTTT

For any confusion, this chapter takes place in the middle of season 3 episode 4, the episode is called 'Trigger'. So, the next chapter I write will be episode 5 🫡

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