Have you ever wondered why bad things happen to good people and vice versa?

I know I have. It's something that has kept me up at night with the stars and moon, feverishly racking my brain to come to a solid conclusion. And time and time again, I come up sorely disappointed.

 I will never be able to fathom why life is so unfair to those who simply don't deserve it. Good people don't deserve to have their lives ripped apart at the seams.

Good things happen to good people. Bad things happen to bad people.

Which is why I've come to the only possible conclusion there is.

I am not a good person.

That was the constant thought running through my mind as I rinsed the conditioner out of my hair. I don't know how long I had been in the shower, nor did I care. I deserved the scalding heat of the water pounding on my back until it was red, raw, and numb. I deserved the unrelenting fear circling through my body like a predator about to indulge in his most exciting hunt and ultimate kill. The victim would be my sanity.

I didn't go to class today. After finding out about Greg's release last night I went through an array of emotions. At first, I was in shock. Rachel was talking to me, trying to get through to me desperately. After a moment or two, unfortunately the shock wore off and the panic attack set in.

I cried violently, hyperventilating so hard and so deeply that I eventually passed out, leaving Rachel a frantic mess as I laid on the floor, un-moving for what she claims was a century.

It had probably only been less than ten minutes.

Either way, in those ten minutes, she had managed to get a hold of both Ben and Mia, who were by my side within minutes of me waking up. Ever since then, I had been emotionally shut down. I was in a state of acceptance. Acceptance that this was all happening again and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Once I had determined that no amount of pressurized hot water was going to ease the tension that had built up in my muscles, I shut the water off, pulled back the shower curtain, and stepped out.

The notion of a towel was long lost in my mind. I actually appreciated the distraction of the water petals rolling down my chest, over my flat stomach, and down the length of my legs. A pleasant tickle accompanied the motion of the water down my body. The rug underneath my feet dampened with each passing second. The shower had steamed up the small bathroom so that all of the mirrors in the room were faded with steam and the air was palpable enough to choke on.

I reached my arm out to the mirror that was stationed in front of me. I ran my fingers across the warmed glass until a streaked figure appeared before me and if I wasn't so tightly wound emotionally, I think I would of gasped in shock.

I knew it was my face that I was staring at. The same chestnut hair hung over my shoulders in a wet mess. Every shape and angle of my facial features was the same. And yet there was an unmistakable difference.

My light brown eyes, that were usually so full of life, now reflected empty pits of indifference. There was no spark in the pair of eyes that stared back at me. Only hopelessness. And if you looked close enough, you could pick out the hint of overwhelming despair that clouded their depths.

I pulled myself away from the disapproving mirror and lulled back into my bedroom, throwing on a pair of sophie shorts and a cut off tee-shirt, I dropped myself back into the same position on my bed that I had been in since 3 am this morning.

I had tired sleeping but it had proven too difficult as the constant nightmares that racked my mind every time I slide into a deep enough sleep became too much to handle. I was exhausted, physically and emotionally.

My phone buzzed next to me for the 10th time that day. I hadn't bothered to answer any of the messages or calls that I had received. I knew that Nathan had probably texted me to find out why I wasn't in class but I couldn't deal with that now. I couldn't deal with him seeing me like this. So empty. So lost...

I must of lost track of time staring aimlessly into the corner of my bedroom. I assumed hours had passed since the natural light that was flooding into my bedroom was now lessening and the ominous dark had begun to set in.

A knock sounded at my door, pulling me from my spiraling thoughts for just a moment. I knew it was probably Rachel, attempting to shovel some food down my throat to which my stomach would reject and send it right back up. Eating wasn't worth the hassle.

"I'm not hungry." I called out to the person on the other side of the door. My voice was weak and monotone.

My bedroom door creaked open anyways as I assumed whoever it was walked into my room. My back was turned away from the door and I planned to keep it that way. It always made whoever was trying to talk to me leave faster if I refused to turn and look at them.

"Well good thing I didn't bring the Chinese that I was originally planning on eating with you," an all too familiar voice stated and my stoic heartbeat began to increase steadily with his presence.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, still facing away from the door.

"Well, you didn't come to class today," he said, his voice drawing closer to me. "I got worried. I thought, maybe I did something wrong but then Ben stayed after class..." ee trailed off, uncertainty clear in his voice.

"What did he tell you?" I asked as plainly as I could, stifling the desire to keep him as far away from this situation to the back of my mind for now. He was already in the thick of it, I just had to keep him from getting sucked in any further. This was my problem, not his.

"He didn't say much. He didn't have to either. He couldn't hide how worried he was for you, which in turn made me worry even more. I couldn't even focus on teaching today for the most part."

I felt my bed dip down as his weight countered mine on the bed. His presence next to me was undeniable. Even in the state that my body and mind were in, my body was greedily eating up all of the warmth that was radiating off of his body that was now brushing up against mine. My hearts pace steadily increased with every encounter of his skin on mine. Even on my worst of days, Nathan McCoy could still make my heart race.

"Alex, does this have anything to do with the notes you were talking about last night?"

My head tilted down in guilt and shame, hoping he wouldn't be able to see how broken I had become simply overnight. Praying that he couldn't see the twinge of pain on my face that came with his question. I wrapped my arms around myself subconsciously, trying to protect myself from the horrors that awaited me. Trying beyond desperately to keep it together long enough for him to leave.

His words, his presence, made me want to shatter into a million pieces and throw this indifferent facade that I had going on out the window.

I planned on ignoring his question for as long as I could until I felt his thumb and pointer finger grab gently onto my chin, bringing it up to meet his beautiful, pleading stare.

"Please don't shut me out," he said, his words stabbing through my barrier with the tenderness that came with his words.

Silently, I nodded my head.

"Do you know who is leaving you the notes?"

Another nod.

"Who?"

And there's the million dollar question, folks. How would he react when I told him it was Greg that we assumed had been leaving these notes? A part of me didn't even want to tell him for fear of how he would react. But what If I was wrong? What if he thought I was over reacting? What if I was? There's only one way to find out...

Regretfully, a single tear fell against my cheek as I spoke his name. "Greg."

A heard a sharp release of breath come from Nathan. His entire body tensed considerably.

"I-I don't understand. He's locked away-"

"They released him over two months ago." I forced my head back up, my hopeless stare finding his astonished one. "He's been out, walking around like nothing ever happened, for two whole months." I put a heavy weight and emphasis on the time frame, hoping that Nathan would understand where I was coming from.

"And they didn't tell you?" ee asked feverishly, scooting an inch closer to me on the bed. Our knees were now pressed up against each other's and oddly enough, the small movement gave me an ounce of support that I urgently needed right now.

I shook my head gloomily. "Someone fucked up, royally," I said through way of a humorless chuckle.

Nathan was quiet for a while, taking it all in. I wouldn't be surprised if he decided I was far too much drama to deal with. Too much baggage. Not worth it. And I would have to agree.

I gathered the courage to look his way and studied his frame. His eyes were lost in the distance, hounded by his thoughts. His professor look was still very much intact besides for his white button up shirt being un-tucked from his gray slacks. His thick eyebrows were creased in distress but still managed to frame his face perfectly. His short beard had been freshly trimmed, outlining his chiseled jaw with perfect masculinity.

He was beautiful and I was broken. Two adjectives that just don't blend.

With a heavy sigh and an outcry of protest from my heart, I spoke, knowing I was going to regret every word eventually. But for now, this is what was best; for him.

"You can leave if you want to." His eyes snapped back to mine and I instantly steered mine to the ground, not being able to look at his handsome face while I said this. "I understand that this isn't what you signed up for. You deserve someone who has a normal life and doesn't come with her own personalized stalker."

My heart constricted painfully as I went on.

"No guy would of lasted this long so you really shouldn't feel guilty. I really hope that you don't. That's the last thing that I would want, is for you to feel guilty about leaving. I'm sure there are hundreds of Co-eds waiting in line to have you glance their way too. I mean, look at you, you're gorgeous! You just don't need someone like me bringing you down. So I completely understand if you-"

My words were cut off by his lips, pressing firmly into mine. The shock of his movements propelled me back some on the bed. His lips worked at mine, asking for a response, for anything. It didn't take long for me to give into the kiss. His lips were addictive; the fire that they shot through my veins was more delicious than a seven layer cheesecake. If Nathan's kisses were a meal, I would be morbidly obese.

He glided us down onto the bed, my back pressing against the soft material of my comforter and his firm body rested over mine. I could feel every inch of his incredibly toned body pressing into me. I ran my hands up onto his back, memorizing every dip and every muscle.

His lips continued to pull at mine in a passionate and fiery manner. My mind was mush and my heart was beating erratically in my chest as I let him take control of this kiss that he was trying to put so much emotion behind.

What emotion though exactly? I wasn't sure.

Nathan broke our connection suddenly, staring down at me with determined eyes, breathing somewhat heavily.

"I don't ever want to hear you say that again. Got it?" His sapphire eyes pierced into mine, his unwavering words intertwining their way through my heart.

I nodded mindlessly, still dazed from his powerful kiss.

His face relaxed as the smallest of smiles tugged at his lips.

"Good. Because that was the stupidest," He planted a kiss on my cheek. "dumbest," Another kiss on my chin, "most ridiculous," A kiss on my neck, "thing you ever could of said."

My heart fluttered with every kiss that he trailed up and down my neck. From my chin, dropping slowly until he reach my collar bone. His hot breath fanned across my chest with each kiss and made it increasingly difficult to form any intelligible thought.

"It's not though," I tried to say with as much grit as I could muster and yet it somehow came out winded and sensual.

"It is. Nothing you could say could stop me from wanting to be with you, Alex. So stop trying," He said through his multitude of caresses with his lips on my body. But unfortunately, not even his lips could of stopped the explosion of emotions that was going on inside of me that was readying to break free. I could feel myself cracking with every touch of his lips, every intimate word he spoke, they all were to be my undoing.

"But I'm broken, Nathan!" I exclaimed exasperatingly, shoving myself up into a sitting position on the bed, effectively halting Nathans assault on my neck. I knew my eyes were wide with desperation and despair but I didn't bother to put up my barrier in front of him any longer. It was far too draining.

"I'm broken," I said in a weak, defeated voice that I barely recognized as my own.

Nathan's eyes clouded with and overwhelming amount of sadness that I knew was aimed towards me. His eyebrows creased downwards as he stared straight at me, or more so straight through me.

"You're not broken." His hand came up and cupped my cheek affectionately, his thumb brushing away the fallen tears that had begun to fall without my permission.

"You are the most amazing woman I have ever met. You are so strong, Alex. You have gone through so much in such a short period of time and you managed to come out on top. I'm not sure how but you have conquered every bit of shit that life has thrown at you. You are so caring, and loving," His thumb brushed across my lips, his deep blue eyes creased in truth and shining for me. "And you are so goddamn beautiful it hurts."

I leaned my head into his warm one that was caressing the side of my face tenderly. His words slicing their way through every bit of boundaries that I had and pierced my heart with their depth and meaning.

"You're not broken, Alex. You're simply fractured."

I managed an up-tilt of my lips at his odd but ultimately correct wording.

"And you will beat him. You managed to before and you will do it again."

I began to shake my head.

"He knows where I go to college. He followed me to my parents' house. He probably knows where I live, too. He's always one step ahead of me..."

"You're not alone this time, though. You have me. And I promise you," Nathans eyes circled with a determination and sincerity that I had never seen before. "I will never leave you."

And in that moment I knew. Nothing in the world was more certain to me that this fact. And the fact was: I was wildly close to falling deliriously in love with my professor.

Hey Guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Some very emotional stuff going on for Alex right now and you all better prepare for a shit storm that's brewing!

GUYS I seriously miss all of the comments that you all would leave me. They help me SO much and give me such motivation to keep writing for you all! Please comment what you think of the chapter so I know if I'm going in a right direction or not. I'm not too sure about this chapter and need to know what you guys think! I love all of you and thank you so so much for all of the support and love you have given this book so far. Please keep it up! Just because they kissed doesn't mean the action is over! Not even slightly ;) SO please comment and vote if you liked it/hated it/ tell me how you feel! Once again, Thank you guys for reading and I seriously look forward to what you all have to say! :) Until next time, guys!

Ps: sorry for the long authors note lol I just had stuff I wanted to say!