Reposted: November 30, 2021

——————————

IT'S A CHAPTER THIS TIME, I SWEAR ON MY LOTION

Summary: the anti-Dumbles team plots; Dumbledore gets his just desserts, extremely hot just desserts

"So let me get this straight. You were supposed to use Polyjuice to act as me and enter Harry in the Triwizard Tournament. He would do each of the tasks, and at the end of the third task, he would be transported to a graveyard to ressurrect an insane Dark Lord. Did I miss something?"

As Remus spoke, his voice progressively grew louder until he was practically shouting. A touch from Sirius calmed him down somewhat.

"No, that's pretty much it," Barty said almost sheepishly. The way Remus had phrased it made him realize what a foolish plan it was. There were so many things that could go wrong, like Harry dying before he made it to the third task.

Remus rubbed his face. "I need a drink."

Sirius silently passed him a glass of Firewhiskey, and Remus took a swig.

"On the bright side," Sirius said, "Voldemort's dead."

"Yes." Remus set down his glass. "And now we have these two—" he waved a hand impatiently "—sitting in the manor."

"Where else were they supposed to go?" Sirius said. "They're officially dead."

"Thanks for the reminder," Barty muttered.

"You mentioned Dumbledore interfering," Bellatrix recalled. "What exactly did he do?"

Sirius cleared his throat. "I think a better question is what didn't he do?"

The Death Eaters exchanged uneasy glances. That didn't sound good.

"What did Voldemort see?" Harry asked.

"Everything," Tom muttered, still winded. His mind shields, while very strong, had been no match for Voldemort. It didn't help that they had not been up completely when the attack happened.

The mirror call had indeed come as Remus predicted, but it was brief. Sirius simply told them to come into Black Manor and deactivated before either could respond. With Dobby and Kreacher making sure no one came by— specifically a nosy Headmaster— Remus and Harry stepped through the fireplace.

While Remus stared at the two new people warily, Harry immediately turned to Sirius, demanding where Tom was. When he got his answer, he made his way to the bedroom, not even blinking as he passed Nagini.

"Even the soul bond?" Harry said, running his fingers through Tom's hair.

"Yes. Not that it mattered." Tom slowly relaxed at the contact. "He thought soul bonds were beneath him," he added indignantly.

"He also thought making a bunch of Horcruxes was a good idea," Harry pointed out. "I don't think we should expect him to have any common sense at this point."

The corners of Tom's lips twitched. "True."

"As angry as I am at Voldemort for doing this to you, I can't help but notice how cuddly you are."

"Shut up." Tom swatted halfheartedly at Harry, who simply caught his hand and linked their fingers together.

"You are, though," Harry insisted. "You're literally lying on my stomach."

Tom grunted in response.

A knock at the door made them start.

"Come in," Harry called.

The four adults walked in, Nagini slithering in after them. Azure was wrapped around her, riding piggyback— or would it be snakeyback?

Bellatrix had her head bowed as she stepped up to the bed. "My Lord," she said.

"Er, none of the 'my Lord' stuff," Harry said uncomfortably. "Just Harry will do." He looked between her and Barty. "I take it we have two more for the anti-Dumbles team?"

"We do," Remus said, quirking an eyebrow at the name.

'Technically three,' Azure said.

'I can already see you two will get along wonderfully,' Tom remarked, watching them both.

'Azure's funny,' Nagini said.

'And annoying,' Harry warned her.

"Oh, boy," Sirius said. "Now I can have four people insulting me in a different language."

Remus rolled his eyes. Sirius could be so dramatic. "We need to discuss what we're doing next."

"Right," Harry said briskly. Beside him, Tom sat up, though he still leaned against Harry.

They made plans for the next hour until Remus noticed how sleepy Harry looked.

"We should get back to Hogwarts."

"All right," Harry agreed, too relieved to argue. He kissed Tom and stood up,

"See you later, just Harry," Tom said, grinning.

Harry just stuck out his tongue before following Remus.

They arrived back at Hogwarts through the Floo.

"Night, Moony."

"Good night, Harry."

Harry went to his dorm, and in the morning, he headed back to Remus' quarters. "I just realized something. Severus will probably have felt the difference in his Dark Mark."

"And let me guess, you want to see his reaction," Remus said.

"Aw, Moony, you know me so well," Harry gushed.

Remus buried his face in his hands. "It's too early for this, cub."

"Early?" Harry said indignantly. "It's not early." He yawned. "Okay, maybe it's a little early," he conceded.

Just then, there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," Remus called.

Severus stepped in, his eyes were a bit wider than normal.

"Dark Mark?" Remus said casually, leaning back in his chair.

"Yes," Severus said, not entirely surprised they knew. "You had something to do with it?"

"Not quite, Sevvie," Harry said. "Sit down and we'll tell you."

Severus slowly took a seat on the opposite side and looked at them expectantly. As they began to tell him about the two Death Eaters, his eyes gradually widened until they were looked as if they would fall from his head.

"What do we do now?" Severus asked after several minutes of processing.

"Well, now that we have two more people on our side, we can focus more on researching Dumbledore," Harry said. "We're hoping to expose Dumbledore's true colors to the public via the Daily Prophet."

Severus glanced down at the bouncing teen. "You're enjoying this."

Harry just shrugged. "You know it."

"Brat." Severus stood. "Now, if you excuse me, I have a meddling fool to deal with." Dumbledore had been calling him into his office more frequently to check on the Dark Mark. It had baffled Severus, but it made more sense now.

"Try not to bash his head in for breathing," Harry called after him.

"I'm making no promises," Severus shot back.

"Ah, Severus, right on time," Dumbledore said.

Severus didn't wait for Dumbledore to speak further, just pulled his sleeve back.

Dumbledore let his magic sweep over the mark, nodding grimly. "Just what I had feared."

"And what is that?" Severus asked, barely managing to not sound sarcastic.

"Voldemort is planning something."

Severus didn't flinch at the name, which irked Dumbledore somewhat. He knew saying the Dark Lord's name caused marked Death Eaters pain.

"Like what?" Severus said tensely.

"That I do not know. But we will be prepared," Dumbledore replied, being vague as always. "Now," he added more brightly, "shall we go down to the Great Hall? I'm absolutely famished."

Severus sneered but didn't say anything else as he followed. Dumbledore thought Voldemort was planning something? If all went well, Voldemort would be the last thing he'd be worried about. The thought made Severus smirk darkly. He couldn't wait.

Pretending he didn't notice Dumbledore watching him was very irritating, Harry quickly found out. If this was how Tom felt back when he was a student, it was no wonder Tom was constantly on edge.

"Now I'm starting to want to bash Dumbledore's head in for breathing," he complained to Severus one day when they were down in the Chamber.

"Welcome to my life," the potions professor said.

"On the bright side, Dumbledore's head has not been prematurely bashed in."

He bottled up the vial and put it next to the others. "I'm gonna read for a bit," he announced and exited the lab, leaving Severus to continue brewing.

For the past week, Severus had been extra quiet. Coincidentally— or not— Sirius was also acting strange.

No matter how much Harry begged, neither man would tell him just what was about to happen, but Severus advised him to pay extra special attention during dinner. So far, though, nothing transpired.

Harry read for the next hour, stopping when he saw it was dinner. "Can't you tell me what you're planning?" he begged.

"I can, but I'm not going to," Severus replied.

"Sevvie," Harry whined.

Severus' left eye twitched. "It's tonight," he revealed.

Harry's eyes lit up. He threw his Invisibility Cloak over him and headed for his dorm, where he dropped off his bag. Then he went out to the Great Hall.

"What got you so jittery?" Pansy asked, eyeing her friend warily.

"You'll see." Harry forced himself to calm down and pile food onto his plate while he waited.

He didn't have to wait long.

The professors closest to Dumbledore only just moved away in time as he jumped up and spat out his food. The headmaster was sweating, and he looked like he had bitten into a pepper. He drank from his goblet to get rid of the taste, only to spit that out as well.

McGonagall, who sat next to him, jumped backwards into Remus to avoid the spray. Remus lost his footing and fell toward Severus. Instead of helping him, he merely stepped back and let Remus hit the floor with a yelp.

Dumbledore panted harshly, face burning from humiliation and the steak he had bitten into. To make matters worse, none of the teachers were telling the students off for laughing.

"What did you do?" a sixth-year Gryffindor asked the Weasley twins.

"Nothing," Fred said.

"Although," George added thoughtfully, "I'd give it a ten out of ten."

"Who could have done it, then?" Hermione wondered. Considering how unpopular Dumbledore was at the moment, it wouldn't be easy to figure it out without the person or persons involved showing themselves.

After several minutes of watching the staff flounder about, Dumbledore finally calmed down enough to sit back down, though he took extra care in what he ate. To the disappointment of virtually every student, the rest of dinner went by as normal.

And that night, when Dumbledore had gratefully retired into his office, he popped a lemon drop in his mouth.

Only the portraits were privy to the coughing and swearing of the normally composed headmaster.

I spent way too much time making this...