Honeyfrost sniffed the marigold at her paws, it smelled lush and ready to be picked. She bit the flower off by the stem and carried onwards toward the river in hopes of finding some fennel. She could hear the gentle rushing of the water and through the trees spotted movement by the shore.

As she stepped out into the view she met the icy blue gaze of Blackstorm. As it did every time she saw him, her heart jumped up into her throat. "Good afternoon." Honeyfrost greeted kindly. Ever since the two of them agreed to be friends, seeing Blackstorm had become much more pleasant. She still got the butterflies raging through her stomach at the sight of him, but she was just as happy to call him her friends.

"Good afternoon." Blackstorm repeated after setting down a bright purple flower which Honeyfrost recognized as mallow. "What brings you to the river?"

"Oh you know," Honeyfrost purred. "Just topping off my herb supplies." She padded down the river bank, the only thing that separated them was the water. "The den is pretty full by now, but we can always use more."

"I agree." Blackstorm gave his mallow a sniff. "This is really the only thing that's not bursting out of my herb store, so I figure I should make it." The two of them shared a small laugh. "How are things in SunClan? Heatherflight give birth yet?"

Honeyfrost shook her head. "Any day I'm hoping, this pregnancy has been really rough on her."

"How so?" Blackstorm tilted his head.

"She constantly complains of a stomach ache and can barely eat or keep down prey. I'm worried about her." Honeyfrost admitted. "I just hope that the actual kitting is easier for her."

"Primroseheart has been complaining of the same symptoms..." Blackstorm said out, his voice trailing off.

"Has she been close with any toms lately?" Honeyfrost questioned. She could be expecting, though Heatherflight's symptoms didn't start until a moon into her pregnancy."

"She has been rather close with Dustfall I suppose." Blackstorm thought harder. "I guess I could check her out when I get back, I haven't been checking for signs of an expecting queen."

"I hope that's what it is." Honeyfrost added. "New kits are always a blessing." She purred. "I'm so excited to help Heatherflight's kits into the world, the last kits I helped deliver was Cherryleaf's and they're almost apprentices!"

"I feel the same." Blackstorm nodded. "If this is the case, then I'll be on my own delivering them."

"You can do it." Honeyfrost purred loudly and gratitude flashed in his eyes. "Well," She didn't want to end this meeting but she had duties to attend to. "I should get these herbs back before Pebblestep starts questioning."

Blackstorm laughed, the light in his eyes warmed Honeyfrost's heart. For the past several moons I've only seen him look broken and sad, it's so nice to see happiness in his eyes. "I'll see you at the half-moon, Honeyfrost." Blackstorm called happily and Honeyfrost began heading back to camp. She still felt the same way about Blackstorm, but coming to terms with their lives had helped her to live with the truth. And we'll be together once we meet in the stars. Honeyfrost reminded herself, her heart fluttering.

Honeyfrost reached the den where Pebblestep was already putting away the yarrow that she had gathered. "Good pickings." She nodded when Honeyfrost stepped in with a jawful of fennel and marigold. She sorted her herbs and lapped up some water to get the taste of herbs off her tongue. She had barely sat down when she heard panicked pawsteps racing towards their den.

"Honeyfrost! Pebblestep!" The voice came from Flashtail who skidded to a stop in front of the den, kicking up some pebbles. "Heatherflight is kitting!"

Pebblestep and Honeyfrost shared a nod and Honeyfrost began gathering all the herbs they would need. At long last! Please StarClan let this be an easy kitting! Honeyfrost prayed and ran to the nursery with her herbs. Pebblestep was in the nursery and Fawnheart had passed on Maplekit and Bramblekit to Cherryleaf who kept her kits outside and out of the way.

"This hurts so much." Heatherflight whimpered, he claws tearing at the moss and bracken of her nest. "Is it supposed to hurt this much?"

Pebblestep nodded. "Every queen is different, but don't worry, Heatherflight. We'll take care of you. Flashtail, help keep her calm." Flashtail sat behind Heatherflight's head, licking her head and whispering calming words into her ears.

"Here," Honeyfrost pushed a large stick towards Heatherflight's muzzle. "You'll need this, trust me."

Heatherflight took the stick gently in her mouth and Honeyfrost turned her attention to Pebblestep. The medicine cat rested her paw on Heatherflight's stomach and a shadow of doubt crossed her face. What's wrong.

Honeyfrost wanted to ask her mentor, but she would just make every cat panic so she held her tongue. Heatherflight let out a sudden, shrill cry of pain, dropping the stick. "The stick." Honeyfrost reminded her and Heatherflight took the stick in her teeth again, biting down so hard the wood began to splinter.

"Just bare through it Heatherflight," Pebblestep spoke. "It'll be over before you know it."

Pebblestep continued to prep Heatherflight who let out several more cries of pain, Honeyfrost felt fear creeping into her heart. "It's time to start pushing, Heatherflight." Pebblestep instructed and Honeyfrost braced herself for the first kit.

"I can't!" Heatherflight wailed, clearly in agony. "It hurts!"

"You have to." Pebblestep urged. "Your kits need you to be strong, do you understand me? Push as hard as you can, I'm here to help you."

Heatherflight nodded shakily and Honeyfrost could see her entire body tense as she pushed. Honeyfrost could see the first kit starting to come. "Keep going, Heatherflight." Honeyfrost encouraged. "The first one is almost here."

As Heatherflight pushed, Honeyfrost could see the kit was coming out paws first. This isn't good. Honeyfrost would have to help the little kit out. "Keep going." She said once again, placing her paws gently on the half-exposed kitten.

Honeyfrost could hear the stick splintering moor as Heatherflight yowled in pain around it. At long last, the first kit was free. "Fawnheart, take this one I need to keep focusing on Heatherflight."

Fawnheart nodded without complaint and took the little kit, nipping through the sack and licking the little kit roughly along its spine. Please let it be okay.

The next kit was already on the way and in the same awkward position as the first. Here we go again. Honeyfrost's paws were covered in blood. She's losing so much, we have to act quickly. "Push hard, Heatherflight." Honeyfrost called. "You're almost done, I promise!"

Honeyfrost didn't think there would be any more than two, she hoped so at least. With some more painful pushes from Heatherflight, Honeyfrost got the second kit out. She very quickly took the kit and let Pebblestep work on stopping the bleeding.

"Are they okay?" Flashtail questioned with worry, Honeyfrost didn't respond she had to focus.

Honeyfrost ran her tongue along the kits fur, she had a little brown tom. Please, StarClan. No matter how hard Honeyfrost licked the kit, it didn't move or even squak. No. StarClan please no. Honeyfrost didn't stop, she could see how hard Pebblestep was working on Heatherflight, she was alone in helping this kit.

"Honeyfrost." Fawnheart whimpered quietly. Not that one too. Honeyfrost looked to the helpless bundle of fur at Fawnheart's paws, she continued licking it but the little white kit didn't even twitch. Honeyfrost looked at the brown tom, his face was peaceful. He never even got to open his mouth. I'm so sorry.

"Why are you stopping?" Flashtail demanded of Honeyfrost, looking at his son. Honeyfrost could feel her heart shattering.

"There's nothing I can do, Flashtail." Honeyfrost's voice was low, she could barely contain her emotions.

Flashtail's eyes went wide. "N-no, there has to be something!" His eyes were filled with panic, Honeyfrost noticed that Heatherflight had gone quiet as well. "Pebblestep can you--"

"Shut up and let me work!" Pebblestep hissed, Honeyfrost could hear the urgency in her voice. Please don't take Heatherflight as well. Honeyfrost thought painfully, she kept the little kit close to her and the cats inside the nursery waited in painful silence until Pebblestep stopped.

She stepped back, her paws caked in blood. She breathed out a shaky sigh. "I stopped the bleeding." She mewed, her voice exhausted.

"My-my kits." Heatherflight spoke, her voice weak and trembling. "Where are my kits."

"I'm so sorry." Pebblestep's voice trembled, as did her body. This isn't how this is supposed to go. "Th-the kits didn't make it."

Heatherflight's body trembled and she let out a weak wail. "No...that can't be right. I worked so hard--they can't be dead!" She attempted to stand up but Pebblestep kept her down.

"You've lost a lot of blood, you need to rest."

"I want to see my kits." Heatherflight's voice was a slight growl to it. Honeyfrost and Fawnheart shared an uncertain look but carried the two lifeless kits to their mother. They were placed at her belly, but didn't go for milk.

"Oh my kits." Heatherflight whimpered. "I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry." She repeated the same phrase over and over, her voice weak and shattered.

Flashtail moved in close, resting his muzzle on his two dead kits. "My sweet kits." He breathed out. "I wish I could've met you."

The remaining cats in the nursery left the parents to grieve, Honeyfrost felt hollow and empty. They didn't even stand a chance.

Upon seeing them, Cherryleaf stood up and faced them she had clearly heard what went on inside. "How is Heatherflight? The kits?" Pebblestep seemed to broken to speak so Honeyfrost spoke in her stead.

"Heatherflight lost a lot of blood but she's alive and the kits--" Her voice broke. "But the kits didn't make it."

Cherryleaf flattened her ears. "That's so tragic." She whispered and pulled in her kits close, Fawnheart did the same. Honeyfrost looked to her mentor, Pebblestep's eyes were glazed over and she stared at her paws. Is she in shock?

"Come on," Honeyfrost nudged her mentor. Pebblestep lifted her head, she was responsive but there was something deeply bothering her. I feel it too. Honeyfrost helped her mentor back to the medicine cat den. Once they were secluded in their den, Pebblestep spoke.

"Delivering kits is the best part of being a medicine cat," She breathed out. "Which is why it hurts so much when this happens." Pebblestep sat down, slumping her shoulders and turning her back on Honeyfrost. Honeyfrost sat down beside her mentor, brushing her pelt against hers. "There's something we must understand as medicine cats," Pebblestep continued. "Sometimes, we have to make a choice, and our choices can cost lives."

Honeyfrost didn't understand what Pebblestep was trying to say. "What do you mean?" She questioned.

"I've experienced this before." Pebblestep sighed. "This exact same situation." Honeyfrost once again recalled Pebblestep's mother. She died giving birth along with two of her kits leaving only Cloudspots. "When my mother gave birth to Cloudspots, I thought I had to give everything to him, Dovetail was strong. She could survive, she had to survive, but she didn't. Owlkit and Breezekit were born dead, just as these two were but Cloudspots still had a chance. Cloudspots lived, and my mother didn't." She sighed heavily.

"I never once resented Cloudspots, though. Only myself. When I found myself in this situation again, I thought about Dovetail. I realized as soon as the first kit came into the world that she was dead, and Heatherflight was bleeding out fast. I hated to leave you to helpless kits, but I knew that if I didn't put all of my focus on Heatherflight, she would die. Even if the kits did have a small chance, I still would have focused on Heatherflight." Pebblestep lifted her head, meeting Honeyfrost's gaze. Her good blue eye was filled with pain and guilt. "Heatherflight is still alive. Flashtail still has a mate, and Fawnheart, Brackenpelt and Flamepetal still have a sister.

"We will mourn the loss of these kits, and Heatherflight and Flashtail will be in pain for a long time, but in the future, they can try again. Heatherflight is here, and that's what mattered to me." Pebblestep dropped her head once more. "I hope you don't think less of me, Honeyfrost. I did what I had to do."

"No," Honeyfrost touched her muzzle to Pebblestep's cheek. "I understand why you did it." She really did understand, the loss of the two kits was tragic and would be felt for many moons, even longer for the grieving parents, but Heatherflight was still alive. She still had a chance for kits in the future. Pebblestep did the right thing, I just wish all of them could've lived.

"Thank you, Honeyfrost." Pebblestep mewed quietly and the two medicine cats shared a long moment of silence together. Being a medicine cat isn't always. We can't save everyone, and we have to understand that, no matter how hard it may be.

Echoheart's image flashed in Honeyfrost's mind once again. I had to kill her, I know this. Just like Pebblestep had to choose Heatherflight over the kits. This is our destiny, our duty to our Clans. This is the life we chose.