In the two and a half years we dated, Ander Marcs had never stepped foot in my house. Even when he'd drive me home, he'd always drop me off several houses away to ensure our affair remained secret. Though he couldn't get in trouble for it, Ander worked harder to hide our relationship than I did. Until now. Directly after our biggest fight and surely the termination of our romance, he turned up at my front door.

What reason could he have other than revenge? To inform my father that I'd broken the law and disgraced the Bennett name?

I was fairly certain Dad would let me stay. He wouldn't report me to the Patri, and unless Ander took that step himself, I'd remain out of custody. But even if Dad let me live under his roof, that wouldn't mean he'd care about me. With one sentence, Ander could decimate any faith my father had in his daughter.

"Ander says you've known each other for quite some time, Jeanie?" Dad ventured, raising an eyebrow in my direction. I couldn't gage his tone. Was he furious?

"I guess we have...Sort of..." I managed, staring daggers at my former lover. I don't know how, but I'll find a way to get you back for this, Ander. Even the meek voices in my mind quieted to make way for the growling words of vengeance.

"Yeah," Ander agreed, running his hand through his untidy hair. He flashed the grin I knew was reserved for any one of authority. Kiss ass. "I've been in classes with Jean since freshman year. She's always been a great student."

Jean? What was he playing at? Ander only used my legal name when we pretended we didn't know each other. My breathing came easier. Maybe he hadn't told.

"Oh, yeah. Andy, right?" I asked, tilting my head to the side. I couldn't decide if I'd sooner kiss him out of relief or slap him for driving me insane.

"Ander," he corrected, dimples deepening as he turned to Dad. "I help out in Headmaster Ervin's office, and it seems Jean left a notebook in there while she was visiting with him." Ander held up a dark purple spiral book I'd never seen before.

He remembered your favorite color, the meek voice cooed.

Doesn't explain why he's here, the moody voice reminded.

I didn't miss a beat. We'd been pulling off these charades for so long that, despite being furious with Ander, I could hop in on his rouse as if it had been rehearsed.

Forcing my eyes to widen in surprise as I took the notebook, I smiled with polite nonchalance. "I didn't even notice this was missing. Tell Doctor Ervin thank you if you see him soon?"

Ander laughed brightly. "Hey, I'm the one who drove it all the way here."

I burned to ask him exactly why he'd driven a notebook that wasn't mine all the way here, but I forced my tone to be casual. He hadn't given me up yet, and I certainly wasn't going to give him more reason to. "Well, thank you too, then."

"Steven?" Mom's voice filtered from the kitchen, along with the clinking of silverware and various chatter. "Who's at the door."

"A schoolmate of Jeanie's," Dad called back, shaking his head slightly at the hollered exchange of information.

Moments later, Mom appeared beside me, taking full stock of Ander from his mop of chestnut hair, to his spotless sneakers.

He held out his hand, smiling eagerly. "A pleasure to meet you, Missus Bennett. I'm Ander Marcs. Just returning a notebook Jean forgot on campus."

Mom shook his hand, seeming taken aback by his almost aggressive kindness. "You went to all that trouble just to bring Jeanie a notebook? How far do you live from here?"

"Not too far. Just about two and half hours or so." Ander brushed it off as if the distance were a mere ten minutes.

"Two and a half hours?" Mom glanced at the black clock on the cream colored wall. The glowing digital numbers read 7:47. "It'll be after ten o'clock by then. You can't have gone that far out of your way to bring back a notebook!"

"What can I say?" Ander ran a hand through his hair again, a habit of his. "Didn't know if I'd get a chance to return it, and Doctor Ervin said it might be important."

"You were sent all the way here by Doctor Ervin?" Mom repeated, glaring a hole through Ander's never faltering smile. If anyone could see through this charade it would be her. Or Elaine. She held Ander's gaze for a moment longer. "Well, Jeanie, we certainly wouldn't want to flout one of the Headmaster's henchmen, now would we?"

Ervin's henchman? Apparently, Ander couldn't be further from that. "No... I suppose not?"

"Then I suppose Mister Marcs will have to stay for dinner," Mom decided, placing her hands on her hips. "That's assuming Michael hasn't already wolfed down all the beef."

Odd. I'd never heard Mom say anything that wasn't gushing praise for her son-in-law. "Are you sure that's best?" I managed. The last thing I needed was more time stuck with my ex-boyfriend, especially when surrounded by family who could never find out about our affair. "Wouldn't Ander want to get home?"

"We can't let him go hungry," Mom retorted, already returning to the kitchen.

Dad scratched at his patchy beard. "Why don't we leave it up to Ander?"

I cast Ander a pleading look. Please leave. Please. If you ever cared about me-

"I am pretty hungry," Ander admitted. "Thank you so much for the offer. I can't tell you how grateful I am for a nice home-cooked meal after living off college food."

Damn you. I turned on my heel and strutted back into the kitchen, not giving Ander another glance. As he followed, I could feel that cocky grin of his on my back. Oh, he was just loving this. He had all the power, and I could do nothing but bite my tongue.

Still refusing to look at Ander, I sank back into my chair. I'd lost most of my appetite, but shoveled food into my face simply to avoid being wrapped into a conversation.

Ander entertained my family with banal stories about college, that they seemed to find utterly fascinating. I wasn't impressed, but listened carefully, just in case his narratives took a dangerous turn.

"So, how do you know Jeanie again?" Elaine inquired, eyes narrowing behind her thick glasses. If Mom couldn't see through him, it would be Elaine. Unlike my parents, she didn't pretend their divergent daughter was a sinless angel. She knew better.

Ander smiled at Elaine brightly, leaning close to her as he spoke. "She was in my class freshman year. Quiet, funny sort of girl. She didn't socialize much, but she seemed smart."

I glared daggers at my former lover. Funny girl? Seemed smart? As in, past tense?

Elaine giggled, running a hand through her pixie cut hair. "She's always been a nerd. So, Ander, you're how old? Twenty?"

Gross. I almost choked upon witnessing Elaine's pathetic flirting. She didn't hesitate to wrap a boy around her finger whenever she could, but she didn't realize that Ander wasn't interested in her. He was just Ander—overly friendly and personable with everyone he met. His smiles and winks meant nothing, but I didn't like how eagerly my little sister gobbled them up. She'd bat her eyes for anyone, if only to see our parents squirm.

"Twenty-two," Ander answered, unfazed by Elaine's forwardness. "You must be at least twenty yourself, right?"

Mom placed her hand on Elaine's wrist. "She's seventeen."

Elaine scowled, yanking her arm away. "Back off. We were just talking."

"Seventeen?" Ander inquired, effortlessly steering the conversation. I'd always been baffled by his impeccable people skills. "You must be almost done with your Mandatory Schooling then. Will you be going off to college like your sister?"

"Hopefully Elaine will be influenced by her other sister," Dad grumbled, causing Mally to glow at the praise.

"And why is that, Sir?" Ander asked, pursing his lips. "I don't doubt your eldest daughter would be a wonderful influence, but why would Jeanie's not be just as positive?"

"'Cause she's a humongous disappointment," John snorted, still scarfing down his meal.

"Shut up, jerk!" I kicked John under the table, making sure it was not too hard.

"Jeanie," Dad warned. "That's no way to speak to your brother. You must show him respect."

"Yes, Dad," I sighed. At least I refrained from calling him an asshole this time. You should be proud of me.

"To answer your question, Ander," Mom interrupted, shooting me a glare. "While we love Jeanie despite her alternate lifestyle, we hope our youngest daughter will amount to far more than a Learned. Steven and I don't want Jeanie's rebelliousness to rub off on Elaine."

"From what I've seen, Jeanie is hardly rebellious." Ander didn't look at me, but I could practically feel him calling me out for my lack of rebellion. Why would I rebel against my country, Ander? I'm not going to rebel against a wonderful country simply to be rebellious. "Besides, I wouldn't call going to college rebellious. I'd call it smart. It's getting an education that lets us be independent."

"It's not the place of my daughters to be independent," Dad muttered, staring down the unflinching Ander. "It's their place to find a husband and give me grandchildren. I won't let Elaine disappoint me like Jeanie already has."

The silence that followed practically choked me. Disappointment? I'd always known Dad and Mom weren't exactly thrilled I'd chosen to go to Carthowa, but I still thought they were proud of me... Dad had told me he was proud of me... after my speech, he told me he was proud... I glared at the Mark of Learned Females, jeering at me from my wrist. Maybe I would have been better off marrying...

Elaine put her foot on top of mine under the table. I glanced up, meeting her eyes. She narrowed her gaze at me, mutely comforting.

The horrible silence prevailed. Even John ceased his constant noisiness. No one spoke for what felt like hours, even if it couldn't have been more than a minute.

Finally, Ander set down his fork with a clink, his half eaten beef grown cold. His smile had faded. My former lover turned to my father. "You know, Sir, you remind me a lot of my grandfather. He always wanted what he thought was best for my mom—did everything to mold her into a model Trujohn citizen."

Dad eyed him, but cleared his throat. "It's up to me to make sure they do well in life. Your grandfather must have been a smart man. Thank you, Mister Marcs."

"I think he was, Mister Bennett," Ander agreed, his smile never returning. The emotionlessness on his face was disconcerting. I'd never seen him so intensely apathetic. "But I didn't mean that as a compliment."

It would have been bad form to force Ander to leave. My father couldn't give in to his rage without losing the upper hand age deluded him into believing he had. He simply glared at Ander, daring him to stay a moment longer.

I wasn't sure how much longer Dad could hold back his anger, but thankfully Ander knew better than to push him further. His chair screeching across the tile floor tore jagged holes in the blanket of silence. Ander stood stiffly, offering a tentative smile to Mom. "Thank you for your hospitality, Missus Bennett. The food was excellent."

Mom didn't move, staring at her still full plate. To acknowledge Ander politely would be to disobey her husband.

Ander simply nodded, surveying the table once more. "It was a pleasure to meet you all. Especially you, Elaine. Good luck with your future."

Elaine, for once, didn't speak. She smiled hesitantly and dipped her head. I wondered if she might consider taking the Mark and actually doing something with her life. Something more than sleeping around and flipping off the Patri.

I bit my lip as Ander backed away. Talking to him wasn't something I wanted to do... but it almost seemed more tempting than sitting here any longer. Besides, I did want to know what the hell he was thinking showing up at my house uninvited. I shot a pointed look at my father. "Dad, may I be excused? I hate to disappoint, but it seems I've lost my appetite."

"Go," Dad grunted, not even sparing me a glance.

"Ander, hold up. I'll show you out." I stood up quickly, following Ander out of the kitchen.
My heart clenched. Now that I knew how Dad really felt about me... he stopped pretending to care. I'd never be perfect like Mally. I'd always be a disappointment.

((Well, Ander might not have told on Jeanie, but her father dropped a bomb instead.

If you were a Trujohnese woman, Would you have taken the Mark of Learned Females?

Do you think Elaine will choose the Mark?

Dedications

Restuva : it seems You will never cease to be Jeanie's most loyal follower. I can't tell you how much your comments mean to me. Thank you for taking the time to visit Trujohn.