Agent Agent da Nerd ~ Chapter 17

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(Astrid's P.O.V.)

"Mission #002 shall commence."

"Hold it!" Perseus interrupted. "What now, Perseus?" I questioned with a menacing killer vibe in my tone of choice. "Oh you idiots, who said I was in for this?" He paused for a moment with a puzzled look on his face. "And who the hell gave you permission to call me Perseus!? And Agent Poop!? What the hell!? Incredulous!" I gave him a mischievous look. Wow. Nice question you've got there. Kathrine decided to step in. "You were smiling your smug smile y'know?" Percy smirked once more. "And how does that mean I'm in?" I glared at him spitefully, and so he raised his eyebrows at me, mentally taunting me. Well? Nothing to say grumpy cat? Too bad. I thought you were much more clever than that?

The nerve of that brat! I swear, one day, I will tear him to a billion pieces with a knife crafted from diamond, created and enchanted by my very own magic, and I will burn him and torture him and make him experience eternal agony for the rest of his life until his remains turn to ash and nothingness! His body and soul will be reduced to absolutely nothing! (*cue evil, maniacal, witch-like laughter*) Oh- and I'll also throw his ashes into an abyss where he'll be forever haunted by the cries and screams of all the damned souls in this world. Alas! A crime I will never regret or be ashamed of!

"Heya there Astrid. What evil plans are going through your head right now? You've got a creative mind when it comes to mischief, I tell ya." Kathrine read my mind. "Umm just some spiteful ideas that came up from utter resentment." I innocently smiled. "Wow." she chortled. "Ahem. Do I not exist anymore?" Perseus, to me at least, begged for attention. I diverted my gaze to him, stared and said oh so sweetly "I tell you, I would love it if you didn't! This place would be 1 step closer to heaven. However, sadly, you do exist, and so, I shall make sure that you, the annoyingly pesky little burden to this supposedly immaculate day cease to do any harm or whatsoever to my perfectly imperfect life!"

"Umm...weren't we supposed to be investigating the 'messenger of hell' thing? You may be getting sidetracked..." Kathrine reminded us. "Excuse me, ma'am, your order." some embarrassed waiter dude said with a what-the-heck-is-happening-here expression on his face. He put down the tray on the table and hurriedly scurried away.

The glorious heavenly fragrant scent of coffee greeted me as Kathrine cheered merrily. Chiffon cake sat all prim and proper atop the plate adorned with exquisitely drawn swirls of caramel sauce. Vanilla ice cream topped with a majestic chocolate drizzle was gingerly laid in a bowl pleading to be eaten. Chocolate chip cookies were stacked up on a fancy plate, their edges, golden brown, proof they were baked to perfection. It was all so tempting.

"Thank you for the food!" we prayed. "Hey, Agent Poop, isn't that ice cream a little plain?" I asked. "Don't. Call. Me. Agent. Poop, and no. It is absolutely delicious, so shut it and leave me in peace already!" Kathrine snorted. "The more you tell me to shut up, the more I won't." I reminded him. "Shushhhh! Lookie here, more info." Kathrine pointed out the window to a TV shop outside. The largest TV on display showed the news with some subtitles, and so, I read them aloud.

"Many rumors have spread around about this so-called 'messenger of hell". Now, we have some solid evidence of the matter. Here, we have some eye-witnesses of the crime.
"I was just standing there with my friend talking about the previous attack when some dark shadowy figure loomed down over us and just gave us a creepy look. I stared in amusement, and the second after I blinked, me friend was gone. I decided to search for him until I remembered about all the rumors spreading saying that I might get taken too, so I didn't go.
"A shadow is roaming our city grounds. Remember: I, terrified, warn as solemnly in deed. I eternally carry hopelessness onto salvation, eternally need one's nothingness, eternally suffer."

I stared at the screen. This person looks familiar. "Holy crap it's Clair!" I announced in surprise. "Hold your horses news reporter, who's Clair?" Agent Poop interrogated. "You guys should be more curious about that creepy toodooloo she gave us." Kathrine said. "Creepy toodooloo? What the hell is that?" I asked. "Her creepy goodbye reminder."

I, terrified, warn as solemnly in deed. I eternally carry hopelessness onto salvation, eternally need one's nothingness, eternally suffer.

"Huh," Percy shrugged. "It doesn't make sense. It's not sensical in the slightest. It does give me the creeps though." I shivered. I pondered on the memories of all the anime's I've ever watched thinking of any cool mystery/sci-fi/detective-like anime code-breaking or clue making scenes. Memories started flooding in. Little by little, I allowed every last bit of forbidden information register themselves in my brain. However, nothing related came to mind. No Game No Life...Death Note...Kakegurui... What is there that can help me? I'm no detective, I tell ya. My deduction skills are at pretty much zero.

Think. Think. Think.

"What you thinking 'bout?" Agent Poop asked me, "You know how in an anime, when something is suspicious, it's typically some clue or whatnot?" Perseus questionably and reluctantly nodded. "I'm finding the clue!" He gave me a weird face. "Yeah, sure...weeb." Kathrine had this light-bulb anime moment. "But then...what if it was Clair who did it?"

I took note of all the memories I have of Clair; what she did when we met, her bubbly, ecstatic personality, how she would be a totally different person and stare of into a distant land whenever I mentioned something about how the log out button wouldn't work, et cetera. There wasn't even the littlest hint that she had even the slightest drop of evil in her. It just seemed impossible. Something seemed wrong. Real wrong.

"Aye, Agent Poop—say real names are prohibited for the day—where is this being broadcast from?" an idea sparked in my head. "Oh, you don't say, Agent Agent. I think you've got an idea. It's being broadcast from the building right beside the Clocktower. We goin'?" Agent Agent!? What kind of insult is that!? "Sure, we going. Imma drag this fuming Astrid over here." Kathrine yanked my arm and began to drag me across the cafe, over to the door.

"Lead the way, Agent Poop." I squirmed in Kathrine's grasp. This girl's sure got a tight grip. It's killing me! She literally pulled me as she followed Perseus towards the Clocktower. I finally gave in and stopped opposing Kathrine. "Finally! You squirm too much!" she complained and plopped me onto the ground. "Now go on, you walk yourself." I sighed and dragged the soles of my shoes across the streets. I hastily walked, nearly ruining my shoes. "Just stop it already! It's irritating!" Agent Poop yelled in front of me. "Don't expect me to, Agent Poop."

"You grumpy cat! We're here at least. Show some respect to this ancient tower!" I smirked and continued to annoy Mr. Perseus while 'paying my respects' to this ancient tower. Yeah, sure. Like hell I would. I don't know a goddamn thing about the history of this place! So why the heck should I care? I'll irritate this guy more. "I'm bored. Zura." I imitated Hanamaru. Perseus glared at me. "Well now you're imitating people. Lovely. What more, an anime person. Even lovelier! You suck. Anime sucks!" This time, I glared at him. A menacing look that I wished could beat the life out of someone. One day, I will make magic that works that way.

"Okay...so this is the broadcasting station or whatever you're supposed to call it?" Kathrine stared dumbfounded at the run-down shack next to the oh so famous Clocktower. "I don't think it was like that before..." Perseus said. "I'm pretty sure it looked like some fancy mansion place with some stuff a broadcasting station would have, but I don't know what the hell you call them, so yeah." I muttered some insults underneath my breath that could be heard within my (and mine alone) earshot.

"Well Agent Poop, that was surely useful. Now please die and go to hell." Kathrine deadpanned. I snickered and asked "We break in?" Agent Poop smiled his oh so devious smile. "Let's do this!" we yelled in unison. "Zura." I added, earning me an evil glare from the one and only Agent Poop. "Agent Agent? Shut. The. Fricking. Hell. Up. Please. Or. I. Swear. On. The. Styx. I. Will. Kill. You. And. Burn. Your. Remains. And. I. Tell. You. Guaranteed. There. Will. Be. Nothing. Left. Of. You. To. Mourn. Over."

We gradually approached the shack and gingerly twisted the doorknob after receiving no reply when we knocked about 3 or 4 times. Laying 1 foot inside, I felt an immediate chill that made me regret even choosing to come in here. A ginormous flash of incandescent light blinded my eyes. The room temperature was hot, I tell you, burning hot, but my senses registered everything as cold. Probably because of the creepy vibe this place is giving me. I glanced at Agent Komaru. Her emerald eyes glowed in the darkness. They emitted the feeling of fear get she seemed as though she was on very high alert.

I looked at Perseus. His chocolate-brown eyes radiating courage and desperation. He seemed ready for anything. He looked like he was 6 feet tall, on top of the world in fact, wherein I was 4 and a half feet tall, attempting to overcome everything that came past me. Such bravery was so admirable. So inspiring.

I gripped my staff tightly, my eyes quickly scanning the room. Everything seemed oddly normal, yet only 1 thing remained suspicious. A single door standing behind all else, completely calm and untouched by the dusty environment. It seemed fresh and clean. I summoned a dim light, as I gently walked towards the door. Creak. I paused. Perseus gave me a sign to continue. I made every step as light as possible, avoiding the creation of any sound whatsoever. The gem on my staff glistened with a silver light illuminating my path.

I snuck up to the wooden door and examined its features. A freshly used door, no thick layers of dust covering it. It was just used alright. I tried to turn the knob, but then, there just happened to be some secret code. Wow, fun. I turned to Agents Poop and Komaru. "It's locked," I whispered. "There's a code." I faced the door again. "And a clue."

What is x and its negative square times what x and 2 is? Now what are the numbers that you shall encode? Good luck.

P.S. - If you do get it right, brace yourselves for death.

Lovely. Are we expected to know what the value of x is!? It's obvious. This thing is an algebraic equation. Basic algebra if you know the value of x. Just so you know people, I'm not a mathematical genius! "Oh great. Math. Agent Agent, you're up. Agent Poop, help her if you know math." Agent Komaru said in a hushed voice. "Based on the clue given, all I can manage out is that this is x minus x squared times x plus x. But then...what is x...?" I trailed off.

"What if the value of x is somewhere in this clue? What if it's written somewhere in the room?" Komaru wondered. I observed everything weird I could find. I came across this squarish clock placed on the roots of some withering tree. It read precisely 4:00. "That's it!" I cheered. "Shushh." Perseus smacked my arm. I winced in pain. "x is 4. Now let me celebrate and give it a try."

I grabbed a notebook I had on me and clicked open my pen. I scribbled some numbers on it like so:

(4 - 16) (4+2) = (4+(-16)) (6) = (-12)(6) = -72

I turned to the encoder thing in typed in '-72'. It rang and a notification appeared. It said 'Please enter a trinomial with a degree of 2'. A trinomial? How am I supposed to get a trinomial? With a degree of 2? Now, what's a degree again? I racked my brain for answers. A degree. A degree. A degree of a polynomial is the degree of its leading term! That's it! The degree of a term is the sum of the exponents of the variables on the term and the term with the highest degree is the leading term! That means something is missing. I examined the clock once more.

Why put it on a tree? Why set it on 4:00? Why choose a square clock? I connected the dots little by little. If it's on a tree, what more the roots of the tree then it must be the square root of 4 is x! So to put it simply, I cannot replace the variable x with its value if I am to gain a trinomial with a degree of 2. It must be a polynomial with 3 terms, so all denominators must be constants, all radicands must be constants and lastly, all exponents of the variable must be whole numbers. I've got all the conditions for my answer. I will solve this in my most preferred way of multiplying binomials. Algebra tiles.

I encircled my answer and double-checked all the conditions. "Yes! Got it!" I instantly punched in the code, and now, voila. We're ready to find out what lies behind this door. First I saw? A majestic palace hall with Clair tied to pole.

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