I struggled out my one breath that was my shining factor of life and death, trying to configure the new life I was living, now past death. I shivered at the shake in my breath, only letting out a small gasp of my known, lively voice, now pushed down to almost a sickly squirm in attempt to speak, only to fail.
I rummaged through the place I called home,as a child, whispering to the girl next to me, as she whispered back in response to my death like remark.
I spoke of the struggles people could hear a few rooms away, my screams, my cries, and maybe the bashing of wooden utensils hitting the wall.
My silvery voice could finally be heard amongst the crowd of finely dressed men and women, I wasn't loud at all, barely over my whisper from before from the girl clothed in my childhood suit I wore to my mother's grave celebration. The whole party was vows of kindness and sobs of regret from her murderously sweet voice. The honey covering her voice made me think she was as sweet as the honey smeared across her mouth- she wasn't any better at all. She was but only two faced.
I played my ukulele to the happy tune and sang the small songs of hope and the beauty of living, which was not what I have ever felt. I tapped my toes to the upbeat, letting my nail bleed from the pressure, though no one noticed, no one seemed to ever really notice the red waterfall that poured from my fingertips. That doesn't entirely hold the value that people think I hold this, almost, non existent, said value in my mind. My dreams had died along with my figurative life from that long day and suffering night.
I snapped to reality looking down at the plate in front of me, filled with extravagantly placed food, smiling at the nice young woman I had met at the store just the other day. A heavy pink blush covered her button features, eyes lighting up at the supposed perfection sitting below her nose. I humored her, unconsciously, and giggled at her blush, creating more of a red halo around her ears as she hustled to her original place around the room. It left me wondering why people acted this way to me, that I am still not sure of.
I spoke of assistance to the little girl to pass a knife for the meal prepared for me. She happily agreed and reached over the table, as she stood and pulled her shirt down so her skin wasn't overly exposed. She sat and handed the knife over, that I slid in my pocket without her noticing.
My mind felt like a flow of water, silky but the small dizzy feeling of being under started to grow, letting my head fall back once, maybe my side hitting my shoulder, or not quite hitting. I coughed into the torn jacket I had only bought this morning, sadly it had ripped from trying to help my waitress pick up a heavy load.
My smile looked completely natural, as did my voice, but I only felt like dropping dead at any moment. Not from the illness my mind felt like, my whole body left like it was tired, not fed with the right nutrients. I shifted my foot placement to help me before I had fallen over, sending red flags to everyone in the room as they turned with haste contemplating my health.
I briefly noticed my vision wasn't clear either. Like slow frames to a game, I would turn, there was a drag from my site. Realizing my reality made the ocean in my mind push pressure to the back of my head, my forehead throbbed from the odd headache formed. I quickly stood to call my newly wedded husband, but before I could I tripped over my own feet and the legs of the chair I was sitting in only a few seconds before. I knew what was happening was wrong, I reached out for the wall, But it was much farther away then I thought it was. I fell right over my chair I was given as it took a blunt push to my new lungs, my vision went black.
I layed down, unable to move or breath. I could feel my left ankle sting and burn, leaving a horrible pain after each sting. I could feel blood run into my pant leg and sock, ruining the color. It smeared all over the floor as the same amount of blood fell out of my mouth, still unable to take a breath. I lied there completely aware of my surroundings, unable to respond.
I quickly shifted my leg feeling the stabbing pain of the switch knife I had put in my pocket.
                The men and women scurried to my area with panic as I lay unresponsive. People poked and pulled at my body in attempt to wake me up,but that never seemed to work.
                  Nothing else had gone on other then the blood gushing out of my body, my mind completely blank as I fell down the path of death once more.