"It changes nothing,"Donovan said, as they stood at the entrance to the school.

Carter looked at him and nodded.

"It changes nothing," she repeated.

He nodded to the parking lot and she and Link followed. The sun had made more breakthroughs in the clouds, sending patches of light onto the city. The trio moved through the rows of cars and stopped beside the Mercedes. They climbed in, Donovan started the engine and looked over at her.

"Where to?" he asked.  

"The Sofitel hotel. It's in Lafayette Square," she said.

They broke free of the line of cars and headed for the heart of D.C. The monuments looked like white beacons against the gray sky. Passing the White House, Carter instinctively glanced in the rearview mirror at Link. His gaze was focused on the opposite window, but his jaw flexed once.

They pulled to a stop at the hotel's entrance. Around them, tall buildings crowded the sidewalks, pressed up against each other, pedestrians in coats moving with determined steps. Carter reached for the door, but Donovan's question stopped her.

"Do you want us to wait?"

She looked back, but didn't respond. Donovan read her hesitation and glanced back at Link.

"You want to get something to eat?" he asked.

Link gave a careless shrug. "Sure, I know a place around here."

Carter gave them both small smile. "Thank you...for everything."

Donovan nodded and Carter stepped out of the car, shut the door and watched as it fell back into traffic. A sense of calm came over her as she looked up at the hotel. She headed for the main entrance and pushed through the revolving door.

A lavish lobby was laid out before her: black and white patterned carpet covering the floor, high backed couches lining the walls, a front desk of gray stone topped with glass. Everything about it spoke of money. Just beyond the entrance was a doorway that led to a low lit restaurant and bar.

Carter paused when she spotted her mother sitting on a barstool, in her hand a half empty glass of amber liquid. For a moment, Carter just stared, studying her. She felt a twinge of pain in her chest but the original anger did not make an appearance.

As Carter moved through the tables, her mother noticed her and froze. Carter stopped before her, her face even. Her mother's hand went to her necklace, seeking comfort. Carter slid her hands into her pockets, her eyes dropping to the pendant. Her mother lowered her hand.

"I didn't think I would see you again," she said.

Carter gave a single nod. "I know."

"How did you know where I was staying?" she asked, groping for something to say.

"I called around."

Her mother's put together persona was cracking, showing nerves. Carter stared at her with an even gaze, feeling as if she were truly seeing her for the first time. Something about seeing her mother so unnerved by her sudden presence put Carter at ease.

"So, why are you here?" her mother finally asked.

Carter took a deep breath as if bracing herself for what she was about to say.

"You wanted to explain to me why you did what you did, well now you can," she said.

Surprise darted through her mother's face and she opened her mouth but nothing came out. Carter continued to look at her, all the anger she had felt the previous day now a dull ache in her chest. Her mother regained her composure and gave Carter a small hopeful smile.

"Alright," she said. "Do you want to sit down?"

"Sure."

Her mother's ordered another drink. When the glass was in her hand, her mother turned to Carter. Carter said nothing but looked at her without any emotion. Her biting comments and vengeful thoughts were silent. All she could see before her was a woman who needed a drink to help her make it through the past.

"Where do you want me to start?" her mother asked.

"That's up to you," Carter said, her voice detached.

Her mother nodded but seemed at a loss.

"Well," she said, her voice hesitant. "You know how in college your father and I were together. Then you came along, which was...unexpected. I was studying to be a journalist and..."

Carter remained silent as her mother made her way through the story that Carter already knew. Behind the words of the story, she heard the lost, hopeless feelings that had plagued her mother at suddenly becoming a mother, losing the future she thought she was going to have and having to change it all around.

As she talked on Carter began to really see the woman who had raised her. The woman who was scared of failure and chose to take the easy way out. The woman who couldn't bear the weight of parenthood any more and found the door. The explanation for her leaving was a vague need to chase her career. Carter barely heard the words, only knowing the emotion behind it, selfishness.

With this realization the weight of her own guilt that it had been, in some way, her fault was lifted. It fell to its rightful owner, the woman before her. The woman that even as she spoke of leaving her daughter was looking for understanding and sympathy. 

Her mother ended her narrative, with tears building in her eyes. Carter remained silent, digesting the truth. The truth that the love and strength in the family had always come from her father. He had been the heart of the family. Even when her mother left. That never changed.

Her mother shifted in her chair, every inch of her begging for Carter to say something. She took the half-empty glass and swallowed the rest of the contents. Carter stayed in her thoughts for a moment longer, the truth about who her mother really was solidifying in her mind. Slowly she uncrossed her arms, the simple gesture seeming to take away some of her mother's anxiety. She still didn't speak.

"Say something?" her mother said, her fingers tightening around the glass as if holding it that way she could hold herself together.

Carter shrugged, the gesture completely devoid of emotion. The ache in her chest still remained but it didn't burden her as it used to. A part of her wanted a mother, but another part of her knew that this woman was never going to be it.

"You have nothing to say?" her mother asked as if astounded by this.

Carter didn't reply for a second.

"I do have one thing to say," she said.

Her mother nodded as if gearing herself up for what was to come. Carter looked directly into her mother's eyes, studying the dark brown color. Shifting in her chair, her mother  tightened her hold on the glass, as if by clutching it tighter she could keep herself together.

"I needed you," Carter said, keeping her voice controlled. "I was a fourteen year old girl. I needed a mother to help me, to guide me." Heat rushed through her mother's face. "I needed you." A sad smile slipped across Carter's lips. "At least, I thought I needed you. Turns out, I didn't."

Her mother only stared at her, frozen in her seat.

Carter took a step back, her emotions tucked away. "If I ever want to see you again, I'll let you know. Goodbye, mother."

She walked away, not looking back. Not seeing her mother turn to the bartender and hold out her glass, shaking.

She pushed through the doors and into the night, relief slowly washing over her. She texted Donovan and waited by the curb, breathing in the evening air. The gray had drifted away with the sun and above her were the first dots of stars. The car pulled up a few minutes later, both guys studying her as she climbed in. Carter looked at both of them, her expression calm.

"Thanks for the ride," she said. "Mind taking me home?"

Relief loosened all three tongues as they drove Carter home, talking about school and listening as Link voiced his concerns over the party.

Her father sat on the couch, his computer balanced on his lap, when Carter rushed in, a new sense of urgency coming over her.

"Hey," he said. "It's later than usual. Where have you been?"

Carter didn't answer as she sank beside him and hugged him. He put an arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

"I love you, Captain," she said.

She looked up at him and he smiled, understanding passing between them.

"I love you too, Sarge," he said. "I'm not going anywhere."

She smiled, resting in the words.  "I know."

**********************************************************************

Lemon ice cream!
(I find this amusing become in ASC some people thought Lennon was Lemon and Lennon has a love for ice cream, so it's Lemon's ice cream! Haha! Sorry, got distracted. Onward ho!)

Holy jeepers that just happened! My brain is still buzzing with all of this!

She talked to her mother!! What are we thinking right now people? Tell me your thoughts because I can't find mine!

What did you think of the mother's reasoning for leaving?

(If you ask me I think it was pretty lame of her to just go because of her career!)

Final thoughts on the mother?

Do you agree with Carter's final decision?

How in love with Donovan and Link right now? (Give me the oddest measurement you can think of!)

Country?

(I know that seems weird but I have a world clock and I want to have all the different time zones in it and know which one you're in. Gosh it that weird?  🙈 I'm sorry, I just thought it would be cool to know)

Bagels or donuts?

(I'm always a fan of bagels over donuts, it doesn't feel right putting both butter and cream cheese on a donut)

A guy in a suit or a guy in casual?

(Oh that's a hard one 🤔....I think suit because then he can roll up the sleeves and give me the jacket.)

प्रशन समय (Hindi) This question is from that odd duck joymoment 😉: How much do you love your readers?

Answer: I don't think you could actually fully understand how much I truly love you. Or how much you brighten my day, no matter how hard it may be, when I see a read, vote or comment it makes me smile. Whether you're a silent reader or a really active reader, it doesn't matter, I love you completely! Haha...I'm kind of lost for words on how to describe what you mean to me. Please just know that in a hard time in my life, you have been a source of happiness! Thank you!

Vote, comment, follow, or really do whatever you want because you've already given me the support I need, you've read this chapter!

Remember, I flippin dolphins love you!

Yes, I'm aware they aren't dolphins but Killer Whales, still you get my meaning!