I close my window due to the breeze, as the sky grows cloudy. My tired eyes remain restless in the night though, because it will be here soon. It is a creature of habit, and it will come. I'm ready for it this time, I am.

It left early as usual, after its rage subsided into tears and confusion. But it's gone too far. I've grown too much. The cycle will not repeat again mom, I promise. I'm watching the clock, and I know when it will return.

I may not have much ma, and I know you struggle to deal with it all. But I can finally help, tonight. You may not have the strength or will to do it, but I do. I do, I promise ma.

All I'm wearing is my grey hoodie and these ripped jeans, but I won't need armor ma. I won't. I have it's secret weapon. My view leaves the window, and I take a seat on my worn and tired bed, and it creaks as I apply the pressure.

I slide my hand behind my shelf, and pull out the weapon carefully. It was a cold and merciless weapon, ready for the single action it needs. I stole it from it's closet, mom.

I did the research, in the back of my class. How to use it, pull the safety off and cock it. I know ma, I'm ready for this. I'm ready for this! But I still need to wait...

But it will only take a moment, be a moment! I'm watching that cheap alarm clock, I turned it toward me to be sure. The moonlight bleeds through the clouds, and shines a silver light on the savior in my hands.

Remember to hold a steady breath. Self defense. You do this for your family, and you can't let the nerves get you. If you hesitate, it will get you. And it will hurt you again, it will hurt ma again. You can't let that happen.

This is for ma, the only present I can afford to give. The blood of the monster against our wooden floor. It's head locked back still up against the door.

Oh ma, I know this isn't what you want... You want things to be like the past. When he wasn't drinkin, when he was okay. But he's went too far, ma. He's lost himself, so I need to free him. Ma, your clothes shouldn't have blood stains. You shouldn't have bruises...

The alarm goes off, it's 2 o'clock. The nerves come back and my heart drops. I take deep breaths, turn off the clock. He can't expect it, he can't be ready. I stand up, and harden my legs.

He's not my dad anymore, he's not. He's a demon within a corpse of what he was. He let go, and he deserves to pay the toll. Right, ma? I check the pistol one more time, all slots are full. Safety is gone.

I click it in, look at the door. And that hard knock comes into the main room. Reverberates unsteadily. Don't worry, ma. It dies tonight, in just a moment...