CHAPTER FIVE:
( i need your help )

▂✫⌒*･ﾟ

             NIKOLAS SERIOUSLY QUESTIONS HIS own housemates in how incredibly stupid and vile they are with their words. And this is nothing new by the looks of it! He woke up sleepily from his nap only to find Theodore quietly reading some letter (Nikolas does not know from who but he put it away rather quick). Blaise nowhere to be found though presumably with Daphne since the girl can make everyone lower their attitude into the best one yet. However, what interested him the most was the fact that Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle are missing. With Theodore's knowledge on where they went, Nikolas barged out of the dungeons with the other boy then heading to follow along.

             "You know Draco is going to get angry," Theodore sighs, grabbing Nikolas's arm with a gentle grasp. Nikolas turns around to face his friend and he glares past his eyes not wanting to direct it to him. He must have seen the effort of not doing it to him when he gives him a short smile.

             "I am angry, Theodore," Nikolas huffs out. "He should be scared of me! I mean seriously, this rivalry between the houses is stupid and a waste of time. It would be fun if it were simple competitions like trying to get a greater amount of house points, but bully—"

             He stops suddenly when he feels the warmth of hands reaching up his cheeks. His words get lost in the tip of his tongue and he stares at Theodore in slight shock. There is something about the touch... familiar. Have they done this before? Nikokas swallows nervously and forces himself to stare at Theodore's eyes and nowhere else. Not at his hands that he knows are pressed softly against his face, not at the way he is close to his lips— nope, not at all. His friend does not seem to look fazed by what he is doing and instead is staring at him kindly.

             "Relax," Theodore whispers. "We'll go to the pitch and watch. They will always make fun of their playing in the hopes to catch them off guard and make them lose confidence, but if you see more than that going on... then make him or anyone else regret it, alright?"

             Nikolas slowly nods, letting his eyes for a mere second wander down to the hands by his cheeks. Familiar. Except, he cannot recall why or how it feels familiar. Either way, it all seems to vanish when Theodore finally notices what he did and takes a step back. The two boys briefly stand there frozen until Nikolas shakes his head and begins dragging Theodore out onto the Quidditch field. He does not understand what just happened. That was weird. Weird, but nice. Or nerve racking. Or something that felt like he should know what just happened and yet he doesn't. Does that mean Theodore does? Nikolas eyes him for a few seconds before focusing forward once more.

             "What is that Weasley's riding?" He hears the familiar mocking tone of Draco Malfoy reach his ears unpleasantly. Nikolas grimaces already, taking a rather annoyed look at Theodore he mimics his expression. "Why would anyone put a Flying Charm on a moldy old log like that?"

             Nikolas makes his way to the stands and sits down to watch the training the Gryffindors are planning to do. His attention heads toward the laughter coming from his own housemates and suddenly, his mouth drops in surprise. There is no way... Nikolas widens his eyes, glaring down at the three Slytherins who shrieks with laughter at the idiotic nonsense that escaped Draco's mouth.

             "You've got to be shitting me," Nikolas scoffs, leaning back on his seat unamused when he knows he can recognize Pansy's short hair from that far. Theodore follows his eyesight and makes a face.

             "Yeah, she's got a thing for Draco," Theodore clears his throat, glancing at the boy beside him warily. Nikolas scrunches up his nose in disgust and crosses his arms. "And she doesn't like Gryffindors much."

             "Merlin, you've got to be joking," Nikolas mutters with distaste. "As long as she—"

             "Hey, Johnson," Pansy calls out toward the beautiful dark-skinned Gryffindor girl. "What's with that hairstyle anyway? Why would anyone want to look like they've got worms coming out of their head?"

             Nikolas openly gapes at his supposed friend. Angelina Johnson, the girl Pansy completely bullied, ignores her obvious hit and continued to talk to her own teammates instead of acknowledging the comment. When no one else called out Pansy for her racist remark, Nikolas stood up from his seat and jumped in front of his friend. The short-haired girl squeals in surprise before she notices the anger in his eyes.

             "Niko...?"

             "Apologize to her," Nikolas demands, narrowing his eyes at his friend accusingly. Pansy stares at him in shock and takes a step away from him. "You have no right nor excuse for saying that her natural hair is horrid when it is quite beautiful. I came here knowing I would have to keep Draco and his pesky donkeys in check— I didn't realize you were a part of this too."

             "What are you on about?" Pansy defends herself harshly. "Becoming a Gryffindor—"

             "Don't say it," Nikolas cuts her off coldly. "Don't you dare bring up rivalry into this when it is nothing about that. Have you ever taken the time to notice how awfully cruel your comments are? How this passes the level of bullying and has gone straight to giving Johnson a racist comment? Just because her hair is different than yours, or because her skin is darker does not give you an excuse for being blatantly stupid."

             "Take that back!" Pansy gasps.

             "No," Nikolas responds coolly. "I'm not the same person you befriended in your first year, Pansy. Apologize to Johnson and for the meantime, think about how unnecessary and racist that comment and any more ideas you have in your head are."

             Pansy furrows her eyebrows in surprise and she parts her lips confusedly. "For the meantime?" She repeats carefully. All the while, Theodore is watching their conversation closely. There is an unsure look on his face as if he has never seen them actually argue before.

             "I can tolerate the fact that you don't like Gryffindors, but I won't simply stand there and watch you make fun of someone for something they cannot control," Nikolas announces. "That is barely considered human decency. You would not like it if someone were to comment about your hair, your skin, or your pronunciation, would you?"

             "Are you... unfriending me?" Pansy widens her eyes in realization, her lips forming into a light frown at his words.

             Nikolas softens his gaze and sighs, "Are you willing to see where I'm going with this?" Pansy does not answer him, but she holds a conflicted expression. He eyes her curiously before he starts to back away knowing that by now some people were staring his way. Even Angelina Johnson herself is staring at him in surprise. He does not know where he is going exactly, but he no longer wants to watch the Quidditch training or here anymore comments made by his own housemates. When he is far away as possible, he lets out another sigh of his own and rubs his temples carefully.

             As if forgetting Theodore was with him all along, he jumps when the other boy places his hand on his shoulder in concern. "You alright?"

             "I hate this," Nikolas admits. "Where did my morals stand before this whole mind eraser thing, Theo— Theodore?" The young boy accidentally lets out the nickname of his friend before correcting himself. He crouches down the floor and lets his eyes fall toward the trees and the leaves that fall from its branches.

             "You have always been the best of us," Theodore murmurs, sitting down right beside him. "Pansy always goes for the looks... you know she does not think about race—"

             "That's the thing," Nikolas cuts him off sharply. "I don't know, alright? I don't know how she used to act, I don't know anyone! I am speaking up for the things that bother me. And me not knowing doesn't make my words any less true. Personality is one thing, but going after someone with something they can't—"

             Theodore presses his hand on his arms gently. "It's okay," he comforts quietly. "You are right to call her out for it. There is no need for you to explain... I suppose I should have stepped in as well."

             Nikolas does not bother to agree or disagree. Instead, he lets his eyes wander toward his friend. Out of everyone, Theodore seems to want to be the most patient one. Him or Daphne. Blaise is just... Blaise. He is not sure what that means, but it definitely fits him. Theodore is the one willing to explain to him of others without giving much bias; once or twice he claims that he liked or did not like a person, but not too much. Just enough to make Nikolas form his own opinion. Nikolas likes it like that.

             "Thank you," he blurts out. Theodore furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

             "For what?"

             Nikolas licks his lips nervously and shrugs. "For understanding. I know that there are things I have changed in... or things I can't remember that you do, but you still stayed. You're still here," he admits, gazing right at him with a soft smile hoping it can reach his gratitude.

             Theodore stills for a few seconds before nodding. "I'm still here," he assures firmly.

             And it is just two boys, one knowing all the secrets between them while the other trying to recall who they are. Either way, with all their own drama to upheld, they still manage to find themselves together without being so.

.･:*:･ﾟ'✫,'✫'ﾟ･:*:･˙

             NIKOLAS HAS HEARD HOW Hermione Granger is the most brilliant witch at Hogwarts. Apparently, she is the type that adores being huddled up in the library and reading any book she finds. Nikolas is not like that at all. He hates studying, he hates classes, and he would rather spend his free time trying to play Quidditch. However, he truly does not have the energy to play for the Slytherin team as of now— perhaps next year, but with his memory loss situation he thinks getting hit by a bludger will not be too good.

             His eyes rereads the letter his mother sent him. It will be okay, my darling. Just know that I love you. Nikolas swallows down the lump in his throat. He cannot imagine how his mother is feeling knowing he does not recall many memories of her... just the ones that he was able to capture after Dumbledore's arrival. She is a strong woman, his mother. The way she is holding herself up and letting him have the chance to return to Hogwarts. Less time spent with her when all of summer she did not leave his side in fear of anything happening to him again.

             The worst part of this whole situation is that she is doing her best to make him feel loved despite not having any memories. It makes him wonder what relationship he lost with her. Just the two of them and now... to her it feels like she lost him— or at least that is what he is assuming it is like.

             Nikolas rubs his eyes and places the letter away. There has to be a way to get him to remember... he has to remember. He leans back on his seat before a sudden idea is brought into his head. Right away, he stands up from his place and hurries off to the library.

             He arrives there breathlessly and lets out a smile of relief when he notices a familiar bushy-haired girl sitting by herself on a table. Nikolas calmly heads toward her and sits opposite from her. He waits for a couple of seconds for her to finish reading whatever book she has on her hands. When she does, her eyes glances up and a flash of surprise appears as well of suspicion.

             "Archambeau," Hermione Granger announces in shock, briefly laying down her book as she takes notice of him. "What are you doing here?"

             Nikolas stares at her amusedly. "It is a public library. Also, do you have to call me by my last name? Isn't it long?"

             Hermione scrunches her nose in confusion. "I... I suppose?"

             "Call me Niko then. Or at the least Nikolas, please," he corrects politely, locking his hands together while a grin rests on his face. Hermione purses her lips into a thin line before nodding.

             "Alright, but that doesn't explain why you are sitting with me," she answers quietly. Nikolas stays silent for a couple of seconds before he lets out a sigh.

             "I need your help," he confesses, being carefully in taking to see how she reacts to his words. As expected, she widens her eyes and leans back being caught off guard. She repeats the words under breath in disbelief. Nikolas waits for her to get a grip on the idea and luckily, it does not take long.

             "My help?" She repeats, closing her book shut as she stares down at him. "What could you possibly need?"

             Nikolas gives her an awkward smile. "Your excellent skills of intelligence. Theodore told me you're one of the smartest at Hogwarts, and if he favored Gryffindors I'm sure he'd say the number one," he answers. Hermione widens her eyes in surprise, her cheeks blossoming red in thought before she clears her throat and motions for him to continue. "I want to know if there is a way to get my memory back," Nikolas admits out loud.

             Hermione parts her lips in surprise (and really she should have seen it coming). "Getting your memory back? Arc— Nikolas, is that possible? I haven't read any of that sort," she responds hesitantly.

             "I haven't read at all, but Dumbledore mentioned that if my mind reacted fast then there is a chance that they can be buried inside," Nikolas informs her, nervously swallowing deeply having no clue if the Gryffindor is willing to help him. However, maybe there is a chance for a truce between Gryffindor and Slytherin when Hermione gives him a short nod in understanding.

             "Alright..." Hermione murmurs, "Except you will need to help me as well! It is already hard enough being friends with Harry. We will need to meet up here in the library and spend approximately thirty minutes to an hour, understood? I'm usually here everyday."

             Nikolas stares at her in surprise before he nods repeatedly. "Yeah, yeah, that's cool! Pleasant," he exclaims, his smile being regained while she stands up and motions to follow her.

             One hour.

             They spent their time in the library for one hour and they did not find anything relevant to their search. And Nikolas knows this path will not be easy but when it is his memory they are talking about it does get tired easily enough. He closes the current book he has and sighs disappointedly. His eyes meet Hermione's who seems tired but rather determined as well. And unlike him, she seems to enjoy reading all the useless facts they have read.

             "This is hopeless," Nikolas announces, his voice only quietening down when he receives a shush from that one librarian (what was her name again? Prince? Pence?). Hermione (who he is sure is slightly warming up to him because she rambled quite on when she found something interesting and even though it was unimportant to the search Nikolas still listened because he figures it is something she loves doing) gives him a stern look.

             "You just brought me into this whole thing, Nikolas," Hermione warns, "I will not give up until I find the answer."

             Nikolas stares at her impressively. "You would fit right in with the Slytherins," he compliments. "Definitely got the ambitious part done."

             Hermione purses her lips. "Not really ideal with being a muggleborn— you know that, right?" Her eyes had shifted to be wary unaware of how he would react. Fortunately, Nikolas knows and he does not care.

             "Yeah, Theodore told me," Nikolas shrugs. "I heard Draco bothers you for it. If he continues you can just come to me, I know how to put him in his place." A slight smirk appears knowing exactly how to get under Draco's skin even without laying a figure (and with too!).

             Hermione finally gives him a short smile, her cheeks reddening. "You might be warming up to me, Nikolas. You should be careful, then you'll have the Gryffindors pining after you," she tells him.

             Nikolas slightly grimaces and adds, "I don't swing in the way of the ladies."

             "Yeah, I know. I just meant they don't like Slytherins, but with you... that changes some things up," Hermione responds easily. At her words, Nikolas furrows his eyebrows in confusion. She knows? Does everyone know? How does she know? What the fuck?

             "How did you know?" He questions, his eyebrows scrunching up close together when he notices her eyes widen in shock before it cools down immediately. Nikolas stares at her in slight suspicion before questioning, "Did I announce it to the whole school?"

             Hermione parts her lips unsure of what to say before nodding her head. "Well, yes," she murmurs.

             The young Slytherin makes an odd sound and scoffs. "Brilliant... I would make a fool out of myself but I apparently could not stand up to others?" Nikolas crosses his arms clearly annoyed by the lack of qualities he used to have. Loud, but uninvolved. Mouthful, but quiet when it came to actually speaking for others. He might as well had been the bully!

             "Sometimes we find courage along the way," Hermione starts off slowly. She places her hand gently by his arm as if she is comforting him despite not even knowing him before. "I'm not sure why you were quiet before... Niko, but from what I have seen now, you're not a bad person. And if you aren't now then perhaps that meant even before there was some good in you."

             Nikolas offers her a smile, taking knowledge of not just her words but also the way that she chose to say his nickname. "Then I was just an idiot for having not befriend you before, Hermione. You're quite splendid to be around. A little too smart for me, but this is probably the most reading I have done that does not involve Herbology."

             The Gryffindor girl laughs quietly with a small nod. "Alright, then. Hermione Granger, Gryffindor student who spends her time holed up in the library or with the two idiots, Harry and Ron," she holds out her hand.

             Nikolas grins at her choice of actions and meets her hand. "Nikolas Archambeau. Slytherin student who spends his time surrounded by plants or with Theodore, Blaise, Daphne, or Pan—" he stops himself at last, a small frown forming on his lips. Speaking of, he has not spoken to Pansy at all since their lat encounter at the Quidditch practice for Gryffindors. Not even Daphne was able to convince him to talk to her (he would if Pansy took her time to formally think about how wrong her words were and how to apologize properly).

             Hermione raises an eyebrow. "Having troubles with Parkinson?"

             The frown stays still on his lips. "She was one of the bullies along with Draco," he mumbles, clear enough for Hermione to understand him. The new friend of his purses her lips into a thin line.

             "She... certainly bullied me along with him," Hermione admits, and Nikolas snaps his head up at her in shock. Noticing his expression, she gives him a smile. "But I could always tell that she loved you. It doesn't excuse her, of course, but I think that if she still loves you then she will find a way to see how you see the world, Nikolas. It is difficult trying to change a person, but it is not impossible with the right intentions."

             "Smart and wise," Nikolas comments in awe. "If I liked girls, Herman—"

             "My nickname will not be Herman—"

             "— I would have a crush on you," he continues over her words, snickering when she slaps his arm with her hand.

             And even with his memory loss, this does not mean that Nikolas cannot make any more friends. In fact, isn't that what he needs? To look for some answers but not let it get to the point where his only mission in life is to remember who he was? And truth be told, it was the reason he had gone to Hermione instead of his friends. She has no connection. No explanation to who he was before, but she still gave him enough help to get them to start figuring out what happen, but also enough to make a new friend. Someone who does not expect anything from him, no obligations, no memory of the two.

             He just wants to be... normal.

▂✫⌒*･ﾟ

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
this actually took me like a week
to write but then i suddenly got
inspiration cuz i saw a tiktok that
was like 'how do you say i love you
without saying the three words' and
then i realized that i had written 'i'm still
here' and yeah 😎 altho... i was kinda
multitasking cuz whenever i would not
know what to say i'd move on to writing
on my regulus fic or oliver one 🌚

anyway, just accept the new friendship
i love friends. friends are good. 💖