Prompt:

"I promised… " He gasped for breath. "That I would protect you. And I intend to keep the damn promise."

…….

Polly shook her head and said, “But I’m sure you won’t be able to.”

Gerald's eyes widened in frustration as he whipped out a full suit of armour for her saying, "I said, I would, PROTECT YOU."

"Just because I have a king after my head doesn't mean you have to baby me," Polly protested, shoving the armor away.

Gerald gritted his teeth in frustration as he leaned closer to her, "It's a promise I made and a promise I will keep; I'm the only one who can save your ignorant behind if one of those fools in the back decide to turn you in."

"They wouldn't dare," Polly said, turning around to examine the sailors scurrying across the deck.

Gerald didn't seem convinced as he once again thrust the heavy suit of armor towards her, "I don't care if you think you've got this all figured out, just wear the damn armor before this ship reaches the dock."

"Ugh, it's not even my size," Polly complained as she pushed the armor back once more.

Then her eyes narrowed and she reached down to finger the shiny object that was tied around her waist, a small smile playing on her lips as she whispered softly to herself: "And besides, why play the helpless princess when I could be the queen?"

"You know we can't risk that," Gerald hissed, grasping her wrist.

An adorable, fluffy beast that had the snout and ears of a rabbit, and the body of a miniature poodle paddled into the room, observing the interaction with innocent curiosity.

Polly gritted her teeth so much so they fell onto the ground and from those, rose Sarah but Tooth Demon.

Polly put the kettle on, preparing tea for Sarah but Tooth Demon.

While preparing, the tea kettle burst, spilling scalding tea all over Polly and Sarah but Tooth Demon and giving them third degree burns.

(The three-degree burns were actually given to remind the author who had completely forgotten about Polly-becoming-the-queen plot point.)

Furious, Gerald whipped out his high-quality robust mahogany beating stick and began to whack the scattered remains of the kettle.

Kettle but Rachel intoned, “You will require more than that to break me!” and flung itself toward Gerald but whacker.

Gerald but whacker continued furiously whacking Kettle while Polly watched and wondered why Gerald was acting like he actually knew how to fight.

His late night binge watching sessions of Fist of the North Star had finally bore fruit.

The fruit so borne was Sarah but gremlin.

Sarah but gremlin bit Gerald's ankle hard, causing him to cry out in pain making Polly smirk since it proved that the armor he was wearing was, as she had suspected, useless.

Sarah but gremlin tore off her face to reveal Rachel but tooth monster and Sarah but Tooth monster and Rachel but tooth monster attacked Polly and Gerald and poisoned them into sleeping for eternity.

Sarah but Tooth Fairy flew over and waved her magic wand in an attempt to dispel the poison.

It worked, and Polly woke up to realize that everything that had happened before was just a dream and she was actually one of the royal servants to the king and queen.

"Dammit," Polly muttered, before falling out of the top bunk she was sleeping in.

She leaned against the wall to steady herself when suddenly something small and shiny fell out of her pocket and onto the floor—it was a tiara.

From the tiara grew the Gerald but Tiara from her dreams.

Behind the stage, Rachel shook her head, cursing the authors for their neglect toward her, and for making Sarah the main character yet again.

Rachel had long been perfecting her plan to get rid of the immortal Sarah once and for all.

But Perfecting turned out to be one of Sarah's allies.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Rachel tilted her head to the sky and cried out in anguish at her failure.

So Sarah and Rachel became frenemies and traveled to the beach for ice cream.

Rachel had poisoned Sarah's ice cream and was waiting for her to finish it.

Unfortunately, Sarah was immune to the poison and poisoned Rachel's ice-cream for revenge and Rachel died.

An arrow lodged its way into Sarah's heart, making her bleed large pools of blood.

(The pools of blood represent the author’s incapability to remember that Polly was the main character.)

But Polly enjoyed the blood, for she was secretly a vampire.

But the blood did not enjoy Polly because it was secretly a werewolf.

The blood slowly transformed and showed its true form, it turned into a mighty beast and lunged at Polly.

Sarah, who was bleeding previously, exploded into flames, and those flames became Rachel but Wolf Pups.

Rachel but wolf pups howled up at the sky to summon their master.

The blood puddle secretly thought that the werewolf was cool, so he and Polly got together.

Meanwhile Gerald was in a tree outside fighting off some killer chipmunks with a plastic sword.

Rachel nommed on Sarah the tooth demon, watching hell break loose in front of her.

She chewed Sarah the Tooth Demon hard enough to break her own teeth.

And from those teeth rose Sarah the tooth fairy, who waved her wand angrily at Rachel for breaking so much teeth in such a short time.

On the other side, chipmunks were slowly eating Gerald's sword and his body.

"Help me!" He cried in anguish, but Polly ignored her, glad to be thinking for herself for once.

Polly was revealed to be Sarah but tooth fairy’s sister who’d once stolen Sarah’s cookies from her.

And then everyone died.

But not really.

Polly had lived.

Polly took away her mask to reveal several Polly-Sarah hybrids who now swarmed the entire planet.

The planet came to the verge of extinction.

But the polly Sarah hybrids survived by eating an exclusive diet of dried raisins.

But unfortunately, all the Polly-Sarah hybrids died.

And the raisins rose to become Gerald and his chipmunks.

But, in reality, Hestia had saved the Polly-Sarah hybrids, and wanted revenge.

So she pulled out a suit of armor and crawled inside, teleporting herself and the polly-sarah hybrids to another planet.

Once she reached there the planet exploded.

But the Sarah hybrids built a time machine with the power of friendship and restored the planet.

And everyone linked hands and sang and danced.

Sang and dance watched from far away, frowning at the hysterical way Sarah hybrids were dancing and disgracing their kind.

So they summoned dance and song, their alter egos, to fly down and kidnap the ones who had disgraced them so.

But disgrace was not happy with dance and song, so she refused to help.

Refusal refused to allow the kidnapping to happen and slapped away Dance and Song.

But slapped refused to be controlled that way and so he slapped away refusal afterward.

Afterward was angry so he pushed slapped off a cliff.

Cliff was in love with slapped so she saved him and made afterward fall

But fall couldn’t condone this because afterward was his best friend, instead he shoved love off.

Shoved couldn't take anymore of  this so he fed everyone explosives and hit the ignite button

Ignite, infuriated, plotted out a plan to take revenge from shoved.

Revenge leaned back in his chair and sipped tea while watching the chaos unfold.

And chaos waited in obscurity, biding his time, and by the time he had braced himself for his next attack, Sarah but Unfold barged into the scene, clasping Rachel but sword in her hand.

Rachel but sword didn't like Sarah but Unfold so she cut off Sarah but Unfold's hand.

The human race then collectively decided not to use second names.

The author decided the universe was too confusing so they made everyone a sword.

But confusing didn’t like that.

Thus Confusing killed the author.

And, Killed became the author.

And Killed became the Killed.

But was Killed actually Killed?

Killed actually was Not Killed, and Not Killed pulled off his mask to reveal SARACHEL

The human race all groaned.

Groan groaned, groaning.

(But was Groan really groaning?)

Groan was groaning and Groaning murdered the author

And they all achieved sentences immediately after.

Groans groaned over the groans groaning and finally became the biggest groaning groans to exist.

Groan groaned Existence.

Sarah groaned.

Meanwhile, far far away Polly was crafting a plan to turn her name into a verb as well.

At the same time, Sarah Sarahed furiously and stepped into the world of groans, groaning.

The groans groaned about the groaning groans who groaned about those who could groan no more.

But Sarah didn't like the groaning groans groaning about groaning groans so she yeeted them out of the multiverse.

Sarah exploded with a groan.

Then exploded, exploded everyone else as well and grinned triumphantly.

"No,"the author said and removed his brains.

Rachel barged into the author's room with a groan, and put back his brain, Sarah following her.

But following was actually on Polly's side the entire time.

Polly, Sarah and Rachel turned out to be sisters.

Then they murdered each other in a bloodbath and only Brain of the Author was left

"Is this finally the end?" A very desperate editor asked, wiping the blood, sweat and tears from her face.

"That depends, is it?" The blood, sweat and tears intoned in unison before her.

And then, out of nowhere, Quixotic snapped her fingers and said, "The End."

"But end it is not," said End but Not, stepping into the scene, his eyes alight with conviction.

Chaos and End but Not approached the authors, furious at making the editor suffer.

The author said,"you do not need to work anymore. The editor is already losing brain cells while reading this" and Chaos smirked.

Chaos said, "but torturing the editor is fun and the author is already brain-dead, I control this story."

Chaos then decided to end the universe so they made everything explode.

The End.