Sometimes people do things they regret.

I regret many things, but this is certainly my biggest mistake. My breaking point. Where things started to go downhill completely. To the point hope was impossible to reach.

But this one...It wasn't like the others. You are on the tapes because you are, after all, one of the reasons why I am doing what I am doing.

But this isn't your fault at all. This is mine. All of it.

And that's what hurts the most.

"Welcome to your tape, Ruby Sky"

~

"A talent show?" Moon read aloud. It showed a group of pretty students dancing, and above them the words SHOW YOUR TALENT! In sparkly letters.

"That's crap. We already have, like, five tests to get ready for!" Qibli cried out suddenly.

"But it will certainly lift our spirits!" Kinkajou argued. "It's time to show our amazing skills. Wanna perform as a singing group, guys?"

"Haha, I will sadly have to turn this amazing, once-in-a-lifetime offer down." Moon rolled her eyes at Kinkajou's excitement. "Have fun, though, Kink."

"What do you even do in your free time? Read books?" Kinkajou said quickly, like she would catch a disease of she said them too slowly.

Moon shrugged. "You know. Help my mom. Stuff. Study. Again, stuff."

Stuff. Listen to Winter. Who happens to be a dead boy. Depressing much?

"Can you sing, Moon?" Umber said shyly. "You seem like a girl that would sing really well. You know. Like all the main girl characters in books sing well and makes a handsome dude fall in love with them with their voice."

Ha. Maybe if you sing like a bird, Qibli will come for ya. Like a Disney princess. Que the waterworks, will ya?

She grudgingly pushed the image of Umber in a pink dress out of her head, giggling.

"I don't sing well at all," Moon replied with a straight face. "It's almost sad, because my mother has a really good voice."

Umber shrugged. "Cool."

Moon ate a part of her sandwich. "I think I'm going to focus on studying for a while."

"Booooring." Kinkajou sighed. "Why need to study? You're going to be the first in everything now that Win—"

Her eyes widened. "—I-I mean, you're too smart, uh, already," She finished lamely. "You already have sky high grades."

Now that Winter's gone.

Suddenly, Moon felt sick. It was true, he was always the best in everything in their grade. He had too grades, and he didn't miss out in sports, either.

Were some people celebrating that Winter was dead? Just so they could be the best, now that he was gone?

"Don't say that, Kink. I just try to study hard, that's all," she said, trying to brush the thought away. But it refused to go away, like a lingering parasite in her brain.

"Hey, Moon...about that, can you help me with my math homework? I really don't know what's happening..." Qibli scratched his neck. "And, you know, you're literally the top of the class, so..."

Moon gave him a smile, glad to change the subject. It's good to be needed by my friends. "Of course. I can help you in math class."

"Oh, I..." Qibli blinked quickly. "I...I was going to do something with Umber in math class."

Umber narrowed his eyes. "Oh, yeah...something..."

Moon raised an eyebrow. They had a test in History, so that was out...maybe in Chinese class. "How about Chinese class?"

Qibli furrowed his eyebrows. "No, I can't. I have to...Help the teacher do something. What about after school?"

Moon blinked, surprised. "Oh. Sure? Your house or mine?"

Qibli grinned nervously. "Yours, if that's okay."

Moon shrugged. "Okay."

Qibli have her a grateful grin. That was when she realized...what if this is more than math homework?

Perhaps she knew there would be trouble. Perhaps she ignored it.

Why?

She didn't know herself.

~

"Aghhhh!"

She shakily bent down again. Everything she ate for lunch reappeared once again into the toilet. Her stomach tingled.

She quickly flushed the toilet, covering her mouth. Why was she like this? Why was the horror so strong? His image in her mind...his blue eyes...

Why was the pain so strong?

Or maybe...she was weak.

"It's okay," she whispered to herself. "I'm fine. I fine. I'm fine."

I am not fine.

She put the toilet seat down and sat on it, breathing heavily. "You're strong, Moon. You can go through this." She was trembling.

I am weak. I can't go through this.

She clenched her fists as her eyes for watery. Those days, her mood changed so much and so unexpectedly — it was either a very happy mood, a wanna go home mood, or want to murder a person mood.

Or, most of all, want to see winter mood.

Just keep breathing. It's okay. I'm fine.

She looked down at her watch. Ten minutes.

She quickly put her headphones on. The faster she finished the tapes, the better she would be.

But for now, she would give up anything and everything to hear his voice.

Her sanity. Her life. Her grades.

Even her soul.

~

At young age, I was weak.

So many people described me in two little words: sibling's sidekick. I stuck to my family whenever I could, because, well, everyone either admired them or was scared of them.

I was fine with that.

Whenever Icicle laughed, I laughed. Whenever she jeered, I jeered. Whenever she did something bad, so did I.

I'm very ashamed to say...we bullied so many people, I lost count. We pointed out their weaknesses and laughed at them until they cried or ran away.

Now I know how they felt. Every single one of them. Maybe it's a punishment from the gods themselves. To show me how my victims felt. To show me how much it hurt, over and over again.

And like most punishments, you can't go back, no matter how many times you try and cry and beg. You just... can't.

One day, you came. You happened to be one of Icicle's favorite victim because you were Scarlet's little sister. The hatred between them was strong.

But to be honest, there wasn't much about you to tease. You had beautiful eyes and red hair. Maybe I hated you more because you reminded me of your sister.

Now I know...you should never judge a person li or they are the same person as their sibling. They're not. They have different thoughts, different dreams, and is a whole different person. They have different lives.

But I didn't see that at all. I judged you exactly like you were Scarlet.

My first mistakes.

Icicle and I bullied you intensely. Jeered at the smallest mistakes. Your hair was out of place. You put on weight. You were ugly. You were small.

We made up all kinds of things. But you never minded them, because, well, you knew they weren't true. To be honest, you were an angel. Too kind and too perfect in a strange way, it was almost impossible to find mistakes.

Then it happened.

We didn't know at first. But it started to show, day by day. Your stomach was swallowing until it was impossible to just say it was just fat.

You were pregnant.

I felt horrified. I wanted to stop, because, well, I knew the diffefence between bullying and cruelty. It was a huge difference to bully a girl and a mother. Not that it's good not explainable to do so to either one.

Bullying kills people. It makes people think they're small, when in reality, they're the greatest. It makes people think they're burning out, while they are the most beautiful star.

I told Icicle I wanted to stop. She jeered at me and shoved me to the ground, telling me I was nothing. That I was weak.

She forced me to come with her whenever she teased Ruby. It was my worst punishment.

"Poor baby! How disappointed he must be when he finds someone like you happens to be his mother! Or should I say...it. It's not even a human coming out of a monster like you, is it, slut?"

I was trembling, but you were worse. You had tears in your eyes, which actually shocked me.

"Icicle...stop..." I whispered. She ignored me. Say it a little louder, I told myself. But I couldn't. I was too scared to.

"Who's the father? Who wanted to marry a little weirdo like you? Oh wait...he didn't want you, did he? That's why he left!" Icicle laughed.

I ran away. I couldn't take it anymore. Everyone was turning their faces away, even your friends. They were scared to stand up for a pregnant girl, afraid they would get teased too.

Three months later, the principal insisted everyone came to the gym in Homeroom hour. Everyone was mumbling in curiosity.

He started like this, Ruby. I know you never got to hear it. But don't worry, it was beautiful.

"Strong people do not exist to bully the weak. They exist to protect them. And when the time comes, when even the strongest fall down, the strongest in the mind help them up. That is definition of kindness, teamwork, and trust."

I had clench my fists to not cry.

Why didn't you tell anyone? Why didn't you call for help?

The baby came out too young. The doctor said it was from crying too much and too much stress. There were wounds found on her, which meant people pushed her.

The baby survived, although he was very weak.

His mother didn't.

Ruby, are you watching me, loving the taste of revenge?

Would you ever be able to forgive me?

I wish...I had the courage to tell Icicle to stop. To say it a little louder. To tell a teacher. I wish I wasn't so weak. So scared.

I'm sorry....

Winter started crying, and Moon did too. Life was too painful to bear.

I'm sorry, Ruby...

She started trembling, and the tears didn't stop. she just cried with his voice, wishing he was there with her.

I'm sorry, Ruby...

I'm sorry, Winter...

~

Why do I only write sad things :( I put the weird Pulaski song to cheer you guys up :)) If it makes it any better, the ending will be pretty happy, although it might not go the way you guys might expect...