Memory.

A recollection of the past. Individuals experienced an event clogging it on their inner wheels to revisit at a later point. My sister's accident was a memory that wouldn't vanish from my senses in any lifetime. I feared even if I suffered from amnesia, I would somehow always replay that night like an endless merry-go-round.

Today was another major deal for me.

Losing the part of Isabel was a blessing and a curse. One downside was Ryler being promoted everywhere, and I meant everywhere. Commercials. Water Bottles. Billboard. Times Square. It's a constant reminder about how I lost it to a girl who couldn't act for shit. Milo also wasn't being friendly by throwing it in my face about how Ambrose was the reason for me being let go.

But I wasn't breaking up with Ambrose over a freaking role. I'd hold my head high, shoulders straight, and master another audition that wouldn't think twice about declining me. That would show those idiotic bastards who's boss.

However, that wasn't my first step to badassery.

No. Today, I was meeting with my sister. I figured since I wasn't getting cast for a role anytime soon, I might as well resolve the relationship with Kasey since I was sticking around New York. My boyfriend lived here. My sister lived here. It's only logical for me to follow suit and be closer to the individuals I cared about.

Barks of wood stretched across the brown-bricked building like a protective shield from the sun. Different colored sheets sprawled over each of the windows. I had a sisterly feeling that the purple drapes were hers. There were two brown pillars, reaching up to my waist, which was the main foundation for the staircase.

Ambrose and I walked hand in hand to her apartment, my nerves devouring my body like an eating bacteria. My younger sister was only a few meters away from me, and today, I would leave knowing the truth of where our relationship stood.

He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. "Everything will be fine."

"Mmm," I hummed in agreement.

The knocker on her door was bedazzled with rhinestones and a Rapunzel sticker. Kasey must've always hoped her shining armor would climb up her hair, or in these circumstances, these staircases because it was her teenage dream. With a trembling hand, I banged the knocker against the door and waited for my sister.

Ambrose's touch was the only comforting thing right now.

With a blink of an eye, the door opened.

"Davina!" My sister flashed the brightest smile in the century. "Oh my gosh, and you brought your boyfriend? I look like a mess right now, but that's my life with a baby."

She wasn't kidding. Kasey looked like she's been barfed, thrown in a mud puddle, and rolled in a balloon pit. However, despite that, she was Kasey, the beautiful, graceful Kasey in full glory. Her eye bags were humongous, but her twinkling blue-grey irises stoled anyone's attention. I might've been famous, but if the world knew about my sister, I would be eaten by the sharks for keeping this cutie a secret.

"Don't worry, Kas. Mom life looks great on you," I said, pulling a piece of crusty cereal from her hair.

She laughed. "Ahh... that was my breakfast until Darius started screaming bloody murder because he wanted to eat."

"Is he sleeping?" I asked, taking a peek at the inside of her apartment.

"Yes, finally!" Kasey giggled. "But I'm sure he will be up before you guys leave. I wouldn't want him to miss seeing his Auntie especially since I don't know when you will visit again."

Guilt plagued my heart. "What are you talking about? I'm going to start coming weekly. You will be tired of me. Watch and see."

Kasey narrowed her eyes slightly with a small smirk gracing her lips. "I'll believe it when you come over next week. Now, let's head in I was making soup for us."

My eyes widened. "Is it bean soup?"

"What else can it be?" Kasey teased, traveling over to the stove. "When we were younger, my mother cooked this mean bean soup. Davina had more knowledge than a textbook, but couldn't cook this to save her life, so I put my skills to the test and mastered the recipe. Even added my own little touch."

I nodded. "It's true. Though... I think I'll be able to crack that recipe now."

Kasey waved me off. "Yeah. Yeah. Sit down, guys. I got this."

Her living room was like it was hit by a tornado. Playpens, toy blocks, a ballpen, a high chair, and random bottles lying on the floor. A small zebra-patterned sofa was pressed against the wall, forming an 'L' shape in the living. The last thing was her 32' inch flat screen tv hanging up against the white walls.

Ambrose and I wandered over to the table stocked with unopened mails, baby catalogs, and dirty handkerchiefs. I wasn't entirely sure where Kasey wanted me to move everything since she was the type to be organized in a messy way. I didn't want to throw her off her groove.

Kasey wheeled over with a shocked expression. "Sorry, just put everything on the countertop," she said, moving the plates on her island to the sink. "I've got an extremely bad habit of pushing everything to the breaking point. It's gotten worse with Darius around."

"Why don't you ask Mom to hire a maid?" I asked, obeying her request.

She scoffed. "Like she would use her precious money on me. Do you want to know what she got me for my birthday? A text message."

I rolled my eyes. "She hasn't gotten any better I see."

"Yeah, my pregnancy really riled up her bones. I had to give birth on my own since the father and mom didn't bother answering my calls. They don't deserve to be in Darius's life. He didn't ask to be born in this destruction, but I'll shower him with the love we both lacked." Kasey's eyes glimmered, thinking about her baby boy.

Ambrose placed his hand in the air like he was a student in high school, waiting for the approval to speak. "I don't mean to come off rude, but how was giving birth? I'm asking for my best friend, she's been nervous as the due dates grow closer."

"It felt like being ripped apart. Thousand times over."

He gulped. "I can't even imagine how that must feel like. A women's body is truly amazing for being able to go through all those things. But if it really hurts that much I'm not sure we should have children, D."

Kasey gasped. "No! You guys have to! Darius needs a little cousin to look over and honestly, I've always wanted to see Davina as a mother."

My eyebrows scrunched together. "Why?"

"Because you hate the crying, changing diapers, breastfeeding, throw up, etc. The day I see you going through all that will be my dying day," Kasey stated, pouring the soup from the pot into three separate bowls.

My face cringed. Kasey was right. Babies weren't my jam. I didn't love the idea of bringing another individual into the world and having all the responsibility on my shoulders. My childhood wasn't something I would wish on anyone, I dreaded I would ignore the child by not giving it the love it deserves. Like how my parents did to me.

Ambrose and I had broken childhoods. Would we even be good enough for a child someday? Would we be able to give it the love and attention it deserved?

Kasey rolled over with three bowls, shaking on her arms so I jolted over to capture them before they fell to the floor. "Thanks. Sometimes I forget my waitering days are behind me."

As we placed the plates on the table, Darius's stomach must've started grumbling because his scream echoed through the baby monitor beside us.

She threw her head back. "Of course, he wakes up the second I'm about to eat. Dig in. I'll be back in a few minutes."

A moan instantly left my lips as the flavors blended beautifully in my mouth. Ambrose's eyebrows pinched together as he munched on the bowl which in his language meant he loved it too. It didn't take us longer than five minutes to slurp the bowl dry, and I had the urge to eat Kasey's.

But that would be cruel.

Kasey rotated over with Darius's small frame cradled in her arms, his tiny hands feeling around her chest. My heart instantly burst as I got a closer look. His blonde hairs fused in with his olive complexion only noticeable around his ears, and his eyes were easily his best feature. Because they were Kasey's. For a baby, he already had a year's worth of wrinkles on his chin with the permanent pout he wore.

"He's literally your clone," I said, rubbing my finger on his chubby cheek.

"My little bundle of joy was hungry. Right, Darius?" Kasey placed a kiss on his head. "Yes, he was. Yes, he was. Do you mind holding him while I make his bottle?" Her eyes flickered over to me.

Anxiety rushed through me like an unexpected breeze. "A-h. Sure."

Kasey softly handed Darius over to me, and he snuggled into my touch. His head kept moving around, gathering his surroundings to the new strangers in his kingdom. He began kicking his legs eagerly as if he knew his momma was making him a bottle. Then I made the biggest mistake by leaning closer to Darius's face, giving him full access to curling his little fingers around my hair.

And he pulled it, hard.

"Ouch!" I screeched, instantly regretting holding this demon child. "I don't want to hold him anymore."

Kasey shook the bottle in her hand. "You're such a baby. It was just a little tug."

My jaw dropped. "It was not! He was pulling the hair from my scalp. He probably has pieces of my hair in his fist."

Ambrose raised his hand again. "Do you mind if I feed Darius?"

Her eye's widened. "Damn, Davina, you got yourself a keeper! I haven't seen a guy so excited to carry a baby since dad."

My brain short-circuited. "Wait, when was the last time you saw dad?"

"About a month ago. Maybe? I'm not sure. He came over as his way of saying sorry for leaving our family, but he's been calling weekly and asking about Darius," Kasey replied, shaking the bottle with all her might.

A slither of envy crawled on my skin. "Oh. That's good."

I shouldn't feel jealous of my sister's relationship with my father. She didn't have any other person to sink her teeth into for comfort. If I'm being honest, I'm glad he came back into her life and became a person she could look forward to. But I wanted that too. Maybe I pushed him away from trying after our conversation at the dinner, but it would've hurt to try and make an effort.

"Yeah, I mean, he's the only other person who came to visit me after my accident. You never did." Bitterness was laced in her voice.

Here it was.

The conversation we should've had a long time ago...

My face dropped. "I-I'm sorry."

"Was acting more important to you? Or did you just think I didn't want to see you?" Kasey asked, her cheeks blooming red.

"I'm so so so sorry, Kas. When you went into surgery, all I could think about was how this entire situation was my fault." I sniffled, gesturing at her wheelchair. "I drove us to that pond. My silly mistake was the reason we flipped over. I'm the reason why you're in the wheelchair. I spent years trying to gain the courage to see you again because I missed you so fucking much. But it's scary. I'm still scared, now."

Kasey rolled closer and bumped my head against her's. "You're an idiot, big sis. I could never blame you for ending up in this wheelchair. We both made the decision to go to the pond beside you came up with the idea to cheer me up over stupid fucking Brett. Gosh, looking back I should've wasted any tears on him. I don't blame you for this situation however, I do blame you for ditching me. I needed you." Her blue eyes swelled with tears.

"I'm s-."

"Davina, I needed you so bad. My whole life changed at sixteen and the one person who always stayed went away to god knows where for a film? I hated you for a few years since I drilled in my head that you probably didn't want to be hanging around with a cripple, but as I got older. I realized it must've been something else keeping you away. You drank, smoke, inhaled drugs, I knew you resorted to that because your mental state was declining. Mom said it had to do with Colton, but I knew never to believe her," Kasey rambled, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"I don't hate you nor blame you. Not one bit. All I wanted was a relationship with my sister again, and I'm thrilled you finally had the courage to come out here."

I wrapped my arms around her neck, stuffing my face in between the crook. As if she was the older sister, she caressed my hair as I sobbed onto her, regretting the last seven years of my life.

Maybe I wasn't to blame for Kasey being in a wheelchair, but I committed an even bigger crime by ditching her. I spent years avoiding spending a single second reliving the memory that I never gave myself enough time to realize how I left her. I was the world's shittest sister.

"I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry," I repeated like a chant. "How could you even forgive me? I don't deserve it."

"Shhh... You might be a little dummy sometimes, but you're my only true family. Mom and Dad aren't really my parents, you were Davina. You shaped me into the person I am today, not them. If I can forgive a man who ditched us until he got his own family then I can forgive the sister who loves me," Kasey sniffled, wrapping her arms tighter around my frame.

Life's greatest moments came like flickering lights. Like when a light bulb would flicker for a few minutes before giving out. That's how quickly a great moment slipped right past us. Our memory was the only way of holding onto them. I've made a million mistakes in my twenty-five years of living and I would probably make a million more, but I had to love myself for all my faults.

I couldn't blame myself for situations out of my hand.

I couldn't tear myself down until the shell I was over a year ago.

Loving yourself was a hard pillow to swallow, but I had a whole lifetime to reach that point. However, today, I loved myself a bit more than I did yesterday.

And that was a big deal for me.

Hiii guys! It's a sweet little chapter for Davina and Kasey's relationship! I feel their bond hasn't been shown enough 🤪it's my fault lol. 

Love you guys!! can't wait to read your comments!