Chapter 41 - Something New?

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Authors Note:
I know I've been using the same type of artists pictures but man it's really good. And it blends well with the story :), also we've hit 4K reads my peeps thank ya a lot.

Erens POV

When I leave Levi's class I walk by Hanges class and I see Mikasa and Jean talking. I stop and glance then I see Jean pulling her close, before I could see anything else I just started running without a set destination. I run around a bunch of corners and out of the double doors of the school I then sit against the wall of the school. This feels like de ja vu all over again, but this time I was alone. That's the way it's gotta be right? I need to figure this out alone, deal with my problems alone. Putting that burden on someone else is to much and not fair to that person, which is why it's best to do it alone. I continue thinking these thoughts until the doors open and I see Krista looking down from above me.
"Hey, everyone's been wondering where you were. We all decided to look seems like I found you first."
I continue ignoring her and steadily look at the floor.
"Something's clearly bothering you, wanna tell me?"
"Not really."
"Mikasa right? It's about her?"
I don't say anything and that answers her question, she sits beside me and looks at me from the side.
"Mind telling me what happened?"
"She kissed Jean, and I saw from the side lines. It's...the hardest thing to ever even see and I was a witness first hand." She just has the same saddened look as I do, but she places her hand on my cheek and I turn to look her way.
"There's nothing that could probably heal the wound that was dealt to you. But there's people here who love you and care about you Eren. Let them help you."
My eyes start to get a little teary and I try wiping them away.
"I can't, you guys shouldn't be the ones who deal with this problem. I have to face it alone and if I can't then I'm weak, which makes me a good for nothing los-"
I'm cut off by Krista pulling me in and kissing me on the lips, it felt...good, something I need I guess you could say. The kiss lasts for a minute or 2 then we pull back, at this point we're both blushing and she starts smiling at me.
"You aren't a loser, your probably the cutest guy at this school. Even if this kiss means nothing I just wanted to let you know that everyone cares about you in different ways."
I continue blushing like crazy, I never really thought Krista liked me like that. I just thought she was being really nice, I get up off the floor and help her up from the floor.
"Thank you for the pick-me-up....and the kiss."
"No problem."
She replies back with a smile, were halfway through the hallways when I see Armin, Sasha, and Connie racing to us. They flood me with questions of concern and I just tell them I'm fine. When we approach the cafeteria I see our table. Reiner, Annie, and Bertolt are sitting eating their lunch. I see Marco, Jean and Mikasa sitting at the other end of the table. My stomach gets a funny feeling and I don't feel like approaching the table, that's until Krista puts her arm through mine.
"Come on cutie lets sit down."
Everyone gives us wide eyes as we sit down, even Jean and Mikasa do.
"And you say y'all aren't a couple."
Reiner states while chomping down on his food, I blush but ignore the statement. Lunch goes on and Krista stays up under me most of the time, I knows she's trying to get me to pay no attention to Mikasa and it works for the most part up until Mikasa gets up from her seat and storms out of the cafeteria. I look at Jean and he seems heavily confused, then I look at Armins and he nods his head to me. I already know what that means so I get up from my seat and go straight to where Mikasa was headed. When I finally catch up to her I see her crying, when she sees me she hides her face under her scarf.
"What do you want?"
"Mind telling me why you're crying?"
"What? So you can storm off again and blow me off like usual."
"Mikasa just tell me."
"You and Krista, you two are all over each other and it's driving me insane. You happy now?"
"How can you even say that when you just kissed Jean not even an hour ago?"
"What are you even talking about?"
"You kissed him in Hanges room, I was gonna come back and apologize to talk to you about us but then I saw you kiss that horsed face asshole."
"I didn't kiss him dumbass! He tried to kiss me but I pushed him away. He's been helping me a lot with the whole break up so that's why he's been around me a lot but I never kissed him."
"Yeah sure whatever you say. Since he's the one who started this right? So thank him all you want."
"He didn't start this, he just brought it up. That night he made some very valid points that you seem to just not care about."
"And they are?"
"You fought carelessly, you said it was to protect me but was it really? Or was it just because you wanted to fight? Then you never let anyone go with you, all I ever wanted to do was be by your side and help you but you would never even let me do that. Then I'm left with the thought of you dead and it doesn't leave, ever!"
The things that she's saying are...true... but she wouldn't understand the thought of losing someone she loves in front of her.
"When I saw my mom captured, all I could think about was that it was my fault that she was in that position no one else's but mine. Do you think I could forgive myself for seeing you dead while fighting with me? That's why I prefer to fight alone, that's why I prefer to die alone."
She doesn't say another word and neither do I, the bell rings and everyone walks to their 3rd block class. I take my eyes off Mikasa and back down at the floor, nothing more needs to be said for the rest of the day.

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