Sky has all the answers

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I clutched the envelope to my heart when the air around me stopped when everyone around me became stoned as I am not human anymore.

I ran to the terrace in a need of fresh air. This room full of people we getting on my nerves, and if I couldn't move right now. I know that I will not be able to do it again.

I heard Arnav voice but neglected it at the same time. My head had the resemblance of moon and heart with no strings.

I ran hundreds of upstairs without using the elevator.

My lehenga has been converted into the dirt now, the hem alone is covered in the mud.

I might have become mad to find peace in my life and this is the moment to have answers.

I locked the doors and took a deep to calm my nerves down, and the sky above me was in a deep shade of blue as cultivating all the pain inside. It was that time when the sun is about to elope for a day to come back again later. And it reminded me of my grandpa saying when he used to say that the sun burns itself in the vulnerable water in the name of love and that's the thing you need to understand about love.

Love is not just a word describing your emotions in a matter of seconds and let you wander for the rest of your life. If you are lucky enough to witness it with all the passion of your heart then do it very carefully, because it has the power to shatter you.

I took out the letter which I held for so long and closed my eyes for a moment. I found hazel green eyes boy gawking at me with his charming smile.

I opened my eyes immediately and tore apart the envelope to read the letter.

Dearest Julia,

I am writing this letter only to make you understand why I did what I did, and despite knowing how much hurt I have possessed you in the past five years, I cannot mend anything except give you an explanation for my attributes.

When I first saw you at the university, I was not able to acknowledge you as my classmate whom I had an encounter in Mumbai. And when I saw your intelligence the way you were beating me in all the exams it became hard for me to accept someone being my competition. I was confused, I thought I am jealous of your espionage, honesty and wisdom. I thought you were not being real, you were acting to gain everyone's attention. And when I tried to charm you with my foolishness you slapped me, you insulted me ahead of the whole university. For several days I couldn't sleep in anger, everyone was mocking me, you hurt my pride and that was the moment when Sarah suggested taking an act of revenge on you. I was a completely immiscible jerk! So, I did everything in my hands to make you fall for me despite knowing that I was the one who was falling for you too. And how could I not? With the generosity the kindness you have shown me, I have never seen it before. I didn't want to let you know that it was an act of scripted revenge. I wanted to let you know everything and how much I love you, but my family! 

I have no idea how am I going to tell you about my so-called family. My father and Sarah's father were business partners. He wanted me to marry Sarah as soon as possible that's why I used to have her around me.
Her mother never liked her, but her father prayed to her, love her to the moon. And when I left India to live with my father I have nothing on my own. I was a clueless brat! My father warned me if I didn't do as Sarah said he will not let me graduate. I know these all things doesn't make any sense, nor are excuses to mend what I did. Still, I would like to let you know that I wanted to stop you right there but couldn't, maybe I was a coward or not in the condition to amend things.
I have lived two years in regret and compassion when you left, I have searched you everywhere but wasn't able to find you, I have lost myself. My will!

And then It clicked on my head. I remembered that day very well when the first time I met you at the university, the way your blue eyes were speaking to me. I realised I have known you before. So I searched all the photographs I had with me if there is any chance to find you out. Then I realised we shared the same school in Mumbai. You were the same girl who was at the door when I was crying and speaking to the teacher about my mother. You were the girl who was in the tub covered with mud. Therefore, I went to Mumbai to find you, I wasn't able to even sleep at that time, I cannot explain how much pleased I was to know that I have known you since my childhood.
When I searched for you in Mumbai I got to know that you have a company in Delhi and you are running a business over there.

I wanted to directly meet you rather than create plans for what I did in reality, but I thought you would have forgotten me.  I needed to make you remember about me. So I created all the scenarios to meet you. And then I heard my cousin Arnav was getting married, he invited me to his engagement to witness you, at the moment my heart shattered into thousands of pieces to see you in his arms. I was angry with myself, I thought I lost you but my half-sister Jessica told me that you don't love him that's the reason I returned to have you back.

However, I know I am too late! this is too late. Nothing is making sense. You despise me, even my existence. And I cannot blame you for that.
Tomorrow is the day when you are getting married, I know Arnav is the lucky man to have you as his wife, and I am the one who caused you pain.

Therefore, I have decided to not hurt you anymore. You were still the same Julia whom I loved five years back, you are still the same Julia whom I admire now.

And one more thing I forgot to mention when I abandoned Sarah she got associated with Samuel.

Now,  you know everything,
Then let me take goodbye to you.

Always regretful
N.V.M

Tears started flowing shamelessly on my cheeks.

He indeed loved me, and I have been a fool to not see affection in his eyes.  How dumb I am to believe in Sarah words. She is pregnant with Samuel's child, she purposely fooled me, she must have known that Neel is here in Delhi. And I let her play with my feelings like the way I did before.

I clutched the letter to my chest and then there was no end of tears. My eyes went closed. Nothing was right, nothing was wrong, everything was clueless for me.

He was searching for me for past years? He wasn't able to sleep peacefully because of me. Every time he tried to sleep he used to dream about the day when he broke my heart and because of him, I was crying.

Now, what do I do now?

Yes. I love him.  I still love him!

But tomorrow is the day when I have to marry Arnav, everything is arranged, the venue, the guest's list, the preparations, wedding cards have been distributed.

Now whom do I choose?

My family or love?

The family which cared for me every day, my father, I cannot betray him. And my mother? She did everything in her compassion so that I sleep at night.

And Arnav, what his mistake?

What does he do to get betrayed by me?

I think it's too late

I think marriage will be the only best thing to do.

So, I looked up to the sky to find my answers, but I was only able to find dark clouds with no shine.

Looks like, the sky is about to burst anytime soon and then in a minute with a huge thunderstorm, it started heavily raining again.

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What do you think happen next?

And what do you think about the letter?

This story is about to end soon

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