So.

A lot of people see me as a kind, friendly person who wants to help everyone feel better.

That's partially true, but not entirely.

I tend to be selfish sometimes, and I forget to help others a lot of times. My grandma wants me to improve in that, but there's a problem.

I usually have a hard time taking criticism.

I'm super sensitive, so I cry at even the slightest insults or embarrassments. It doesn't take a lot for me to feel paranoid, afraid, insecure,  or upset.

Whenever someone points out my flaws, or mentions something that I should've done but didn't do, I get really upset. I have a hard time taking it.

I also have a quick temper and tend to lash out, but not in the ways most people do.

I will actually roar, screech, hiss, growl, and even yowl at anyone who annoys me. I can't help it. They don't like it. They tell me to stop acting like an animal, and it makes me feel even worse.

I have a tendency to mishear or misinterpret things, too.

Just earlier today, I bumped into someone by accident and apoligized, and he apoligized back because he didn't notice me either, and I thought he got mad at me so I snapped at him, and he immediately tried to defend himself.

I have medicine that's supposed to help with this, but it doesn't work, but I'm forced to take it anyway.

When grandma finds out that I don't take it, it makes me feel upset and guilty, and I want to snap at her and say that it doesn't work anyway.

I've told her once. She doesn't believe me.

Also, keep in mind I'm a fearful person.

I don't like it when people look at me, and I get paranoid when people say "Hello" to me for no reason or just act a little to friendly, especailly if I've seen or heard said "people" talk mean about me.

I also back down when I get the smallest threat.

Well, back down...and break down.

But...no one understands, and I have no way to tell anyone.

I'm afraid that if I try to tell my grandparents, they'll get angry at me.

I'm afraid that if I try to tell my classmates, they'll laugh it off and not believe me.

They've already told me that I know how to control my "episodes," but I don't.

I don't know how.

And they don't understand.

No one understands.