Qibli

"Do you love me?" He asked her, smiling.

"Yes, sure." She pushed her hair back and patted his hair, staring at something far away. "What do you need? I need to go in a meeting in a few minutes. Please make this quick, I don't have time." She quickly picked up her clipboard and started to write stuff on it.

"Where's Dad?"

BANG.

She had dropped the clipboard and had slapped him. His cheek stung, and tears welled up in his eyes even though he was used to it.

It was the same question every morning, same hope that she would answer, and the said disappointment and he got slapped.

People didn't bother to stare, it happened too frequently.

"Don't you dare to ask me that stupid question again," Cobra hissed, just like she did yesterday and the day before. "I'm going to the meeting and you're going to sit still here. You will not bother anybody and you will not ask questions."

He stared into her merciless eyes. "Do you really love me?"

Why won't you tell me?

Cobra seemed irritated and pushed him roughtly on the chair. "Yes, dear."

He stared as she walked away, smiling and talking to the nearest person like nothing had happened.

Do you really love me?

Yes, dear.

He got used to it eventually. And he sort of believed those lies.

Maybe if you kept saying them, they became the truth.

A few years later, a girl came along. She looked sort of like her— the posture, the just-out-of-reach style, the god complex. Everything else was different, but whenever he looked at her, he thought of Cobra. He couldn't help it. The one person he couldn't win over.

He immediately fell in love with her.

He could tell she fell in love, too. Just not with him.

He kept trying, though. That was his bad habit. He should have left her alone. But a voice in his head kept pushing him on.

He loved her so hard...how could she not love him back?

It was just like the case with Cobra. Their relationship was built on lies. Except that the girl wasn't trying to hurt him. She was genuinely good, genuinely friendly. And that was what made her so hard to let go.

And then seeing her in pain just like Cobra— he wanted to do anything, do everything.

She didn't want him, though.

"Moon...I love you."

The same look of surprise, the hidden irritation, the same pity. But she was thinking about him, how the rejection would affect him. Not herself.

"Please reply."

Are you going to lie like my mother did?

But this was different. If she did, she wouldn't lie because she didn't want him, because she wanted him to stop bothering her. She would do it to protect him from the truth.

It was selfish, but he was so in love, he couldn't help it. He just stared into his eyes, hoping that she would say she loved him back, just hoping, even for a little bit, that she would mean it.

"I...I love you too."

He stared at her. The same voice, the same look. Her expression was the same. He had hoped that it would be different, but she was mirroring Cobra.

The same empty eyes and the same voice, irritated and confused. He reached out and they took his hand, but unwillingly. In a way, by saying those lies, they had rejected him more than they had before.

He had gotten good at detecting lies. So good that he didn't want to know, that he repeated those lies even though they weren't real. And he sometimes believed in them, because they were so sweet, so reassuring.

When he stared into the girl's eyes, it was like he was watching Cobra again.

Do you love me?

"Yes, dear."

"I...I love you too."

...

...Liar.

~

It's not your fault.

-Good Will Hunting

~

Winter

The wigs and makeup didn't work.

They got caught immediately, and were about to get thrown out, except the guards recognized him, and let him in, which was the entire point anyway.

"You might as well take my friends, too, because they can call the police," he offered as they took him by the arms.

"Yeah, we can totally report you," Kinkajou said. "Just take us. Hey, we get it. No hard feelings, right?"

"Like, put us in with the other child captives and stuff," Turtle suggested.

They gave Kinkajou and Turtle suspicious looks, but they got in successfully.

There were, of course, a few flaws in their plan, which was:

-they didn't know where Qibli was

-they were in a trunk of a car

-they were probably going to die

They were thrown into a car and then they drove to the mansion.

This...brought bad memories.

He remembered the gun, the screams. He remembered his sister. He remembered pain. He remembered the darkness.

Just one look at the mansion and that was all it took. The memories came flooding in.

His breathing came quicker and quicker and soon he was shaking. Deep breaths deep breaths deep breaths deepbreathsdeepbreathsdeepbreaths—

He made a little choking sound, and that was when Kinkajou reached and rested a hand on his shoulder. She looked at him sympathetically. "It's okay. It's not your fault. Just remember to breathe."

"I-I can't," He said, staring at his shaky hands. I wasn't always like this. I didn't make myself like this. So who did?

"Remember to breathe," Kinkajou repeated. They were getting closer, and soon they would go in, and he would stare at the walls again, and remember the empty house, and remember his brother, and maybe he would even meet his mother, who would stare at him again with those disappointed, disgusted eyes.

And he remembered. He remembered so many things. He remembered Hailstorm, he remembered Icicle, he remembered the tapes, he remembered his mother and what she had done.

It's okay.

He remembered the truth, the one that he couldn't face.

It's not your fault.

He remembered his father, and the blood, and the pain.

Just remember to breathe.

He stared at the mansion, and stared at Kinkajou in disbelief. Kinkajou stared back, her eyes level. And then he stared  at the hand on his shoulder.

He was reaching out then, in a split, mad second. He wasn't sure what he was doing.

But before he could pull back, Kinkajou jumped on him and hugged him. "Don't ever keep that sort of stuff to yourself ever again!" She said. Her body was weirdly shaking. It took a moment before he realized she was crying.

"T-thank you," he said, leaning on her, closing his eyes and letting his tears spill, the ones he had held on for so long because he had no one to hold onto. "Thank you so much."

And then Turtle's hand was on his back, and they were all sobbing, and they were all remembering, and they were leaning on each other, pushing through the things they couldn't have done alone.

~

It's okay. It's not your fault. Just remember to breathe.

~

...my writer's block is over. I have the story planned out, I'm going to keep writing until I finish.

This chapter is dedicated to PrincessSunnyy (I know you will read this, you always have, one of the main reasons I haven't flipped the table and deleted this weird bunch of words)

And to Dragon_GurlWoF because this dude is the reason I started this again.

I'm sorry to everyone that are looking at me like this because a lot of people showered me with inspirational words:

ಠ_ಠ

And to everyone else that is reading this. Your votes make me smile and your comments make my day. I'll keep trying to write.

To everyone going through a hard time, it's okay.

It's okay to take a break sometimes.

It's okay to feel sad.

It's okay to feel that people don't get you, that people don't appreciate you.

It's not your fault.

It's not your fault that the world is a wreck and that everyone is suffering.

Just remember to breathe.