WEEK 61

Prompt:

"We were alone. And so it began."

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Elain turned the switch up and down to turn on the lights, but it didn't work.

"Elain..." a soft voice whispered in the midst of the cold dark room, two stories deep beneath the ground.

"Derek, is that you?"

"Elaine..." the voice whispered again.

"Okay Derek, this isn't funny anymore. Come out or I'll kick you where the sun don't shine!"

Then baked potatoes started attacking. Derek and Elain began to screech in fear; but Derek screamed like a girl, so Elaine knew it was really just Sarah.

Sarah was cool, so she snapped her fingers like Thanos and all the baked potatoes turned to dust. Derek and Elain clapped in awe and asked for her to teach them her ways.

"Come with me, and I shall teach you great and powerful things which thou knowest not," Sarah stated, reaching out her hand towards the two humans.

Elain scratched her head. "But uh, can we first get some light in this room?"

"No."

"But we can't really see anythi—"

"Thats what makes it even more exciting," Sarah whispered in his ear before darkness consumed their entire vision.

Derek began to freak out, because he was scared of the dark. Good thing it was all over soon enough. The lights came on right before Derek exploded because of the darkness, his mortal enemy.

Fortunately, Sarah saved her precious student and teleported them to The Sanctuary. A meteor hit The Sanctuary. But Sarah saw it coming and teleported her students away again. :))

"Wh-where are we?" Elaine asked, looking down at the seemingly bottomless cliff near a small wooden house on top of the mountains.

Sarah scoffed. "Hell simulator, duh."

Elaine hesitated.

"Don't be scared, Elaine, for this is all part of your training."

"I've always skipped training classes though!"

"Well, you aren't going to skip them now. I will make sure of that."

Elaine poked her tongue out and jumped to her death. Sarah jumped down after her and caught her before teleporting back.

"Dang it!" Eliane shouted, frustrated that Sarah ruined her plans of dying and reincarnating as a powerful baked potato. Elaine was fine with it in the end, though, since she knew other ways of getting what she wanted.

Derek, however, seemed to have the same idea regarding being a baked potato.

"Derek, please help me escape from this hell!" Elaine pleaded, clinging onto the tall, dark man.

"Why would I help you though? I wanna be just as cool as Sarah!"

"But this is hell!"

"If you want to leave you can leave, but I'm staying."

Elain sighed. "I don't want to leave you, so fine; I'll stay too."

"Let's begin with the first lesson, shall we?" Sarah asked.

Elain gulped. "This better be NOT crazy..."

Sarah shot her with a pistol. Elain was so surprised she dropped her sandwich. The earth ate the sandwich. But then the earth felt sick, because the sandwich was from KFC.

The sandwich became depressed. Elian offered the sandwich therapy. The sandwich declined and laid on the ground sobbing.

"Well done. You successfully completed the first task: making the sandwich cry," Sarah said.

Said sandwich then stood up and walked away, indifferent, like it hadn't just been sobbing its eyes out.

"Let's start with the next task." Sarah turned the gun around and tossed it at Elain. She scrambled to get it, ignoring the pain of her wound. Elain picked up the gun and looked up to Sarah with a questioning look. Then she shot Sarah.

Sarah caught the bullet and ate it. It exploded in her throat, causing her death. Derek pulled out his phone and took a picture. He then proceeded to film everything for his youtube channel because he wanted to share something problematic to get clout.

Elain smacked the phone out of his hand onto the ground, where it hit the sandwich from before. The earth ate the phone. Then the earth ate the sandwich. Then the earth ate everyone and everything. Then the earth tried to eat itself. It failed.

Then Boomer the dragon ate the Earth. And then the sun exploded. A black hole swallowed the Milky Way whole. It then became a Snickers. The Snickers was doing cartwheels around the sun, when suddenly a Mars bar came in front of it. Both were eaten by a Reese's Cup that exploded into a Bounty bar. The chocolate cake swallowed the Bounty bar. The cake melted. The bounty bar was free again and planned on ruling the multiverse.

Then, Thanos gave the bounty bar a death stare from the heavens before snapping his fingers. Everything was gone in the blink of an eye, including himself—never to be seen again

Meanwhile, in Hell, where Sarah went when she died, the Devil proposed to Sarah for the third time and she finally said yes. Derek, who had died by being swallowed, was being yelled at by Satan's hand maidens, who wanted him to take a bath. Among those maidens was Elain in disguise. She quietly slipped him a note amid the fuss, making sure Derek knew it was her. Derek opened the note when the maidens looked away and read: "Eat your vegetables."

He stared at the note, confused, until he realized what it really meant — he'll have a chance to escape this Hell with Elaine if they take a bite of the Forbidden Broccoli. It was in the closet of the demon king, Sarah's father. So Derek began his conquest for the Broccoli.

But, not long after, he found the sharp edge of a knife pointed at his neck as he started towards the door.

"I knew you'd come after it," a familiar voice whispered. Sarah smiled behind him before murmuring, "We're being watched, get me out of here."

"You and Elain are in this together?"

"No, I'm in this with Satan, the guy that wants to marry me, use me, and send me back down to the Hell I came from—of course I'm with Elain."

And then Satan farted right in front of Derek and Sarah's faces. They both plugged their noses and groaned, but the scent killed them. Well, it almost killed them. In truth, they were simply playing dead.

"What a shame," Satan said.

"Don't worry, I got this!" Death came and snapped his fingers, killing everyone. Except Derek, Elain, and Sarah didn't die. Death sighed. "Jeez, guess we gotta torture them to death then."

Than a bee stung death and, because death is allergic to bees, he died. Is what they thought, but Death was a spirit and spirits don't have allergies. But the sting still had an effect — him falling in love with Sarah.

"OMG get away from me!" Sarah yelled when Death tried to hug her.

"You heard the lady," Satan growled, having risen from the dead. His eyes burned with fury as his fingers closed around Death's neck.

Derek went close to Elain and whispered, "This is becoming more like a love triangle than an escape mission...."

Elain offered Derek some of her popcorn.

"Thanks, lov—I mean... Elaine..."

"EVAPORATE, TALL PERSON!" was yelled somewhere in the background, probably Sarah to Death. Derek shrugged it off and stuffed his face with popcorn.

"HEY YOU NEED TO SHARE THE POPCORN, NOT EAT IT AL ON YOUR OWN!" Elain yelled, because Derek had eaten half of the popcorn.

"Ehem." Derek kissed Elain and gave her some popcorn. "We good now?" he asked, softly pulling away.

"I... I uh..." Elain focused her eyes on Death and Satan fighting over Sarah, trying her best to ignore Derek's stares.

"Now, now, why are you ignoring me, cutie?"

"There's a better scene to watch in front of me, and um what did you just call me?"

"You sure about that, cutie?" Derek asked and grabbed her by the chin, gently tilting it to the side so she'd face him.

"D-derek, what's gotten into you..?" Elain averted her gaze to the ground, her cheeks heating up.

The man chuckled and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. Derek swore smoke puffed out on top of Elain's head after he just did that. "E-elaine, are you alright?!"

Elainne swallowed, each one of Derek's silver glances killing her softly. Derek's charcoal eyes were booming with worry. Elain would've stopped functioning if it was for Sarah's scolding of the two guys kneeling before her.

"Guys, can we please stop this?"

"DEATH, STOP BEING EMO—SARAH IS MINE!" screamed Satan in Death's direction.

"According to what I remember from earlier, Sarah is trying to get away from you." Death replied confidently. He stood in front of Sarah with his fists clenched. "Sarah... I..."

Sarah turned towards Death and scratched her head. "Look, I just want to be out of here. So whatever you're going to say, I'll listen once I get out of here."

"Marry me," he said with a high owo voice.

By this time, Satan had caught up to them. Embers raged in his eyes and he burped loudly. Both Sarah and death got blown away from the impact. Good thing Elaine caught Sarah while Derek caught Death.

"SATAN, WHAT WAS THAT?!" Sarah yelled at Satan before pushing herself out of Elains arms, brushing herself clean, and flipping Satan off before sashay-ing away.

"Eww satan. Did you have pig poop for breakfast or something?" Derek exclaimed, pinching his nose.

Satan pursed his lips and tapped his pointer fingers against each other while mumbling nonsense in a high, embarrassed, voice. "Hawww you were spying on me?" Satan said, indignantly.

"Bro, you stink..."

"Ouch—why are y'all so mean!"

"Not more than you!" Satan replied cheerfully.

Elaine pulled Derek slightly closer to get a whiff of his scent. "Actually, he smells quite nice—"

Derek finally gave up on any embarrassment he would have had, said screw it in his mind, and kissed her. Sarah froze in her spot, heat creeping up to her neck as both her cheeks and ears were tainted with a pinkish hue. "W-w-what are my students doing right in front of me—"

"They're making out." replied Death crisply, looking at his void coloured nails.

"And to think," murmured Satan, "this world used to be overrun by baked potatoes, and these three were the last alive. Kids these days."

Sarah pulled the two apart. "Continue that later, I want to get out of this place first!"

One of the handmaidens watched as they ran away. The trio were never more happy to be good at running. They saw an opening about 10 meters away and made a run for it. But they never seemed to reach it, for it kept moving far away. Sarah launched into a full sprint, making the other two match her speed as her fingers finally grazed the doorframe.

A strong gust of wind sent Sarah's body upwards as she held onto the doorframe with all her might. Elain's fingers slipped through Sarah's as she was thrown back, slamming into a wall that wasn't there before. Good thing the wall was a wall of fluff. Sarah dazedly asked Elaine if the wall was made of bubblewrap.

"No it's actually a gigantic cat. Of course it's made of bubblewrap; all walls are made of bubblewrap, dumbdumb!" Elain raked her nails across the wall as further proof, and it went along with a loud snap crakle poppoppop.

"Sarah, come back!"

Sarah enjoyed popping the walls so much that she decided that maybe this was her fate—to pop bubblewrap. The bubblewrap screamed in terror as the air popped out of it. The directors of the book-to-movie adaptation screamed in horror as the bubblewrap screamed in horror.

"Buckle up Derek, we're going to switch dimensions now."

And the two left the crumbling world caused by Sarah's developed addiction of popping bubblewrap. Derek and Sarah scrambled to the portal that connected their world to the movie world. The director of the movie passed out as 2 teenagers jumped through an ominous portal into his studio.

"Finally, we escaped!" Elaine exclaimed.

"Okay, cut! Cut!" The substitute director barged in. "Can we please have some order here? I haven't received my paycheck in three years! We need this blockbuster! This has to happen!"

"Elaine, you're alright!"

"Of course I am! Now where are we, anyway?" Elaine asked.

"I think... I-I think we're in another dimension," Derek replied as his chocolate eyes scanned the director's office.

"I know we're in a different dimension—but what kind of world is this...?" Elaine poked the spotlights and cameras. The camera screamed and ran away.

The substitute director yelled, "Stop being dramatic and get back in here, Jella!"

"Wh-what in the..." Derek trailed off as the peculiar scene unfolded right before his eyes. The studio lights imploded on themselves. "Okay, hi, hi." Derek approached the substitute director. "Look, something is seriously wrong. How do we get back to our world? And why are there so many cameras here?"

The director gave Derek a confused look. "Sir, this is a film site."

"Whazzat?"

"I know it's very hard to understand, but this is a film site" the director said, "and you're trespassing. So you either leave peacefully, or security can escort you out."

"Hey, Derek, I think we should leave—"

Derek had already poofed. Then Elain, too.

"Well, that's over with," sighed the director.

"Someone please save me from here," Sarah sighed as she did a facepalm.

And Editor Dreams imploded the story, since it was already over 2k words long. The end.