"What up?"
"Eh, nothing much"

I look at the time on my phone, seeing that's already ten o' two I open YouTube to listen to music. I scroll through my many playlists and click on one with a bunch of nightcore songs I had started listening to recently. As the first song begins, I adjust my ear buds.
Just as I go to set my phone down it vibrates and I see a message from Ash pop up. I take a deep breath as I click the message.

Ash: Hiiiii
Me: Hiiiiiii
Ash: dude I miss you so much
Me: I miss you too bestie
Ash: I miss having you at school and stuff
Me: I wish I were there
Ash: today was weird
Ash: A kid in my science class started a fight with another kid in the hallway after class
Me: oop-
Me: who were the kids?
Ash: The kid from my science class is new this year, but his name is Darrin

I stare at my phone for a moment, there's kids there now that I've never even met... I feel a pang of sadness and take a deep, shaky breath.

Ash: and the other kid was new last year and his name is Ryan

I think back to when I was at school there. I knew the name of nearly every student in our grade and many of the kids in the grades above and bellow us. Now there's kids I don't know but my friends do know.
I can feel my eyes begin to burn as I take in another shaky breath.

Me: dang
Ash: yeah idk what it was about but it was intense
Me: yikes

I haven't been there in over a year. I bet a lot has changed. What if I ever went back? I'd be like a new kid all over again. My mind is going a million miles a second as the thoughts darken and tears begin to stream down my face.
What if I went back and my friends have all new friends? Would they even want to hang out with me? I bite my lip softly in hopes of it helping me calm down.
I can no longer focus on the music that is being drowned out by the thudding of my heart and the sniffling as I try to hold back tears and keep my face from becoming a snotty mess.

Ash: I'm going to go listen to some music
Ash: I love you
Ash: Goodnight

I just stare at the messages through blurry tear filled eyes. Do they mean it? I quickly type a response, hoping that it's spelled right or that auto correct will take care of it because I can barely see the screen.

Me: Goodnight I love you too

My bottom jaw aches as it shakes as the crying gets worse. I attempt to sit up a little to help myself breathe better but I just end up getting tangled in my ear buds cord which just makes me cry more.
I attempt to take a deep breath but I become suddenly aware of the possible volume of my crying and close my mouth, not wanting to alert my mother of my crying. If my mother heard me crying she'd just yell at me, just like she did when we first moved here. She'd make it all my fault. Why can't I be happy for her? She would demand.
I can imagine my mother's voice as she yells at me to the point where she's crying and storms out of the room.
I curl up in the mess I've made with my blankets on my bed, crying and muffling the sound by biting my lower lip until it bleeds.