Hey guys I am back with today's topic. Well, talking about this is a bit difficult but as I am sharing everything  about my life here , I feel I should talk about this too.

Topic~My first love

So many of us are Yeh Un Dinon Ki Baat Hai fans here I assume so we all know how Naina's journey started with her first and forever love Sameer . I said forever because lucky are those whose 1st one is a lifetime one. Naina was the lucky one here but not me . I did face a heartbreak before giving myself a chance again .

So lets talk about the First love here.
All the moments of life, where we cherish the firsts are really very special and memorable and when its love , its even more precious . Though things ended on a bitter note but still the falling in love process is something that is felt by the heart and soul very internally.

It all started when I was in class 7th. Being a studious,  topper and very introvert person in those days, my life just revolved around my house , school , a few friends, studies , my teenage shows and newly found hobby of writing a diary. I was very serious about studies and liked to be in my own world.

"Nek Iraada aur padhai ka waada" correctly said by Naina, this was me but then I didnt knew that a new class , new journey would include a new member in my life , my first love.

I met him in our class, he was one of my classmates . Our seats were in a row and he used to sit behind me. One fine day , I was busy writing notes when accidentally he pushed my chair from behind because of which my page got spoiled and we started fighting. I pushed him back with even greater force and this continued for days. We fought over small things and our seat partners , also best friends just enjoyed the free show.

Slowly, the two friends , one mine and other his , we four became good friends and we had our own fun in a class of 40 students. I started liking him and I assumed he also used to like me. Our friends noticed that and then as per the famous pairing trend , our names got linked and we became a 'Ship' . People used to tease us and as we were friends , we just smiled , blushed , ignored and let go.

My feelings of liking became more serious slowly turning into love. I thought that these new buds of love were blooming in his heart also but later realised this wasnt the case.

In class 7th this ship trended and slowly the whole batch started teasing us. He started staying away from me and ignored any conversation while me being madly in love thought of ways to talk with him . I started writing diary about the everyday moments. I used to stare at him and he also reciprocated those mini stares at times. His blushing, his ignorance , everything made me realise that he too liked me but due to people's teasings he is staying away. Even I backed off as his thoughts were disturbing my focus on studies. I started studying harder and eventually we all passed with flying colours.

After being promoted in class 8th , our classes changed and I felt as if my first love would be incomplete now but fate had other plans. One fine day , a prank , a letter some common friends wrote from my side to him started some unnamed relation between us.

We became cordial , in talking terms. He knew I loved him and I thought he liked me. Things continued in the same way , smiles, blushes , eyelocks , teasings , small talks . His ignorance at times hurted me but still my poor heart defended his actions. I had started dreaming about my future with me . Being a teenage romance show fan , I loved Dil Mil Gaye and Miley Jab Hum Tum , which inspired me to dream about a happy life with him ahead .

A year passed , nothing changed , situations remained the same , feelings remained unsaid.

Class 9th was the year when my eyes opened to see the truth which my mind realised long back.

I was in love , deeply and madly but he wasnt , he said some really harsh words about me saying he doesnt like me , I was behind him and so on , to one of my friend which broke me completely. I was left heartbroken and this is how my first incomplete lovestory ended . It literally snatched away my innocence, my sweetness, my good thoughts , happiness for a long period of time. I was in depression in those days when I didnt even knew what the word actually means. I was in a sad zone , staying quiet and lost all the time. Sad songs in my playlist , socially distant with everyone and losing interest in every good thing became a part of this routine. I used to walk alone in my terrace and even used to watch his building which was visible from my place, it still is.

In 10th , I was more into studies, literally studying the whole day or night. I joined tutions for maths and science and then school , home , this was my new life after a heartbreak. I stopped visiting his class to meet my friend there , I stopped talking about him , I even stopped listening anything related to him. I realised that he used to stare at me but I never stared back again. The  doors of my heart were closed for him , forever.

I guess the doors were closed for love itself but then we never know what destiny has in stores for us. Someday, someone special will break those high walls you create around yourself , just to make you feel special and feel loved.

Love knocked on my heart again and after a lot of nos and buts and ifs , I finally said yes to the right one , my constant one.

And now when I look back , I see how everything that once looked wrong seems right to me. Life do give us second chances to fall in love , to succeed , to live , all we need to do is keep our doors and windows open and let the opportunities come in.

Some decisions do change our lives for something really good. I do have complaints from my first , I still search for reasons of him saying those words about me , I still feel that may be some parts of that story are still unclear but then it doesnt matter to me anymore . My mind will keep thinking but my heart knows what I have is the best and precious so I just move on again.

Talking about him right now, when he is not even a part of life was very difficult but then I do remember him as the one who taught me some good lessons of life and also he made me realise that letting him go was the best decision otherwise I wouldnt have met my forever ❤

~21st June 2020

If anyone has a similar story then feel free to talk about it , may be my experiences could help you out and you will be able to take the right decision.

So guys this was all for today , see you all tomorrow with the next topic.

Keep loving
keep supporting
lots of love
Ashi❤