WEEK 52

Prompt:

"It's your choice," she shrugged.

"You can continue with your worthless life. Or you can become someone who matters."

**********

"Are you saying that I don't matter?" I cried.

"You are a fruit, of course not," said Sarah.

"In the grand scheme of things, you are but a speck of dust in the universe," added a ghost who came out of nowhere.

"A piece of dust that will be, in time, swept away."

I sat, wondering if my entire life was a lie.

"Why do I have to make a choice?"

"Because this is discord, and people make our story," said Sarah.

The fourth wall shattered into millions of pieces.

Sarah frowned, saying, "Oh, so you're the people that are forcing me to be this weird character that's always in these cursed Contribution Stories!"

The dreamers laughed at Sarah's ignorance.

Sarah pulled out a knife from her purse. Then, she put the knife back into her purse.

"Why did I do that?" Sarah asked herself.

"Because you had a desire to murder someone?"

"You must conquer those desires!" said a wise man in the distance. "I am your trainer. I'm here to teach you how to reach your highest potential."

"If this involves sitting under a waterfall, then I'm out."

"Oh no, it doesn't," the wise man said.

"So uh...I've been demoted to background character now?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yes, because everyone is busy trying to control Sarah."

"Oh, okay. I'm going to have some bagels. Don't ask for any, because I won't be sharing any of this time. The last time, you finished the whole thing without me!"

Suddenly, Sarah left, and all mentions of bagels were outlawed, much to the unrest of New Yorkers.

"Wait, I didn't even get to introduce myself!" yelled Kristilius, the wise old man who was also Sarah's trainer.

It started to rain donuts

Kristilius opened his mouth in an unnaturally wide way, almost ripping it apart, in hopes of catching and eating one. He didn't catch one but instead dislocated his jaw. He couldn't take the pain so he died, aged 96 and a half.

The next day, he was brought back to life by Aeneas, who was hired by Sarah. Aenas was secretly Kristoff, from Frozen.

Kristoff turned into a chocolate glazed donut, which turned into a bagel, causing the bagel ban to be broken.

A rebellion started. On one side, was the great Catsip, and on the other, was the equally great Sarah.

As a way to prepare for the war, the first thing Sarah did was buy a bagel cutter. But then, the universe got tired of these characters and wiped them off, killing each and every one of them. And the poor writers beyond the fourth wall scratched their heads, trying to come up with another sentence.

Fungi began growing in the blood puddles left behind by the fallen characters, and soon developed sapience.

"What in the world is a sapience-"

"Who cares!" a noble dreamer shouted at the rest of them, "We must battle the evil dreamers creating insanity!"

The fungi released spores over the entire Earth. Kaosas was the name of the new dominant species. But little did they know, there was one spore who didn't want to take over the world; he was to be it's hero.

A great darkness swept across the universe, chilling everything in existence, turning all to frost and ice. Everything except the tardigrades died, and they slowly evolved to be the size of pigs. Sadly, they exploded, leaving behind the luminous pixies that had been trapped deep within their bellies for the past millennia. The luminous pixies were spores of the Medusoid Mycelium! And they all disappeared into dust.

Then, Santa Claus came dancing in with great hip-hop moves.

A Fae named Ala came down the chimney screaming, "DON'T EAT THE COOKIES THEY ARE POISON-"

"You mean Poison-Free!" Sarah chanted.

"NOPE, POISON-"

But Sarah ate the cookies - the cookies that were poisonous, but gluten free! However, they were not lactose free, which caused her to die. She then became a ghost.

"Great, now I can terrorize people in other creative ways!" Sarah laughed.

But then, the magical fungi found a way to yeet Sarah out of this universe. And she appeared somewhere, unexpected.

She explored her surroundings only to find out that she was inside a giant Mario head, standing right on Mario's brain. But what she didn't know was that it was a bodiless Mario head. (Basically it was just a head.)

But it wasn't actually Mario, it was...Wario.

"Yep, we can call it that too," a monkey said.

She stumbled back at the surprise of a talking monkey and slipped on some kind of gooey pink slime. It was brain juice. Sarah then died of unnatural causes and the bagel ban on the world was lifted, causing much celebration. A new holiday called Bagel Bingefest was created.

"Who decapitated my brother?" yelled Waluigi belatedly, picking up a head, and falling into a bottomless void never to be seen again, until the next Mario soccer game was released, with the head as the ball.

People were so disgusted that there were riots in the streets. And Mario's head kept shouting "It's me - MARIO-"

"MARIO MADNESS!" Waluigi yelled from the pit

The turtles attacked and killed everyone. Only Toad survived.

"YAY!" He cried in relief and joy before Bowser ate him and grew in size as a result.

Meanwhile, Yoshi was chilling on his island and drinking coconut milk.

"Who's Bowser, or was it Browser? And who's Yoshi, again?" A resurrected Sarah asked.

"We're checking Yoshi's browser, whom did you assume?"

"Oh, looks like Yoshi committed tax fraud."

Someone stabbed Sarah and she went back to being dead.

The IRS knocked on Yoshi's door. Yoshi was very confused, so he went down to his secret bunker and watched TV. Yoshi was sadly caught by Peach's guards, and was tragically executed later that evening in medieval fashion. His head was also now a soccer ball, and a talking monkey stole it.

That monkey went on to win every soccer game it ever entered. It became a soccer world champion and earned enough money to pay for bringing his beloved friend Sarah back to life.

"Who are you?" Sarah asked.

"Sarah, I am your father," the monkey said.

"Bu-but, I'm human, and you're a monkey!"

"How are you so sure that you're human?"

"Maybe because I have every feature a human has, and I look like one too?"

"Look in the mirror, Sarah; you know it to be true."

Sarah looked in the mirror, and wiggled her twenty-five fingered hands

"I should get some sleep soon," she muttered.

"Yes, you should," her brain agreed.

Suddenly, the world turned into Oreos and grape jelly. Little did Sarah know, she was already sleeping - how could all these unnatural and surreal events throughout these stories occur outside a dream? With a little bit of fairy dust, of course.

Tinkerbell's name was written all over it. But Peter would have liked it to be his. So, Peter stole the rhino's treasured acorn and did a victory dance to make himself feel better. The victory dance was the final one, destined to end this world once and for all, so that no Sarah could bring it back.

However, something was watching all this time, and it began to stir.

Don, the Duck Emperor, walked over, still wrapped in a blanket from his bed and a ribbon on his head. Then the dancing banana from it's peanut butter jelly time came in from out of nowhere. But then is shot by Shrek using a bandana and a baseball bat. And the monkey writer started spamming the skull emoji into the story, because why not?

Then, Sarah started glaring at Myra for ruining her super-scrumptious-totally-gluten-free-and-not-dosed-with-poison chocolate burrito.

The End.