Chapter 4: Crush(ed)

Aside from the teasing from Phoenix, I managed to get through the week without much talk of my crush on Aaron. In fact, I rarely talked to Phoenix because I was too busy trying to figure out whether Aaron likes me or not. On Thursday, when I was leaving to go to the car, Aaron stopped me and smiled. "Um, Grace."

"Hey, Aaron," I greeted him.

"Are you busy this weekend?" he asked.

With furrowed eyebrows, I shook my head. "No, I don't think so. Why?" I felt my heart began to beat. Is he going to ask me out?

"I'm having a party," he began, "Tomorrow night- think you can make it?"

I pursed my lips before slowly nodding. "Yeah, I'll be there."

"Good," he nodded before smiling and walking away. My brother and sister slowly approached the car and I was sure I had a stupid smile on my face.

I was anticipating Friday night all of Thursday evening, and the entire day of Friday. When 8:30 rolled around, I got dressed and left through the front door. My brother's on a date with some girl, and my parents were both at work and would be until the morning. I made sure to lock the front door as I slipped outside.

"It's a little early to be leaving, isn't it?" a familiar voice asked. "I mean, the party doesn't start until nine o'clock."

I sighed as I held the doorknob in my hand. I slowly took out the key before turning around. "Are you stalking me or something, Phoenix?"

"Or something," he replied. "Now, do you want to tell me what you're doing outside at 8:30? In the dark?"

"Go away, Phoenix," I told him firmly.

"No," he responded. I slowly walked down the steps of the porch, shoving my hands in my hoodie pockets as I strolled in the direction of Aaron's house. "What? You're walking?" Phoenix asked in shock.

"No, I'm flying. I just have to grab my broomstick from the shed," I retorted sarcastically.

"Wait, Grace," Phoenix called out and I stopped, listening as his footfalls grew closer. "Why do you have to go to a party?"

"So I can hang out with Aaron," I told him bluntly as he stood in front of me.

"No, I mean, why can't he be half decent and ask you out on a proper date?" Phoenix asked.

"I don't know, and I don't care," I responded as I attempted to sidestep him. He simply moved alongside me.

"Look, all I'm saying is that maybe he isn't as nice as you think he is—," Phoenix began.

"Phoenix," I started. "Move."

"Grace," he spoke.

"I'm sick of you acting like you own me. I'm going to this party, and I'm going to hang out with Aaron," I told him bluntly. When I moved this time, he didn't move with me.

"Wait!" he called again and I sighed in frustration as I whipped around. He was standing a foot away from me. "At least let me give you a ride." I stared at him before glancing towards the house we were standing in front of. His familiar car was parked in the driveway. I turned to look at him and he stared back at me with a small smirk. "So can I?" I didn't bother to respond; I walked to the passenger's side of the car and yanked open the door.

"Have you kissed him yet?" Phoenix asked me after I told him Aaron's address. I immediately turned to look at him with a shocked look on my face. "Aaron, I mean."

"No!" I hissed. "Why would you ask that?"

"I'm just wondering," he shrugged, waiting a few seconds before speaking again. "So you haven't had your second kiss yet?"

I glared at him. "I haven't even had my first kiss yet."

"Ouch, that hurts," he exclaimed as he put a hand over his chest. "Don't act like our kiss didn't mean anything."

"We were eleven," I told him. "You were dared to do it."

"That doesn't mean it didn't happen," he responded. "And that doesn't mean you didn't like it."

"If I don't count it as my first kiss, then I obviously didn't like it," I retorted. "And I ran out of the room and rinsed my mouth with scalding water. I even burned my tongue trying to rid my lips of your spit."

"Come on, it wasn't that bad," he responded.

"You basically attacked my face," I told him.

"I'm a much better kisser now," he winked. I rolled my eyes and he smirked. "I can show you if you'd like."

"No thanks, Phoenix," I retorted in disgust.

"One day, you're going to want to kiss me," he smirked, earning a scoff.

"No, I won't," I scowled.

"Okay, fine, but when that day comes, I'm not going to kiss you unless you ask me to," he responded.

"I will never ask you to kiss me because I don't want to kiss you," I told him. He laughed while I just sighed, watching as we pulled to a stop in front of Aaron's house. "So, you're leaving now, right?"

"No, I'm going in," he responded as if I'd asked the stupidest question. "I'm not going to let something happen to you on my watch."

"Can you at least give us some privacy?" I hissed as Phoenix got out of the car, opening the door for me.

"Privacy?" Phoenix asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"Yes, privacy," I responded.

"Why would I do that?" he asked.

"Because I don't want a shadow everywhere I go. It's embarrassing and unnecessary. Aaron is a nice guy and he won't try anything," I told Phoenix.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Okay, but no bedrooms."

My face immediately reddened and my eyes widened. "I-I-what-I-you-I," I stuttered. "Why would you assume that?"

"Aaron's a player, everyone knows that," he retorted, not even phased by the thought. "And you're head over heels in love with him. Who knows what would happen if you two were left alone?"

"I don't love him," I snapped immediately.

"Sure you don't," Phoenix responded. "You've only liked him for three years."

"Two and a quarter," I responded.

"So? What's the difference?" he asked. Three quarters.

"I don't love him," I told Phoenix. "I just like him. And I wouldn't do that. I have more respect for myself."

"I'm not saying you don't. When you like someone, you'd do things to impress them. And I wouldn't put it past him to pressure you into doing something you don't want to do," Phoenix noted as we reached the porch.

I glared at him. "Listen, Phoenix, Aaron is a nice guy. He wouldn't do that. Maybe you shouldn't make assumptions about people you don't know," I snapped before disappearing into the crowded house, not bothering to hold the door for him.

+ + +

We were in Aaron's room and he was showing me his trophies, which I asked to see because he seemed so interested in them. I honestly had no clue that they were in his bedroom. I just know that Phoenix looked absolutely horrified when he saw me following Aaron out of the living room. The golden trophies lined several shelves and he stared at them with a look of pure happiness written on his face. I was too busy looking at the other aspects of his room. I remember his favorite color being grey, so the fact that his room was decked in the color didn't surprise me very much.

I will admit that he does talk about sports a lot, and it'd be better if I actually understood what he was saying, but I don't, and I can't exactly say much without sounding like a complete imbecile. All I can do is nod and smile, which is enough to satisfy him. And like our conversations before, I found ways to change the subject.

The conversation slowly died and he immediately looked nervous, biting his lip as he looked at me. "I have to ask you a question," he informed me. I suddenly grew nervous, wondering what the question could possibly be. I stared at him with furrowed eyebrows, thinking about the potential questions he could ask.

"Okay, ask away," I nodded as I tucked my hands in my pants pockets.

"I've been meaning to ask you this for a long time," he started and I stared at him nervously. Is he going to ask me out again? But this time, maybe he'll call it a date! What if he asks me to be his girlfriend? Don't get too ahead of yourself, Grace. "Is your sister seeing anyone?" It took me a moment to comprehend what he was asking. I tried my best to control my facial expression as I let out a pained chuckle.

My sister? He's been talking to me this entire time to ask me about my sister? "N-no, I don't think so," I managed to say, despite the fact that I felt a lump forming in my throat.

Two and a quarter years of liking a guy only to be shot down and then asked about my sister.

A month of talking to him, thinking I was getting somewhere, to learn that he was actually only after my sister.

"Do you think you can give her my number?" Aaron asked curiously, rocking back and forth on his feet. I stared at the slightly excited expression on his face and for some reason, I found myself nodding, despite the blow my ego just took. I felt like my heart was crushed like a car in a scrap yard, and the air was knocked out of me.

"Yeah, yeah, of course," I nodded, trying to hide the sadness in my voice.

"I'll just write it down. Girls feel less pressured to call when they're given the number on paper. It's less intimidating, you know?" he rambled. I nodded, watching as he walked over towards his desk, grabbing a pen and scribbling on a sticky note. "Do you think she'll be interested in me?" he inquired.

"Who wouldn't?" I managed to pipe despite the growing lump in my throat. I was trying my best not to run out of the room. He handed me the paper.

"You're right," he smiled. "Thanks, Gracelyn."

I just nodded before pointing to the door. "I'm going to go. I'm tired," I blurted before walking towards his bedroom door, not even listening for a 'bye' as I exited. I basically ran through the hallway and down the steps. The moment I was outside, tears began to fall from my eyes. I wanted to slap myself. I'm so stupid for crying over him, for thinking that he'd actually like me, that I'd have a chance. I've liked him for so long. I should've gotten over him a long time ago. Maybe Phoenix was right. I didn't have a chance to begin with.

I walked down the dark street, trying to stop the tears from falling by pressing on my eyes with heavy palms. By the time I reached the corner, they weren't stopping and I was left standing there like an idiot as sobs racked my body.

"Grace? Where are you going?" a familiar voice asked. I sighed as I turned away from the street, where Phoenix's car was idling. I continued to walk, turning the corner hastily to try and escape him.

"Home," I grunted, trying to make it sound like I wasn't crying. I swallowed down a sob, blinking heavily to try and stop the tears yet again.

"What happened?" Phoenix asked me curiously. I had to stop walking again as the tears began to blur my vision. I began to vigorously wipe them away.

"Just go away," I managed to say as I stood there.

"I'll bring you home, just get in the car, Grace," he informed me. "I'm not going to let you walk home in the dark."

"It doesn't matter what you'll let me do," I retorted, swallowing down another sob. I put my hand over my mouth to muffle a cry as it escaped.

"Look at you, you're shivering. Just get in the car," he responded. I just stood there, wiping my eyes as I faced away from him. Only seconds later, I heard a sigh, followed by the sound of a car door opening. Phoenix put his hand on my shoulder and spun me around. His eyebrows furrowed when he saw my red eyes and my tearstained cheeks. "Are you crying?" he asked with furrowed eyebrows.

I simply ducked my head and stared at the ground, trying to blink away the tears. "What happened?" he asked. I went to speak but I ended up sobbing, so I immediately covered my mouth and shook my head. Phoenix seemed to understand because he didn't say anything else. Instead, he surprised me by pulling me into a hug. Normally, I would've shoved him away and made a comment about having to burn my clothes now that he touched them, but I didn't. Instead, I found comfort in his embrace. I buried my head in his chest and allowed him to hold me tightly in his arms.

+ + +

I had been in my room for basically two days; I only left at night to get food. I was no longer crying, but staring at the wall, attempting to read, or watching television. I just didn't want to see anyone. I was too embarrassed. My family took turns knocking on the door, and my mother came in once or twice to make sure that I was okay. Other than those occasions, I was left alone. I guess they understood...until Sunday evening.

A heavy knock sounded from my door and I sighed as I stared at the wall. "Go away!" I called. It couldn't be my parents; they were out running errands. Avery has a very quiet knock. It must be Leo. The knock persisted and, after two straight minutes, I began to grow annoyed. "I said go away!"

"Not until you open the door," a familiar voice called. My face immediately reddened. There's no way I'm opening the door.

"If you're here to say 'I told you so,' you're too late! Leo beat you to it!" I called. I guess, after I ran in the house crying, Phoenix summed up what had happened to my brother; I ran out of Aaron's house crying and he chased me. He probably put two and two together and figured that it was something Aaron had done.

"I'm not going to say that," he responded as he continued to knock on the door.

"Go away, Phoenix!" I called. Not only am I embarrassed about crying like an idiot, but I'm embarrassed about allowing Phoenix to hug me. If I leave my room, or let him come in, he won't let me live it down. I know it for a fact because he's done it before. Take our kiss in the fifth grade for example. It was a dare, and it caught me off guard, and he still doesn't let me live it down. And on Friday, I allowed him to hug me. I even hugged him back. In fact, I was comfortable in his arms. There is no way I'm going to ever live that down.

"Open the door, Grace," he responded as he continued to abuse my door. I was lying in my bed, wrapped in a bundle of blankets like a burrito. I reached over, unraveling my blanket burrito, and grabbed my shoe. I threw it at the door, listening as Phoenix's knocks grew louder.

"Go away," I hissed.

"All I want is to talk to you for two minutes," he responded. I sighed and got out of bed, wrapping myself completely with my blankets. I walked over to the door and unlocked it before turning and heading back towards my sanctum. I crawled onto the bed, facing away from Phoenix.

"What?" I muttered as I stared at the wall.

"You've been in here for two days," he told me in a quiet tone. I stared at the floor, slightly surprised at the kindness in his voice.

"Yeah, I have," I responded. "I should know. I'm the one that's been in here."

"Aren't you hungry?" he asked me.

"I've been eating," I replied as I snuggled deeper in my blankets.

"Yeah, I know. You've been going downstairs at midnight and grabbing chips and dip. That's not what I consider eating," he replied. I felt the other side of my bed dip but I didn't bother to say anything.

"It's food entering my stomach. I consider it eating," I told him.

"You've got to be hungry," he responded. To be honest, I was, but I wasn't going to tell him that.

"Not really," I replied.

"Not even for McDonalds?" he asked and I felt my stomach start to rumble. That sounds so good right now.

"No," I responded.

"Crispy chicken nuggets? With tasty barbeque sauce? Delicious, salty French fries?" he asked me and I tried to clench my stomach to stop the growling. Any second, he'll hear it.

"Not at all," I replied. Being the traitor that it is, my stomach began growling loudly.

"I heard that," Phoenix remarked from beside me. I turned around to tell him that his two minutes were up, but he caught me off guard. He was lying down on his side, facing me, with a small smile on his face. I immediately backed up, nearly falling off of the bed, but he reached out and grabbed a handful of blankets, yanking me forward. "I know you're hungry, Grace."

"Go away," I grunted as I buried my face in the pillows.

"How about McDonalds? On me? All you have to do is get up and come with me," he attempted.

"No," I responded. Though very, very tempting, I'm not leaving my room, especially not for him.

"I won't even talk to you. I'll just take you to McDonalds, buy you food, and then I'll take you straight back where you can come in here like a recluse," he continued. I glared at him and he grinned. "Come on, Grace. You need to eat something."

"How about you go get the McDonalds, bring it here, and leave?" I suggested.

"No, you need to get up and do something," he told me. "You haven't moved in two days."

"I'm going for the record," I muttered.

"Come on, Grace," he pressed. "Free McDonalds? When do you ever get offered free McDonalds?"

I stared at him and sighed. "Okay, fine, if you'll leave me alone forever."

"Okay," he responded with a grin as he got up. He went to yank the blankets off of me but I shook my head.

"Don't," I insisted.

"Why not?" he asked as his hands hovered over the blankets right above my legs.

"Because I'm not wearing any pants," I told him and his eyes widened as he immediately removed his hands from the blankets.

"Just get ready," he told me. "I'll be waiting in the living room." I quietly sighed in relief in as he got up and approached the door. Before he closed it, he turned and faced me with that all too familiar grin. "And maybe, if you're lucky, I'll give you another hug."