John opened his mouth to say something but lacked the words. He closed his mouth again and just nodded his head.

Angelique mimicked his action of nodding and moved on to take a seat in the back row of chairs. Rev. O'Bryan had entered the room, dressed in his vestments, a prayer book in hand. His presence, a signal to all present to take a seat as services were about to begin.

Soon after, they left in procession to the cemetery to Francis McDougal's final resting-place. Angelique couldn't understand why John had cremated his Father when he planned a Christian burial for him, but she assumed money must be tight and they couldn't afford to purchase a casket.

Rev. O'Bryan said one last prayer and then invited everyone on behalf of the family back to the church hall for refreshments. They took their flowers and laid them by the tombstone, saying their last goodbyes.

"How are you holding up?" Rev. O'Bryan asked, looking over Angelique. She looked physically drained.

Toying with the small gold cross that lay on a thin gold chain about her neck, she smiled. "I'm fine."

He had been looking after her since her discovery. The round bearded face with spectacles that rested on the tip of his nose became one of familiarity. Since he took her in he had become her father figure. She hardly knew what she'd have done without him.

At age sixteen, John, his brother, and another boy named Danny Caldwell found her in the woods. Just thinking about Danny again sent shivers down her spine. The three boys had been hunting when they stumbled upon her. She had almost gotten herself killed in the process of her discovery.

Another shiver shimmied down her back. "Are you cold?" Rev. O'Bryan asked, lending her his sweater.

"Thank you," she told him, pulling her arms through the oversized cardigan. That day still haunted her dreams. Eight years had passed, and she still had no recollection of her actual name or where she came from.

John and Michael brought her to the Reverend. He exhausted every avenue he could to help her but with no success. Giving up, he adopted her. He named her Angelique O'Bryan. He chose Angelique because he said she had dropped from the heavens and into their lives.

Several hours had passed. The last of the guests had made their way out of the hall. Angelique started to clean up. So intent on her task, she jumped when John spoke while standing behind her.

"Angel, I need to talk to you. Alone. Tonight. Are you free?"

Placing her hand on her pounding heart, she tried to calm herself. Although she couldn't decipher which scared her more, John's actions or his words. "I am supposed to work tonight at the shelter," Angelique began.

John's jaw immediately clamped shut. "Forget I asked," John told her through clenched teeth.

Before he could storm off, Angelique grabbed his arm. John looked down at her fingers splayed across his forearm. "You didn't allow me to finish. I called to arrange a replacement for tonight. It means I will have to work a double shift tomorrow, but I wanted to be here for you today."

John exhaled. He ran his fingers through his short sandy blond hair, which went right back into place. "I'm sorry. It's just I'm at my wit's end here, Angel, and I don't have the tolerance to share you with others tonight. I do need you, but there is something I need to talk to you about first."

Angelique's blue eyes misted over. He needed her. Well, she'd do whatever it took. Listen to whatever he had to say. "Let me finish cleaning up here," she told him, waving her hand to encompass the whole of the auditorium, "and then I'll meet you at your place in the city. We can talk there. I'm sure you want time with Michael before you go."

"He told you then?"

Angelique wasn't sure if he meant Michael or Rev. O'Bryan by his question, but answered anyway. "Yes, he told me Michael would move in with him in the rectory. I think it's for the best. Michael won't be alone, and when he's ready to talk, there is no ear more sympathetic than my father's."

John nodded. Until now, he hadn't realized how much he wanted her approval of his decision not to take Michael to live with him. He thought it would be best, too. Michael only had one more year of high school left. It seemed cruel to uproot him now and make him start over somewhere else in the fall. Michael would have lost his scholarship, too, and although John had the potential to make more money, he wouldn't have it soon enough to keep Michael's education going.

Glancing at his watch, John mentally calculated when he'd be seeing her again. "How's nine o'clock sound?"

"Perfect," Angelique said, smiling up at him.

John wanted to hold her, kiss her like he had many times before, but restrained himself. Smiling back, he just patted her hand that still rested on his arm, turned, and walked away.

His lack of emotion perplexed, Angelique. She didn't know what to make of it. She could count on both hands the number of times they shared their space with a touch over the past two weeks. Watching his retreating figure, she shrugged. Well, whatever he needs to say, she'll be hearing it tonight. She only hoped that nagging voice in her head, warning her of danger, was wrong.

Angelique ran up the stairs to John's apartment. Not wishing to wait for the elevator and knowing she somehow ended up fifteen minutes late despite all her efforts to be on time. Before she even knocked, the door swung open, and he pulled her inside.

Angelique let out an excited yelp which became smothered under a kiss as John's lips took possession of her own. His embrace tightened around her, holding her close, and she melted into him.

"Shh!" he whispered against her lips, "We have to be quiet my girlfriend is due here any minute."

Angelique giggled. "When are you going to dump that witch and run away with me?" she teased. She couldn't believe her good fortune. John had returned to her.

"Your offer is tempting," he told her, "but where would we go?"

"Paris, of course," Angelique said without a moment's hesitation.

"Paris, why Paris?" John asked, grinning.

Angelique stood on her tippy toes and threw her arms around his neck. "Because silly, it is the city of light and love. It's where all secret lovers should go?" She giggled again as he squeezed her tight. 

"You're right, of course. We should leave at once, but first, how about a drink to toast our brilliant plan?" John took hold of Angelique's hand and led her over to his leather sofa.

Angelique took the time to gaze around the room as she noted he had changed the place into a scene for seduction. The night air held a chill which John warded off with several candles and a lit fireplace. A bottle of wine sat chilled in a bucket of ice on the table, and two crystal glasses danced in the flickering candlelight. Sitting her down on the sofa, he picked up the remote, and smooth jazz music played a soulful tune.

She wondered what had taken place that changed John so completely. He almost seemed like his old self, only there still lurked that wariness in his eyes. Once again, Angelique tried to stamp out her intuition that a trap had been set and it had caught her in its snares.

"A toast!" John said, filling both glasses and sitting beside her. "To finding adventure wherever we can."

Angelique clinked her glass against his and took a sip of the delicious fruity wine. She rarely drank, but the wine had a delightful taste with a slight carbonation that tickled her nose before it slid down her throat.

"Do you remember the picnic we had in Central Park last summer?" John asked, moving next to her and leaning her back to rest on his outstretched arm.

"How could I forget?" Angelique said, smiling as she twisted the stem of the glass and watched how the candlelight reflected off of it. "You asked me to marry you."

"And you turned me down, you heartless woman," John teased.

Angelique shifted her position so she could see his face. "I did no such thing! You said you wanted to marry, but we would have to wait until you could afford a ring. Even though I told you I didn't need one," she said with a slight pout, before snuggling in close to him again.

"What if I told you I could make it all happen?" John asked, suddenly serious.

Angelique's eyebrows drew together in confusion. "Make what happen?"

"Us," John told her, "the engagement, marriage, hell even a trip to Paris if you really want to go."

Placing her glass on the coffee table, Angelique sat up straight as a board. "How? What do you mean?"

John smiled at her. "I have received a job offer from a very prestigious law firm. Within five years, Angel, I know I could make partner. I have worked so hard to get this far, it would be nothing to invest a little more time."

"Oh, John, that's wonderful!" Angelique threw her arms around him. "You've wanted this for so long. I told you, you could do it!"

"I should never have doubted you," John said.

Angelique picked up her glass again. "Well, that is news that deserves a toast. To the most wonderful man in the world, who is finally getting the rewards he so truly deserves. The up-and-coming partner of the firm..."

"Caldwell, Berkley, and Klein," John filled in.

At that moment, Angelique's heart plummeted with the glass that slipped from her fingers and came crashing to the floor. John jumped out of the way of the splashing liquid.

Devastated, Angelique pleaded, "John, you can't."

So much for prayers, John thought bitterly. He knew it would come down to this.

"Angel, think of the possibilities," John proposed leaving the couch to grab a towel from his kitchenette. "We could finally have the life we always dreamed of. You could have the family you always wanted."

Tears sprung to her eyes. He had no intention of playing fair, she could see that now. Her own family? But at what price?

"John, you don't know these people as I know them. Many of the families on the blocks surrounding St. Gabriel's have been forced from their homes. Mom and Pop stores after fifty years of service made to close their doors forever. Even some of the children and families that show up at my shelter have been put there thanks to Caldwell, Berkley, and Klein."

"No, they end up at St. Gabriel's because they couldn't afford their lifestyle anymore. If they can't pay for the properties, what would you have them do? Allow them to live there for free? Even if they wanted to, the firm couldn't let them. It's not their decision. Progressive Properties is a large client of the firm and they have rights too, you know?" John said tossing the towel aside after sopping up the wine and scooping up the broken pieces of glass.

Angelique looked at John, appalled. "How could say that? How could you agree that forcing these people from their homes is the right thing to do? Have you forgotten what it felt like to lose your home, forced into a circumstance, not of your own making?"

She struck a cord but not the one she had wanted to hit. She hoped that reminding him of what he and his family went through when the mortgage company foreclosed on their home would make him realize how wrong it was, instead she only struck his anger.

"My father had lost his home because he had lost his job and so on ... Don't you understand that those are the exact situations I am trying to avoid having my family experience? What about Michael? Do you realize what this money could mean to him? His education? Or don't you care what happens to my little brother?"

"Of course I care!" Angelique's voice raised, her anger getting the better of her. "But if you think it's money Michael wants, you're dead wrong! There's more to life than the Almighty Dollar! Money isn't everything!" 

"You're right, it isn't everything. It doesn't have to be everything. It only has to be something, which we all know is better than nothing. I know what nothing feels like and I want more out of life," John stated, standing up and turning his back on her as he leaned against the fireplace mantel.

Angelique pressed her fingertips against her lips to keep the sob from escaping, but the tears flowed freely down her cheeks. She couldn't ignore the warning bells that rang louder than the church chimes on Sunday in her head. She knew what came next, just as she knew she would be powerless to make it stop.

John turned back to her. His jade eyes were cold, his features set in granite. He would not yield. If she did not agree to stand by him and his choice, then he had only one thing left to say, "I already told them I'd take the job. I start Monday. I had hoped that it would mean a new beginning for us... instead of an end."

Angelique shook her head in denial of his words as the tears dropped onto her pale pink blouse. "Please. Please, don't do this. Don't throw us away. We belong together."

John took her hand and pulled her into his arms, no longer able to stand the pain so visible in her eyes. "I thought so too," he soothed, stroking her hair, as she sobbed against his chest.

Pulling her away from him. He held her at arm's length. "But we were wrong. We've grown up and in doing so, we now want different things. No one will know me as well as you do, but I can't live my life in your fantasy world, where everything and everyone is good and kind. For me, that world doesn't exist. It has never existed."

Angelique stared at him. She could feel the connection to him being severed. Replacing itself with an immense emptiness. "Never?" she asked in disbelief, "Not even when we're together?"

John's hands dropped to his sides, and Angelique shivered from the lack of his warmth.

"Not even then," he lied. "I thought we were meant to be together. That we would have a family together, but it appears it's not meant to be. I'm sorry."

"No. No, you're wrong," Angelique reached out for him again but he only turned his back on her once more and she pulled her hand back. "I love you. I have always loved you and I always will love you. That has to mean something?" Angelique asked desperately.

"You're right it should, but it doesn't," John said refusing to look at her, "because I can't love you. Not anymore."

Angelique's heart broke into a million tiny shards as her crystal glass had moments ago. Her entire world came to a screeching halt. Her chest constricted so tightly that she found it hard to breathe.

John couldn't bear to witness her look of devastation. He refused to look at her. Too afraid he'd cave in and give up this opportunity that meant so much to him. It meant more than financial security, but he couldn't find the words to make it right. He didn't wish to be so cruel but knew he had to be if he were to let her go. He had to make her understand, no matter how she felt towards him. If she couldn't stand by his decision, then there is no second chance. They were finished.

He hoped by making it a clean break he'd be released from the hold she held over him. Life has dealt them both a nasty blow and their once bright future has now been extinguished. He wanted her free to live her life and not pining away thinking "What if?" It had to be this way.

He didn't hear her move across the room. The only indication he had that she left came from the finality of his door closing behind her. The sound echoed in his ears and he knew it would haunt his dreams.

"What have I done?"

Every nerve in his body screamed for him to run after her, but he didn't make a move. Paralyzed by his choice that left him utterly alone.

"Why couldn't she understand?"

She wanted more than he could give. He has already sacrificed more than he had for those that he loved, but giving up Angelique was by far the worst. "I'll love you forever, my Angel. I'm so sorry I hurt you, but you left me no other choice."