in a dream
I saw my mother
with the love of her life
and no children
it was the happiest i'd ever seen her
—what if

He traces tiny little circles on the lines of my
palm, looking all so serious.
Can you really read palms? I ask.
Yes, he says.
What's my future then?
And I swear, his eyes light up like a thousand
fireflies, and a smile crosses his lips for the first time.
Us.
—cynthia go // an excerpt from a book i'll never write

Tell me Father,
which to ask forgiveness for:
what I am? Or what I am not?
Tell me, Mother,
what should I regret:
what I became? Or what I didn't.

I want to melt
into you like wild honey,
you feel like summer rain
—butterflies rising

MALINA WEISSMAN as ROSEMARY EYTON-WATTS

"I'll guard them with my life"

"my mothers trust issues are
leaking into my chest
and I've got my fathers nose and
his tendency to
stop calling back
so i'm sorry
about the 9 missed calls i have from you
and the 6 voicemails I never played
i swear i'd love you if i could."

oh, what love we find
when we aren't even looking

The best friends of our childhoods
are the loves of our lives,
and they break our hearts
in the worst ways
— Fredrik Backman

[PLAYLIST]

(("I'M BACK BETWEEN VILLAGES, AND EVERYTHING'S STILL"))

(("I'M A GLASS HALF-EMPTY KIND OF GIRL"))

(("SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I'M DROWNING AND YOU'RE THERE TO SAVE ME"))

(("WAIT FOR ME TO COME HOME"))

(("THEY ALL LED ME TO HIM"))

(("FIND THE ONE YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT"))

(("MOVIN' OUR FEET OVER THE PAINTED WHITE LINES"))

(("I AM BOUND BY LOVE TO YOUR HAZEL EYES"))

(("SOMETHING HAPPENS WHEN EVERYBODY FINDS OUT"))

(("ALL AT ONCE, EVERYTHING LOOKS DIFFERENT NOW THAT I SEE YOU"))

"I am old enough to
know pretty is a dressed
up way of saying prey"
— Stevie Edwards, from sadness workshop

give me the courage
to place myself
in front of someone
and hold nothing back.

give me the courage
to let myself be seen
and loved as i truly am.
_____________________
AVA

she loves the poetry
she cannot write
~ Oscar Wilde ~

HOW ODD IT IS,
TO BE HAUNTED BY
SOMEONE STILL
ALIVE