"What is love?

Is it the tingly feeling
when I kiss her?
Or is it the tangly feeling
when I miss him?

Define love for I know not anymore of the invisible boundaries"

Sushi could not help but wonder if Professor Salahuddin was a bisexual person after seeing his Facebook post for a pride month contest. Well, it did not matter much if he was bisexual , she would still have a chance. It was a problem only if he was a gay but he himself confirmed he wasn't.

She scrolled down his Facebook page. Some might call it 'stalking her own lecturer' but she preferred the words 'knowing her professor better to only have an educational relationship'.

Something she confirmed about Professor Salahuddin and was really proud of was his bravery. He looked like a silent and calm guy but his Facebook profile proved that he was not afraid to speak up for what he felt as right. LGBTQ rights or feminist thoughts, he was not afraid to share his piece of mind.

He also loved traveling. There were a lot of photos with him at different places. She saw a photo in which he had a Hindu man, wearing white mind and shirtless with a green leaf in his hand, next to him. They were standing just outside some temple. She could not scroll down after that. Was he interested in hinduism? May be I could share some of my knowledge with him.

Sushi shut down her laptop immediately and plopped on her bed. She looked at the ceiling and sighed.

Why was her mind calculating her possibilities with her professor. She should not think about it, ever.

He was totally out of her league. Bisexual or not, he was a Muslim. She would only create a havoc in her family if she chose to be with him.

Shamna had eloped with a boy from a very poor family and bad social background. Her house was like a cemetery for over a month, dead and cold. Her mother used to cry every night and her father started getting angry over simple things.

For a few months, whenever they went out, she had to shut the whispers that surrounded them with her questioning eyes. Sympathetic looks given by others were more emotionally hectic.

Arjun was a barber in a shop in their Neighbour hood. He did not have a government job and this was a major drawback. Moreover he was a prostitute's grandson. Their family statuses were totally different. Shamna's parents had got angry when she said them that she liked him.

Little did her parents know about Shamna's love. She ran away with him , the next day itself.

Salahuddin was well educated and had a 'decent job' but the religion was a barrier and that barrier was pretty tough, perhaps explosive.

Sushi knew that she needed to shrink and destroy that little space in her heart that was growing for Salahuddin.

She sighed and pulled the thick blanket over her head.

Shahma sighed and pulled the blanket , actually just bedsheet, down. She needed water.

She lifted the steel jug, only to notice the weightlessness. She pouted to herself.

She did not want to go downstairs, all alone in the darkness.

She switched on the light in her room and opened the doors. She peeped through the door that was ajar, reciting ayathul kursi and praying Allah to protect her. Two steps were tiptoed and the remaining like sonic , she ran to the switchboard.

She felt relieved once the corridor and the bulb at the lower part of the stair case was lightened up. She climbed down the stairs slowly.

She was about to enter the kitchen when she heard something.

"Do you think that this proposal will work?" She heard her Uppa's voice from the kitchen

"I think so. He is educated so I believe he will look past her skin color.." It was her Umma.

She peeped into the kitchen. Both of them were looking into the phone. They were a little tensed. The dim light concealed their looks but their voice spilled out the secret.

"Education is not everything and a few certificates are not going make men wise, "

"You are right," her umma sighed "I wish someone would recognize my daughter's true beauty and marry her"

"My daughter is beautiful. All those boys were just blind"

" Ikka, she is beautiful but not according to the standards of our people,"

"When will the people change?"

"When you start making your own teas when you need one at midnight,"

"Then what are you for?" Her Uppa patted on her mother's head. "Sit puppy, stand puppy, roll puppy" he did all the signs with his hands and continued when her umma just blankly stared at him with folded arms, "I will give you biscuit, puppy"

Her umma could not hold longer and just burst into a hushed laugh at her husband's craziness.

"I really wish I could fall in love with you" her mother said as she patted him.

"Me too,"

At times, Shahma could not help but wonder if her parents were acting a little too childish but then again if childish is what can bring happiness into their hearts, who is she to stop them.

She cleared her throat.

Both her parents looked at her like they were deers caught in a head light. Her Uppa immediately took the two cups on the table and sipped it. He spilled it and started fanning his tongue as her Umma opened the fridge immediately and took a bottle of cold water.

They were made for each other.

Shahma simply giggled and did what she came for.

She was pretty cheerful when she left the kitchen. Her parents acts really made her grin. The happiness they shared when they had each other, that was what she wanted from a marriage and she was very happy for her parents. However , as she ascended the stairs,the joy shrunk and  shrunk and shrunk, step by step. The initial part of their conversation kicked into her mind.

Why did I ask my parents for help, before even trying to find one on my own!

She was not feeling too good when she entered her room.  She knew that the haunt was about to start again, even if she did not want to.

Her mind was filled with the thoughts about the new proposal. She wished that the 'educated' person was someone like Professor Salahuddin, someone who could appreciate her dark skin. She wondered if his wife was dark skinned or if he was too just a hypocrite. Shahma wondered if he was married. If he is not a hypocrite, he would be a great husband.

She opened her Facebook account and checked out his profile. He was not married. Shahma felt a little smile flash and vanish on her lips. What was she thinking? He was her professor, how could she think about him like that.

She chanted some 'Asthaghfirullah' as she wished that Allah would forgive her. She kept her phone aside and went back to bed.

She twisted and turned on her bed but she did not feel tired and she did not want to sleep. What if the next proposal is another failure?

She did not want to make her parents more sad.

She sat straight and took some deep breaths.

She had that sudden energy inside her, an energy that would not let her sleep in peace. It was way stronger than caffeine and way more venomous that rat poison.

She tied her long hair into a bun and applied a little more fair and lovely on her skin. She took her laptop and she had to choose between YouTube and google. Whichever she chose, she was sure that she would get hundreds of results for what she was about to search for.

She had searched it many times and followed the instructions too but none worked to the extent she wanted it toShe wanted to check out the latest results.

She took YouTube.

She typed on the search bar. "Lighten skin in a week"