WEEK THREE

Prompt: Four roommates are extraterrestrials who have taken human form in the hope of learning about Earth's culture. Now for the twist: each alien is from a different planet and believes the other three are normal humans. (Continuation, except that's... not how it turned out...)

Genre: I... have absolutely no idea.

Warnings: n/a (unless you count craziness)

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Melony walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and scanned its contents, her stomach rumbling loudly. Two reptilian creatures glanced up at her with pleading eyes, only to find themselves munched on in the next instant.

"Eugh, reptiles," she said as she wiped the blood away from her face. "Why can't I have real food nowadays?"

She sighed, then walked over to the couch and sat down. She sank into the soft cushions, then shrieked as they swallowed her whole.

"What the hell?" Melony asked as she tried to get up, but only found herself being pushed into the cushion more. "Hold on, what's going on?"

Alas! T'was a portal to a new world of sofa cushions and lost change, where dreams came to wither into scarecrows of anger. The crocodile hair slides that reside down there are fearsome, and the waters are treacherous, so be wary, (not) dearest Melony.

Melony dropped into what she thought was a lake. It was illuminated with purple crystals which shone like lone stars in the sky. She started beating her arms rapidly to rise to the surface. And there upon the shore, a heron of questionable origins. Small, glowing, hedgehog-like creatures encircled the heron, making odd chittering noises.

"Gotta go fast," the hedgehogs said. But they moved incredibly slowly. As slowly as the amber waves of time that come to eat everything.

Melony furrowed her brows and looked up, staring at the purple sky that stretched with stars. "Where am I?"

The heron looked upon the sky, its eyes full of melancholy. "All that remains here is the shell of a world forgotten by time."

Melony looked at the heron and swam away from it. "Is- is that a description of this place or you just being melancholic?"

"Both!" The heron wailed. "Both at once! What else could it be? They come hand in hand in this place! The beauty corrupts the eyes in such a way you can't help but cry all the time!"

The purple crystals pulsed in their own time, the waves of the lake in theirs. The discordant songs they made grated on the ears. The heron lifted off, wailing as he disappeared into the horizon. Waves lapped at the land, caressing it as gently as a mother to her babe.

Melony swam to the shore and sat on the damp soil, contemplating the lake. The hedgehogs were quick to surround her, beginning their bizarre chants anew. One hedgehog strode up to her with a tiny basket of berries in its little mouth. Hypnosis inducing berries.

But Melony didn't know that. She thought that the berries were a peace offering, so she grabbed one and took a bite. She instantly began to feel woozy, and her mind clouded.

This place is horrible, she thought thickly. It's like... like I'm Melony in Nightmareland. A strange giggle burst from her mouth; suddenly everything seemed oddly funny.

The trees sprouted googly eyes, sticking out nonexistent tongues and licking lollipops. Singing gum drops and a river filled with blueberry water appeared. A glowing hyena burst from the trees, grinning and dancing the tango while he shouted, "I'm a pretty boy!"

A wolf appeared and glared at Pup, the author who'd decided to add the hyena. "I thought you said I was the pretty boy."

And then, a golden dragon appeared. "No, I'm the pretty boy!"

The singing gumdrops joined in: "You already know we are the best looking..."

Meolony sat down. A steaming mug of tea appeared on the ground beside her; she picked it up and drank, observing the chaos. "Yep," she declared to no one in particular. "I'm officially insane."

But is Melony insane or are her writers insane?

As the thought came to her, the writer who had first created Melony appeared in front of her, amidst the madness. "Hello, my dear child."

One of the writers opened their notebook and hummed. "How did we get from alien roommates AU to a girl on an acid trip again?"

Sila looked up at Ace. "Hehe. Acid trip goes brrr--"

Puzzled, Pup stared around. "Wait, are we now our own characters...? Have we created ourselves?"

Ace sighed and shook her head. "Great, existential crises. Just what we need. I will be contacting my therapist, is anyone else interested to come to an appointment?"

Peaches slowly raised her hand and confidently asked, "Do they have chocolate for the people they see?"

Sila nodded furiously. "Yeee!"

Melony came behind Sila and poked her shoulder. "Yo, did you guys forget about me?"

Turtle shooed Melony away. "This is no longer about you."

Melony scoffed. "But I'm the main character. It's always about me."

Shaking her head, Pup jabbed a claw at the dancing hyena. "Nope. His name is Jerry. He's the main character now."

"Ah, good idea!" Ace snapped her fingers. In an instance, Melony screamed, and her voice blurred away in the distance. Now only Jerry remained, standing still in the void of lakes and stars, dancing to his heart's content.

Sila then stole Ace's chainsaw and cut Jerry's head off. All the authors glared at her.

Sila grinned madly. "What?! I wanted to kill someone."

Turtle facepalmed, shaking her head. "If I had known we could kill the characters, I would have done it a long time ago and said 'the end'."

Peaches watched in shock as what used to be the main character disappeared before the second one was beheaded. Then she said the only thing that mattered to her, "Where do I get some chocolate?"

Pup, who had been staring aghast at Jerry's dead body, perked her ears up. "Chocolate, you say?"

Sila snaps her finger and the surroundings turn into pools of swirling chocolate syrup and fields of colourful candy and sweets.

"Call me Willy Wonka."

"!sprint for 30 in 2," Ace ordered, completely ignoring the story.

...there is no response from writer bot

Turtle laughed at Ace. What's new?

"No way! Am I dreaming or am I dreaming?" Peaches asked in disbelief at the candy. "I can die in peace now," she said, diving in.

A new sprint has been scheduled. Sprint will start in approx 2 minutes and will run for 30 minute(s). Use sprint join <wordcount> to join this sprint.

"Uh--" Ace opened her mouth to say something, but closed it immediately.

"You're -- hey! You didn't give us the option to say you're not dreaming! That's cheating!!" Taffie huffed in annoyance, though most of that was because she was swimming in confusion once more.

But there's not exactly anything new about that.

Peaches keeps her eyes on the candy as Taffie threw a tantrum. "All's fair in Love and Candy," she shouts behind her.

Gazing around at her fellow chaotic writers, Pup sighed. She needed to resurrect some semblance of plot somehow. With a snap of her claws, she summoned a new main character - this one a woman with wings like a bat and an unhealthy obsession for cleaning windows.

Clorex stretched her wings for a bit and blinked. "Wait, there's no windows here! Where am I?!"

Let it be known that Taffie protests at being said to have thrown a tantrum. Taffie is not a toddler, and does not throw tantrums. She simply despairs of her permanent confusion. :')

Another main character, Peaches thought. "These people are crazy", she muttered under her breath. "I'm with the right crowd."

In a poof of blue smoke, Clorex's mouse-shaped spirit guide, Dill, appeared before her. And her other spirit guide, Mr. Clean appeared soon after. All the authors stared as Clorex's eyes swept the room looking for her one savior. A window. But alas, there are no windows to be found.

For they were all in pane

(Editor Dreams: Please, everyone, give Bird a round of applause for that pun 😂😂😂)

"Come," called Mr. Clean. "Let us journey in search of windows."

Sila then summoned thousands of creatures like Clorex. They clawed at the bare walls, looking for windows to clean. But since they were unable to find any, the first of many creatures snapped, proceeding to viciously clean the island's inhabitants.

"Cannibalism!" cried Taffie. It took her a long, long time to realise her mistake, by which time those left of both species launched at her, incredibly insulted. She ran off screaming bloody murder, and poofed to read.

"They did cannibalism on grape!" Ace yelled before leaving to write.

Sila shouted excitedly. "I figured out who Grape Man is!"

In the middle of the shrieking Clorexes and insane authors, Pup shrugged. "I guess a stable plot really is impossible." She slunk off to play a game of football with Dill, who was equally perplexed.

Editor Dreams poofed into existence and slowly looked around. "Wh-what happened here?" She tripped over a piece of rubble and picked it up, floating a few yards in the air to avoid the rampaging Clorexes. "What did you do to the fourth wall?"

Turtle smiled, kicking aside bits of rubble. "We obliterated it, of course."

Dreams shook her head. "Yes, of course. What else would have happened?"

Taffie ran back in, arms waving. "I have discovered a wild beast! Come, come!" She rushes back away, coming back with a miniature broomstick. "Look! It's terrifying!!"

Gabby shook her head, dropping a giant hellhound--Pinky--in to clean up the mess. She set to cleaning with great vigor. She fluffed her pink tutu and readjusted her apron. If she was going to clean, she needed to look good.

Dreams decided to accept the strangeness and patted Pinky's head. "Here, I'll help you clean," she said, turning to wave away a few Clorexes.

Meanwhile, in the corner, Pup was crouched over sad, headless Jerry. Flexing his smoky blue magic, Dill reattached Jerry's head and breathed life into him once more. Immediately leaping into a dance, Jerry twirled over to Pinky, eager for a friend.

Pinky rolled her eyes. Jolly natures were like eating a hot dog without the contents.

A shadowed figure rose to its feet on the nearby mountainside. It had only one mission: kill any mc that entered the story. Breathing evenly, it nocked an arrow to its bowstring, took aim at Jerry, and released.

"No!" Pup cried. She growled, and at her command the arrow halted midair and fell harmlessly to the ground.

Sila snapped her fingers and changed Jerry into a wolf. "Much better. Hyenas smell."

"Perfect," Pup said, nodding her approval to Sila.

Then, Mount Vesuvius exploded, killing everything in sight. But among the destruction were the eerily beautiful sight of people's last acts, encased in ashes for eternity. A lover's embrace, a family gathering... and what looked suspiciously like a man in the midst of throes of passion.

THE END

Or was it truly the end? For if one tale is to end, surely another is to begin.

Hotel? Trivago.

I'm lovin' it.

The clown from IT starts to dance. Pennywise is tied down and eaten by a shadowy figure.

Author Turtle burst into the room, knives ready for stabbing and eyes ready for squinting. She inhaled deeply. "When I said 'the end', I meant THE END. Anyone who dares to add more will face the wrath of the dreaded squint and stab."

dot.

Every character ran after Turtle - knives ablaze.

Dreams floated back down from the aether and--since Turtle was somehow simultaneously running from all the characters and sleeping--stabbed Dill and Monique in her place. She forgot to squint though.

It turns out Turtle actually did remember to squint. She then attempts a stab - it obviously misses due to her lack of vision, and she falls off a cliff due to an unfortunate accident that occurs in the subsequent brief struggle.

Turtle halted herself midair, as omniscient authors are wont to do, and vanished from the chaos of this world so she could actually get some sleep.

Monique walked away to study.

THE END... THE FINAL END ("Imma stab anyone who starts it again," Sila said.)

Dill started. Sila stabbed Dill. And then, mount Vesuvius exploded once again, killing everything that remained and ensuring that everything really did end.

THE END

And that's how the Skeleton War started.