I'd hardly been listening to my father's belabored lecture. From the few words I caught, he was hardly aware what he was saying, so I suppose it didn't particularly matter. It was something about how I'd disgraced the family. As if I didn't already know that.

When Dad ran his hand through his stubbly beard with enough ferocity I was surprised it didn't rip from his face, I looked up. Upon seeing his hard, pink eyes I hastened my gaze back to my lap.

"I just don't know what you were thinking," Dad grunted. "I knew you were hardly the model child, but I never thought you'd actually break a law."

"Why is it a law, Dad?" My lips were moving before I knew what I was saying. "Why is it a crime for me to have a relationship out of wedlock, but not for Ander?"

"Because you're a girl, Jean," he retorted.

"Yeah, I know that." I looked up at my father, staring him down. "But can you give me one valid reason why it matters?"

He deliberated for a few seconds, but that pause was enough to give me an answer. He couldn't think of anything. There was no answer, no reason, other than the fact that the Patri or the Father had passed a law years ago.

Finally, Dad shook his head. "I told you I wasn't going to call the Patri. Don't make me go back on my word. I will if you show me you can't repent. If you're not willing to be an asset to Trujohn I'll let the Patri deal with you. Don't think they'd give you a second chance like I am."

I hung my head. The Patri will throw me in prison. If I'm lucky. "You're right. I'm sorry, Sir. Truly. I want nothing more than to please the Father."

"You've already failed to do that," he grumbled. "Now your only hope is not to anger him further."

"Yes, Sir. But, Sir?" I couldn't fathom why he wasn't denouncing me. It might have improved his name once the shame of Elaine's arrest got out. "Are you only showing me mercy because of Elaine's arrest?" Did he feel guilty?

"You will not mention that name so long as you live in my house."

Unless I got a job that offered board, I'd live in his house forever. Women were prevented from owning land. "Yes, Sir."

Dad grunted, turning his back on me. "Don't disappoint me again. Please." He stalked slowly from my room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

I leaned back, flopping upon my mattress. What am I going to do? I wanted nothing more than to converse with my little sister. She'd make some witty comment and tell me to snap out of it. But I couldn't talk to her. Not unless Ander could send her back to me.

It wasn't that I was stupid enough believe Ander could rescue Elaine... but... hope was a fickle thing. I didn't think Ander could save her. But I hoped he did. And that was enough for me to urge him to risk his own life.

Life with my family could never be the same. Not only were we all grieving, but now I needed to suffer alone. No doubt Dad had ordered Donald, John, and Mom to isolate me as his own form of punishment.

I rolled onto my stomach, burying my face in my pillow. When I finally lifted my head I noticed a bundle of black fabric by my bedside. Ander's jacket. I snatched up the coat, holding it to my chest. I recalled tossing it away last night. He must have forgotten it in his haste to leave. I hugged the light jacket tightly, a last memento of the man I'd never see again. There were no other remnants of him, no gifts. I'd been unwilling to risk bringing anything of his into my house, but I wasn't willing to let this bit of clothing go.

An object dug into my stomach, poking out of one of the jacket's large pockets. Curious, I emptied the jacket finding only a scrap of paper and a small book, hardly holding together at all.

I glanced at the paper without much interest, until I noticed my name in Ander's sloppy scrawl.

Heart clenching, I peered at the bit of lined paper.

Jeaniboo,
Hey. I know you're going to see me in person since you aren't answering my instatexts, but this is just in case you won't give me the chance to talk. This note is assuming you made it home safely, and making sure you did is my main reason for coming to your house. But this too. If you won't listen to me, at least read what I have to say. I know this is really freaking old fashioned, but it's not safe to instatext you this.

I shouldn't have gotten you involved. I know that. I know. I just—you're the most important person to me, and that group is the most important thing. I wanted to bring you and it together.

If I can't talk to you today, I won't get a chance to again because I was selected to work and attend graduate school in Eastland. A dream come true! Somehow, not as great knowing I won't get to make things right with you. That's why I'm being all creepy and showing up at your house, though I'm not going to say that right away if you let me talk. I want you to forgive me actually. Not just to make me leave or because you won't need to see me again. This note is just a last resort.

But damn it, Jeanie, you need to know that I never meant to upset you.

I'll be leaving late tomorrow night. Leaving my family, my home, and you. But I can't turn down this opportunity. I just can't. So if I never see you again, I love you, and I'm sorry.

With this letter I've included a book. Just read it. Don't question it. Read it, no matter what. I know you won't want to, but I'm begging you to.

I've never met someone with a mind like yours. Not just because I'd have been Summa Cum Laude if it hadn't been for you. You're smart enough to see through this world. Please open your eyes.

And hey, maybe I can make it up to you by giving you this tip. You're looking for a job, right? If you're looking for a job, well, Ervin will be out for a new assistant once I'm gone. Something tells me he'd be thrilled to have you back at Carthowa. I know he's a dick, but you'll be back on campus because he offers board. Even over summer. Look into it.

I love you, my beautiful Marked Woman,
Ander Marcs.

I clutched Ander's note tightly, fighting back tears. He'd written each letter by hand. That was practically unheard of. I could hold his love in my very hands.

Gently, half afraid it would turn to dust in my grasp, I picked up the book he'd wanted me to read. Would he have given this to me himself had he not been run from my house?

The book was ancient. I had never seen a text like this. Books hadn't been printed on paper since the late 2090's, and even then it had been very few. This seemed even older, paper yellow and dusty, cover frayed and worn. It was difficult to read, but I squinted at the cover.

The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorn. I couldn't find a publishing date, or printing date, but it was clear this book was purchased during the Before. This was part of the Marcs' secret collection, and Ander wanted me to have it.

I needed to destroy it. It was an illegal artifact. To give Dad another reason to report me was ridiculously foolish. But this was Ander's last request. What book would be so important that Ander would take this piece from his collection?

Curiosity burned within me. It wasn't worth the risk... but why had Ander chosen this book? I'd never seen a text from the Before. What could it be about?

Get rid of it, Ross instructed, recoiling from the book. It'll incriminate you more. Ander probably wants one more chance to brainwash you. It isn't like he'll know if you read it or not.

But don't you want to know what it is? Andi tittered, yearning to peek behind the ratty cover. Just read the first couple of pages. Then burn it. But you've got to at least take a look!

Chewing my lip tight enough to taste blood, I opened the book. Cursing Ander, Andi, and my pathetic need for answers, I began to read.

——————————————-_____________
___________________——————————

I didn't know what Nikki Wilbur saw in my brother, not that she had much say in the matter. It wasn't difficult to see what he saw in her.

Donald's fiancée was pretty to say the least. Though tucked into her trench coat, I could detect a slender waist and wide hips. Perfect for child-rearing. That was just about all it took for a woman to attract either a husband, or attention far more malicious.

It didn't hurt that Nikki also possessed a long curtain of dark hair, framing her angular face and deep brown eyes. She was soft spoken and clung to Donald's side in the presence of my family. I wondered if she had any affection for him, or vice versa.

It had been three days since Elaine had been captured. It had been one day since I emerged from my room. I'd spent the last two days in a frenzy, desperate to finish Ander's book but terrified I'd get caught. It wasn't the easiest text to get through, but I could see why he'd picked it.

The Scarlet Letter was the story of a Marked Woman, who was shamed for having an affair. My Mark of Learned Females practically tingled on my wrist whenever I turned the tattered pages.

Mom was searching for any sense of normalcy. She'd begged Donald to invite Nikki to our house for lunch so that she and Dad could inspect her.

"So, when you marry Don, you'll be my sister-in-law?" John asked, leaning his chin on the kitchen table.

"Yes, I suppose so," Nikki agreed, eyeing Dad. "Assuming I make a good impression."

"Too bad. Can't hit on sisters," John grumbled, his video game goggles strapped to his forehead.

"She's all mine." Don cracked a grin, rubbing Nikki's forearm. "And don't worry, doll, you're doing great."

Nikki had nothing to be worried about. Donald was twenty-five, so Dad and Mom would approve of any girl whose parents approved him.

"Jeanie," Don called, "want to grab me and my girl a couple beers?"

Some things never change. I wasn't about to risk Dad's anger, or even his attention, so I slipped from my chair and paced to the refrigerator.

As I handed over the drinks, Nikki glanced at Mom. "The food is excellent, Missus Bennett."

"Call me Mom," she corrected. "And thank you."

"You're not her mother yet, Betsy," Dad huffed, inspecting the meal. "And flattery isn't necessary, Miss Wilbur. Betsy was never a good cook. I lost out there in the wife department. Especially when she decides not to cook any meat."

Mom licked her lips, eyeing the meal she'd prepared. It was the first formal meal we'd shared since Elaine's capture. "I apologize, Steven. I just didn't think to cook any today."

Dad made a rumbling sound in his throat, but didn't comment.

"When do you think the wedding will be?" John asked, staring at Nikki intently. Little Johnathan's first crush?

"In a few weeks," Don answered, not giving his fiancée a chance to speak. "If everything goes as planned we'll have a baby by December."

"I would like another grandson," Dad mused. "Mally can only give me so many. Nikki, just how fertile would you say you are?"

"Oh, I—uh—I don't..." Nikki fumbled for words, color rising in her cheeks. She seemed to sink further into her Trench Coat.

"Dad," Donald complained, putting his arm around Nikki's shoulder, "relax. You'll get your grandsons."

I lifted my head slightly. He was defending her? Dad's question was hardly odd, simply a bit embarrassing. Maybe Don truly did care for his fiancée.

"Um... Sir?" Though I kept my eyes averted, I shifted towards Dad. "I wanted to run something by you?"

"What?" With that single word the tension of the last week returned. The blanket of animosity was palpable. We could try for normalcy all we wanted. We could parade around under this façade of peace for years, but things would never return to normal. We could never return to a state in which Elaine had not been arrested, in which my affair hadn't been discovered, in which our family was how it was meant to be.

Even Nikki looked up at his harsh voice, nestling further into Donald's side. Did she have any clue what hell had recently ensued within these walls?

I took a deep breath, studying the half-eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich on my plate. "I was thinking that's its high time I look for a job. There's an opening at Carthowa. Head Master Ervin is looking for an assistant, and it's open to graduates."

"And what would you be doing at Carthowa?" Dad set his fork down, glaring at me. I knew he wouldn't be thrilled with my going back to campus, but if Ander thought this position would be a good place for me, I wanted to look into it.

"Filing papers, getting coffee. That sort of thing," I explained, recalling all that Ander did for the mustached headmaster. "He offers free board and the dining hall is open to staff. Ervin will even pay a few bucks above minimum wage."

Dad deliberated for several minutes. He scratched his throat, staring me down. "Well, I hardly like the idea of you returning to that place. But I like your living under my roof and mooching off my food even less. I don't see why you can't at least apply."

A smile spread across my face, more from relief than happiness. I could get out of the house. I could return to Carthowa. Things would be better. I could endure Ervin's leers simply to breathe without Dad's accusatory stares. It was time to pick myself up. I lost Elaine. I lost Ander. But life went on, and I wasn't going to be left behind.

All that stood in my way was the interview.

((Jeanie's moving on, hopefully to better things. Do you think that job will go well? What about the interview? Hopefully there will be a new chapter out soon, but I'm trying very hard to get a chapter of Crown of Thorns finished first. Thanks for waiting. ))

Dedications

Restuva : Your last comment made me die of laughter. "Storm the Bastille" indeed. How'd you know I'm a bit of a French Revolution geek?