~Ishq se tabiyat ne zeest ka maza paaya,
Dard ki dawa payi, dard e be dawa paaya.~

Zahir knew he definitely ruined her mood to a great extent. But didn't want to admit the happiness he felt seeing those tears in Hamida's eyes for him. Would his absence bother her? Were they travelers of the same boat?

He came down from his room to sense silence in the hall with only some sounds of cluttering from the kitchen. Thinking of it being Nani, as it was Hamida's college time, he stopped at the threshold.

The scene looked blessed as the thin sunlight of July kissed Hamida's features. She was too engrossed in washing the dishes to notice him, so he had a chance to stare at her. Today she wore a green dress, her dupatta set on her head, glowing her olive skin some more.

"I'll kill you, Zahir. Stop staring at me."

A snicker left him as he came near her, fully amused by her glare, while she again got busy in her work.

"Where's nani?"

"There's some funeral in the area so she's there. What will you have for breakfast?"

"Anything you like. No college today?"

She shook her head, "Will head out in ten minutes."

That's a decent conversation. "Were you waiting for me to eat breakfast?"

Hamida rolled her eyes at him, and he laughed in response. That lady wouldn't ever keep him in delusion.

"Don't get your hopes too high. Nani told me to make your breakfast."

The whole scene felt soothing to his nerves. They, in a casual chat, Hamida not smiling at him but asking about breakfast. But in his imagination he always saw her giving one of the most beautiful smiles at him. That smile where you couldn't see it on her lips that much but in her eyes.

"A person has some decency about someone's time." Hamida mumbled, putting the frying pan on the stove. "I'm making an egg sandwich for you. Eat it without fuss."

Zahir came near her, his back resting on the kitchen island as he observed Hamida.

"I'll eat anything you give me, Hamida. Even poison."

A hiss sound escaped her, her cheeks colored in a faint pink shade.

"Good to know. I'll definitely bring one for you." Now she toasted the bread in the pan, "Learn some cooking, Zahir. It's not good being dependent on anyone."

"Who says I can't cook? How do you think I survived time outside my house?" Her eyes grazed his features for a moment. They were standing quite close, the faint whiff of her perfume hitting his nostrils, sandalwood,  "I can't spend money on outside food everyday."

"Can't imagine an idiot like you cook."

"Will show you someday." Hamida nodded and not seeing any signs of anger on her features, Zahir's heart became desparate, "Maybe in our future."

With a thud she put the sandwich plate in front of him, "I'm late because of you. What's the use of cooking skills when you can't make breakfasts?"

Zahir's laughter echoed in the kitchen as he saw her exiting. While he savored the taste of the sandwich, the shrill sunlight touched his content features.

***

Raaya had no idea how to kill time. Her mind felt like too many thoughts were jumbled up together. The one thing that started all of it was Idris' absence. As if he stayed with her 24/7.

This morning he left for Delhi and since then she couldn't concentrate on anything let alone sleep. Their meeting just before his departure was formal like every moment of theirs. He nodded at her with that small smile. That smile that looked too breathtaking on him.

He reached Delhi after two hours, as he was messaging her about everything. When he got to his room, got ready and went into the meeting. After that there was no message. Raaya didn't reply to any message, she wanted to show him she was not missing him.

Failing miserably.

She picked up her needle and hoop. Maybe her work could help. Why was it so hard to not think about him? It was half past twelve when her phone rang with his video call.

Raaya quickly ran towards the dresser mirror. She looked fine in her purple nightgown, it was decent and modest though she never wore it in front of Idris.

"AsSalamuAlaikum."

She greeted, trying hard to avoid the chirp that seeped in her voice seeing his name.

"WalaikumAsSalam."

In his black vest and resting his head on his palm, looking at her with a dazed smile, he looked an epitome of handsomeness. She surely missed many heartbeats.

"You surely had a busy day, Raaya. No reply to my messages."

Her whole day went in missing him. "Yes. I wanted to finish the orders by tonight but it didn't happen." She played with tassels in her gown, "Are you okay? Had your dinner?"

"Yes." She felt his gaze stuck on her, "Purple suits you, Raaya."

He laughed at her lack of response, shifting his phone in front of him, as he lied on his back. "Say something."

"You always leave me speechless." She found her lost courage, maybe because they weren't face to face.

"I'm just honest with you, unlike you."

"What did I do?"

Raaya smiled, lying on her side, making sure her open hair was covering her front.

"Not accepting that you were missing me. I can literally feel your happiness as you greeted me, Raaya."

"You imagine a lot, Mr. Idris."

He chuckled and after a long time Raaya felt light, her being that was surrounded by awkwardness vanished as they conversed as nothing happened between them. Maybe that distance was necessary for their relationship, to mend their ways, to make them realize what they meant for each other, especially for Raaya Sultan.

***

Hamida bit her upper lip, eyeing that boiled milk and those two cups. Should she or shouldn't? She had an idea it was Zahir's study time. She made coffee and that too little extra. Now she wanted to give one to him, but her ego was not allowing her.

Because that good for nothing idiot would smile at her. That damn smile which would burn her soul and would force her to scratch his face with her bare hands.

The sky again filled with ash gray clouds as the surroundings began filling with distant petrichor. Huffing, she poured the milk in two coffee powder filled cups and made way to his room. As she knocked, Hamida could sense, he was on a call with someone.

"Yes, ma. Everyone is good here. Nothing to worry about."

Looking at her, Zahir gave a bright smile and gestured to her to take a seat. Bitterness covered the taste in her mouth on the mention of his mother. How could she forget them? Zahir's actions were blurring her past but they would not erase it.

She kept the coffee on his study table, the cup making a thud even when she didn't intend to.

"My, my. Is today my lucky day?" Zahir said, putting the phone in his pocket, "Hamida Sultan bringing me coffee."

"Made some extra."

She would have left his room if he didn't stop in front of her, becoming a hurdle. His 6 feet height forced him to bend a little to look into her eyes.

"What happened? You okay?"

"What will happen to me? Leave my way."

The dryness seeped in her speech. Why was she getting affected by that mere phone call? It was his mother, he would talk with her, why was she getting triggered?

"Well if this coffee is your favor, I can make a good breakfast for you in return, someday."

Zahir took a sip from his coffee, his eyes holding mischief, unknown of every turmoil that ran inside her.

"I don't want anything from you."

With that she was out and closed herself in her room. Tears became her companion sensing the loneliness around her.

"I know why he did that thing. What man will tolerate his wife's disloyalty?"

Her mother was on her deathbed, doctors gave up and were waiting for her mother to do so. She and Raaya were beside her, praying that she would just come back to them, when she heard her aunt, her father's only sister.

"My mother didn't do anything wrong. Stop hiding your brother's deeds."

Hamida was out of the room and everyone standing in the passage fell silent hearing her voice.

"Your brother, unfortunately my father, is a drunkard. We were just a burden on him so he killed my mother and now…" her breath came in pants with tears streaming down her cheeks, "He will make sure to kill us."

She didn't pay heed that they were in the hospital. People were giving them looks. Their family from her father's side watched her silently, while her aunt threw taunts at Nani for giving her too much freedom.

A light knock on the door broke her thoughts as she got up, her mind still muddled in the past. Everyone knew everything about her father. How lost he was! How pure her mother was! But what they all did. They remained silent. Zahir's parents included. They came to her as sensible humans but they listened to whatever crap her aunt fed everyone without bothering to correct.

"You're upset with me, Hamida?"

Zahir came inside just as she opened the door. His features filled with concern as his eyes sought answers to so many unasked questions.

"Tell me one time when I'm happy with you?"

"Being happy and not showing it, is different than being upset." He slowly tilted her chin up, "Tell me."

Hamida shook her head and went to her cupboard, her attempts to avoid him but he was still at her back.

"I love you, Hamida."

The clouds grumbled and Hamida felt her ears getting deaf to everything, but it was not the clouds that did it, it was her heartbeats.

***

My God! That buzz, he could feel in his body was unexplainable. Was that for everyone or did everybody feel that when meeting their better half after two days?

His flight was about to land and he would be in front of Raaya in half an hour. Would she show her happiness openly or he had to guess it again through her voice, smile and small actions? Just like on that video call the other day.

The other night her smiling face etched itself in his mind and it was so difficult for Idris to pass the whole night without her. Nobody knew and he didn't want anyone to know but in the darkest hours of night, he would come near his bed and look at her face for some time.

That sparkling nose ring, her slightly parted lips as she went into deep sleep put his mind into terrible havoc but he enjoyed it, as if he was getting addicted to her.

He only knew how he was controlling himself around her. Idris never wanted to force her into anything and once he had slipped, didn't want to repeat it and lose Raaya again.

Was it lust that he felt? Or was it something else? Something profound. Because lust doesn't want to put another person's feelings and emotions in front of you.

His brown leather watch showed quarter before 9 when his car entered Usman mansion. His parents were on the breakfast table when he entered his house. Raaya was nowhere to be seen as he sat down to share details about the meeting to Papa.

"Let it be. I'll hear it afterwards." Papa dismissed, his voice filled with concern,"Go, meet Raaya. She has had a fever since morning."

"Fever?" 

His voice dropped, heart thudding in his rib cage.

"Yes she came to help me in the kitchen today, I sent her to rest. She's sleeping now I think, I went to check up on her. Check if she needs to visit a doctor."

The room was dark unlike the bright sunshine outside, he turned on the fluorescent bulb to see a curled up figure on the bed. His insides shook at their place as he made his way towards her.

"Raaya, you okay?"

Idris slightly moved the duvet from above her, only to notice that she was crying, his room getting filled with her sobs.

As Idris took his seat beside her, Raaya turned and shook her head, all the while covering her face with her palms.

"Raaya, you're worrying me. What happened, tell me?"

She was alright when they talked last night. So what happened so suddenly? Did someone tell her something, hurt her in some way?

She sat up, her face glistening with tears as she rubbed her nose, making it more red. At that moment, Idris fisted his hands to keep a grip on himself, proving himself a patient man.

"I…" Raaya's voice cracked while Idris got pulled in her blue eyes, "I miss my mother a lot, whenever I have fever."

Idris' eyes traced her features, how could a man leave her to be on her own, even after knowing her? She was the purest soul he had ever witnessed and no matter how opposed he was of this relationship from the start but not for a moment he regretted knowing Raaya Sultan.

"How can I help? If I may…" With hesitance he moved a little closer, opening his arms to signal her, "or you may use my embrace."

Her open hair framed her face and if Idris had some kind of button he would have muted his brain for giving the worst ideas regarding his wife. Few of his breath got lost in the air as Raaya moved in his embrace, hiding her face. And now he had no idea what to do. 

Where to keep these hands?

"What did your mother do at this time?" He slowly started patting her head while keeping the other hand firm on the bed.

"Just stayed with me. Sometimes she would make that awful pea soup. It used to be awful but now I miss it so much."

 "I can make pea soup. I can guarantee you, it will be awful."

Raaya's giggle filled his room as their gaze met with each other, their heartbeats went into sync and Idris never got anything more difficult than this. Maybe he could just make some excuse and run away from her before-

"You can sit here."

Raaya slid away a little, opening the duvet for him to sit. Hesitance gathered around his heart but the eagerness won. The warmth from her body caressed him as their arms touched and pursed his lips to control his running heartbeats and mind.

"Is it too high?" Idris said before touching her forehead to check fever and his palm burned, "We should go to the doctor or if you're tired we can just call him."

Raaya shook her head, her eyes drowsy as she watched him silently. Her gaze seemed full of questions and he was ready to answer each one of them but his trance broke while his insides did weird somersaults when she rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes.

Idris knew Raaya was at rest after sending his whole being into turmoil and a tornado of indecipherable emotions.