" He is....J..Jamal"

Though Sidra didn't knew who Jamal was but seeing the pain and anguish of her friend also caused her tears to trickle down her eyes as she engulfed Emaan in her embrace.

Khaled had just came out of performing one surgery and was quickly marching towards the wards dealing with extreme severity cases when his eyes fell on the ruckus created around one of the stations that were alloted to the doctors examining incoming casualities. He ran towards the crowd and siding the people to see the cause of ruckus,he came across Sidra who was trying to pacify the people and then his eyes fell on Emaan who was sitting on the floor lost while tears trickled down her eyes.
Khaled fisting his hands sighed as the guilt he had been feeling since yesterday had increased to tenfold seeing Emaan in the condition .

Is she again having a panic attack ?..Why is so afraid of blood ? ..

Wrestling with the thoughts that Emaan's condition had ensued ,Khaled moved towards Sidra and raising his hand up in air ,he addressed the crowd in his dominating voice ,

"ALSAMT !....aljamie sayahsulun ealaa aleilaj walreiyat walakum min ajl dhlk yjb 'an tatahalaa bialsabr "( SILENCE.!...everybody will be given treatment and looked after but for that you need to have patience).

Hearing Khaled's voice ,Emaan came out of her reverie and tried to stop her flowing tears as not wanting to appear vulnerable infront of him.

Seeing everyone calm ,Khaled turned towards Sidra and asked,

" Dr Sidra ,can you explain the cause of this ruckus?"

" Dr Khaled ...one of the casualty that came is no more and Emaan knew him very well...... "

Khaled was shocked but he was more shocked the way his heart had constricted thinking about the relation Emaan might have with the man that made her cry for him. Chopping off the novel and ridiculous thoughts his mind was sprouting,Khaled nodded his head and asked Sidra ,

"Dr Sidra you go back to your station while I will manage this one ..okay "

Sidra nodded at him and giving a quick glance at Emaan,she ran towards her station to deal with the crowd of casualties around her station.

After a period of time ,seeing the crowd had reduced around the station and asking the body of Jamal to be shifted in mortuary ,Khaled went over to Emaan and said ,

" Dr Emaan, would you please come with me !"

Emaan nodding her head stood up and followed Khaled knowing full well what was to come next . But to her amazement ,Khaled asked her to sit on the bench and vanished somewhere. Trying to comprehend Khaled's behaviour ,Emaan was lost in thoughts when she heard clearing of throat .As she looked up she saw Khaled standing before her with a glass of water . Emaan looked at Khaled and then at glass totally confused . Finding glass still in his hand ,Khaled who had been looking sideward all this time looked at Emaan and found her staring at him with confusion, he gestured her to take the glass with his eyes causing Emaan's confusion to drain as she tentatively took the glass & looked down feeling ashamed & embarassed of staring at him. Giving her the glass of water ,Khaled moved backwards and leaning against the wall said ,

"Dr Emaan I am not going to ask you to go back to your work or to stop crying.....but only gonna say that the pain you are experiencing will be experienced by many others may be much deeper but this number can be less if you courage up to face your fear and pain now ...and remember  "Allah does not burden a soul beyond it can bear "...so if Allah SWT believes you can bear this pain and still serve the people then don't betray HIS belief in you by giving up but seek strength through that belief.....make use of the knowledge HE has blessed you with when it is most needed..,...... " Khaled said earnestly .

Emaan was amazed by Khaled's words which for the first time had lacked rudeness or sarcasm of any kind , with all that shock, she could only nod in reply .Seeing Emaan nodding & relaxing a bit ,Khaled tentatively asked her ,

" Do you know the deceased family members or their contact numbers ? .."

Emaan's heart & eyes burned with scorching pain ,it was this fear that had grated her heart to the extreme ,the agony that rattled her heart to the core ,no matter what she couldn't muster the courage to tell  Khadeja aljida and Hassan about Jamal...the people who had always tried to lighten her world with happiness and joy, how could she tell them the news that was to darken their life with gloom and sadness ...that was to flip their lives altogether. She had struggled to brave herself to bear the pain of losing her loved ones but she could not brave herself to see the people she loved go through the same unbearable pain...

Coming out of her thoughts ,Emaan just nodded her head in affirmative.

Sensing her discomfort ,Khaled quickly spoke ,

"You don't need to worry Dr Emaan ,I will do the job of informing them....you just give me the contact number .."

Emaan nodding her head, stood up and took out her phone from her coat and with shivering hands searched the number and showed it to Khaled. Khaled quickly noted down the number in his mobile but he couldn't help but notice the shivering hands of Emaan, causing a surge of feeling of pity invade his heart. But Khaled was oblivious that this feeling of  pity was just the budding leaf of emotion that had sprouted from the seed of love implanted in his heart by AL WADUD fifty thousand years ago.

___________________________________________

Horrors of incoming casualties ended to let way for the nightmare of wails ,sobs & shrieks to inaugurate .To Emaan every shriek and wail  felt like a blunt knife piercing through her heart causing an agonizing pain but yet not enough to kill her . Though number of lives saved was more than lost but when it comes to death no less is less but always more. The pain that death accompanies enacts more like a black hole consuming every positivity leaving a dearth in the heart and this dearth was what every doctor of Al Firdaus was feeling. With Yamama and Sidra gone to offer Isha salah ,Emaan sat in the waiting area ,trying to hold on to every strand of strength and courage in her heart so that she could face the upcoming battle...the battle of facing Aljida and Hassan and be their anchor in the storm of their lives. But occasional echoes of wails and sobs crumbled her every effort and when she closed her ears to stop listening to those pajnful sobs ,the images of smiling Hassan with his trophy, Jamal making Aljida eat from his hands and admiration of Aljida's eyes for his son start reeling infront of her eyes making her vision go blur with tears and her strength to falter down again . As Emaan struggled with her chaotic thoughts, when the notification bell from her mobile brought her out of the sea of illusion to the shore of reality. As she took out her mobile ,she was shocked to see fifty- one missed calls from a international number and sixty messages from UNERCO...she couldn't comprehend the reason behind so many messages from UNERCO as before she could open it she heard the voice of Hassan,

" UKHTI...."

Emaan felt her every effort to strengthen herself was like a mirage which was fading away more and more as Hassan and Aljida walked closer to her. Despite her condition which felt like a wavering leaf amidst storm she stood up to face the inevitable. As Aljida and Hassan stood before her, Aljida spoke in Arabic to which Hassan transalated,

" Ukhti ,Aljida is asking are you alright ...we got a call from hospital to come here ...we worried for you "

Listening to Hassan ,Emaan's every restraint broke down ,as she sat down crying hysterically .She hid her face with her hands wanting everything to vanish like a bad dream but this reality was worse than a bad dream. She couldn't fathom how was she supposed to tell these kind beings who were concern about her that their life have been struck by a devastating tragedy .Aljida and Hassan sat beside Emaan trying to console her making her feel more guilty and more devastated .

Khaled had just came back from mosque praying Isha Salah when he saw Emaan and two other people in waiting area consoling her ,he instantly realised who they were and knowing Emaan wouldn't be able to say, he jogged towards them. Reaching there , he spoke making all three of them look up at him ,

" Dr Emaan ..are they his relatives ?"

Emaan only nodded with tears cascading down her face. Khaled giving a reassuring look to Emaan, took a long breath and addressed to aljida as he said,

"Min fadlik sayidati , hal tati maei?"( Please Ma'am would you come with me )

Khadeja Aljida looked skeptically at Khaled and then at Emaan .Then again looking back at Khaled ,Aljida nodded her head and followed him with Emaan and Hassan tailing behind her. Aljida had not been feeling well since morning, her heart had been knotting with fear of unknown .She had been tensed with absurd premonition her mind had been breeding due to the critical situation the country was brewing up with .She had called Jamal in morning and listening from him that he was fine ..gave her a relief but it was only temporary as her heart again went back to constricting from time to time with anxiety and worry .She felt tensed about Emaan...the girl to whom she had come to love immensely from the time she had met her. And yesterday seeing Emaan's breakdown ,Aljida's heart palpitated more with worry for Emaan and she incessantly prayed for her . And when she had got a call from Al Firdous hospital asking her to come,her heart had dropped to the lowest pit as her mind picturised several scenarios involving Emaan and every scenario made her heart clutched with more apprehension. But on reaching the hospital & seeing Emaan alright had given her heart a relief though her crying still had Aljida jumbled up with worry. But now as she followed Khaled, her feet felt heavy with every step she took & her heart seem to beat more loudly ,too scared of what her destination was going to reveal. As they entered the mortuary ,the coldness of the room made Aljida realise she was sweating , her steps halted at the door as she saw white cloth covered bodies . Khaled turned back to see Aljida was still standing on the door..all lost in thoughts. He walked back to her and softly holding her hands brought her out of her reverie and slowly made her walk towards the body of Jamal. Aljida looked apprehensively at the body and then at Khaled and held Khaled's arm as he uncovered the face .

Aljida let go off Khaled's arm as she wide eyed looked at the face of his son .With shivering hands she moved to touch the face thinking it was a dream .But as she touched the face ,her heart crumbled down and so she herself but Khaled held her preventing her from falling down as she wailed ,

" Qala....'iinah bikhayr....Qala....'iinah bikhayr.. Qala...'iinah sayati.....ya Allah ya Allah ....limadha abnay ....kan yjb 'an takhhudh hayati limadha ya bunaya...ya Allah"
( He..he said he was fine....He..he said he was fine....He ..said he will come ....ya Allah ya Allah why my son ...YOU should have took my life why my son....ya Allah ).

Listening to aljida ,Hassan ran inside the room only to falter in his step as he saw his father's face .Emaan stifled a sob as she saw a bewildered Hassan. Hassan moved towards his father's body with tears brimming in his eyes and shook him lightly as he said in throaty voice ,

" Abba astayqiz ...aljidat tabki...aedak ' ánani  sa 'aemal bijidin 'akthar.....astayiz Abbi....ya Abbi .."
( Abba wake up....Aljida is crying....I promise I will work hard more....wake up Abbi....ya Abbi...)

Seeing no response ,Hassan shook the body of Jamal more asking him to wake up ,seeing this Emaan went to him and held him by his shoulder  .Hassan looked at her with teary eyes  and said,

" Ukhti please make Abba wake up....I have to show him my trophy ..please you can do it na"

Emaan helplessly nodded in negative with tears falling from her eyes . A tear fell from Hassan's eyes as he asked ,

" He won't wake up ?"

Emaan unable to answer his question just hugged Hassan tightly and Hassan burst out crying as he finally realised his father was never gonna wake up again. With every sob and wail ,Emaan wrapped her arms more protectively around Hassan as she knew losing a parent followed the feeling of desolation caused by the loss of protectiveness that a parent's presence encompassed .Even though she felt like breaking apart seeing the people she loved go through immense pain but like always Allah had fulfilled her dua and granted her strength ,& this time not just to stand for herself but to be a pillar of support  for the people she loved .

Emaan look towards her right to see Khaled consoling Aljida and for the first time Emaan didn't felt annoyance or fear of having Khaled by her side but a gush of relief surrounded her with his presence.

___________________________________________

Knowing the tyrannical government policy with regards to injured casualties, doctors of Al Firdous hospital knew government would put some hindrance in the burial of the dead casualties thus they had decided to perform burial of deceased casualties before morning .The burial had taken place in a graveyard near Al Firdous hospital.  It had became a mammoth of a task to control and console Aljida and Hassan at the time of burial of Jamal. The incessant crying had caused Aljida's blood pressure and sugar level to spike up to hypertensive crisis level as a result she had to be admitted immediately. Emaan stayed back whole night despite doctors asking her to leave and to have rest ,but she denied & took care of Aljida and Hassan ,who refused to leave Aljida's side and didn't talked to anyone beside Emaan. Being a child ,Hassan had easily gone to sleep after so much crying but Aljida slept only after fajr when the medicines had started having its affect on her . Emaan looking at them had thought that how time changes situations ..only yesterday they had been her strength and today she was trying to be their's but in all this circle of being eachother's strength, the source of that strength was one and same - the RAB of all world ,who took care of us in ways we could never comprehend ,giving us strength we never thought we had or could muster and all of this just required was utter belief & hope in HIM....and Emaan had decided she was just going to do that....

__________________________________________

Splashing water on her face to wad off her sleepiness as it was already morning and she hadn't slept a bit entire night. Emaan performed ablution even though she knew she couldn't pray but it was her habit to remain always in a state of wudu after she had learnt about its virtues from her parents.

( In the state of wudu every breath of the believer is counted as a good deed and it is the only mechanism through which Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) will recognise His ummah on the day of Judgement.)

After ablution ,Emaan was moving towards the ward to check on  Aljida and Hassan before going to canteen where Sidra and Yamama were waiting for her to have breakfast . But as she was going towards the ward ,she heard her name called out & as she turned back she saw Hala  standing along with Dr Masry ,Dr Khaled and two new faces, was calling out to her. Emaan marched towards them and as she reached there she noticed Khaled had already left after taking some file from Dr Masry, while seeing her Hala spoke up,

"Dr Emaan this lady and gentleman is from UNERCO ..she wants to talk to you urgently"

Emaan confusingly looked at the lady who putting her hand forward for a handshake introduced herself,

"Hello Miss Ahmed ,I am Carol Phillips ,an official from UNERCO and this is Gunther Stiles my secretary "

Emaan shaking Carol's hand smiled slightly at her though still confused about their business of arrival. Seeing her confused expression ,Carol said,

"Miss Ahmed I need to discuss with you an urgent business..we have a message for you from UNERCO...so can we talk at some quiet place".

Before Emaan could reply ,Dr Masry spoke up ,

" You can use my office ....it's close by ....Dr Emaan it's open ,take your guests with you & if there is anything else you need inform Hala...okay ...."

Emaan nodded and muttering a thank you ,she guided Carol and Gunther to Dr Masry's office . As soon as they had settled down ,Carol spoke up,

" Miss Ahmed we have been to trying contact you for a while but seeing the situation here we can understand you must have been busy "

Emaan only nodded as Carol continued to speak,

" Miss Ahmed we are here to take you with us as seeing the worsening situation we cannot let you stay here any longer ....as a official of UNERCO my duty is to safely take you back to India ".

" But Miss Phillips I don't want to go " Emaan said alarmingly .

Carol looked bewildered at Emaan's words and then getting hold of her confused state ,she said,

" Miss Emaan you are a responsibility of UNERCO ...UNERCO acted as an intermediary in assigning you here and now if anything happens to you it could mar the status of  UNERCO and worse would even create a rift between your country and this one.."

" Miss Phillips I know UNERCO helped me to get my job assigned here ...but even when I was signing my contract of coming here it was solely guided by my own decision and so then its logical that my departure from this country should be guided by my own decision only....and about rift between countries ...my country gives me freedom of choice and I have made a choice that before adhering to the responsibility of belonging to any nationality I need to adhere to the responsibility of being a human first ..." Emaan said with herself being shocked with the way her words had poured out confidently .

" See Miss Ahmed ,if you are afraid that your decision of leaving now will breach the contract and you will have to pay penalty then don't worry about that..your contract contains emergency clause which allows you to leave this place in case of emergency without the need of paying penalty..."

" Miss Phillips it's not about that ...I want to stay "

" Are you pressurised by the staff of here or anything like that you can tell me Miss Ahmed ...I am here to help "

Giving a small smile ,Emaan said ,

" Thank you for your concern Miss Phillips but I am not pressurised by anyone... it's my own independent decision .."

"Miss Ahmed I must say I am impressed by your gallantry but this surging heroism in you can cost you a lot ...and by lot includes your life too".

" Miss Phillips my decision is not because of some surging heroism in me rather it's just that I came here with the purpose to serve and treat people with the knowlege my Allah has blessed me with...& how can I leave when the people here need my service  more than ever ..I can't betray them ,I can't betray the knowlege my Lord has given me ....and I rather die by staying here and serving & saving people and  preventing dismantling of families then to go back and live a long life marred by guilt and regret ..& Death is inevitable no one can escape it ...one has to die someday so then wouldn't it be better if we die by enacting our part of making the world a better place ....."Emaan said earnestly .

Carol Phillips studied Emaan for a while and then sighing, signalled Gunther to open the briefcase from which he took out some papers and voice recorder and handed to Miss Phillips while Emaan inquisitively looked at the conundrum happening infront of her eyes. Pushing the papers towards Emaan ,Miss Phillip said,

" Miss Emaan these are papers which you need to sign ...the paper states that your decision of staying here is guided by your whims and UNERCO is not involved in this decision and anything that happens to you while working here at such times ...which includes severe injury ,being handicapped or...death ...UNERCO won't be held responsible for it .....and after you sign & give your thumb impression you need to record the audio in your voice stating the same .."

Emaan nodded her head and recorded her voice audio and then went on to sign the papers when Carol stopped her as she said,

" Miss Ahmed , before you sign to finalise your decision ...I want you to think about your family or your parents back at home .."

Emaan pursed her lips then giving a smile to Carol, she said,

" My parents are no more " Saying it she signed the papers and went ahead with giving her thumb impression when she heard Carol speak ,

"Mr Khaled ..could you please act as one of the witness from Al Firdous & sign the papers  ,Gunther can be another witness from our side.."

Emaan stiffened finding about Khaled's presence in the room but she also couldn't help but cringe at the underhand flirtatious tone of Carol however Khaled who was lost in some thoughts didn't seem to notice it & only nodded and moved towards the table to sign.

" Can I leave now I have patients to attend " Emaan said giving her thumb imprint .

Carol nodded and forwaded her hand for a shake as she said ,

" All the best Miss Ahmed ...I really admire your courage and dedication "

" Thank you Miss Phillips " Emaan said shaking Carol's hand & turned to leave  without bothering to give a glance at Khaled who stood behind her .

But only if she had looked up she would have seen the eyes that had always remained cold and distant had somewhat melted by the warmth of admiration that sparkled in them for her.

___________________________________________

Bismillah

It was quite a long chapter!!! ...writing this was a bit difficult because I ended up crying in middle of it and even had a  thought of discontinuing the book...even though I had imagined these scenes of Hassan and Aljida way back but writing it really hit me hard...I don't know I was able to make you feel the same pain or not...if not I am sorry I think I was too emotional to write ....

Do recite Surah Feel before you end the chapter .

Do remember me and entire ummah in your precious duas.

Faqat abd e Rahmana
Sadaf

Assalamuaalaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu🍂