THIRTEEN

James sat inside his office looking through some files. Business was running smoothly and he was impressed, also more shares had been sold out and interest rates increased rapidly. "In no time, we did have another investment," he chuckled as he viewed the business updates.

Then Suzanne walked in - an odd expression on her face. She walked over to his chair and sat on the desk in front of him - her body facing him totally. James could read her facial expression but definitely not her heart. Altogether, she seemed troubled - her troubles were his, they had always been his. Right from childhood, he always looked out for her - he was more like her super man than a friend. He has always cared for her and that made Suzanne fall so hard for him - helplessly.

He reached out to wipe her tears with his hands and caressed her soft cheeks.

"What is it? Why the sad expression on your face? Did something bad happen?" He poured tons of questions at her.

She remained quiet, her hands trembled too. Her eyes expressed fears and anxiety.

He understood this wasn't the time to ask questions. Instead he gave her a shoulder to cry on. She leaned on his chest - her tears wetting his collared shirt. His ironed shirt now rumpled.

He stroked her hair gently and she could feel the warmth of his chest. His breath on her hair and the rate of his heart beat - pounding loudly that she could hear it. She felt at ease. How she longed to be in his arms, it had been a long time and she feared he did leave her.

'I'm only his and his mine. I can feel his love for me' she said in her mind. He can't be wicked enough to leave her.

She raised her head up, her face a few inches from his. She  was still in his arms and his hands around her waist.

He looked at her. Her distracting features - a wonderful eyes (something he did look at for the rest of his life), her cheekbones - very feminine and cheeky. Her blushes sent hot currents down his spine. He drowned in her eyes, he felt passion for her - something he couldn't define or at least tried not to believe. He unconsciously brushed her lips with the tip of his thumb finger - they were dry and he desperately wanted to wet them.

He kissed her hungrily like a dog starved of bones. He ravished her entire mouth and soft moans escaped her lips. She wanted more - more of him. And he wanted her too - he didn't realize that until now. Her saliva tasted like honey as he savored the bosom of her tongue. Their tongues entangled with one another, awakening strong sexual urges.

Slowly his hands boarded a taxi to ride her body. He felt the smooth texture of her flawless skin and carefully planted kisses on his way. He perceived the scent of her perfume - he had always loved it. She clings tightly to him, afraid that she might fall due to the strange feelings she felt in her stomach. Her knees trembled in weakness too. The kisses he planted on her skin were disastrous - in a sexy way.

This wasn't the first time he had gotten intimate with women but he felt like it was. She just had a strong effect on him, her sleeveless gown wasn't helping him either. He loosened her bra hook and tusked his hands inside her bra - between her breasts.

Suzanne froze. What was that feeling? She opened her eyes. She could feel his erection.

"James, let's...move over....to your place." she said between kisses.

James' eyes were still shut, enjoying what he was doing, "Why?"

"Someone might barge in.....We're in your office..." she replied not letting his hands off her. Gosh! She was so into him.

He opened his eyes and jerked out like he had seen a ghost. His once passionate eyes turned to regrets.

"What was I thinking? Oh goodness! This is wrong. It shouldn't have happened," he complained, buttoning his shirt. He looked at his shirt and shook his head, 'did I go that far?'

"What are you saying? What is wrong?" Suzanne asked, her mind being unable to read his feelings. She knew he enjoyed the moments with her but why was he acting strange?

"I'm really sorry but I can't do this. It's all a mistake, I apologize. Please let's just forget...."

"Forget? You dare say this is a mistake? Fuck! I can't believe it. I don't even understand you. Moments ago you were sucking every breath of mine and now, you think we should just forget it? Why? Am I not good enough? Tell me!" She yelled angrily, tears gathered up in her eyes. How could he say such a thing?

"You are. You are amazing. Any man would want you," he placed his hands on her shoulder, "I'm just not him. I can't be with you."

"Get your hand off me!" she pushed him away violently. Tears now dropped from her eyes. She turned with a dirty chuckle, "is it because of her?"

Nick had told her about Merlin too, he thought his dear friend was out of his mind and he needed someone to confide in, someone to talk sense into James.

James looked at her. Now he knew the reason for her sad expression earlier. "I'm really sorry. I love her and.."

"You call that love? I've been crushing on you for almost forever and you fall for someone you've just met? Is that what love is? Why is love cruel?" She yelled angrily, scattering the items on the desk, "Why? I won't love anymore. Love is cruel," she broke down in tears.

"Love isn't cruel, Suz, You just need to...." He spoke warmly.

"Then why are you cruel to me? Why can't you just love me? ...Why can't you admit you love me? .....Why?" She rushed over to him. Placing a hand on his cheek, " Please love me... please," she begged.

He almost broke down too. Her tears hurt him so much.

He felt wicked for keeping her hopes high just like Nick  had warned. "I'm getting married."

Suzanne's hand left his cheeks abruptly. She gazed into his eyes - she could see her reflection. Then weird thoughts ran through her head. 'Was it hallucinations that his heart beat faster when my head was on his chest? His soft touches and kisses, fake? Why do I feel like he's lying about his feelings for me? Doesn't he feel  the weak knees and butterflies I feel? Does he even know what love is? Am I not beautiful enough? I've lost him - totally. This can't be the James I've known. I miss my James..... maybe this isn't my love story to write....'

All these thoughts ran through her mind as she took every heavy step towards the door. She had finally lost him - he wasn't hers anymore. But then, was he ever hers?

"Suz...Suz..." James called after her but she only slammed the door behind her.  He sank on his seat. He felt like he was on the wrong part. He felt stranded. He felt wicked. How could he do this to a childhood friend? He felt like a large part of him was gone. He felt mad.

Most of all, he knew he was guilty. He had always raised her hopes of love. He fought for her like superman, he defended her like a barrister, he even supported her in various ways. She had stuck closely like glue only because he had always been there for her. But then, who wouldn't fall for a man like James? Someone who arises when you've lost all hopes?

"Why on earth do I feel this way? I have Merlin. She's going to be my wife soon. Why do I feel like this with both of them?" He scratched his head in anger.

"Is it possible to love two women at the same time and that too equally? I might run mad at this rate. This can't be love. I don't love Suzanne, she's just a friend. But why do I feel this way? yes that's because I care for her...." He contemplated and ended up kicking the wall in frustration.

He felt very heart broken and it scared him that he had lost her, "I made the right choice..." He consoled himself but his heart was saying the exact opposite.

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Hi there ✌️

Sorry I updated late. I'll try to update on time okay? How did you enjoy this chapter? Yeah...I feel heart broken too.

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