Desa was doing her utmost to just shut up and not disturb the peaceful quiet they had going on over breakfast. She was sitting at one end of the table and Aksel was sitting on the other, he was scribbling some stuff down on a leather journal, similar to the one she had found in the cabinet drawer.

It was hard to see what he was writing from this far out but she guessed it was business related. Turning her attention to her plate she continued gobbling down her pile of eggs and toast. Aksel had also put out honey and jam in the middle of the table but she was too scared to try her luck and reach over. Starting a combat session over some jam was not worth it.

The door to the house opened, cutting through their almost painful silence like a gunshot. Desa instinctively grabbed the dull silver knife in her right hand. After seeing that it was Mihram standing in the doorway, she forcefully relaxed her hold on the cutlery and leaned back.

"Don't bother knocking, just come right in won't you?" Aksel said without looking up from his journal.

Mihram scoffed as he slammed the door closed and made his way to their table, placing his hands on the back of a wooden chair. "I came here first thing in the morning to check if she had killed you in your sleep." Mihram said as he threw a look of disdain towards Desa. She was unbothered by his hatred, she was used to the alienation from the society.

"Well I am alive and well as you can see, now you can go and check if Rupert docked the ship for loading." Aksel said dismissing him.

As if Aksel hadn't said anything, Mihram swiped a single out of place strand on his short hair back in place and then pulled back the chair he was holding to sit. "Don't you think we have more important matters to attend to than loading the ship?" He said not so subtly signalling at Desa with his head.

Desa just continued eating her eggs and biting into her toast as she looked back and forth between Aksel and Mihram.

Aksel looked up from his journal for the first time since they had sat down for breakfast. The windows at  his back were illuminating the strands of his hair a deep blue, almost black but not quite and half of his face contoured by the early morning light made him look like a marble statue carved by the most talented forest sprites.

Desa just raised her hand and waved it as if to say hello.

That broke their intense stare and Aksel resumed writing stuff down in his journal. "She is not our problem Mihram, she's my problem. And I will deal with it." Sound of Aksel calling Desa 'his' made a single butterfly flutter in her chest. Sure he had called her a problem but that wasn't important. She already knew she was a problem. Now she was Aksel's problem.

"Why won't you accept my help, we can find whoever it was that sent her and make them pay. Let me help you, they tried to kill you for high fae's sake and you're treating this like a joke." Mihram yelled.

Aksel sighed deeply and then looked up at Mihram, "I don't want you to get dragged into whatever this is." He said as he gestured loosely towards the jam and honey jars sitting at the table.

Appalled, Mihram threw his hands up, "You don't get to make that choice for me. I want to have your back. Stop protecting me, and let me protect you for once."

It was hard to watch their back and forth so Desa looked down at her plate and played around with her eggs, her appetite gone now. It must be nice to have someone that was willing to go to these lengths to help you even at the threat of death and Desa admired Mihram for it even as she envied Aksel.

Aksel didn't reply as he got up from his chair and looked at Desa, "I need to ask you some questions."

Desa nodded, it was obvious they would try to find out who had sent her, so she was waiting for when the questions would finally start. Aksel made his way to the armchair he had sat in yesterday and then signalled to the other armchair with his hand. Desa got up from the table and sat in the armchair, Mihram settling in on the couch.

Aksel opened his leather journal, placing it on his thigh as he crossed his legs and looked up at her.

"I'm going to start simple, who sent you?" Aksel asked as both males turned their gazes to her.

As simple as the question seemed, the answer was not as easy, "Can't say." She replied. Mihram scowled at her obvious lack of answer while Aksel seemed untroubled by it.

Aksel wrote something down on his journal and then looked back up again. "What were you told to do?"

Desa swiped a hand across her forehead, they were not going to be happy by the end of this, she could feel it, "I can't admit to it." She vaguely tried to convey with the limited words she could use without triggering the enchantment. She was forbidden from saying incriminating words against herself so she wouldn't get caught.

Again, Aksel wrote something down in his journal and if it was even possible, the frown on Mihram's face deepened.

"She's purposefully not answering any of your questions, she doesn't want to give away any information. What more do you need to realise she's the enemy?" Mihram said.

Desa sighed, the frustration of not being able to talk freely was really making her angry. She threw her head back against the armchair, "I can't answer what you want from me directly" she said and then looked at Aksel, her gaze intense, "Ask the right questions." She demanded.

"What does that even mean?" Mihram said exasperatedly but Desa's gaze was on Aksel, she was willing him to understand that she couldn't speak freely.

Aksel looked back in his journal and ponder for a minute, then he uncrossed his legs and leaned forward towards the edge of the coffee table between them.

"Were you sent to kill me?" He asked. She could have sighed from the relief, he had understood. Even if she couldn't admit to it verbally, she could still nod her head.

Mihram clapped his hand and then rose up suddenly, "She admitted to trying to kill you! See, she is bad."

"Mihram sit down." Aksel said as he wrote her answer down in his journal. Mihram reluctantly sat back down on the couch but it didn't escape Desa's notice that he now sat farther away from her.

"Do you want to kill me?" Aksel asked.

Desa said, "No." she could answer this question with no problem.

"So someone is forcing you to do this?" Aksel asked.

She nodded again in yes. Well this was going better than she could've hoped, no one had bothered to stop and talk to her while she was trying to kill them. Most just approached her with the cynicism that Mihram showed. Which she couldn't blame them for, if someone came out of nowhere trying to stab them, she would hardly try to talk to them about their motives either.

Aksel leaned back in his chair. A slight crease between his brows was the only sign of his concentration as he pondered her questions. "Someone blackmailing you? Is that why you can't talk? Do they have someone you care about?"

"No it's not like that. I can't tell you exactly how they make me do it but I have no control over it." Desa replied. She swiped her now dry hair behind her right shoulder, Aksel was watching her every movement and it made her conscious of her tiniest move.

"How are they making her do this? I still think she is lying to get away with her actions. Nothing can make you kill someone without your consent, except holding someone hostage or blackmail which she said is not the case." Mihram said, he was more relaxed now as he lounged back on the couch with one arm draped over the arm rest. Desa looked down to see the two knifes Mihram had taken out of her boots strapped to his belt. She forced away the urge to roll her eyes at the sight.

"I think something else is at play here." Aksel said as he absentmindedly trailed a finger across his lower lip. It was hard to look away from his soft stubble covered chin and thin but red lips. She averted her gaze, this was not the right time to fantasise about his big hands holding her to him and capturing her mouth in a scorching kiss. Even as she chastised herself for it, she crossed her legs to smother the tingle that had started.

"Is it like a spell? A potion?" Aksel asked as he looked first at her crossed legs and then her face again, did he know the effect he had on her? Did all the females feel that? That was not what he asked. Desa's mind begrudgingly backtracked to re-think his question.

"Uhm no. If you are talking about those knick knack potions and spells goblins sometime sell in Thornsville, those are not it. Those create illusions, short lasting effects like changing hair colours, physical appearance, create a rainbow, smoke shows or cause little infatuations on the users. What I have is long lasting. Even if I could tell you what it is, I don't know how-" her tongue got all twisted as she tried to tell Sontarro's name. She took a deep breath to shake off the rising annoyance. "I don't know how he did it." She lamely finished.

Mihram looked confused as ever and Aksel was writing down in his journal again. In the silence Mihram leaned forward, "But you are under something that makes you lose control?" He asked skeptically.

"Yes." Desa answered. A tiny sliver of hope started to rise in her chest, maybe Mihram was starting to believe her too.

"How long?" Aksel asked.

Desa tilted her head in confusion. "How long what?"

"How long have you been like this?" He asked, his full attention back on her. Desa didn't know why he would want to know that. It had nothing to do with him and finding out who was trying to assassinate him. But she replied nonetheless.

"Twelve years." She said quietly. It was weird saying it out-loud. She usually did her utmost to not think about anything she had no control over. But admitting it... the fact that she had been nothing more than a puppet, a slave for twelve years crashed her into reality like a brick wall. The edges of her vision darkened and she had to grip the armrest to stop the room from spinning. Her life was not hers. Someone was saying something but Desa was still trying to gain some semblance of control over her breathing.

"Desa?" The ringing in her ears went away as Aksel's voice broke through.

"Yeah?" She said looking up but her eyes took a moment to focus. When she realised her voice sounded rough she cleared her throat. "Sorry I didn't hear the last question."

Aksel's gaze had softened as he looked at her and she did everything in her power to not look directly at him because she was used to the hatred, to the pain. This compassion, understanding... she didn't know what to do with it. She somehow knew that one good look at Aksel looking at her like that would crumble her and she refused to fall apart.

"How old were you?" He asked as soft as his gaze.

"Nine. I was nine years old when he found me." Desa replied just as quietly as she stared at the wooden cabinet on the corner of the room. The burning and the following year on the streets running and stealing was bad, but not as bad as when he had walked into her life. If only she had known better than to trust him. Now at twenty one, she had nothing to show for her false placed trust.

Silence ensued as all three of them settled under the heavy pressure that had built. Desa was slipping back into painful memories and as soon as she noticed it, she raised both of her hands to rake her fingers through her hair. "Any more questions?" She smiled a bright smile looking between Mihram and Aksel. Mihram was frowning again and Aksel looked like he could see straight through her smile and how fake it was. Desa tried to make the smile reach her eyes but it miserably failed.

Thankfully neither of the males pushed her on it and Aksel continued asking and writing in his journal, "Can you in anyway lead us to or identify the person responsible?"

Desa shook her head, "No." she really was a puppet with no way to show them who was controlling her strings.

Mihram looked at Aksel, "Let's say she is telling the truth," Mihram turned his head to cast a look at Desa, "Which I'm still not fully convinced we should. She can't tell us who is responsible. How are we going to even find them? She's useless."

They were bound to reach that conclusion eventually, she couldn't help them with the threat. That was exactly what she had tried to tell them. Their best bet was to go far away or kill her. Best case scenario was both of those options at the same time.

"I'm sorry I can't be of help much. It's physically impossible for me." Desa said as she rubbed where her right pinkie should be. The ugly little stump jutting off of her last knuckle was not pretty. She rarely thought of her physical appearance, because she rarely went out in public but being in the presence of others, especially Aksel was making her conscious of herself. She had so many short comings.

"You're not useless." Aksel said, making her raise her eyes from her lost digit and looking at him. The determination she saw in his grey eyes took her breath away, his silver eyes didn't waver from hers for one second, leaving no room for her to wriggle in any doubts.

Mihram interrupted their stare, "Then how are we supposed to find them? With a not helpful assassin who is, might I add, still trying to kill you?"

"She is not trying to kill me on purpose." Aksel said vehemently.

"Doesn't change the fact that she's trying to kill you." Muttered Mihram.

Aksel sighed as he looked back at his journal, reading through his notes. Mihram waited a couple minutes but the silence became too much for him as he persisted. "What do you plan on doing Ax?"

Aksel leaned back in his chair and said, "There are not that many people who can control a person like this, limiting their speech and actions. If we can find what she is under, we can find out who wants to kill me."

That seemed like a good way to limit their bets and she was pleasantly surprised to feel a ray of hope warming her chest. Maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't have to suffer anymore. She wouldn't have to deal with this on her own.

"Until we can figure out what it is, I'm not letting you leave my sight." Aksel said as his gray eyes bore into her.

Yep, this was going to be hard.

What another update?

Ah pish posh I am pampering myself yes.

Love to hear your thoughts as always ❤️

Thanks for reading!