This is for Mana_Aoi 's contest :))

I stared out into the murky water below. It swirled around, ready to swallow me. I wondered how many people has stood here before me, reliving their memories as they got ready to let go of them forever.

Libraries gave us power
Then work came and made us free

I would never be free from my past. This was my last resort.

What price now
For a shallow piece of dignity

Memories I wanted to forget flowed into my head, like the dark river water, invading my thoughts. I shook my head, trying to rid my brain of them, but they just kept coming back. The fear and the loss I had felt all those years ago were back.

Jump now, I told myself. Jump now and you'll be able to forget all the sadness that you've felt.

But I couldn't. Not before going back one last time.

=2 years ago=

I wish I had a bottle
Right here in my dirty face
To wear the scars
To show from where I came

Shiroko lay next to me on the soft grass, twisting her hair around her finger absent-mindedly. "Wakiya," she whispered.

I turned my face towards her. "Yeah?"

"You know I'll never leave you, right?"

I nodded.

Shiroko paused, then sat up and looked at me properly. "I promise I'll never leave you like everyone else. I'll always be here, no matter what."

I stared at her, tears filling my eyes. "I want to believe you," I sob.

We don't talk about love
We only want to get drunk

Shiroko placed her hand over mine. "I wish I could erase the past. So that no one ever left you, the beyclub, your family... Everyone would be here."

I smiled through my tears. "I'm fine, really. I don't need anyone."

Shiroko rolled her eyes. "That's what they all say," she said fiercely. " 'I'm fine'. But they never are. I can see it in their eyes."

And we are not allowed to spend
As we are told this is the end.

I cried harder at Shiroko's words. They were true. Everyone left me when things got hard. No one stuck around to help me.

All I wanted was to show someone what I had been through.

I wanted her to give me warmth. To give me some light in this darkness. To tell me that everything was going to be ok.

But, like everyone else, she eventually pushed me away.

I thought she was different, but she was just like everyone else I knew. A traitor.

This wasn't what I wanted. I couldn't take this pain.

A design for life.