It is expected that the kids would turn to their dad for almost anything including playtime and counselling instead of me. Oftentimes Siddique and/or his sister, Fatima would come home from school, asking for their dad and sulked into the corner whenever Nick hadn't returned from work. They said that I don't know my way around the toy robot project the way Nick does. But little did they know that I'm a master Gundam builder, I can even handle PG grade plastic models like a pro.

It's not that I am a terrible mom, it's just that kids would prefer Nick over me because he is better with children. Nevertheless, not everything they would resort to their dad. Despite being the better cook, Nick delegates the role of preparing food and meal for the kids to me. Other than that, I becomes their nurse when they get sick, I ensure the house to be organised spick and span, I'm their reference point on spirituality, fashion, current issues. And Fatima would seek for my advice on female-related matters especially involving menstruation and puberty.

Pretty much I handled serious matters while Nick had all the fun with the kids. Regardless, being a schoolteacher, Nick took the responsibility of their schoolwork while we both handled the responsibility of nurturing our children together.

Nick and I eloped in a simple solemnisation ceremony at Tok Ba's house in Ampang district of Kuala Lumpur (KL), Malaysia with less than 10 people, at the end of the year during the coronavirus pandemic which seriously impacted the global economy, infecting thousands of people, killing hundreds of lives. So, our honeymoon phase didn't turn out the way we wanted to be as we mostly stayed at home.

Nick's life after moving to KL was a 360° turn. He strikes off his lifestyle of rich and luxury and resumes into austerity and simplicity. After resigning at ShipGo, Nick became jobless for almost a year during our honeymoon phase and things were tough for him as a foreigner in this country. And it gets even worse when the government is looking at prioritising the local workforce.

Nevertheless, we were able to survive with hisprevious savings and funds from selling off his Mercedes-Benz SLR and hisapartment in Salford, which was enough to sustain us for approximately fiveyears or so.

Like any other strict parent, Tok Ba initially regarded Nick's intention to marry me with much skepticism, oftentimes he pressed him on sensitive issues including his family background, religion and whether we had slept together before. Nick, however shrug off the argument by telling him that "I just want to be a part of Zahida's life."

Tok Ba then gradually lowered his guard when he observed Nick's attentiveness and patience taking care of me after my first delivery to Fatima with a severe postpartum depression. With the help of Tok Ba and his recommendations, Nick was able to be offered jobs in universities and schools. His first job as a Research Assistant at a local university was on a two-year contract basis before he moved to another university with the same position for another year. Since then, he and my Tok Ba would have something in common to discuss especially during family gatherings which they both grew to become best friends.

Tok Ba suggested that he'd pursue academia, seeing his extensive grasp of knowledge from his experience as an RA and his academic qualification would allow him to go for PhD. But Nick refused as he had the intention to teach underprivileged children as his passion. He was later offered a teaching job at Rohingya Community School under TeachInMalaysia Foundation program but with a lower pay scale compared to his previous jobs. At that time, I was in my second year of employment with a local bank, working under the Company Secretary Department. The pay was good but it was hectic and I had another bitch as a boss, making it difficult for me to cope.

Our early years of career and marriage with Fatima during her infancy was a pure struggle that it almost shattered us. Nick's ego and mine rocked both of our marriage that pushed us to an edge of separation. However, Tok Ba's series of counselling sessions and Nick's patience and perseverance were the main reasons the bond stayed intact. Otherwise, we would have split up and Nick would have returned to Manchester – who knows he might resume to his old wretched self.

Our bond strengthens after Tok Ba's death a year later, knowing that I have no one else but Nick and my four-year-old Fatima. We moved to Tok Ba's house while renting out our former apartment in Bangi, Selangor (which neighbours KL state) that became our other source of income.

Nick resigned from the community school after his file of complaints involving one of his female students and a female colleague made a pass at him were not taken seriously by the management. This was baffling for both of us when his HR opined that sexual harassment cases are more commonly occurred among women and seldom otherwise, hence suggested to let this one go. He became more determined to quit after I outlined future possibilities of him being a victim of black magic by possessive women which freaked the shit out of him.

His fourth job at a private school was by far better than the rest. Not only because he gets better pay there, because the school was closer to Fatima's kindergarten and our home. So, he would pick up Fatima after work, allowing me to slay away the dreaded working hours that prolonged until after 8.00 pm.

Having Siddique during the second trimester was where we had a turning point of our career. I moved to a utility company with a better pay and less stressful working environment. Nick, on the other hand, was offered a substitute teacher position at an all-boys public school which later converted to a full-time teacher on a conditional contract basis due to his excellent work performance and his PR status.

Since then, our rocking marriage reaching plateau with some bumps and tolerance,allowing us for some breather to settle down. It took years for Nick to finally understood and succumb to Malaysia's culture including high regard for seniority and family values.