I dart out of the washroom, away from the boys, away from my thoughts and bring all my focus and attention only on counting my footsteps on the smooth tile that vibrates with the pounding of my feet. And the acceleration of my heart.

      1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59–

  Thump!

    I slam into a hard boulders before I can even make it out the building. My body slides sideways, all the air rushed out of me, my counting forgotten as I'm free falling.

     Before I can crash, strong hands swoop me up, an arm wrapped around my waist and the other on my forehead. For a second our eyes lock, but I quickly look away. It wasn't a boulder after all, but Axel himself.

     "Go easy there Miss Kiss."

     I roll my eyes and steady my heart.

     "If I'm correct, it was basically your fault I almost fell."

     "I did try to warn you. I called when you left the restroom, but I don't think you heard me. So I took a short cut here."

     I swallow hard. Was I really that into my counting? I zoomed out didn't I? Ugh, this looks bad. Wait, did he really just say he took the short cut to find me? Okay, not weird at all. Nope.

     Lie.

     "I—I have cramps. Terrible ones. I should have asked your permission to leave early, but the pain," I bent over clutching my abdomen. "I can feel my uterus contracting over and over, almost as if it's ripping itself apart and putting itself together all over again. For a split second it goes away only to attack in full force."

     He looks away, uncomfortable so I continue, "Almost like giving birth, only less slightly traumatic."

     "Alright. So that's why you were rushing out of here? For the fifth time this month?"

     "Yep. Running relives the pain." Any pain. I muster the largest smile.

     "Okay. You can go, but next time. Tell me. I need to know," he pleads releasing me, "And I can't have you running away every time you don't feel well, especially since we're short staffed."

     "Yes, it won't happen."

     He nods and I run out of there. Out of the building, out of everything that holds me down. And I run, faster and faster. The artificial wind wildly whipping the hair in my face, making me feel slightly less dead inside.

     I run past the building where we buy supplies, I run past the school where a handful of children are playing with rope, I run past my apartment, past buildings, past fields of grains, past fields of flowers that stretch far and wide. I run even as my lungs burn, even as my heart thumps out of control, even as I feel myself slipping out of touch, spiraling out of range. I run even as people shout at me to stop, but it could be just the wind playing with my mind. I run, I keep running until I'm centimeters from reaching the wall when I'm thrust back with such a force that I black out as my head slams on the earth beneath some wild dandelions.

_

     I moan, something unintelligible coming out of my lips before I lift a hand to my pounding, irritated head. "Awake now, Kiss?" That voice, I know that voice. But who? To whom does that kind, gentle voice belong too? Who? Who? Who?

     "Who? Wha- what happened?"

    "You Miss Kiss got a bit too close to the force field surrounding the ford."

   "How? It's only outside."

    "Not anymore." he says checking my pulse then adding, "It's both inside and outside and anything remotely near gets yanked back. If I didn't know any better I would say it was suicide."

    "So no one can leave Fort Dawn?"

    "No, well technically they can with permission. But no one has ever left," The voice's getting closer, almost brushing my cheek. "now why would we want that?"

     "I can't run near the walls anymore?"

     "Not if you want to get zapped again. You're lucky the frequency was low or you'd have fried, Sky."

      I force my eyes to open and my head to steady itself and here I was, in a field of wild flowers with Carson, who loved to put people in their place.

     He bends down offering me his hand, "Let's take you home."

     I grab it with a glint in my eyes, pulling him down with me.

     He protests, chuckling but before he can make a dash for it I slap my hand on his chest preventing him from getting up.

     I plead with my eyes. I rarely ever get to see you. I miss us. I miss you, me, and Alyssa. Together like old days before responsibility came barging in. Before when everything was but a dream wrapped in giggles and laughter. I plead it all, everything from the depths of my soul, everything that I want to say, but my lips only form these words that rage from my heart, "Can we just stay here for a while?"

     He nods and strokes my hair, whispering the song of our childhood and my eyes, without my consent, begins to flutter ever so slowly, closing in on itself. And wrapping me in its embrace, an embrace I so longed for.

     And we stay, our backs pressed on the soft bed of grass and sparse wild flowers that provide a cushion on our heads.

     "What happened to us?" I whisper after a while, inaudible, "What happened?"

     He stops the song, stops stroking me, "Hey would you look at that, Sky."

     "Hmm?"

     He nudges me as I open my eyes, glancing at his light brown ones as he sits up twirling blue bachelor buttons on his hands, "These rarely grow here as their's not much sun exposure."
I follow his gaze to the few littered bachelor buttons and I pluck one out of earth, "I guess they adapted to our world, surviving against all odds, huh?"

     He nods and silence settles after. I clutch the wildflower in my palm.

    "You have to stop, Sky."

     "What?" I question my eyebrows furrowed, not understanding he's implication.

     "You can't run every time something gets hard." he looks away, glances around the field, around the perimeter, then lens in even closer, "Careful."

     His eyes swirling with emotions, trying to tell me more than his lips. Careful. That word plays around inside my head. I can't seem to control myself, always so impulsive. Does he know? Does he know why I run? Why I stare at our artificial sky? Why I crave more, need more than what life is left? It seems stupid and unrealistic to want to leave when I'm safe. When I have everything, everything someone from out there would want. Not like their's anyone left anyway. These walls all but close in on me. That's why I run.

     "Don't run too far." he adds louder and picks himself up, brushing sand from his black buttoned-up uniform. Then stretches out a hand, which I gladly take and we walk to our apartment in silence.

     I don't sleep all night. I toss and turn. Carson's words on repeat. I wish I could ask him more, but he's not here. He was called away as we arrived. And I quickly packed him dinner to go. Everything a blur of colors and I barely made it to my room before exhaustion took over my body.

     My mind though remained active, constantly forming ideas and scenarios of earlier today. Careful. That word bounces in my head, the flower now pale in my hand.