Point of view: Dakota Black

Warning: This is a dark disturbing chapter, includes mental illness and traumatic scenes.

Please note, this chapter is the following scene after their 1st night together, that is after the chapter- Sweet Little Wh0re of Day One.

Darkness.

It's the first thing I feel, like emerging from a deep, dreamless sleep. There is heaviness in my limbs, and I feel a sharp sting at the back of my head.

It's as if I have woken up from a heavy slumber, with my brain foggy and disjointed. My eyes flutter open, blinking away the haze and revealing a dimly lit room that seems vaguely familiar, yet unsettling.

Where am I?

I stand in the middle of what seems to be my room, yet everything feels slightly out of place, mostly my mind. It feels like I have been dragged roughly for hours with my head under water and my consciousness out of order.

What is happening?

I feel so disoriented, out of place, out of my mind, as I don't belong here, in my own body, in my own head.

I   fucked   her !

The room spins for a moment and I rub my temples, trying to shuffle together the events. Suddenly, a fragmented memory of Emara dancing before me teases my mind and I freeze.

What was that? Another hallucination?

I feel a sharp ache in my head and suddenly, memories of Emara flood in. Her smiling at me, eating pizza, the flames, and then, her seductive dance.

I clutch onto the doorframe of my bathroom to steady myself. After reaching to the sink, I splash cold water on my face in an attempt to desperately clear my mind.

I   finally   fucked   her !

I hear a faint echo in my head, and my hands freezes in the mid-air. I stare at my reflection in the little pool of water in my palms, watching the water slowly drip away through my fingers.

What did you say?

I question myself, looking up into the mirror. The person staring back at me, is not me. The evil glint in his eyes and that satisfying grin on his lips isn't mine, but of an alternative reality of me. My violent side, my beast.

I   fucked   Emara !

A chill runs down my spine as the silent whisper amplifies like a roar in my head. My heart thrashes wildly behind my ribs as the haunting words seep deeper into my consciousness.

"You did WHAT?" I yell at my own reflection. My hand trembles uncontrollably, and I grip the edge of basin for support. My reflection smiles, diabolically.

"I fucked her. We fucked Emara, the girl who ruined us." I hear my voice, but not my voice, a deeper version of me echoes through the bathroom.

Suddenly, a blurry vision of Emara flashes through my mind. Stripped off, sitting on the bed, with her teary eyes staring at me with loath as she says 'I hate you' to me.

No. No. No.. Its hallucination, a delusion... an illusion created in mind.

"She deserves it!" The dark voice in my head resonates with victory, making it horrifyingly clear that it is not an illusion.

"Wha-why did you do that?" I yell. Her broken eyes cause my heart to race at an alarming speed. This is not what I wanted!

"Because you are too coward to do it. You are a weakling, who always needs me, a push to do things. And I knew you are not strong enough to take our revenge. So I did her dirty."

"How many times I told you... I AM NOT A FUCKING WEAKLING!" I growl back, my palms digging into the corners of the basin as I try to control my sanity.

I am angry, I am hurt and I am beyond shocked. How could he act on such a dark impulse?

"You were not suppose to do that. I..I told her I.. wouldn't touch her without her-"

"Oh, shut your tape! You never wanted to take revenge from her. You were dreaming of kissing her and holding her." My reflection laughs at me, like I am a ridiculous joke.

"I have never seen more pathetic loser than what you have become, Dakota."

"Shut up! Shut the fuck up!" My voice booms, echoing through the bathroom.

"Pussy. That's what you are, Dakota. A weakling."

Enraged by my own sinister voice, I lift my balled hand and slam right into the wall with a force that can crack concrete.

"I said.. SHUT UP!" With each word, I punch the wall again and again, until the pain becomes unbearable and my fingers numb to any senses.

Shakingly I step back, staring at the crumble of my fury. The thick Italian marble bears a crack down to the base with most of its pieces shattered on the floor.

Frightened by my own rage, I look into the mirror. Chills run down my spine as those dark eyes stare back at me with a blackness I am too familiar with.

I am scared of myself, of what I have become. A psychotic patient who is fighting with his own reflection. I have become a monster.

"Eve, apply Code 9." I instruct the AI assistant with heavy breathings.

It is happening again! 

"Eve, apply Code 9." I command the AI assistant with heavy breathings.

"Locking all the main doors, kitchen drawers and disabling all the electric sockets in the house." The AI informs, and almost instantly, an ominous click signals the door of my room locking itself and trapping me in my hell.

"You couldn't even lay a finger on her, because you are a coward. A Coward!"

My eyes frantically scan through my medicine cabinet as the voices get louder. Panic rises in my chest and my hand knocks down several bottles as I look for the little bottle that promises a momentary escape from the voices echoing in my skull.

"She destroyed your life and you want to go kiss her!" His cold laughter slice through me, spearing my heart.

Desperately, my eyes dart across the sea of fallen bottles and finally spot one that looks familiar. I snatch the bottle, pop its cap off and hurriedly gulp a xanax.

I pray for the relief soon, but there is hardly any God above who watches me.

"Pathetic! You are a pathetic man, Dakota!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" I scream at the top of my lungs while staggering out of the bathroom. Each pulse in my neck echoes with a torment beat of my raging heart.

Barren walls and that pitiful lonely mattress on the floor welcomes me, making me feel depressed than before. As if I don't deserve even the simplest comforts in life, despite having immense wealth at my fingertips.

"A loser. That's what you are."

A sick feeling grows in the pit of my stomach, and every part of me screams out to end this suffering. I can't take it. I don't want to take it.

Why am I even living like this? I don't even have a bed to sleep on.

I don't want this life. I don't want to live.

"You are a complete worthless without me." The voices become deafening in my head, making me feel more miserable.

Suddenly, all the dark, suicidal thoughts chase me and I rush to the door, in an attempt to run away from myself. But it is stuck.

"Eve, open the fucking door." I growl, punching on to the door frame, to liberate myself from this hell.

"Code 9. Access Denied. Heart rate exceeds 120 bpm." AI responds inhumanly.

My chest rises and falls rapidly as I take in short deep breaths to calm my raving nerves, but like a volcano it keeps on bursting in me.

"A weakling, that's what you really are." The voices haunting me from inside, growing louder every second.

And I couldn't breathe.

My shirt, this room, the sad look in her teary eyes, everything is suffocating me.

"Get me out of here!" I shout while pounding my fist against the unforgiving barrier, but it doesn't even budge.

"Coward." A hiss pierces through me, breaking me down completely.

With trembling hands, I reach for my phone and dial a number I know by heart. The ring goes and my heart flutters panickingly, waiting impatiently to hear the voice.

Please pick up!

Fear grips me from all sides as the ring continues to go, without any response from the other side. I feel cold and distant, and suddenly I hear a familiar voice.

"Speak."

"Oh, thank god! Xavier, p-please talk to me." I sweat, my hands shiver as I hold on to the phone like it's my lifeline.

"Hey, hey! I am here. I am right here." My psychiatrist, my friend, the only one who truly understands what a maze my mind is, replies.

"First calm down. Sit at a place and take deep breaths." He instructs me softly, and I stumble to my pathetic excuse of a bed, the only place I can sit on.

"I am sitting." I inform him, gripping the phone even tighter, as the only tangible connection to my sanity.

"Take a deep breath and tell me what happened." His gentle, comforting voice comes through the speaker and I draw a shaky breath before saying.

"I did something very stupid."

"What did you do?" The concern in Xavier's voice deepens.

"I am so stupid." Words come out in choking sobs.

I hear him take a sharp breath, in an attempt to remain calm. "Did you hurt yourself, Dakota?"

My breathing becomes more erratic as the guilt consumes me and I admit. "I am fucking stupid."

There is a pause from Xavier's end, filled only with tension. "Dakota.." I hear him draw a heavy breath, before he cautiously asks me. "Did you hurt the girl?"

A sinking feeling of sadness settles in my chest as Emara's tear-filled eyes flashes in front of me, telling me she hates me. Regret and shame coil around my throat, making it nearly impossible to speak.

"What did you do to her? Tell me." Xavier's voice is edged with worry as he asks me with urgency.

A sob crawls up to my throat, and I swallow hard before revealing. "I.. I fucked her." I stammer, feeling the weight of guilt.

Silence echoes between us, before I hear him exhale loudly. "Jesus! Fuck! Dakota, okay.. I thought I had to call men to dispose of the body. But, this is better! This is the best thing happened compare to the horrors I had in my mind."

A feel a clench in my chest, followed by rapid beats.

"I would never hurt her!" I almost yell through the phone.

"She is everything to me and I.. I can't even think of hi-hit-ting he-her." I choke out, tears stinging my eyes and I feel a painful squeeze in my chest as if the thought itself hurt me physically.

Xavier hesitates while saying. "I realize that.. I apologize. How do you feel now?"

"Like shit." I say, not sure how to put my feelings into words.

"Hm.. Wasn't it good?" His curious voice reaches to me, creating confusion.

"What?" I frown.

"The sex.."

I feel my heart racing and I swallow hard, trying to keep the rising panic at the bay. "Xavier," I begin, my voice trembling with what I am about to say.

"Do you remember our sessions, when I told you about the dark past of my history, the underground fightclub, and the violence? How once I enter the cage, and everything would just.. disappear? How I used to never remember the blows, the blood, the entire fight, or even how I magically won every single time?"

"Yea, what now?" He questions, his tone more serious now.

"I.." I take a pause and a tremulous breath before I finally confess to him..

"I don't remember having sex with Emara."

( ͡♥ ₃ ͡♥)

The Winners who solved the mystery of Mr. Black are AdyashaDas6 and ThaWussPuss

Congratulation babies🍾😘 (Please drop a Hi in my message to get your reward)

Originally I was going to select 5 readers, but only 2 answered correctly. So I am going to select 3 more readers who are my regular supporters and will tell their names in the next chapter! 

Also, Who wants another chapter of Dakota?

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