To have a crush on someone and hide it is difficult, to love someone and not acknowledge it is more difficult. To be rejected by the first ever person whom you let know about your heart is the most difficult.

Especially, when you have to see him everyday and will have to see him a lot of times in the future.

Sushi had her phone in her hand but her focus was fixed on the dusty fan. She could not enjoy the softness of the bed or the coolness provided by the AC. She sighed as she kept the phone beside her.

She crossed her arms and closed her eyes, she needed to sleep and she knew it but she could not.

She was tired but each time she tried to sleep, her mind kept being filled with depressive thoughts. For the last few days, she just could not sleep well and she wished if the silent bliss would just take her over.

She was such a fool to propose her best friend's fiancé. He might have liked her before but he would not have nodded yes to the proposal without a lot of thought.

He was right and Sushi hated the fact that he was right.

She opened her eyes and let a silenced scream of agony out as she grabbed and pulled the bedsheet on either side of her. She was such a selfish person. She forgot about all the problems that everyone would face if she and Professor Salahuddin were together.

It was a truth that Thomas liked Shahma but that did not mean that being with him could give her any happiness, it would only present them with a lot of worries and a life time of regret.

If Thomas converted to Islam for her, they would have to face the wrath of his family. If Shahma converted to Christianity for him, they would have to suffer from the tears of her family. If neither of them converted, it was almost like they chose to be orphans.

Shahma and Thomas could never be together. Neither could she and Professor Salahuddin. The heart wants what it wants but the brain needs what we need.

She had to avoid him as much as possible, she would forget him eventually. After all , he was not the first person she was ever attracted to.

Suddenly, her phone beeped twice.

There were two messages, one from AA and the other from Shahma. Sushi knew that she would have to learn to keep distance from Shahma if she were to stay away from Professor Salahuddin.

Her index finger lingered over Shahma's name. She clicked AA.

'Long time, no hear... are you that busy?'

When she started typing impatiently to AA, she realized that it would not be too easy to stay away from Shahma. She had to get used to Shahma and Professor Salahuddin being a couple.

'I am in serious trouble and need to discuss it with you,'

She went to the home page of WhatsApp . Her fingers moved towards Shahma's name involuntarily and clicked it.

'Al fahm barbecue at Erumadam restaurant, today 4 pm, my treat'

Pick me'

Sushi smiled. Food was a weakness for both the friends. It makes happiness meaningful , eradicates sadness and anger disappears at the sight and smell of a delicious dinner.

She needed to stop thinking about Professor Salahuddin. Nobody would choose a relationship with an uncertain future over a friendship with a strong past and bright future.

She send a smiley.

And took AA's contact to see his message.

'What happened?'

'I am a little busy now. Please spare some time for me later✌🏾'

She stood up and had a look at her own clothes. It was new enough and beautiful enough. She took the shawl of her cotton churidar from the headstand of the bed and tied it diagonally across her body with shoulder for its support. She looked at the mirror.

Mission hair style activated.

She grabbed her keys from the drawer and sped downwards, humming her favorite song.

The worried voice of her father grew as she continued descending the stairs. She halted before making herself visible before him, a few stairs above the ceiling level of the first floor.

"Are you sure that it was my daughter?" Sushi's eats sharpened after the usage of the word 'my daughter'.

Shamna had gone abroad with Arjun, a few days after their register marriage. Shamna had called Sushi many times during those days but Sushi never attended them. When the frequency increased, Sushi blocked her sister. She was angry at her for making her parents and family worried.

Shamna had turned Sushi's life upside down. Her parents transformed from cool and friendly parents to dubious and spying parents for the first few months after the elope. They would check Sushi's phone and Sayanth's laptop, almost every week. They would check their children's bag and follow them, at times. Sushiknew about their parent's FBI works but did not wish to question them when they were in such a broken state.

Sushi's father had a minor attack when he realized that his daughter had eloped and this grew the amount of hatred that 16 year old Sushi had for her sister. Her parents had to attend a few months of counseling classes before they came back to normal life.

It had taken about a month for Sushi to realize that she missed her sister but by that time they had already flown away. Sushi had send a lot of messages in Shamna's Facebook account but Shamna never saw it.

The last time she had heard Shamna's voice was on the day previous to her elope.

The last time they had brought up Shamna's name was when her father arranged the death rituals for his daughter.

Is Shamna back?

"Okay, but if you ever see them together again, contact me directly... neither my wife nor my son, please?"

Sushi came down only after a few seconds of silence.

She was about to open the door when she heard her father calling her. She turned on her heels to see her father with wrinkled forehead and red eyes.. Her mother was beside him and her eyes wear teary.

Sushi's mother wiped her face with the tip of her saree. Her mother's eyes and nose were red.

"Where are you going?" Her father asked.

" I am going to Shahma's house," Sushi knew that she was not doing anything wrong but she felt like a criminal under her father!s dubious gaze. Her father looked her from top to toe before walking a few steps towards her. He crossed his arms as his eyes bore into hers.

"Should I drop you?"

Sushi shook her head, " No, thanks,"

"Whom are you going with?"

" I am taking my bike," She jingled the key and tried to smile. She wanted to lighten the atmosphere.

" Take Sayanth with you,"

"I have to revise chemistry and biology," Sayanth said as he came out of the kitchen. The genius held a jar of apricot in one hand and a bar of dark chocolate in the other.

"Are you going to disobey me, Sayanth?" The son shivered under his father's wrathful gaze. He gulped before shaking his head.

"I can revise it tomorrow," he hung his head low as he went back to the kitchen.

"Do you have a problem in taking him with you to refresh his mind?" Her father looked back at her.

She shook her head.

She looked past her father for answers from her mother but her mother just broke down then and there. She ran back to their room.

Sushi looked here and there as she waited for her brother to get ready. She felt like she was shrinking in front of her father. Her father stood there like a statue, his eyes never leaving Sushi.

It was true that she might meet up with Shamna if she had a chance to,. She did not feel it right to stay away from her own sister because of something that happened several years back. However, she felt like her father was overreacting.

Sayanth joined her grumpily with a notebook in his hand.

Her father took fast steps towards him and grabbed the book from his hand. He threw it on the floor. Sayanth's eyes teared up as it kept moving between his book and his father.

His father bent and spoke to him in a low yet dangerous voice, " Be with her, always" Sayanth's father stood back and looked at Sushi.

As they were about to leave the house, their father said "Sushi, you should not leave the house alone, anymore,"

Sushi turned and nodded her head once. She turned back immediately, wishing that her father would not say anything more.

Both the siblings sighed, once they were outside their own house.

Sayanth turned to his sister and gathered the courage to ask the question to her.

"Sushi, tell me the truth, is Thomas really your boyfriend?"