Point of View: Dakota Black

Please bear in mind.. This chapter depicts more about his personality(head) than his emotions(heart)

I wake up with a sudden jolt and feel the wetness of sweat rolling behind my ears. I hear my heart pounding in my chest as I breathe in short, with panicking gasps.

I was back in that moment, three years ago. In that car crash, which changed my life forever.

I was back in that driver's seat and I could see the flash of another car getting brighter and closer, before it collides right into mine with a speed of jet.

I could still hear the crunch of metal and feel the impact of my head hitting the glass window while my ribs take all the poundage of the crash.

I look around as I try to orient myself where I am, but everything seems unfamiliar. It takes me a moment to realize that I am in my own bedroom, not in that hospital room where I had woken up after the accident.

My hand reaches below my heart and I feel my bones in place. All five of them. Thank god! Nothing happened. It was just a dream. Another nightmare. I am fine.

I am all fine.

My ears ring with loud beeping sound and with trembling hands, I turn off the alarm system, which monitors my daily panic attacks and nightmares.

Fuck!

Sweat beads up my forehead and I rub it with my cold palms. My heart is still hammering inside my chest like a drilling machine and I check for heart meter on my watch.

It's 177 beats per minute. Shit.

I take a deep, shaking breath and try to calm myself, but the fear is still there, lurking just below the surface of my skin.

I continue to breathe in and out, till I feel my flesh again.

I thought I was done with these dreams, and sudden jerks in my sleep. But like a shadow, the darkness doesn't leave me. They grow thicker and darker when I run towards the light.

My feet touch the cold floor and chills run up my legs. I look at my watch again, it's 4:40 in the morning. I woke up twenty minutes before my schedule.

I go through the sleep tracking app and monitor my bed activity. Moderate with four hours and eight minutes of sleep with three sudden hypnic jerks. Hmm.. Not bad!

It's the last one that woke me up.

I stand up from the bed and groan. My back feels sore with constant working and I stretch my spine.

Fuck! I am tired.

The second hardest thing after having a sleep is waking up. Coz I feel like to just die every second of the day. Except, when I am working.

Working and working out. That's the only counteract to my destructive thoughts.

I push myself to run five miles daily, do a hundred pushups, pull ups and some sets of bench press, before I get in for a hot bath.

Warm water falls from all sides as I stand in the shower and think about the dream I had. My doctor tells to keep a record of all my bad dreams, but they all seem same. I keep seeing death in every unconscious hallucination I get.

I gulp antidepressants, mood stabilizers, reuptake inhibitors, atypical medication, and multivitamins. In total, I take seven pills and hope I don't die today.

I look up in the mirror and gaze deep into the man who is looking back at me. His forehead has creases, and eyes have dark circles.

I am exhausted till my last breath.

But I can't give up when I have just started working. I own a six hundred million dollars company with two hundred employees working under me.

I can't afford to be negligent even for a day.

I can't afford to die.

Not now.

By 8:00 AM, I am dressed up sharply in a suit, making sure every detail is perfect.

I know appearance is important, especially for a CEO like myself.

I go downstairs and have my breakfast, washing it down with a cup of black coffee. De-cafed, because I am already in a relationship with insomnia.

I take a few minutes to review world business and financial news channels, before I head for my throne. This is my office. Not to mention, right on time.

Being a boss, I have a reputation to uphold, and it starts with being punctual.

After reviewing my schedule for the day, I check my emails, making sure I am fully prepared for what is about to come.

But suddenly, my perfect life and my mind glitches, as my eyes catch a response from Pegasus Publication.

'Thank you for your acknowledgement.
Of course! Emara Stone has been signed exclusively with our publication, and we are working on printing her book.

P.S. Will send you the first fresh copy of her novel if you would like ;)'

So I wasn't hallucinating..

She really came to take my interview.

She really sat there, on my couch, in her black skirt and red top.

I hiss taking a deep breath as I recall her feminine figure and blushing face. She quite beautifully turned from a kitten to kitty in these past three years.

But I am not that same man either. This time, I wouldn't let her go that easily.

She has to pay for what she did to me. I'll make sure to turn her worst fears into reality.

I'll be her nightmare. Just like she is mine.

Everything in me hates her so mu-

*Knock* *Knock*

I jolt back to reality, and the room is empty once again. The couch is unoccupied and I sigh, feeling the weight of her absence.

"Come in."

Stacey, my secretary walks in. "Sir, your schedule for today comprises of three meetings, and one-"

"DO NOT SIT THERE!" I growl at her as she was about to sit on the spot where Emara sat.

"Oh-I am- I sorry." Stacey stutters. Her face drips with a sheer expression of horror and I curse myself.

Why the fuck did I do that?

Because she was about to sit there.

I know.

"Just mail me the schedule. I'll let you know the changes." I tell her and watch her exit my cabin hurriedly.

Whole day I keep looking at that one spot, where Emara was sitting. I don't want anyone to sit on her place ever again.

I keep imagining that she is still there, smiling at me and reading for me from her notebook. Her sweet voice echoes in my ears like a ghost and I couldn't concentrate on anything.

As if she hacked the files of my mind and every word seems blur in front of me, making no sense. Except her face.

And her eyes.

My heart begins to thrust wildly in my chest as I remember the way her eyes looked at me after reading every question, and the blush on her cheek and the slow bite of her lip.

Fuck!

I lean back in my chair, feeling irritated. My meeting with project leads are pending and my work is left untouched, since yesterday. Since she walked in.

This is not me. I am not irregular with my tasks and probably never struggled to focus.

Focus was always my strongest point. When I want something, I have it anyhow.

But right now, I feel defeated as I don't even remember easy stuff like periodic table or eight's table.

Fuck!

I need to get her out of my system.

I need to get hazel eyes and pinky cheeks out of my fucking mind.

My watch vibrates with a reminder and Black&White club notification pops up.

Oh! It's that night today.

After the sun dies, I dress up in black, put a mask on, and turn off my daylight persona. Just like the code of club. No names, no faces, just you and your inner animal.

I walk into the club and instantly, strong scent of leather, tobacco and sex hits my nose. Dark music plays in the background with dim warm lights dusting from above.

I order a scotch and look around the clique. Doms are dressed up in black clothes with their subs beside them in white.

White. A colour of purity, innocence and submission.

Black. A colour of sin, smut and dominance.

And I am just the perfect synonym of black.

In fact, I am Black.

I sense many eyes on me, and I look up. Though everyone is hiding behind their masks, I can still smell envy and lust in the air.

"You made it." I hear a dense voice behind me and I turn towards the voice's owner.

Xavier Lance.

"Of course! I can't avoid you for longer." I smirk at him.

After all, he is my psychiatrist.

"I was expecting you to come. It's been three weeks since you have been avoiding me." He mocks with a sly grin.

I laugh.

He knows me very well that I will contact him the very next second after losing myself to insanity. 

Xavier has been a great blessing to me. And his pills too. Without him, I would have gone berserk a long ago.

He is like a genie, which produces instant solution to my fucked up mental problems.

"So what is special about tonight?" I ask him as I look at the mask of other people. There is quite a crowd here.

"Tonight is the show night. DomxSub and introduction of new club members. Maybe you can find yourself a sub." He winks at me.

"You already know my answer, Xavi." I tell him after taking a sip of scotch.

"Ah! It's starting. What a timing!" He sneers at me and I get to see his perfect teeth.

He probably got them whitening.

"Great!"

We take a seat on the couch facing the 'show' which apparently is just a chair surrounded by the ropes which somehow reminds me of boxing ring.

The lights lower down at one spot and the music changes into deep sensual beats as a man in black leather pants with a girl leashed to his side, walks into the center.

He is built, head is up as he majestically walks up to the chair.

I like his confidence. He knows he owns the spotlight and the girl.

"Do you trust me?" Dom asks his sub.

It's important to have trust in each other and consent, before starting a complex relationship like BDSM.

"Yes, master." Her reply follows with credence.

Offering your submission to someone requires an extraordinary amount of bravery and confidence. By doing so, one is making a bold statement that you trust your Dom and expect to be used, and abused. In return for pleasure.

"Strip and crawl to me."

As soon as he orders, the girl begins to unzip her dress. White frill falls to her feet, and she steps out of them in just her heels, panties and a mask.

Correction, thong. White thong.

She gets on all four and walks like a pet towards her owner. She has a curvy body, blond hair and a fake tan, not that I mind. What intrigues me is the strawberry stickers on her nipples, which fascinates me to know the colour.

On the order of her Dom, she spreads her legs, and gets into different sexual positions, where her Dom has maximum control over her body.

She is a perfect submissive every man wants.

"Who is she?" I ask Xavier, who is keenly watching the show just like others.

"A new sub. You want her?" He arches his eyebrow in question.

"No." Not her. The beast whispers from within.

We both don't want her.

"I think you have a perfect stance to be a dominator." I hear his dense voice beside me.

"You possess self-control, self-disciple and self-awareness." He tells me and I nod at him.

Xavier is a man with ultraviolet eyes. He can look inside a person and tell what they are made up of.

"You are responsible, reliable, and I am pretty sure you have a kinky and compassionate side as well. Trust me, you have everything to be a great Dom."

"No, I do not want any more blemishes on my name, than it already has." I take a slow sip, while watching her arch her ass back.

I love this position. Maximum control. Maximum pleasure. And maximum dirty sounds.

"Since when you started caring for such things? A man who lives recklessly, is a man who lives to his fullest." I hear my psychiatrist talk philosophy to me.

I raise my eyebrow above the mask.

"I am not just a man. I am a businessman. I can't risk my years long hard work to suffer for some good fucks."

"So you gonna let your inner animal starve?"

I feel a growl growing in me, and my chest vibrates with displeasure. But it wasn't just for a fuck. Not any fuck.

My inner animal doesn't desire a submissive. He wants that fierce kitty which clawed deep in his heart.

He wants that wild cat, which is playing hide and seek since past four years.

"I am a doctor too. I have a reputation to carry as well. You just need to manage your time and your personalities." He stares at me and I know what he meant.

I roll my eyes behind my mask and so does my beast.

"Nah! I like random fucks in your club, but having a sub is not my cup of tea." I sip my scotch and look back at the performance where the Dom exemplates dominance over the girl with a whip stick. 

"Alright. I respect your decision and your presence here." He tells me and I nod curtly in agreement.

Soft moans fill my ear as I watch him hit her peachy ass and it somehow pleases me deeply.

I just couldn't stop imagining her as my kitty. With darker hair and instead of that white thong, I would like to see her in nothing.

I feel a grunt in my chest, as if my inner beast howls in approval.

For once, we both think like one mind.

Hmm...

Now that I think, sending her to jail wouldn't give me as much pleasure as seeing her under me.

With her legs spread. The beast whispers.

Hmm.. I couldn't agree more.

People say I eat and drink in success. Which I agreed, up till now. But the parameters have changed from today.

The real taste of success I'll only get when I'll take a bite out of her.

My price.

She was always mine to have. And now that she walked up to me, it's impossible for me to not have her.

She is my award.

She will be my reward.

For everything I have been through, because of her, her father and her lover.

I will take it all from her.

Emara Stone... Start counting your days. I am coming for you.

With no mercy.

( ͡♥ ₃ ͡♥)

I will write another chapter on one of his scene with Emara.. So you might get an idea of his emotions.

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