(Off story from my main series( title in quotes, first starting with wedding vows))




               My mind was silent, no where to find any thought-
I was dead. 
                My body was lifeless as the doctors and nurses passed knives and scalpels around, cutting open my chest, hearing the small pops and cracks of my bones being ripped from my body, attempting to reach my heart. To maybe, possibly, giving a small chance, to bring my heart back to its normal beat, because there was none to be found.  
               These people could never bring my heart back to its true form. 

               At that moment I completely shut down, my mind died along with the heartbeat that had been dead long before my mind had the time. 
               The monitor next to me let out a flat toned noise, telling the men and women around me that my body officially let loose from life. A panic stirred as they tried to electrocute my beats per minute to a small bit of a number. 

nothing.

               My body didn't respond to the hurry to save itself. My dreadful, painful life had been depicted before me. 
             
               only the things I would never do. 

                I would never walk down the isle with my beloved fiance, I would never see how lovely he looks in a suit with his makeup done to the perfection he shows on a daily bases. I would never see how much the glow of his eyes reflect the love and pride of the occasion, or how he walks, how I would hold his hands, his waist, his jaw, or even touch his silk like hair. 
             
   I would never see him again. 

               Those thoughts collapsed into my sleep like death, drifting off into what seemed like the most selfish way to leave. Death itself seemed as myself to be selfish, along with the things I could never do or say to the ones I loved so dearly. 

                " Goodbye" is something I never had the chance to say. 


                That's what I had thought and what I'm still thinking about to this day. How selfish I was to die on my beautiful fall. 
                Only about five hours did I then wake up to my own blood and organs being removed from my, before, lifeless body. I screamed in terror, fearing my own blood and bones. 
               Nothing was said but the wheeze of anesthetics being pushed into my body, pulling my heart to a slow, my thoughts to a dim love to see the one I love so much. 
                The last moments before the surgery was the last few minutes I thought I would send his way. WIth broken exchanges of 
" I love you" and,
" Til death do us part my love." 
Then is when I died a cruel death to only be back a few hours later. Already putting his life in danger for the loss of my own life. 

                 Back in the world only to be out of it half way, heart beating, blood flowing, thinking and breathing. To see my darling once more and forever on.