THE TRUTH UNTOLD
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
❝YOU KNOW THAT I CAN'T SHOW YOU ME, GIVE YOU ME. I CAN'T GIVE YOU A RUN-DOWN PART OF MYSELF, SO I WEAR A MASK AGAIN AND GO TO SEE YOU. BUT I STILL WANT YOU.❞

♔ ♔ ♔

      It hurts more than he could've ever imagined. It was almost like something in him had just died, gave out because of pain because that's what he wanted to do which was to give up. It was excruciating, unforgiving. His heart felt like it was going to stop, tap out because of its uncertainty. His chest tightened like there was something on top of it, the weight of it all now bestowed upon his chest. Her words were like an attack, unforgiving and unexpected.

      He never thought she'd be able to hurt him this badly, wound him with something as simple as words through a screen. And though they weren't together, though they were separated by screens and words behind a pixelated image, it was almost like she was there spitting those words to his friends. Those venomous words that he could hear her bewitching voice say. It was like she was right behind him, hands caressing down his chest and face as she whispers the very words he read in his head, her voice sweetly speaking those dangerous words into his ear.

tommy boy:
i don't understand what you're saying or why you're saying this
delivered 1:39 PM

tommy boy:
please
delivered 1:39 PM

tommy boy:
if this is about me having to wait then fuck that because i can for you until this all blows over
delivered 1:39 PM

tommy boy:
i don't care if we have to hide this and keep it like some dirty secret because i care about you so much and i want this so badly
delivered 1:40 PM

rosie girl:
i just don't feel the same way anymore
delivered 1:41 PM

rosie girl:
maybe it's because you liking me wasn't something i expected to happen and now that it has it's not what i thought it'd be like
delivered 1:41 PM

rosie girl:
i kind of felt like this for awhile and now i'm sure
delivered 1:42 PM

rosie girl:
i don't like you that way, not anymore
delivered 1:42 PM

rosie girl:
i think what it was was this fascination with you, me being cliche and falling in love with my best friend because you were always there for me
delivered 1:42 PM

rosie girl:
you'll find someone better i know you
delivered 1:42 PM

rosie girl:
i'm nothing
delivered 1:43 PM

tommy boy:
shut up shut up
delivered 1:43 PM

tommy boy:
you wouldn't do this to me so what's really going on
delivered 1:43 PM

tommy boy:
because i can't breathe and i'm freaking out because of everything you're saying and because of how much i love you and i'm so scared so please stop joking around
delivered 1:43 PM

rosie girl:
you don't mean that
delivered 1:44 PM

rosie girl:
tom we weren't even properly together you can't possibly love me that quickly
delivered 1:44 PM

tommy boy:
you're sugarcoating this
delivered 1:45 PM

tommy boy:
before you even decide to end things please let me know what's wrong
delivered 1:45 PM

rosie girl:
you're still my best friend
delivered 1:45 PM

tommy boy:
stop fucking around and tell me why
delivered 1:45 PM

rosie girl:
tom please
delivered 1:46 PM

tommy boy:
roseanne if you're going to end this then fucking tell me why
delivered 1:46 PM

tommy boy:
i know you and i know that you care for me too and if you're doing this because you think it'd be better for me or to make whatever's going on easier for me than stop
delivered 1:46 PM

tommy boy:
because you doing this won't solve anything and won't spare me from hurting any less than i could've
delivered 1:46 PM

tommy boy:
you're not being a hero by doing this shit
delivered 1:46 PM

rosie girl:
is it so hard for you to accept that i don't feel this way anymore? that i'm not the girl who would fawn over you and obsess over you?
delivered 1:47 PM

rosie girl:
i don't love you tom at least not in that way
delivered 1:47 PM

rosie girl:
we were both so stupid to think that this'll work, that we'd end up like those stories about best friends falling in love with each other and get a fucking happily ever after
delivered 1:47 PM

rosie girl:
but we took a risk that we weren't meant to take, we were just meant to be best friends and that's that
delivered 1:47 PM

rosie girl:
you're still my best friend and nothing will change that
delivered 1:47 PM

tommy boy:
stop lying to me
delivered 1:47 PM

rosie girl:
fine
delivered 1:48 PM

rosie girl:
you were nothing like i expected and i guess i can't help but always see you as just my best friend
delivered 1:48 PM

rosie girl:
it wasn't your fault okay it was mine
delivered 1:48 PM

rosie girl:
i don't want this to ruin us tom
delivered 1:48 PM

rosie girl:
please
delivered 1:48 PM

tommy boy:
fine if this is what you want
delivered 1:48 PM

tommy boy:
i'll respect that
delivered 1:48 PM

tommy boy:
but i'll be damned if i give up now
deleted 1:49 PM

♔ ♔ ♔

      He couldn't get her words out of his head, and it didn't exactly help that his mind was making matters worse. She wasn't here with him or even close in proximity, she was in her hotel room probably with either Sora or Noah, talking about something she'd dismiss to him and say he wouldn't understand. And it reminded him of the times where they'd laid in her bed, talking about her book or his movies, anything. He loves the way her eyes would light up when she'd talk about Reyna and Theo and he recalls that there was once a time where she'd look at him with that same look in her eyes.

      But in his rather large trailer, it was as if she was there as well. As he sat on the couch he imagined her sitting behind him, lips pressed against his ears as she'd whisper harsh words, hands running up and down his chest, her touch nothing but painful at this point. Tom could almost smell the lavender, smell the traces of her. And her touch seemed all so real, too real, but the actor knew in his heart that his sick, hurt mind was playing tricks with him, trying to heal the wounds she had left open and gaping to get infected.

      He sat with his elbows resting on top of his thighs, head lowered and hair tangled in his fingers as he tried to calm himself down. Tears rolled from his eyes to only fall onto the carpeted ground, his heavy breathing interrupted every once in awhile with hiccups and choked sobs that he tried to repress, and his skin cold and numb to touch. 

      It's not possible. She loves you, you're the one, she said it herself, he tried telling himself. He couldn't overreact or else it'd make matters worse. He had to calm down. She loves you, it's always been you.

      But what if she's right, his subconscious added, playing devil's advocate. What if she truly doesn't love you? What if you weren't what she expected?

      No, no shut up, he told himself. You're a great guy, you're a great boyfriend. Rosie wouldn't do this to you, not you of all people. There has to be a reason why. Just give her some time and breathe, you need to breathe, Tom.

      And what if the reason is that you weren't good enough and she realized that?

      No. No, it couldn't be.

      You were her first love. What if you weren't up to her expectations?

      That's not true.

      It could be.

      Stop.

tommy:
i need you
delivered 4:03 PM

cams:
i'm here
delivered 4:04 PM

      Camille.

♔ ♔ ♔

A/N;

After months and months, I have finally updated! I'm sorry for the long wait, I couldn't come up with anything until now. And this isn't me trying to be mean and rip your hearts out by not updating, but because I genuinely couldn't come up with anything.

And if you want to know how messed up I am, just know I updated because I've been upset that I've lost my angst touch and what better way to bring it up than the story that is nothing but angst.

Dedicated to starfragment because I love Catie and Satan lives for angst!

Much Love Guys.

( written: july 8, 2018 )
( published: july 8, 2018 )