" I am definitely perceived as perfect. Honestly, I won't deny anyone's compliments. Because, I believe a compliment is genuine, and should be taken seriously. That doesn't mean when I say thank you, that I'm taking the compliment. I'm thanking someone for the kind words, not necessarily taking the compliment, if that makes any sense. " I take a small pause before continuing.
" So, in return, people think I'm being selfish, right? That's true. People think I am so perfect that the image that they imagine is completely giving unrealistic standards for me. " Everyone nods and listens closely to my ranting, giving me my full attention that I desired.
" Further more to this, that makes me selfish as well. Let me put Jamie for example. I see him as so stunningly perfect, no flaws, no stops in his system. When their is a stop I see it as a break, not a downward spiral to his grave. That is exactly what makes me selfish. My standards are so unrealistic for him. I am giving him that extra mind nausea to push more and more stress onto him. All from the standards placed over him. I can't help being selfish. It doesn't sound selfish though. What makes me even more selfish is the fact that I keep him safe for myself. I want him to be unharmed from life's will so, I protect him. I want him to feel well so, I try to give him the love he deserves.If he needs something it is my only desire to give it to him. It is all very selfish of me. I'm only thinking of myself to take care of him. Makes no sense at all, I know that. But, it's true, I am a selfish person and, I sure won't deny that fact." Everyone stopped and looked at me in complete and utter disbelief of what had just poured out of my mouth, all a shock. It didn't mind me though because, I knew it was true and that is all that matters.
" The conclusion is: I take care of others will to fulfill my own will. In that making me extraordinarily selfish and, that seems ever so normal. " A few of the guests in the room had covered their mouths in the shock filling the room. No one had believed me, no one at all. It really is a shame when the world can't see the villains and the heros apart. All of these heros can't see their worst enemy sitting right in front of them, or the horrible truth they've been told. What a shame.
What a real shame.