In my own, personal opinion, I believe that being annoying is, perhaps, one of the most successful things you can do. Everyone knows that feeling when someone says something, and you just hurt. You don't know what to say or do, but you just keep a smile on  your face and pretend like it didn't hurt, when we all know it really did. Here's how to get through that.

1. Recognize how much of a baller you actually are.

If this person is actually so attentive to you that they actually have said something to hurt you're feelings, you know you're doing something right. The main thing here is to just ignore them. Giving them what they want to see is always the downfall. You must always have the last laugh, and it doesn't necessarily have to be witty. The trick here is to come up with a key phrase. You use this key phrase all the time - constantly. Never forget about it. When a person gives you something that you can't think of a reply for, you use this phrase.

My own personal favorite is one that a few of my friends started using (Copyright to YouWereWrong, 2014 BBC Official):

Them: "The fact that you don't ever shut up, and the fact that you're politically incorrect, might be why no one ever wants to talk to you."

Me: "That's great, m8 : - )"

Them: "I really can't wait for the day until you get up and leave."

Me: "Great, I'll grab my stuff... m8 : - )"

I know, I know. You obviously can't SAY a smiley face. Or can you? I'm funny as fucking hell, so I say outloud, "colon-hyphen-parenthesis" which translates into ": - )". Be blunt. Find humor in the simplest of things. Your phrase also relies on how you say it. I often use the word "friend," even to those I don't like, but I put emphasis on the D.

I wish my man chocolate would put as much emphasis on the D as I do.

2. Don't. Stop.

The more repetitive you are, the better. Never stop with anything you say, and don't let anyone get in your way. The key to be annoying, to pissing off your enemies all the better, is by never shutting your mouth for a second. Don't give them a chance to talk, and try your best not to stutter. If you say the wrong word or make a mistake, improvise like an abandoned lion cub who meets a meerkat and a warthog in the middle of the African jungle.

3. Be yourself. Don't let what you think others might be funny change you. The goal isn't to change yourself. Remember: You just want to fuck with the people you don't like.

Revision: Please do not fuck with the people you don't like. If you're going to do that with someone, at least allow yourself to like them first. #adviceintensified

4. Keep it simple.

It's obvious that I'm one for swear words and what not, but keep it PG. The more innocent you are, the more aggressive it becomes, and not even Kim Possible can stop you. It asserts the idea that you haven't done anything wrong, and the last thing you want is for the target to be a step ahead of you because you got yourself into a fix.

As a final note, please be careful.

I have no doubt in my mind that you're all very smart, considering you read my stories, and everyone who reads my works has at least SOME sense in them. But be careful. If you think you're going to get your feelings hurt, don't start anything. And don't go off trying to hurt other people.

That's not very nice, friend. : - )