~Bahot masroof sahi wo din bhar phir bhi,
Tanhayi ke kuch pal mere liye barbad to karta hoga.~

"The restaurant was so beautiful."

Uncle and aunt smiled at each other and then looked at both of them. When they returned from their outing, Raaya found them sitting in the living room so she decided to spend some time with them.

The reason was to share the beauty of this evening with them and also to kill time because her heart shuddered everytime thinking of being alone with Idris. It was not the closeness but the fear of distance. She was disturbed and he knew that she was! She didn't want to share it with him, not right now.

"Once Idris took us there, you remember Idris?"

He nodded, "After I completed one year at my job."

"C'mon. Rest you two. We'll talk tomorrow." Uncle said and Raaya stood with hesitancy, stalling to find an excuse. "Raaya, do tell me what you like in food, we'll cook it for Sunday brunch."

She nodded, her insides came at rest on his friendly tone and getting his fatherly affection. Now she couldn't stay in the living room too else she would get more emotional and cry in front of them. Not a good thing!

"Is something wrong, Raaya?"

As the door clicked in place, Idris asked as Raaya turned to give him a small smile, "Not at all."

Idris smiled walking closer to her, his arms slowly wounding themselves around her as he touched their foreheads, "These tears aren't a sign of everything fine."

"Your parents are amazing, Idris…" she hid herself in his embrace, "I never knew what it feels to be in a family with a mother and father together. Allah has given me so much all of a sudden."

Idris tightened his hold, slowly caressing her hair, "It's all about your destiny, Raaya."

"Allah won't snatch it from me?"

She couldn't stop the fears that resurfaced in her speech as Idris cupped her face, his eyes trying to find some kind of reason for this.

"No. Never." He brought his lips close to her forehead, pressing a gentle kiss as he hovered there for a moment, "What's bothering you?"

Raaya shook her head, resting it on his chest. She had no idea how much trust they had built in their relationship to share the thing that was bothering her. She didn't want to lose this precious relationship with Idris Usman and his family.

***

Zahir bit his lower lip, eyeing her contact name, his heart adamant to just talk to her while his mind consoling him to be practical.

He had just completed the final formalities of his admission, of the first year. And he wanted to share this news with Hamida. It was a bad idea because not talking to her for the whole month hadn't helped him with anything. He was missing her like hell.

So he tapped the call button.

His call directly went into the pile of calls that she always ignored and Zahir, with a mix of hurt and relief put the phone in his pocket. The residence of the gray clouds was slowly turning bluish with every passing day to welcome the wintery air around.

Putting on his dark sunglasses, he closed the small gate of the other exit of his college when his phone began to ring showing Hamida's picture on his screen. His heart beat too many times and he forgot to breathe. He lived too many times at once and died altogether seeing her name.

Blowing a mouthful of air, Zahir tapped the answer button praying that this girl wouldn't change her mind. The first thing he heard was a sigh, a breath you take when you prepare yourself for something big, scary.

"What happened, Zahir?"

Her soft voice held a sign of worry that pushed a smile on his lips, it felt he smiled after ages.

"Can't I call you whenever I want?"

"This 'whenever' is coming after a month?"

The corners of his mouth turned up hearing the precision, "Somebody was counting days…"

"Shut up, you idiot." There was a shuffle at the other end as he leaned on his bike, seeing his reflection that looked refreshed after a long time, "Why did you call?"

"I got admission in the first year."

She hummed, "Network Engineering?" In the distance he could hear the hustle of her flower shop and Zahir smiled imagining her in between those flowers. Also his gut flipped that she remembered his choices, what he wanted to do with his life.

"Yes."

"That's good, Zahir. I know this course will suit you." Her voice held an edge of genuine happiness but it was enough for him. "You called Nani to tell this?"

"You're the first person… I called."

The line went silent and he felt maybe she cut off the call but Hamida was still there, "Anything else?"

"I miss you."

He never wanted to burden her with his feelings but he couldn't stop this confession that rolled out on his tongue. Those three words were not enough to summarize the feelings he treasured for her.

"Talk to you later, Zahir, I'm busy."

He nodded, keeping the phone back in his jeans pocket. Leaning back, he stared at the blue sky that peeked from the thick shade of Gulmohar tree, his mind still stuck on Hamida Sultan.

***

"I know he will be successful in that field too."

Hamida silently poured a spoonful of dal in her bowl, chastising her heart to beat properly and not to jump on every mention of Zahir. As she took her first bite, her phone pinged showing Zahir's name.

Now what did he want? He already caused enough damage to her brain cells because now she couldn't focus on anything and just went back to their phone call of what…five minutes. She was imagining him, in all his glory, sitting beside her or standing at whatever corner he liked to stare at her. And hating it!

Because he was not real. Those imaginations made him hazy and she couldn't properly pin point enough details about him.

"Eat properly, Hamida."

"I'm not that hungry." She slid the plate away and got up from dastarkhwan. Her mind and heart were singing in sync as they knew what was coming next. Hamida closed her room's door and faced her phone to open Zahir's text that had turned from one to three.

Zahir: I hope you're eating well. 🥰
Zahir: Wat r u doing?
Zahir: Ummm…is Hamida busy? 🤔

She scrunched up her nose not really understanding why he messaged her and what he wanted to do by sending some random garbage.

Sitting on her bed, she weighed down her options. She didn't want to reply to him because that would make everything more complicated, especially for her but also she couldn't crush that teeny tiny wish of her heart. Maybe he needed some help. Maybe.

Hamida: Are you drunk?

As if he was waiting for her response, her phone quickly beeped.

Zahir: God forbid 😳 Hamida. That's how u think abt me?

Hamida: You know what I think about you, that's the lowest of them.

Zahir: I'm missing ur bitter words. My life needs poison of ur words 😩

Hamida pursed her lips, her jaw ticking to loosen up a smile. But she wouldn't. He was always talking trash and didn't know why her heart was enjoying it, now.

Hamida: Masochist

Zahir: Here's my Literature grad 😍

His texting and chatting style was like his talk in real life. Fancy, mischievous, charming and seeing his use of emojis was surely putting Hamida to think of his age. Young and thriving.

Hamida: Why are you texting me? All of a sudden?

Zahir: Can't help it. Dat phone call opened this gate 4 me.

Hamida: How many minutes have you saved typing those short versions?
Hamida: Go to sleep. I'm sleeping.

She kept the phone in her hand for some moment, seeing as his chat box showed typing but then it stopped and reappeared again. Hamida threw the phone on bed, not liking how desperate she was for his reply.

After what felt like an entire age passed as she came from the washroom and turned off the lights, her phone beeped.

Zahir: Adhoore chand se faryad to karta hoga, wo mujhe zyada nahi par yaad to karta hoga.

Bahot masroof sahi wo din bhar phir bhi, tanhayi ke kuch pal mere liye barbad to karta hoga.

***

He didn't bother to remove his shoes and lied down on his bed, the air conditioner of his room somewhat soothing his tired senses. Idris pinch closed his eyes, the long eight work hours were getting unbearable day-by-day. They had to export three shipments this week and those formalities were enough to kill anybody.

He gave a half smile as soft fingers ran in his hair as he got surrounded by the serene fragrance of jasmine. The bed dipped a little as she took her seat beside him and he opened his eyes to see her watching him with concern.

There was something that was bothering her but she did well to hide her worry and to cover it with saying nothing. But at moments, Idris had noticed her lost gaze, chipping her nails and deep frowns.

"A tiring day at work?"

He nodded, "I have seen better days."

Her hand that was moving in his hair was now resting on his chest as she moved closer to place a kiss on his forehead. This simple gesture shifted his heartbeat to a different rhythm. So he snaked his arm around her waist, stopping her from moving away.

"What's this?" Her voice came shaky as she looked at him with a shy smile, "I'm going to fix a head massage for you. You'll feel better."

"Only you can fix me, Raaya. You make me feel better."

Her eyes gleamed with his words as Idris grazed his nose to hers. He had been busy for two weeks and he knew how much he had to ignore his wife in all of this but she didn't complain. Every evening she would meet him with this same warm smile and he knew he was terribly falling, in some indescribable, weird kind of feeling.

She wound her arms around his neck, they could feel each other's breath, "I read somewhere, two minutes of hugging a day is a good thing for health."

His mouth twitched, "Is this your excuse to hug me?"

"Do I need an excuse to hug you?"

She quipped, eyes shining bright and Idris couldn't help but laugh at her answer. Something was changing in Raaya and in their relationship. The heavy curtains of awkwardness, tension were tearing down and their marriage was slowly getting out of its cocoon, to breath free. And this comfort he could feel in his heart and could see in Raaya.

"Well…" She pulled back as he straightened up to sit in front of her, and opened his arms, "I want these two minutes. Actually need it badly."

Raaya giggled and moved forward as he closed his embrace. Her hands tightened on his back as he did the same, gently kissing the skin where shoulder meets neck. Their hearts beat in sync and his breath gradually became calm.

She rested her cheek on his shoulder, as he kissed her hair. He couldn't help it, couldn't understand how he was controlling himself until now. Never considered himself as a kisser or clingy. But whenever Idris would be around Raaya, his body got attracted to hers like a moth to flame.

"What bothers you, Raaya?"

She half-shrugged in their hug after a beat as if understanding what had been asked.

"Nothing much. Just don't want to lose you."

Idris smiled, moving a hand in her long waves. Becoming important in someone's life was the most underrated acknowledgement.

"You won't and what caused this fear?"

Raaya broke the hug, confronting him, her eyes moving on his face as if making sure of something. Her hands bunched the shirt on his shoulders as she nipped her lips.

"I'm getting messages from Kashif."

Was it an explosion or something heavy dropped somewhere? He couldn't hear properly, everything became more than silent as he stared at Raaya in disbelief.

Now what did that good for nothing wanted?